Category Archives: Ethics

Random Jottings ~ Lies

no woman ever lies about how much they drink
or where they’ve just been

~

a woman will ask a question when she already knows the answer

so lying to her is usually  is futile

~

the perfect man

doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t lie, doesn’t cheat

and doesn’t exist

~

never lie to a woman, unless it’s also a compliment

~

you can always tell when a politician is lying

it’s when they’re talking

~

a good liar is an expert at deceiving himself

~

a lie can be half-way around the world

before the truth has got its boots on

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

never trust a drunk

they lie just for fun

Scenes on Sunday ~ Women with a Past

a woman with a past is still someone’s future

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the past was not always pleasant

sometimes it’s best forgotten

if you don’t know me by now

misunderstandings and rejections

Following on from this morning’s post Rejection in Relationships, I thought I’d let you listen to this song by Simply Red.  It says a lot about what it feels like to be rejected inside a relationship / marriage.  It hurts, a lot.

If you find yourself listening to this kind of song

then I’m guessing you’re not happy

and it’s time to move on

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

sometimes, it’s time to walk away

Rejection in Relationships

a healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down

misery is never acceptable

Who here has never been dumped?  I have, more than once, and it hurts.  However, I firmly believe that what hurts worse than being rejected and dumped is being rejected by your spouse or partner while the relationship goes on between you.  You are still mostly living together, but that’s the most you can say of it.  You may even be having sex, but it’s lacking in intimacy and is nothing more than satisfying some animal lust.  Bad sex is worse than no sex at all, and in a toxic relationship sex is all about power.

Everything in the world is about sex except sex.  Sex is about power.  ~  Oscar Wilde

Some signs of being rejected inside a relationship are that you avoid being together, you hardly ever talk and when you do there is no real communication, communication descends into arguments, recriminations, and raised voices, you don’t trust your partner at all, one of you drinks far too much, and the chances are that you are being cheated on.  Anyhow, if your partner is rejecting you then you already know.  Being rejected can hurt for a while, being rejected inside a relationship makes you miserable forever, or until you find the courage to walk out.

If you don’t trust your partner / spouse, if you don’t let them anywhere near your money, if you go to counseling alone or to a 12 step group, if you are being mentally, psychologically or physically abused, if you feel like a doormat, if you are always walking on eggshells ~ then it’s time to have an escape plan.  The thing is that, anyone who can subject someone they profess to care for to the misery of rejection is themselves a deeply damaged person.  In psychology Anti-Social has some very specific meanings, it describes someone who has no conscience, no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, no guilt.  Anti-Social people are promiscuous, often abuse alcohol and drugs, they cheat and steal, are narcissistic, and often they will break the law; things like petty theft or driving under the influence.  Someone who will reject their partner or spouse is deeply Anti-Social.

And beware because simple rejection can escalate into Gaslighting, a form of extreme psychological abuse.  If you suffer from anxiety, depression, question your own sanity ~ then you are being gaslighted.  If that is you, and you sometimes fear for your own safety, or even your own life, then it’s not time to walk away, it’s time to run.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

feeling like a prisoner is never acceptable

Dangerous Liars

some say that women make the best liars

and that a woman will lie about anything

just to stay in practice

~

some say men lie the most

but women tell the biggest lies

~

women lie about their feelings

while most men speak the truth very easily

~

women love the lie that saves their pride

but never an unflattering truth

~

secrets and lies kill relationships

no matter how careful you are, you will get caught

~

women lie the most when they lie to themselves about a man

~

everybody lies, but mature women lie more than most

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

some women can make a man fall in love with their lies

 

Living Normally

All I want is to live a normal life

the beach at Cancun

As we gradually come out of lockdown, some normal things I haven’t been able to do for months have become possible ~ like getting my hair cut, or even booking a vacation.

One of the good things about having been in self-isolation for over a year is that I haven’t spent much money, so now I am almost out of lockdown I can afford to take my friend to anywhere we would like to go.

Should be fun.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this might be the route to normality

Mercurial Me

subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood

what’s behind you doesn’t matter

There’s another definition of mercurial which is someone who is clever, confident, lively, and quick; the archetypal Type A personality.  Both of the above are pretty accurate descriptions of who I am.  I am also an Ares; passionate, intense, instinctive, aggressive, physical, unpredictable, a black-and-white, here-and-now, straight-line thinker.  You might gather that I don’t like settling for second best.  You might not think that I have a great sense of humour and a wicked laugh.

In the past I used to like things quick and dirty, but that was because I had no inherited wisdom, no role models to look back on, and very little fear of failure.  I learned the hard way that walking  blindly into the swamp to slay a dragon wasn’t always the best way to go about things.  I learned very fast that casual sex is sordid.  Acting on impulse has usually ended in big trouble for me.

I used to have an uncontrollable and sudden temper, which fortunately always passed just as quickly as it came upon me.  These days I’ve learned to count to ten, and then ten again, before letting anger and frustration get the better of me.  (Actually after counting to 20 I’m usually bored with being annoyed.)  However, one hangover from those bad old days is that to this day I never forget and never forgive.

My standards are very high, some would say impossibly so.  I am judgmental, I measure myself harshly and I judge others just as severely.  Perhaps that’s because I am intelligent, dynamic, quick, and confident enough to see the slow mediocrity in others.  Because I am utterly honorable and honest I despise liars, especially those who lie by sly omission.

Why am I telling you this?  Because my birthday was just a couple of days ago, and now we are into my star-sign of Ares it seemed a good moment to remind myself of just who I am.  A man who likes the passionate joy of the chase as much as the conquest.  A man who lives a great life to the fullest, even during this fucking lockdown.  (BTW, I get very upset if a woman ever used the ‘F’ word in public.)

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I know about astronomy

and astral navigation too

Having a Better Memory

drinking alcohol is very bad for your brain

beer still gets you drunk, but it also makes you fat

For a lot of people alcohol becomes a crutch to allow them to handle the feelings, situations, and people they encounter in daily life.  Lots of people I know use booze to become more outgoing, manage stress, combat depression, relax, and as an aid to sleep.  However, alcohol isn’t a cure for shyness, stress, depression, anxiety, nor insomnia ~ except in the very short term, and if you only drink in moderation.

Taken in larger quantities, and over longer periods, alcohol does exactly the opposite of the things that you drank for in the first place.  Add to that some worse effects of too much drink; recklessness, loss of morality and ethics, severe anxiety and depression, complete emotional immaturity, using other drugs, promiscuity, criminality ~ and one can see that drinking a lot for very long is a bad idea.

If you drink too much, for even one evening, the alcohol will affect your memory.  Memory loss is a sure and certain effect of too much booze.  You might not remember the night before at all, or only vaguely remember bits of it, and you might not believe it when your friends tell you what you did.  Your brain will even invent false memories just to let you fill in the blanks.

Drinking to excess over long periods means the memory loss becomes permanent, along with nastier things like wet brain and dementia.  Luckily most people die from alcohol related causes long before they lose their mind.  Even better, if you stop drinking the memory loss and cognitive dysfunction will slowly reverse itself as the fog of booze clears and new brain cells grow to replace the ones killed off by alcohol.

I stopped drinking just after Christmas 2020.  Now, instead of being a high-functioning binge-drinker I am becoming a Modern Renaissance Man with a near eidetic memory.

Which would I rather be; a drooling incontinent drunk, or a very cool guy, living a really great life to the fullest?

Alcohol has left the building.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

people do things under the influence

that they would never do sober

Things Men Do

one reason men are slobs is that
mothers let boys get away with it

~

it takes a lot of hard work and practice to become a lazy slob

~

some men think that being a lazy slob is a full-time job

~

men have more grades of laundry than clean and dirty

~

a man will spend ages looking for the remote

rather than walk over and change channels manually

~

men believe that where there’s muck there’s money

~

rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength

~

Moses was lost in the desert for 40 years

and he wouldn’t ask for directions either

~

men look after the environment

they like saving water

and eating right out of the can

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

most men will cheat

and have sex with any bar fly

if they think they can get away with it

Emotional Blackmail

most women are very good at emotional blackmail
but a better woman would never go that low

solitary sulking in a bar is also sexual and emotional blackmail

I would aver that any man who has been in a dysfunctional relationship has experienced emotional blackmail at first hand ~ so that’s 100% of mature men.  And if a man is strong enough, or insensitive enough not to give in to being emotionally blackmailed, women will deploy the nuclear option and start crying.  All women can cry on purpose as a way of manipulating a man’s emotions.  Conversely, where and when I was brought up in England real men never cry.

Crying in babies has a real function in that it stimulates loving and protective feelings in adults.  Most of the time an adult woman crying is deliberate emotional blackmail ~ and it works on boyfriends, lovers, partners, and husbands.  Only women and gay men use tears to manipulate others.  Generally women are experts in emotional blackmail, generally real men aren’t.  Generally, the most common emotional blackmailers are family members, close friends, and lovers.

Emotional blackmail is one of the great pastimes of family life.  ~  Mason Cooley

Men are far more often the victims of emotional and sexual blackmail than the villains.  It seems that men will use a well-planned direct approach to get what they want, whereas women prefer blackmail because it avoids direct confrontation.  At its worst emotional blackmail is where a woman who is close to you subtly threatens to punish you, or implies that you will suffer if you don’t comply with their wishes.  That woman will know your most intimate secrets and vulnerabilities.  She will use this personal knowledge to get you to obey her.  Whatever strengths and weaknesses a man has, an unscrupulous woman will use them against him.

A man must never, ever yield to emotional or sexual blackmail, or it will become a lifetime curse.  You can refuse to give in to threats, you can negotiate, and a strong man can just assert himself, but you must always honestly believe that you are in the right.

Some say that emotional blackmailers are childish bullies and should be treated accordingly.  And that women will use the withdrawal of sex as a tool in blackmail.  All I know is that you can’t go on fighting an emotional blackmailer, you can either train them to be better, or walk away.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this woman is an expert blackmailer

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