failure consists of redoubling your efforts when you have completely forgotten your goal
The most pernicious word in modern English is denier ~ as in climate change denier, coronavirus denier, BAME denier, God denier, and worst of all Holocaust denier. I know all about denial, having lied to myself for years about being socially inadequate and denied having a drinking problem. But I could never have accused anyone of being an alcoholism denier. That does just not make sense. Calling someone else a denier is merely to show up the fact that you yourself are closed-minded, have no logical basis for whatever opinions you have, and are totally unwilling to listen to arguments that run counter to your own dogma.
Basically, you are not prepared to ever admit that there is the slightest possibility that you could ever be wrong. In that case, who the fuck do you think you are? God?
Everybody human is wrong some of the time. Sometimes we are mistaken, sometimes we are ill-informed or misinformed, sometimes our own inner programming is flawed, and sometimes we believe in something just because we want to. Notice that I said believe in and not believe. Those who use the word denier believe in things rather than believe the arguments and proofs that support a given position. They will never, ever admit that they are wrong.
Surely it’s time for climate-change deniers to have their opinions forcibly tattooed on their bodies. ~ Richard Glover
I learned that really listening to other people was an essential part of being a better man ~ sometimes other people’s opinions and beliefs are better than my own. I learned that there is probably no such thing as absolute truth. I learned that when I was wrong, promptly admitting it was essential for my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
There is no better test of a man’s integrity than his behavior when he is wrong. ~ Marvin Williams
There is a principle in 12 step recovery programmes; ‘Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it…..’ Really that does not go far enough, perhaps it should go on to say; ‘…..and changed our behaviour accordingly…..’
No person who ever calls another man a denier will ever admit that it is they who are wrong.
Some say that to deny that total lockdown is the only way to deal with the coronavirus is to risk the disease running rampant, causing megadeaths. And that any opinion other than their own is emphatically false. All I know is that I have been wrong in the past, and no doubt I will be wrong again in the future.
so busy fighting off the alligators you’ve forgotten you are supposed to be draining the swamp
you cannot fix something if you don’t know it’s broken
Each and every one of us is programmed ~ what we think, what we believe, how we behave, what we like and what we dislike are automatic responses, programmed reactions and actions buried deep in our subconscious. Our conscious minds only govern what we do about 10% of the time, and most of the time what our conscious minds do, think, and feel is based on all that stuff way down in our unconsciousness. So, if you are scared of snakes, it isn’t a conscious thing, it’s actually a primeval race-memory so far down in your subconscious you don’t even know it’s there until the first time you come across a serpent.
If you have problems in your life, if you can’t handle certain situations, if you keep lurching from one disastrous relationship to another, then you are not consciously doing that on purpose. A string of dysfunctional relationships in your past, and the likelihood that you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again in the future, means that there is something dysfunctional with the tapes in your unconscious mind.
The scary thing is that all that programming, all of your beliefs, behaviors, and opinions were put there before you were seven years old. The adults in your life; your parents, your wider family, older siblings, teachers impressed their thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits, and prejudices upon your unformed mind while you were still a child. And there was nothing whatsoever you could do about it. Ergo, if you are a borderline alcoholic, drug addict, a heavy smoker, or obese ~ it’s not all your own fault. If you’re promiscuous, dishonest, and continually finding yourself in toxic relationships, then that’s not completely your fault either. It’s because you were taught all those things when you didn’t know any better.
Before I was five years old I was taught that women are lying bitches, and that men who have anything to do with women are bad. I was taught that sex is nasty, dirty, and wrong. I was taught that love is meaningless, that interpersonal relationships are always toxic, and that sex outside of marriage is a sin that will send me to hell. I know who did that to me.
It took me right up until a few days ago to realise this, to truly know what was broken in me. Right up until a few days ago my life was dysfunctional, I was unable to have a stable relationship, I couldn’t ever be truly open, honest, trusting, or loving. My life was toxic. I drank to much to escape the way I always acted and reacted.
If that is anything like you, then look deep within to find out what is broken in you. Then, when you know what’s broken you might have some chance of fixing it. Be like me and kill the snake in your mind.
it wasn’t all her own fault that Red Riding Hood liked wolves just a little too much
true happiness means getting enough good sleep
insomnia is subtle torture
Sleeping well is vitally important to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Conversely, insomnia is stressful and will eventually make you ill.
Scientific surveys tell us that most people require between 6 and 8 hours of good sleep every night.
You can’t store sleep up in advance, but you can make up for lost sleep afterwards.
For good sleep you should go to bed at the same time every evening, and get up at the same time every morning.
Sleep medication only works for a little while. One should never take sleep aids for longer than a couple of weeks.
Smokers will never get a settled night’s sleep until months after they quit.
Booze may send you to sleep, but thereafter it ruins your night’s rest. Drinkers will never get a settled night’s sleep until they have had a little sobriety.
Drinkers will tend to have vivid and sometimes disturbing dreams.
Caffine in coffee or tea has very little effect on sleep.
Eating late at night will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep. Don’t eat within two hours of going to bed.
The blue light from your phone or tablet will stop you from falling into deep REM sleep, the kind of sleep we all need.
Watching TV in your bedroom late into the night will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.
A lack of real daylight during waking hours will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.
Plenty of fresh air and exercise during the day promotes good sleep.
Bedrooms should be cool, dark, and quiet.
Your subconscious mind should associate your bedroom with only two things; sleep and sex.
Some say they can get by on 2 or 3 hours sleep a night. And that the only time they have problems is when they are trying to sleep. All I know is that early to bed and early to rise make one healthy, wealthy, and wise.
don’t spend too long gazing at the moon
that’s for lunatics
a man’s main task in life is to know who he is
and then to know who he can become
For most of our lives we were who other people told us to be. ‘Be a good boy…..’ my parents told me. ‘You will have to work harder than this…..’ my teachers said. ‘You need to put in more hours…..’ my bosses ordered. ‘You should dress differently….. my ‘friends’ advised. And unconsciously I made the choices to do what I was told. Eventually, some of us were unlucky enough to make the unconscious choice to go along with whatever we thought our girl / significant other / partner wanted. In becoming what other people wanted us to be we stopped making our own decisions, our whole reality became skewed, and we lost ourselves.
In my life I’ve made a lot of bad choices because I didn’t know who was, didn’t know what I wanted, and didn’t know who and what I wanted to become. The good choices I made were all logical, dispassionate, intellectual ~ if I could weigh it, measure it, or count it, then it would work for me. The bad choices were all emotional, based on desires, gratification, wants, and lusts. All of those choices turned to dross.
A while ago I made the conscious decision to be myself, and that meant throwing away a lot of crap, in fact it meant throwing away almost everything of who and what I used to be. That’s OK because it’s easier to build something from the beginning than it is to modify something to try and make it work.
Dare to be what your best self knows you ought to be; dare to be a bigger human being than you have ever been. ~ Norman Vincent Peale
Some say that when people change promises are broken. And, that if you insist on going your own way, then you will go alone. All I know is that I will be myself, no matter what. I will decide for myself just who I am and who and what I want to become.
this was part of who I truly was and am, and other people didn’t like it
autumn, a time for rich hearty meals
What with everything that’s happening in the world, and now that fall is upon us, perhaps the time has come to ditch our lighter diets, and instead fill our plates with rich and hearty foods. And, let’s be honest, we could all do with some comfort food right now.
And, of course, autumn does mean apples. And, piles of leaves. And, Rose Hips. And Pumpkins.
Although, please wear a warm scarf.
With all that in mind, first for this Friday we have Jessica Merchant at How Sweet Eats, and her Cider Braised Pot Roast with Caramelized Onions and Cauliflower Rice. I don’t yet know what this tastes like, but it looks and sounds fabulous.
Cider Braised Pot Roast with Caramelized Onions and Cauliflower Rice
From Tieghan Gerard at Half Baked Harvest we have a Healthy Slow Cooker Chipotle Bean Chili. This is a healthy, hearty, vegetarian, comfort food meal. Switch the cheese and you can have it vegan, or add chicken for those who like that.
Healthy Slow Cooker Chipotle Bean Chili
Another chili recipe, this time from Country Living; Pumpkin Beef and Black Bean Chili. This is one of Country Living’s 60+ Best Pumpkin Recipes to Delight Your Family All Fall Long ~ a very good collection. Look no further for your pumpkin recipe ideas.
Pumpkin Beef and Black Bean Chili
Autumn is a time for soups and stews, and Tiffany at Creme de la Crumb has a copycat recipe for Olive Garden Chicken Gnocchi Soup. I don’t know what this is like at an Olive Garden, but it looks great here.
Olive Garden Chicken Gnocchi Soup
Corn and Potato Chowder
For Dessert, Diane offers us this Apple Pan Pie, which here we would call an apple crumble. Fabulous served with cream or even ice cream.
Apple Pan Pie
kids and dogs love fallen leaves
so do we young at heart
reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one
the monsters inside your mind
There are facts, there is useful information, and then there is how we act and react. Your husband / wife cheating on you is a fact, but how you think about that, how you feel about it, how you react to the infidelity is all up to you. The past is filled with facts, but the future is merely an illusion until you create it. Faced with something horrible like your loved one cheating on you people can go one of two ways; #1 spiral down into dark emotions #2 accept it and move on.
Faced with the fact that something real and terrible happened we have choices. We can let it ruin our lives, become a resentful alcoholic, or just curl up and die. Alternatively we can make some positive decisions, such as forgive or get a divorce. But the most positive thing one can do after a disaster in our lives is accept it, make the best of it, think of it as part of life’s rich tapestry, and move on. Your future is merely an illusion until you create it. If you let something fester and create character defects in your personality, then you are ruining your future.
There is a thing called disaster shock, and it’s why people do strange things in strange times. Disaster shock applies just as much to bad news as it does to surviving an earthquake. Disaster shock applies just as much to getting a divorce as it does to being shipwrecked in a hurricane. There are two types of people in this world; the victims and the survivors. It’s an attitude of mind.
After something horrible happens we can either choose to die, or thrive. When I quit my career, got divorced, lost my home, and ended up broke I chose to let the dark side take over my mind. I stopped doing very much of anything except watching TV and drinking. That wasn’t the worst of it. I let negativity and resentment become my way of life, and that was what truly ruined my life for a while.
I am better than that now.
Do not deny the past, nor hide from it. Accept the past and make the best of it.
the monsters in your mind
will kill you more certainly
than the werewolf at the door
when you have really fucked things up, then it’s time to make amends
Perhaps this tune will go someway to making up for my really making a mess of things over the last few days.
I hope you like it.
Please listen to the lyrics.
It would be nice to take my friend down to a beach and draw a heart in the sand for her
if you have a wasps nest, burn down your house
Boris has lost the plot
Here in England the government’s popularity has tanked after the latest hysterical pronouncements on ‘controlling the coronavirus’. Luckily the Chancellor of the Exchequer has vetoed the idea of a second national lockdown and Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s own party’s Members of Parliament are in open revolt over the economic devastation caused by the COVID-19 laws, regulations, and recommendations. Voters here are also more worried about the state of the economy than they are about a virus which is a lot less worse than the seasonal flu which is about to hit us. Polls suggest that 48% of voters think the government is doing ‘the wrong things’, while only 38% believe the government has got it right.
This coming week M.P.s will vote on whether ministers need parliamentary approval before introducing any more COVID-19 laws and regulations. The signs are that the government will lose this vote and be forced to come to parliament every time they want to enact another stupid coronavirus law.
England is in the grip of corrupt mad scientists, especially Sir John Bell who owns £770,000 worth of shares in Roche, the pharmaceutical company who charged £13.5 million for the pointless antibody screening kits he advocated. Then there is Sir Patrick Vallance, the Government’s Chief Scientific Advisor, who has £600,000 of shares in GlaxoSmithKline the pharmaceutical company developing coronavirus vaccines that are unlikely to do anything to stop this alleged pandemic.
The influenza vaccine, which is widely regarded as being a success, is said to prevent 50% of cases in a good year, down to 15% in years when the winter flu really takes hold. But that’s statistical rubbish because only the people who have had the vaccine are measured. It’s likely that half the people who become eligible to have the COVID-19 vaccine won’t have anything to do with it, and that there just isn’t the capacity to immunise large swathes of the population anyway. The coronavirus vaccine is no silver bullet.
The worst place for COVID-19 in England is a North Western town called Burnley, which has the equivalent of 256 cases per 100,000 people, or an infection rate of 0.256% of its population. You have more chance of being run over by a bus than you have catching the coronavirus.
Meanwhile business here; bars, pubs, restaurants, are subject to a 10 pm curfew. All that means is that young people start their drinking night out earlier in the evening. Slow handclap for the thick scientists who thought that a curfew was a good, workable idea.
Some say that COVID-19 is the worst threat faced by civilisation, ever. And that we must all be good sheep and follow our government’s orders. All I know is that the government has totally lost the plot.
mad scientists are running the country now
you are never defined by your illness
last night I dreamed about schooldays like this
The past few days I have been feeling lousy, confused, fatigued all the time, tired, weird dreams….. I thought I was going crazy. But no. Now I have a sore throat, headache, sore joints, my ears hurt, and I’m still very weary. So, I know I probably have a recurrence of some illness I had as a kid. Could be mumps, or glandular fever, or goodness knows what. I do know it’s not the stupid coronavirus.
If you catch something as a child, then you are mostly immune for the rest of your life, but not completely immune. Especially if you get run down, then a childhood virus can hit you again.
Lots of rest, lots of vitamins, a little bit of feeling sorry for myself, and I’ll be as right as rain in a week or so.
In the meantime I’ll take all the sympathy I can get.
what my head feels like