Category Archives: Humour

Random Jottings #10

to her, drinking responsibly meant not spilling it

~

what happens to history if booze had never been invented?

~

‘she is my most precious possession…..’ he said

then she threw her drink in his face

~

‘I drink to forget…..’ she said

‘forget what…..?’

‘fucked if I can remember…..’

~

the secret of life, the universe, everything really

isn’t found at the bottom of a glass

but it’s always worth looking

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

if she was going to get buzzed

she was going to do it elegantly

 

 

 

Random Jottings #9

of course you’re not scared of me, I’m not the vampire

~

‘I adore you…..’ she said.  ‘please take your clothes off…..’

‘these aren’t clothes…..’

‘you’re a werewolf, aren’t you…..?’

~

she was so fucking hot

and so into being used by the wolf

~

the witch wore black satin and lace

the werewolf wasn’t impressed, he much preferred red

~

the werewolf came to her, charmed by her soft voice

‘you are lascivious lust incarnate…..’ Red Riding Hood whispered

‘and I like that’ 

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Red Riding Hood had almost tamed a werewolf

now what was she going to do with him?

 

 

Random Jottings #8

no matter if you’re a vampire or a werewolf, love is still love

~

vampires werewolves and demons lurk in the shadows

nothing does a good lurk like a werewolf

~

moonlight music and a werewolf

what more could a girl want?

~

she should never have gone into that place

it was one of those bars where the nature of werewolves slowly becomes apparent

it’s lucky that she was a real dog

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

dances with werewolves

just don’t show him your throat

Random Jottings #7

it’s always the car ~ hot women love a cool jaguar

~

he was enchanted by her beautiful angel eyes

he was enthralled by her lascivious witch’s mouth

he was utterly lost to her when she danced in his mind

~

‘Do you love me?  he asked…..

but he knew in his heart that whatever she said would be a lie

‘No….’ she replied

~

Black is a good colour on a woman, or a car

both of them are expensive

if you have to choose, black silk is the better

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

another brilliant disguise

and not every woman can wear black

 

 

Lockdown Exercise

the infinite mystery of the sea dwells in a mermaid’s magical heart

You may be in lockdown, which is pretty miserable, but that shouldn’t mean sitting in front of the TV all day snacking and drinking beer.  We all need to stay fit and healthy during this medical emergency, and that means carrying on with our exercise routines.

Here in England I can go out for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine, once a day, providing that I stay close to the garret, (and sensibly don’t stop and talk with anyone at all).

Something else I can do is take some fun exercise indoors.  My friend magickmermaid  posted this music video as a comment on my blog yesterday as something different to exercise with ~ and I think it’s brilliantly hilarious.  I hope you do too.

If you have any other suggestions for fun music videos to exercise to, then please share them.

I’m told laughing and sex are great exercise too.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

a prayer for spring by magick mermaid

please click on the link above

 

 

Random Jottings #5

an affair with a female dragon, it can be fun, it can be lethal

~

never argue with a dragon

things could get heated

~

‘come to me,’ she said in a hot erotic voice

‘I’d rather not,’ he replied

‘oh, why?’

‘you’re a dragon, and last time I got burned’

~

total self-confidence is sexually attractive

even in a female dragon

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

infidelity is dangerous

when your mistress is a dragon

Random Jottings #4

lust is an insidious beast, the more you feed it the more it grows

~

Don’t leave me…..’ she said

He gave her the car keys and walked into the night

~

He met her in a bar

it was one of those bars where the true nature of vampires slowly becomes apparent

~

She was the best looking woman he had ever been with

the best part was, she was also a sapphic sorceress

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

he wanted her

he wanted her to leave him alone

Random Jottings #3

she was an angel craving chaos and excitement

~

it might seem a long way to Purgatory

but it’s a hell of a long walk back

~

some say that the longest journey starts with the first step

I think it’s better if you decide where to go first

~

she was mad, she was bad, she was exotic, she was erotic

she was Alicia, his designated demon for the evening

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

she was a demon seeking peace

she was a witch seeking tranquility

Random Jottings #2

come not between a dragon and her wrath

~

the secret of Life, the Universe, and everything

probably isn’t written on the back of a cornflake packet

~

what does a computer think about when it’s been switched off?

obviously windows ~ but what does it see through the glass?

~

OK, so let’s go and explore the Universe

OK, so let’s go into town, have a few beers and a curry, and pick up a couple of girls first

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

OK, so if you want to prove your love for me

go and kill me a dragon

 

Random Jottings #1

one thought can change your whole life

Genius doesn’t come with a set of instructions,

genius comes with a lot of dark and stormy nights

~

‘I love you with all my heart and soul,’ he said 

‘Get your wallet out,’  she replied

~

Sometimes the best part of the day is the first drink,

sometimes the best part of the day is the last drunk

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the cat looked at the dragon,

and mutually, they called it a draw

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