The great task in life is to find reality.
We make most mistakes, we suffer the most, and we do the most harm when our thoughts and beliefs differ from reality. It’s when we create stories and assumptions in our own mind which are untrue that we begin on a journey of falsehoods. And, those falsehoods lead to; alcohol abuse, drugs, eating disorders, gambling, heavy smoking, self-harm, casual sex ~ just to find temporary comfort and the illusion that our falsehoods are true. When our beliefs are untrue we can suffer from anxiety and depression, together with a host of other serious mental illnesses such as; Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. The stress of having beliefs which differ from reality causes a raft of physical illnesses, including cardiovascular problems, cancers, diabetes, dementia, and early death.
Yet, there is no such thing as reality.
Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~ Albert Einstein
It seems that in quantum physics and interpersonal relationships there is no such thing as cause and effect ~ no straight line between the past, through the present, and into the future. Even in very close relationships there are often merely shared perceptions of the world ~ and two people may both share perceptions, thoughts, and beliefs which are untrue. If alcohol, drugs, or mental illness is added into the mix then we get dangerous situations such as physical, verbal, mental abuse and co-dependency.
If your life is going down the shitter, if you are prey to addictions, if you suffer from a mental illness ~ then the chances are that your thoughts and beliefs have seriously differed from reality.
Einstein and other serious thinkers may tell us that reality is merely an illusion, BUT on a day to day basis we have to live in whatever reality surrounds us. That means seeing and accepting reality as it is, and not as we wish it to be. Reality is neutral and impersonal. Reality has no expectations and no beliefs. Reality is the true state of things. There is only one past, present, and future reality ~ it is our own perceptions and beliefs which create an infinity of different versions of the past, the present, and the possible futures.
To find true reality is both very easy and very difficult;
- be totally honest with yourself and others ~ reality is truth
- never take things personally ~ reality is impersonal
- do not make assumptions nor create expectations
Some say that reality is an illusion. And that we are all just simulations living in a matrix. All I know is that when my beliefs differed from reality I got myself into some serious trouble.
to discover your ultimate reality requires a lot of deep thought
If you don’t want the answer, then don’t ask the question.
you will never find the answer at the bottom of a glass
There are always more questions than answers, and each new answer raises more, and more difficult questions. Sometimes we don’t want to hear the answer that we get. Sometimes we shouldn’t have asked the question in the first place. And, sometimes the answer we get isn’t the truth.
Life is as simple as these three questions: What do I want? Why do I want it? And, how will I achieve it. ~ Shannon L. Adler
All of those simple questions are very difficult to answer, because either we don’t really know what we want, or if we actually get what we think we wanted, then we realise that we didn’t truly want it at all. More often than not this is the great truth of Love.
The two great questions of love are in the simple phrase; ‘She loves me ~ She loves me not…..’ As if plucking petals from a daisy could possibly answer the question of if she loves you or not. One may as well resolve one’s doubts by tossing a coin and saying; ‘heads I dump her, tails I stay with her.’ Actually, tossing a coin and asking that question does work ~ because while the coin is in the air we will decide which way we truly want the coin to fall.
Being something of a mechanic when it comes to games of chance, that tossing of a coin to get an answer doesn’t truly work for me. I can make a coin fall whichever way I like. I cheat, which isn’t truly getting an answer. My doubts about interpersonal relationships, sex, desire, and love can never be resolved by random chance.
All people have doubts, mostly everyone has the same doubts, and more often than not these doubts are troubling. Often these doubts are created in our own minds because we make assumptions based on incomplete evidence, and we take these assumptions very personally. If we stubbornly wish to be unhappy we look for evidence to prove our worst assumptions, and if we can’t find the evidence and answers to back up our assumptions, then we just create negative answers in our own mind.
My own personal doubts are created because I have an almost perfect memory, so anything anyone says to me stays in my mind, and I can build cloud castles of negative answers based on a single phrase said in passing.
Some say that if we don’t want to know the answer then we shouldn’t ask the question. And that every answer creates more, and more difficult questions. All I know is that we only ask questions when we think we already know the answers.
booze is never the answer
but it will make you forget the question
Arguing isn’t communication, it’s just hot noise.
Violence is an argument lost.
Most arguments are nothing like a reasoned debate, because usually arguments come about when two people in a relationship have completely opposing and irreconcilable views. Most arguments become heated at some point and degenerate into a flaming row ~ or turn utterly cold and vicious. Seldom does an argument tell anyone anything that they didn’t already know ~ usually arguments are circular and rehash familiar disagreements. And, no argument ever changes anyone’s mind about anything at all. In fact, arguments tend to reinforce existing views as new reasons are found for the status-quo.
Be calm in arguing for fierceness makes error a fault and truth discourtesy. ~ George Herbert
Think of this; you and your partner have opposing views, you disagree, and you argue. In that case we mostly pretend to listen and be open-minded, instead what we really do is try to find weaknesses in his / her position so we can disprove his / her argument. Or, if they’ve just put a dent in your reasoning, you are frantically thinking of some new counterpoint. Open-mindedness and reasonableness doesn’t come into it.
Denial and self-delusion also form a big part of most arguments. Even when we are totally and utterly wrong we are unlikely to admit it, even to ourselves. However, most arguments are not a clear matter or right and wrong ~ black and white is often more like multifarious shades of grey. Mostly there is some right and some wrong on both sides.
A truly calm and informative discussion of opposing views should, in theory, lead to a compromise. BUT, more often than not a compromise is just a situation that pleases neither side. Compromises often leave both sides unhappy, which will lead to future arguments over much the same ground.
Worse than a compromise is to resolve an argument by one side imposing a resolution on the other. The ‘stronger’ imposing their will upon the ‘weaker’, the richer imposing their will upon the poorer, the adult imposing their will upon the child. These false resolutions are usually unjust, which will undoubtedly create resentments, which will undoubtedly lead to more and bitterer arguments in the future.
The imposition of the Treaty of Versailles on Germany after the 1914 – 18 war inevitably resulted in WWII. World War is the ultimate of hot arguments.
Some say that they are honest, honourable, and open-minded. And, that you should always agree with them, because they are always right. All I know is that you may be right, but I don’t agree.
a short Lee-Enfield convinces most people
When you are drinking, the mood swings can be horrific.
I started drinking when I started working in the City of London in 1982. Back then, high-powered banking was a vicious trade, swimming in booze. And my drinking got worse when I began my role in International Finance in about 1990. What do you do at an airport during a four-hour layover? This has left me with a chronic alcohol problem ~ which might not be so bad if my body could still handle booze.
One strong beer will get me incredibly buzzed, and needing another drink or a dozen. It doesn’t happen often, but even once more will be one more time too many.
Even that might not be so bad if I was a happy drunk, but I’m not. If I drink I suffer from terrible mood swings ~ and horrible paranoia, depression, and aggression. I take what I hear in my own mind far too seriously and personally. Being who I am, my bad mood comes out only in words, not anything physical. I suppose that’s one saving grace.
Perhaps the mood swings come even before I take a drink.
I know that I can’t ever touch booze again, and I need to work on that.
With the help of my higher power I may just be successful.
Even one IPA is far too strong for me now.
What becomes of the broken-hearted man.
land of confusion
desire’s lost illusions
an inevitable conclusion
hit the road Jack,
and don’t look back
Poisonous people are like rattlesnakes hiding in the shadows.
Some people are naturally duplicitous and treacherous, charming and dangerous, destructive and toxic. They are snakes who lie hissing in the grass, ready to strike at their victims without warning. And yet, these snakes fool us all the time because they are also beautiful, fascinating, interesting, and seductive.
No matter how much kindness, love, and trust we offer the snake, it’s never going to repay our cherishing support with anything but venom. Snake people are naturally toxic, and the wiser man will keep his distance, limiting his contact, trying to avoid the snake’s poison as much as possible.
If you are unlucky enough to be friends with a snake, and maybe stupid and innocent enough to fall for one, be aware that they will bite the hand that feeds them, and their bite may just about destroy you. Toxic people can ruin a beautiful day, disrupt your life, torture your emotions, do a number on your self-esteem, and take every penny you have. If you know that snake then physically, mentally, and emotionally brace yourself for the ruin to come.
Snakes have an insatiable need for attention, to have the world just the way they want it, to have you behave exactly as they wish ~ while giving you little or nothing in return. They will complain, bitch, be self-righteous and demanding. Snakes never pay for much, but expect your wallet to be open all the time. And these toxic people see nothing wrong in their own bad behaviours.
Toxic snakes will usually have innumerable skeletons in their closet, have some serious personality problems, and be prone to drinking too much, gambling, smoking, occasionally taking drugs, picking up casual sexual partners in bars, being abusive….. Generally being the kind of a person it’s unwise to get close to. And yet we do, all the time.
In dealing with a toxic snake you need to be disciplined, controlled, guarded, positive ~ and preferably somewhere else at the time.
If you recognise the snake in someone you know, or are close to, then walk away. Walk far away, and never look back.
Some say that snakes are cool and fascinating. And that toxic people are just misunderstood and not at all dangerous. All I know is a snake is always nothing but a snake.
dangerous toxic snakes can be beautiful and seductive
Immorality is the natural mind-set of all politicians.
Yet another English politician is linked with using the illegal drug cocaine. This time it’s Boris Johnson, the favourite to become next leader of the conservative party ~ the once natural party of government in the United Kingdom. This is no surprise as just about every other contender for this top political job is also a proven (past or present) drug user.
Some say that using drugs in the past should not prevent someone from getting on in politics, effectively holding down a top job, and being a success. Some say that smoking pot does not indicate that the stoner is a bad person, a liar lacking in morals.
I disagree. I contend that anyone who has used cocaine is dishonest, amoral, dishonest, and unethical. To begin with, if these people have ever entered the USA, they have lied to US customs and immigration. And, I don’t want a proven liar as a potential leader of my country. But then, all politicians lie all the time, don’t they?
Some say that all drug users are also addicted to other things; alcohol, gambling, infidelity, casual sex…. All I know is that no male politician, business leader, or top public official, has ever been able to keep his dick in his trousers. In my experience most men and women who use / have used drugs are also heavy drinkers, gamblers, liars, and not averse to casual sex. But then, everyone has skeletons in their closet, don’t they?
Some say that the lawlessnes and knife crime on the streets of London can be directly linked to the non-enforcement of the UK’s drug laws by politicians and officials themselves guilty of illegal drugs use.
Some say that there is noting wrong with a dishonest, amoral, sexually promiscuous person leading a country / business / charity / law enforcement agency. And that using drugs in the past shouldn’t affect someone’s life today. All I know is that I prefer to know ethical, honest, clean and (mostly) sober people in my life
How long before we see this on our streets again?
follow your bliss and the cosmos will open doors where there were only walls
The view from my hotel balcony
Over the weekend, and for the next few days I will be attending a conference ~ retreat called Embracing Bliss in Sedona AZ. It’s spiritual / self-improvement, and I’m expecting great things as far as balancing my life is concerned.
Sadly this means that I won’t be online as much as usual. But normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Take care in the meantime.
Sedona is a beautiful town, and this is a cool hotel
As legalization spreads, more Americans are becoming heavy users of cannabis, despite its link to violence and mental illness. ~ The Wall Street Journal.
The resting place for alcoholics, bums, and drug users.
The ideas I want to share with you are considered subversive and ant-social. But subversion can be a good thing. Sometimes going against mainstream opinions is not only justified, it is necessary to counter vested interests, prejudice, error, bigotry, and bad science. If an idea or opinion is not universally accepted, that does not per se mean that the different theory is wrong. Galileo was denounced for suggesting that the Earth orbited the Sun.
There exists today an extraordinary denial of the clear links between cannabis use, mental illness, crime, and violence. For what is the real difference between pot, cocaine, heroin, and sundry other dangerous psychoactive drugs, all of which lead to the untimely death of someone?
As many Americans are regular users of dangerous psychoactive drugs as there are Americans who drink booze every day. And the cannabis used today is far stronger than it was is the 1970s, containg more than 10 times as much THC now than it did back then. ( The psychoactive ingredient of cannabis is TetraHydroCannabinoil.)
Some of the effects of THC on the brain are a lowered IQ, an increased risk of psychosis, schizophrenia, paranoia, delusions, hallucianations, losing touch with reality, reduced cognition, impaired and false memories, and a hell of a lot of ‘neural noise’. THC also totally fucks the brain’s pleasure / reward systems, suppressing self control, leading to increased appetite for food, booze, sex, more drugs…..
Using marijuana has detrimental physical effects causing breathing problems, cardiovascular dangers, intense nausea and vomiting, weight issues. If a pregnant mother uses cannabis she is seriously damaging the foetus in her womb.
Marijuana users experience; lower life satisfaction, poor mental health, poorer physical health, and serious relationship issues. These effects are very long term / permanent, even if you are / were an occasional user of this insidious drug.
Personally I would never get involved with any marijuana user, or indeed anyone who abuses drugs of any kind. And, addicts of anything are infinitely more dangerous than someone who is clean and healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
Just a couple of examples of cannabis fuelled violence: #1 the Islamic terrorists who carried out a devastating attack on innocent passers-by on London Bridge on the 3rd of June 2017 were all habitual users of marijuana, #2 the despicable youth who deliberately drove into a young girl in Utah on Friday 31st of May this year was high on a mixture of cannabis, Xanax, and booze. He killed the 11 year old girl on purpose.
Some say that marijuana is a relatively harmless drug. And, that the weed never hurt anyone. All I know is that using marijuana means that someone is going to die an untimely death.
Growing this in England is illegal,
but nobody cares anymore.
The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. ~ Albert Einstein
A vegan diet is one that excludes any food that comes from an animal, fish, or whatever. This includes eggs, dairy, meat, fish, fowl, and even things like snails and honey. A vegan diet is exclusively plant-based; vegetables, fruit, grains, soy, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Vegan diets usually usually exclude any canned or processed foods. Vegan diets are extreme.
There are far more vegan women than men. In the UK 63% of people who say they are vegan are women. Anyhow, in the UK veganism is not exactly part of the mainstream dietary culture, there are only some 542,000 self-identified vegans here, which is 1% of the population ~ and I don’t necessarily believe there’s a half-million vegans in Great Britain. I once dated a vegan, and she cheated all the time.
Dr. Richard Twine, a senior lecturer in social sciences, interviewed a shed-load of vegans and found that 73% were women and only 27% were male.
In America, that world epicentre for weird cults, fads, and fringe movements, only 3% of the population identify as vegan. Amazing, as more than half of Americans believe that alien abduction, alien visitation, and UFOs are real. Aliens probably exist.
Proper scientific studies show that true veganism can be very bad for your health, especially if you consume unhealthy plant-based food such as fruit juices, refined grains, wheat, fries, and a lot of fatty, high-calorie stuff like avocado. The recommended daily serving is just 1/3 of a medium sized avocado.
My vegan diet brought on early menopause. ~ Virpi Mikkonen
A vegan or vegetarian who consumes no animal products can be just as unhealthy as a slob who dines on nothing but burgers and beer.
Some health problems caused by a vegan diet include; leaky gut, hormone disruption, (including oestrogen and thyroid hormones), anemia, low omega-3 leading to anxiety and depression, lack of vitamin B12, (which can lead to irreversable memory loss and impaired cognitive function), lack of zinc, (which is especially vital for pregnant women), too much carbohydrate, (which leads to fatty liver, diabetes, and obesity), and eating disorders.
Personally, I don’t care so much if someone wants to be vegan or vegetarian, but I do object when they preach to me about my own omnivorous diet.
Some say they don’t eat meat because eating animal products is unethical. And that being vegan reduces their carbon footprint. All I know is that I really like a good steak.
onglet steak, a butcher’s best kept secret.