Category Archives: Ethics

Random Jottings #11

the truth is rarely pure, and never simple, unless you’re a cat

~

nobody can be wrong all the time

unless they are very, very good at it

~

‘you’re right, but I don’t agree…..’ he said

she hit him with a piano

~

the wrong love is hard work

on a bad day it’s bloody hard work

~

‘what’s the worst that can happen to me…..?’ he asked

‘the truth…..’ she answered

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

a real hero comes in the strangest disguises

Evolution in Action

it is not the strongest that survive, but the one most responsive to change

Evolution takes thousands of years, and in the last few days our thinking about every situation seems to have changed. fundamentally.  Perhaps our beliefs, attitudes, and actions are trying to play catch-up with us here.  None of us is used to a daily diet of bad news that rivals that which was fed to us English in the early months of the last war.  Catastrophic thinking is what we have here, the idea that the human brain is predisposed to jumping to worse-case scenarios, and it’s fucking dangerous.

In the not so distant past I was thinking about my next overseas vacation, perhaps a visit to California, or a trip to Crete,  Nowadays, I can’t go anywhere at all.  I turn on my TV and the news is just a long series of nightmares with the death toll being right at the top and tail of everything.

It’s a relief when a piece of news, or a telephone conversation with a friend, isn’t full of doom and gloom, a call that doesn’t have the fear of death looming over it.  Almost everyone is scared almost all the time, and there is a feeling of helpless resignation.

Well, I for one am going no further down that depressive, defeatist road.  This morning I did my usual laundry, took my usual walk for an hour or so, called at the store as usual, (although I did have to stand in line just to get in there), bought the kind of stuff I would usually buy….  Sadly when I got back to the garret I was too knackered to do my usual yoga and other exercises.  But thus far I’ve managed a fairly normal day, (for me), and I can live like this indefinitely.

But it’s not a great life if I can’t journey to the sun, see friends, travel all around England, walk towards the far horizons….  And sex is out of the question.  As far as I am concerned the sooner the world safely gets back to what we are predisposed to call normal, the better.

One big upside, I haven’t been brainwashed into believing all that catastrophic anthropogenic climate change crap for a little while.  Global warming looks pretty unimportant right now ~ call it evolution in action.

Stay safe and be well.  And may the Deities of your choice go with you.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

even a bed of roses is full of thorns

moonlight lust

the moon watched over all her lustful infidelities

~

alone

it was over

lonely midnight

moon shining silver

and she was going home

trying to smile, nothing there

she was beautiful, a mature slut

she would regret her lascivious lust

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

just a thong, under a see thru dress

and what’s wrong with that?

 

 

Songs on Sunday ~ 2002

meditation is not black magic, meditation is a relationship with yourself

For this Sunday some meditative music for you.  I have just discovered the band 2002, and they play some very cool tunes.  Try and breathe peacefully.

Meditation is sometimes difficult for me, but walking by the sea takes me to a very special place within my spirit.

Please listen responsibly.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

everyone needs love

Love and Fear

of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears

Many relationships are characterised by a lack of complete trust and a fear of really deep intimacy.  These relationships operate at a superficial level with neither partner fully accepting, believing, or understanding the other.  It could be that the couple have only been dating for a short while, or it could be that they have been married for years.  Every and any degree and type of couple and relationship can exist with one or both partners fearing complete intimacy.  Or if it’s a wider relationship several people may be feared and several may fear complete intimacy.

There seemed to be endless obstacles preventing me from living with my eyes open, but as I gradually followed up clue after clue it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear.  ~  Joanna Field.

It could be that one or more in a relationship has secrets about the past that they don’t ever want to share ~ in which case that fear of intimacy and vulnerability will most likely stay with them forever.  They will never share their true self with another person, least of all their partner.  This is actually a fear of themselves.

In some relationships there is also genuine and real fear of one partner for another.  This could be caused by;

  • Verbal Abuse, up to and including being screamed and sworn at.
  • Physical Abuse, up to and including beatings and murder.
  • Sexual Abuse, up to and including rape.
  • Neglect, both physical and emotional.
  • Mental or physical illnesses.
  • Substance abuse, do not expect an alcoholic or drug user to ever behave rationally.
  • Theft, miserliness, impulsive spending, cheating, promiscuity.

Those who fear intimacy, or fear their partner, will often look for ways of interacting safely with other people.  This can lead to serial adultery, joining weird groups and cults, hanging out in bars, casual sex, and looking for much older / younger sexual partners.

A characteristic of fear in a relationship is that there will be great difficulty in talking openly, of expressing wants, needs and desires, of being accepting and understanding.  This feeds into a vicious circle of unfulfilled needs as well as less and less trust.  In that kind of dysfunctional relationship there will be little communication, lots of accusations, and hardly any physical contact.  There will also be a complete unwillingness to accept any degree of uncertainty whatsoever.

I’ve been in a dysfunctional and toxic relationship, and it killed my mind and soul long before I got out ~ and getting out to start anew is probably the only cure.

Some say they are cautious of people whose deeds don’t match their words.  And that they are constantly upset, hurt, and wanting to break down and cry.  All I know is relationships are supposed to make us happy, smile, laugh, and build good memories of great times.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

some have very good reasons

to have memories of bad times

 

 

 

don’t ask about love

casual sex is the consolation you get when you can’t have love

~

‘Darling, may I ask you a question?’

‘Of course, ask me anything…..’

‘Have you ever been really in love?’

‘Like, in love, who with?’

‘Me, for a start…..’

‘Not really, not ever…..’

He took away the keys to her German sports car right after that.

She poisoned his designer coffee.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

never trust a woman who smokes in the bedroom

 

The Games People Play

it’s not just casual sex, it’s fully exploring her sexuality

~

The bar wasn’t crowded.  Younger guys playing pool, watching sports, drinking beer, looking at the older woman sitting alone.  Sexy dress, no bra, black stockings, much makeup.  One young guy caught her eye; ‘Do you wanna fuck?’ he mouthed.  ‘Yes….’ she mouthed back.  It was their first and last time.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

she thought the twenty-years age difference was hot

he thought she looked like an easy fuck

 

Ethics, Manners, and Morals

love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies

Everybody lies.  Everybody lies all the time.  Everybody lies to oil the wheels of business, friendship, politics, relationships, and society in general.  If everyone told the brutal truth all the time then this world would be filled with aggression, discord, mistrust, and violence ~ and that’s just about the state of the world anyway.  In most relationships, if both partners were absolutely truthful all of the time, then most relationships would last for about a New York second.

Most lies in most relationships are lies of omission, it’s sometimes impolite to tell our partner the complete truth.  Many would not say that their partner’s brother disgusts them, or that they go to the bar on the way home from work because coming home is the last thing they want to do at the end of a busy day.  Hardly anyone would say that they had sex with someone they picked up in that bar, and they don’t even know his / her name.  The first of those lies of omission is perhaps acceptable, for a while.  The last of those lies is immoral and unethical.

Sometimes lies are created by we what we believe are good manners.  We might say that our wife / husband looks nice, when in fact they look like a slut / skank / bum.  If you think about it that kind of a lie is actually very cruel.  Another unthinking lie is when we tell someone that we love them, and in reality we don’t much care for them at all, we only talk about love to get what we want from them ~ usually either money or sex.

Lies are perhaps the least of the unethical, ill-mannered, and immoral things that people do.  Begin with things such as alcoholism, casual sex, drug abuse, gambling, gaslighting, promiscuity, road-rage, stalking, stealing…..  All of those hurt someone, not least the person doing those immoral and unethical things.  You may think that being an alcoholic or a drug user, or promiscuous, or whatever is an illness and the unfortunate is not to blame.  Let me tell you that this is untrue, no matter what alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, or whatever anonymous may say.

And I know, because I have been there.  Everyone has an ethical and moral duty to be the best version of themselves they can possibly be, and if you drink, take drugs, fuck around you are debasing yourself and need to find help and treatment.  Nobody is ever going to think you are smart or clever for doing those things.  And afterwards, you will lie about it for the rest of your miserable dishonest life.

If you want to be a better person, then the place to begin is with good manners.  Respect yourself, respect others, and respect the world around you.  And, if you don’t know what having good manners really means, then maybe it’s time to learn.

Some say that they wouldn’t trust their partner out of their sight for a second.  And that they are sick of being ignored / talked over / abused.  All I know is that if I can turn my life around, anyone can.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

picking up young guys for sex is pushing morality a bit

Dog Eat Dog

it’s a dog eat dog world, and she’s just a kitten

The world can be a dog eat dog, the devil take the hindmost kind of a place.  The world I lived in for most of my career was like that ~ the top dogs in International Finance take few prisoners and think little of the people they step on to get to where they want to be.  So much of life is like that these days.  There is little honour and less trust among cheats, liars, and thieves.

We cannot even say that the dogs and rats, those who lie, cheat, and steal have some kind of character defect or mental illness ~ not unless you say that all politicians, bankers, businessmen, lawyers, millionaires, and billionaires have some kind of mental illness or character defect.  The top dogs in this world knowingly set out to do anything and everything it takes to get what they want.  And what the leaders of the pack want is money, power, influence, adulation, women, sex, and disciples ~ they want instant gratification.

Along they way this kind of man will do some despicable things in the name of competition and success ~ Judas and Brutus were not the first nor the last men to turn betrayal to a fine art.  Usurping and betraying your king is an almost sure-fire way to success ~ although that kind of sweet success often turns to bitter ashes.

When you strike at a king, you must kill him.  ~  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

There’s the rub, when you betray someone, when you cheat, lie, and steal you must succeed at the first attempt, or else beware of the consequences.  There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded beast.  And in our day to day lives there is nothing more dangerous than a wronged wife / husband / partner / friend…..  Revenge may well be a dish that’s best served cold but if he’s a dog or she’s a bitch then their revenge may well be violent and instant, taken in the heat of the moment.

Weak people seek revenge.  Strong people forgive.  Intelligent people ignore.  ~  Einstein

The real top dogs in this world only ever seek revenge if it will give them some advantage other than destroying whomsoever betrayed them.  But a romantic / sexual partner who believes that they have been wronged will almost always try to destroy their ex.  If you don’t think that’s true then just ask anyone who has ever been stalked for weeks / months / years.

If you want to be a top dog, if you want the women, money, power, adulation, and instant gratification then all you need is to be adaptable, intelligent, educated, skilled, well-read, immoral, and unethical ~ depraved, evil, and wicked helps too.  But WTF, I managed it without resorting to most of the negative stuff, but that almost killed me.  A top dog is always a killer ~ metaphorically at least.

Some say dog eat dog, rat eat rat, and that the crocodiles always come out on top.  All I know is that success does not always come to him who waits.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the Gods strike while the iron is hot

True Love Isn’t A Deal

a calm sea never made a skilful sailor

if you survive a toxic relationship you will be stronger for it

Most relationships are deals, they arise out necessity, they arise out of wants, needs, and desires.  In these relationships, be they business related, friendships, sexual, or romantic, each person has needs, demands, requests, and expectations.  They want what they want and they want to give just enough in return to keep the relationship alive ~ if not always healthy.  These relationships are usually one-sided with one person giving much more than they receive in return.  They are about what you can get, and not at all about what you can give.  Some call these transactional relationships ~ and that’s buying and selling.

Most self-help and self-development books, podcasts, and seminars are all about how to win in a one-sided transactional relationship.

In a relationship, no amount of extra effort on your part can make up for the lack of effort on theirs.  ~  John Mark Green.

No wonder so many ‘romantic’ relationships and marriages end on the rocks.

In the average transactional relationship there are conditions around everything ~ it’s all an ‘I’ll do this if you do that…..’  And the weight of each thing that each party brings to the relationship is carefully weighed and measured.

The very sad thing is that many people don’t know any better, because they themselves are the result of this kind of dysfunctional deal making relationship.  The chances are that their parents did exactly the same kind of things that they are doing now.

Each of us has a set of hard-wired programs in our subconscious mind, and these programs dictate how we think, feel, react, and act in any given situation.  Mostly these programs are created within us before we are seven years of age, and guess who inculcates most of this stuff into our innocent subconsciousness ~ our parents.

People who come from dysfunctional families are destined for a dysfunctional life.  ~  Bo Bennet.

The tendency towards living in a dysfunctional / transactional / toxic relationship is a family illness, in the same way that a tendency towards alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling, promiscuity, and violence are family illnesses.  And you know what?  All of the above go together and can be often be found in one or both parties in most toxic relationships.

The other side of the coin to a dysfunctional / transactional / toxic relationship can only come about through both parties giving unconditional affection, acceptance, friendship, support, respect, understanding and love to themselves and each other.  And, my friends, that is very rare indeed.  Some call this a transformational relationship, and if you are lucky enough to be in that kind of situation then you have indeed found your soul-mate.

Some say that they wouldn’t trust their lying partner out of their sight for an instant.  And that their husband / wife is a controlling asshole.  All I know is that a healthy relationship is based on unconditional trust.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

happiness comes in waves

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