Tunes on Tuesday ~ Casablanca
Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman ~ As Time Goes By
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In Casablanca, Rick never said; ‘Play it again Sam’, but he should have
Women can drive a man to remember, and to think
all that may make a guy so take just one more drink
and booze does no good, but his love is treacherous
he can do better, and he will always have memories
I never truly told a friend how much I loved her, and I should have.
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jack collier jackcollier7@talktalk.net
The Dear Joan Letter
If you take everything personally and to heart, it will tear you apart.
just
reject
eschew
criticisms
trust yourself
be who you are
have self-awareness
and total self-assurance
display utter self-confidence
try to really know who you are
let all those bastards and bitches
just fuck off to have a really nice day
in their sad dysfunctional relationships
of bad one-time loves and other strangers
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
some relationships are mere transitory financial transactions.
Road Trip Eclipsed
If you’re always looking back, how can you see the road in front of you.
talking
and laughing
towns passing by
sharing quiet intimacy
marvelling at the scenery
enjoying long roads’ rhythms
discovering unknown real America
driving through the country no one sees
California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Wyoming
witnessing the marvel of a dark sun at noontime
knowing those uplifting moments will be long gone
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Marmaduke really likes road trips
and so do I
Wild Romance
If you want me, just whistle. You know how to whistle don’t you…..
You are the one
unique and singular
more beautiful to me than
a rainbow in its serried colours
wild, free, and hotter than the sun
romancing you and my life just began
strange, crazy, weird, erotic, feral, and fun
come and ride the river, come ride the moon
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
lovely, lithe, lissom, languid, lascivious, lust
must I always be alone?
the basic nature of a man is constructive, faithful, and trustworthy
If you have been following this blog, you will know that, over the past few years, circumstances, and my own stubborn nature, converged with my incipient depression to create a weird and unsustainable view of life for me. Not only that, I was also suffering from vicious, undiagnosed, and untreated Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), and that blessed me with paranoia and a morbid fear of abandonment.
Add those things together and what happened was that I became an agoraphobic, anti-social, celibate, friendless, psychotic recluse.
My door stayed locked, I seldom left my apartment, I avoided meeting people, the telephone remained unanswered, and I deleted unread any emails I received. Quite honestly, I may as well have been dead as to live that kind of non-life.
It took years, and I do mean years, for me to begin to break out of my self-made prison.
My escape started because I like to write, I wasn’t writing anything, and so I went to a writers’ group, met a few people, and even spoke to them without my being stabbed, attacked, denigrated….. And then I started to write this blog ~ and trust me to begin with it was terrible. Yet, an amazingly articulate woman in California found something that she liked in the way I wrote. And, as things happen, we became long-distance, online friends.
Those of you who have been in a long-distance relationship will know that it’s fraught with problems, and my friendship with this cool Californian woman is probably no better or worse than most relationships that started on-line. As you would expect from a guy with Borderline Personality Disorder in their background, I became obsessed with her, had unrealistic expectations, and did stupidly impulsive things. I was not constructive, reliable, nor trustworthy. None of that was helpful.
My good fortune is that I spent some time with a therapist, my doctor, and a psychiatrist. The general consensus of their opinion was that I had been suffering from BPD, but I was mostly recovered ~ at the time that was all news to me, (I even had to look up what the hell Borderline Personality Disorder was).
But, if I was mostly recovered I could start to live my life the way I wanted, and not the way a serious mental illness was telling me to exist.
Ergo, I am on a journey of self-awareness, self-discovery, self-development, and self-improvement. Now I mostly say and do what I think is right, and those that don’t like it can just feck off and have a nice day, and please don’t keep in touch. That new and more assertively honest attitude of mine has ruffled a few feathers ~ but I’m never going back to being that agoraphobic, anti-social, celibate, friendless, obsessive, psychotic recluse.
Maybe I need to find some new friends, and maybe I’ll be alone again for a while.
Some say that a friend in need is a friend indeed. And that you should choose your friends wisely. All I know is that I’d rather be alone than have fair-weather friends.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
at least I have a friend in Marmaduke
and he’s always ready for anything
The Shipping Forecast
I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
and all I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by…..
At 05:20 each morning the haunting notes of Lillibullero announce the beginning of the shipping forecast on my wireless. Weather reports and forecasts for the seas around the coasts of the British Isles, it’s as reliable as Death and Taxes, and as accurate as an atomic clock. The shipping forecast has to be accurate, sailors lives depend upon it. It’s all about the wind, the sea, the sky, and the clouds.
The shipping forecast has been made available to sailors for the past 151 years, (except during wartime when weather was a military secret), and has been broadcast on the wireless since 1911. In more than 100 years the BBC has only failed to broadcast the forecast once, on 30 May 2014, when due to a technical fault listeners heard the BBC’s World Service instead.
The 31 sea areas reported always come in exactly the same order. Mostly I mentally tune out the reports and forecasts for such places as Southeast Iceland, Faeroes, Fair Isle, Viking….. But I really listen up when the announcer intones Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger….. because that includes ‘my’ sea area, and as my garret is just 100 yards from the sea I get whatever weather the shipping forecast says is expected.
Utterly reliable, honest, dependable, accurate, and a little old-fashioned, the Shipping Forecast is a rock of stability in an ever-changing world, and I’m probably the only person I actually know that listens to it.
I should learn from the Shipping Forecast. I firmly believe that what women want most in a long-term partner are exemplified by the qualities of that daily radio broadcast; reliability, honesty, dependability, accuracy in thought, word, and deed ~ and maybe a little sense of old-fashioned style.
Some say that women want spontaneity, excitement, adventure, really cool things. And, that most women want guys who pick up the restaurant bill, arrange the vacations and buy the tickets, and who will go to wild parties and pretend to enjoy them. All I know is that when the shit hits the fan women want a guy they can rely on to keep them safe, a guy as dependable as the Shipping Forecast.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talk
the cold grey North Sea is often a very dangerous place to be
Scenes on Sunday ~ Dramatic Clouds
There are no rules of architecture for a castle built in the clouds.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I heard their evils sounds
as they all tried to clip my wings
and keep my feet back on the ground
I don’t care, I’ve already burned my bridges
so don’t even look for me, I won’t ever be around
Songs on Saturday ~ Robert Palmer
A woman in love with her life is simply irresistible to men.
lovable
irresistible
utterly sexual
just unthinkable
you’re unforgivable
love’s lust permissible
passions understandable
she’s just simply irresistible
~
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Some other sorts of women seem to be irresistible to some sorts of impressionable men
It’s really understandable
courtship and romance
Life is a matter of courtship, wooing, romance, flirting, and dancing.
~
relationships and friendships may not last
personality and character sometimes alter
feelings attitudes may come from the past
be strong, be brave, be fast, do not falter
kind faithful honest honourable steadfast
and in time, with luck, you may yet win her
heart’s affections and her soul’s truest love
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
embrace courtly love
embrace your lover and dance
National Poetry Day
The Torch of Life
Today, Thursday October the 4th is National Poetry Day in England. The theme is Change. But you know what they say; plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose…..
This has long been my favourite poem, back to the days I had to learn it in Grammar school;
Vitaï Lampada
There’s a breathless hush in the Close to-night~
Ten to make and the match to win~
A bumping pitch and a blinding light,
An hour to play and the last man in.
And it’s not for the sake of a ribboned coat,
Or the selfish hope of a season’s fame,
But his captains hand on his shoulder smote
‘Play up! play up! and play the game!’
The sand of the desert is sodden red~
Red with the wreck of a square that broke;~
The Gatling’s jammed and the Colonel dead,
And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.
The river of death has brimmed his banks,
And England’s far, and Honour a name,
But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks:
‘Play up! play up! and play the game!’
This is the world that year by year,
While in her place the school is set,
Every one of her sons must hear,
And none that hears it dare forget.
This they all with a joyful mind,
Bear through life like a torch in flame,
And failing fling to the host behind~
‘Play up! play up! and play the game!’
1892 by Sir Henry Newbolt
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jack collier jackcollier7@talktalk.net
