Category Archives: Humour

More Coronavirus Crap

as we come to the end of the ‘pandemic’
the ‘great and the good’ prove just how stupid they are

covid will last forever

and we need to live with it like flu

~

the virus is never going to go away

~

the public will have to get used to covid deaths

so what is an acceptable number of daily victims?

~

the covid ‘passport’ to enter sporting events is back again

~

couples face a £10,000 fine

if they don’t do a proper covid risk assessment on their wedding

~

vaccine shortage is now threatening the end of lockdown in England

~

and finally for today

Russia has now identified the Moscow variant

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

mask wearing will be compulsory forever

Songs on Saturday ~ Daydream Believer

believe in your dreams
because if you don’t nobody else will

I remember this Monkees song from nineteen-hundred-and-frozen-to-death, (actually 1968).  Back the it wasn’t ‘cool’ to like the Monkees, not when here in England we had The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Fleetwood Mac, and Manfred Mann.  But I liked this back then, and I still like it now.

Besides, I like the message, because I do believe in my dreams.

Please listen with a smile.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

underneath all that is a very cool, hard core, Pontiac GTO

 

Random Jottings ~ A Fresh Start

no matter what, tomorrow is another day

~

life’s a beach, put your footsteps in the virgin sand

~

living in your comfort zone, staying with a bad relationship

is just building your own prison walls

~

a new year isn’t the only time to make a fresh start

~

when your partner cheats on you

be positive about it and find a better partner

~

if what you’re doing isn’t working

try something else instead

~

don’t be limited by others

choose to believe in yourself

~

you either own yourself

or you let others own you

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

don’t look back

you’re not going that way

Random Jottings ~ Lies

no woman ever lies about how much they drink
or where they’ve just been

~

a woman will ask a question when she already knows the answer

so lying to her is usually  is futile

~

the perfect man

doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t lie, doesn’t cheat

and doesn’t exist

~

never lie to a woman, unless it’s also a compliment

~

you can always tell when a politician is lying

it’s when they’re talking

~

a good liar is an expert at deceiving himself

~

a lie can be half-way around the world

before the truth has got its boots on

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

never trust a drunk

they lie just for fun

Random Jottings ~ Travel

vacations in California are good for me

it’s better to to take a road trip in a convertible Mustang

than it is to arrive

~

live with no apologies, travel with no regrets

~

travel, you can always get more money

you can’t buy more time

~

choose your travelling companion wisely

you will be sharing your life with her

~

I have nothing to lose and a whole world to explore

~

the journey of a thousand miles begins with buying a ticket

~

travel broadens the mind, sitting around broadens the behind

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

given a choice

always travel in style

A Short Break to History

the thing about English History is that there’s a lot of it

it is the most haunted city in England

~

history is not a burden on the memory

but an illumination of the soul

~

look for ghosts with an open mind and you will find them

~

there are a lot of local legends about this ancient city

devils, cats, tiny streets, and witches

~

the construction of England is the art of the possible

~

here in England we don’t think that 1787 is such a long time ago

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

in England, where there’s a church

there’s also a good pub

 

Random Jottings ~ Apologies

never apologise for showing your true feelings 
never apologise for feeling hurt
~
a bad apology is better than none
~
an excuse isn’t the same as an apology
~
if he says; ‘I’m sorry you feel that way…..’
then run far and run fast
~
‘I am sorry you’re angry…..’ is not an apology
~
some say that sorry seems to be the hardest word
it isn’t, goodbye is
~
an apology is meaningless if he keeps doing what he was sorry for
~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

telling her that you love her

is not being weak

unless you apologise for it

Dangerous Liars

some say that women make the best liars

and that a woman will lie about anything

just to stay in practice

~

some say men lie the most

but women tell the biggest lies

~

women lie about their feelings

while most men speak the truth very easily

~

women love the lie that saves their pride

but never an unflattering truth

~

secrets and lies kill relationships

no matter how careful you are, you will get caught

~

women lie the most when they lie to themselves about a man

~

everybody lies, but mature women lie more than most

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

some women can make a man fall in love with their lies

 

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Monster Mash

I was working in my lab, late one night…..

The news is so depressing and divisive that I thought we could all use a bit of a laugh today.  This is one of those songs from the past that appeals to the 1960s in me, along with the E-Type Jaguar, England beating Germany in the World Cup, and Sean Connery as James Bond.

The Aston Martin DB5 is the classic car for British Secret Agents.  However, originally Bond drove a blower Bentley.  Not a lot of people know that.  And that the Addams Family drove a Packard V12.  Of course the only V12 worth owning is an E-Type.

I digressed a bit there.  Must be lockdown madness.  I am attending a 12-step group for the whole howling at the moon thing……

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

V12 E-Type Jaguar in dark BRG

Things Men Do

one reason men are slobs is that
mothers let boys get away with it

~

it takes a lot of hard work and practice to become a lazy slob

~

some men think that being a lazy slob is a full-time job

~

men have more grades of laundry than clean and dirty

~

a man will spend ages looking for the remote

rather than walk over and change channels manually

~

men believe that where there’s muck there’s money

~

rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength

~

Moses was lost in the desert for 40 years

and he wouldn’t ask for directions either

~

men look after the environment

they like saving water

and eating right out of the can

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

most men will cheat

and have sex with any bar fly

if they think they can get away with it

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