It’s never to late to be what you might have been.
Most people would like to change some things about themselves. They may want to be fitter, to lose weight, to be more successful at work, to be more successful with the opposite sex, or maybe just to lose the terrible feeling of dissatisfaction they constantly suffer from. Or it might be worse, some people want to lose their Borderline Personality Disorder, or paranoia or schizophrenia…..
One thing is certain, we can never get what we want by trying to change other people, nor by attempting to alter the way the world works. The only thing we can ever change is ourselves. But, look at the upside, when we change ourselves the whole world and everyone in it changes around us.
Reinventing ourselves into a better looking, cooler, fitter, more effective, more successful, less disturbed person is an essential process if we want to grow and flourish.
Here’s the hard thing. To reinvent yourself into the person you really want to be requires some hard choices. You need to be ready to walk away from aspects of your life in which you may have invested much time, effort, and money; the way you look, the personality you project, your existing career, unsuitable friendships, toxic relationships with the opposite sex, a dead-end marriage, the pub where you get drunk and try to get casual sex with anyone you may meet at the bar…..
Worse than that, you may have to forget and hide some of your past; the alcoholism, drug taking, criminal record, gambling, over-eating, casual sex, heavy smoking…..
Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. ~ Charles Bukowski.
To reinvent yourself and have a truly successful life, ask yourself these questions;
- What should I stop doing and thinking?
- What should I start doing, thinking, and being?
- What could and should I do less of?
- What could and should I do more of?
- What could I do, think, and be differently from who I used to be.
Reinventing yourself can be a difficult and lonely path, and it is not a one-shot deal. Truly reinventing yourself is an on-going process you will have to work at, every single day.
Some say they already have everything their heart desires. And there is nothing really wrong with them that a few days sober and clean wouldn’t put right. All I know is that denial is the greatest block to becoming a better person.
Somebody here is going to get into trouble
or maybe they both will.
.….you should stop being so carnal, and learn to say no to men. ~ Adelaja
animal anxiety ardour
benefits bitch bitterness
carnal courtesan covet
desire discontent distrust
eagerness ecstacy excitement
feelings fervour fuck
grope grasp grudge
harlot heat hussy
indignation insanity intensity
jaundiced jealousy tight jeans
karma kept kindness
libido love lust
madness mania mistrust
nonsensical nymphet nymphomaniac
obscene orgasmic outrage
paroxysm passion pleasure
rancour risqué romantic
screw sexuality shag slut
tart tolerance tramp
umbrage unhappiness urban-survival
vamp vixen vulgar
wanting whore welcoming
zeal zest zygote
she has animal demons inside her innocently carnal eyes
stroking her leg in public
some carnal women like that
When you stop expecting people to be perfect,
then you can like them for who they are.
Believing our expectations causes pain because the expectations often clash with reality ~ with life as it really is, and the future as it is meant to be. The expectation could be as simple as; I wish I didn’t have to go to the store today’ or the expectation could be powerful, such as ‘after all this I expect her to have sex with me’. It could be an utterly impossible desire, such as wanting her to exercise hard to have a better body.
Whatever the disconnect is, any time we believe a thought that says Life should be different from the way it is now, then we will really suffer. Every single time.
Have an expectation that isn’t completely under your own control, an expectation that says; ‘he / she should be different, Life should be different’, and you will get badly hurt. Take life as it is, live in the moment, and don’t ever try to change another person, and most likely you won’t be hurt ~ or not so badly. Even you cannot control the cosmos.
Some of the time we cannot even control our own thoughts, which have a tendency to drift off into fantastical flights of fancy, building castles in the clouds. Most of the time we can’t control our own bodies; we get sick, we gain weight, we start looking older….. What will happen will happen whether we like it or not ~ sometimes it’s best to pretend to like what’s happening, even if you secretly hate it. Remember the adage ‘fake it to make it’.
If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ~ Maya Angelou.
Never focus so hard on what you want that you ignore what you already have. Never believe that you can change a woman, because you can’t. And, if you can’t live with what you have, then just walk away. You certainly can never change her past.
Some say that men are quick to leave a relationship. And that they almost always return. All I know is that if you leave her, you should never, ever look back.
never date an alcoholic woman
it will not end well
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again.
This song says something important to me right now.
You cannot change anyone, unless they want to change.
some men think that there’s more than one way to fix a woman
The unbearable pain of loving a woman who does not love you.
hot heavy deep urgent
steaming locomotive breath
passions spent and now resting
she just gives it away
to whomsoever wants her
casual sex is what she desires
A liar will never be believed, even when she speaks the truth.
Everybody lies. Lies are the oil that lubricates the grinding wheels of interpersonal relationships. Most people don’t always want to be told the unvarnished truth, especially by their partner ~ for example being told that you look terrible hurts, even if it is the truth. In a 10-minute conversation the average American will tell two or three lies ~ basically people lie a lot.
There are different kinds of lies, some are small and immaterial, and some are huge, outrageous, and evil. However a lie is still a lie, even if it’s justified as a well-intentioned white lie, or it’s a lie of omission where we just don’t say anything at all about something important.
Some lies are actually criminal fraud. For example;
- lies about your qualifications and work experience on your CV
- Plagiarism, piracy, and passing-off
- creating false paperwork to obtain a loan, drivers licence, passport, etc.
- using false information to complete official forms, for example health insurance
It seems that many people are happy to live with lies like this, telling themselves that it’s just a clever way to beat the system. Do or say whatever you like, but if you go down this road your life will be a fake. And, at some point you may get into serious trouble. As an example, a contract of insurance is a contract uberrimae fidei, (of utmost good faith), if you don’t tell the whole truth on an insurance document the whole thing is null and void. Your insurance company can refuse your claims, and reclaim any past claims you have made.
If you do lie and cheat, just be ready for the consequences because eventually you will be caught out. Your fantastic house of cards will just fall apart. The thing about lying is that you can never know with certainty the risk of being discovered or the severity of the consequences. Lie in a relationship and you’ll probably get dumped. Lie in a marriage and you will probably get divorced.
Some say that there’s a fool born every minute. And that women make the best liars. All I know is that some truths are best left unsaid.
lovers often lie to each other
and to their husbands and wives
The only certainties in life are death and taxes. ~ Mark Twain
Everybody lies, and everybody lies the most to themselves. Because of my 30 years in banking and finance, I have been able to mostly avoid paying taxes through not always telling the whole truth, but death is something nobody can avoid. However, like a lot of men I’ve been lying to myself about that. It’s time I faced the truth.
Over the past few weeks I’ve come to the conclusion that I need an ‘end-of-life’ plan, so that others are not left to clear up what is left after I shuffle off this mortal coil. I never wanted to think about these morbid things, yet what I need to do over the next few weeks and months is put in place some very uncomfortable stuff.
- Contact a lawyer and write my will. I more or less know what’s going to be in it.
- With the same lawyer write a ‘living will‘. A living will is an advance decision that says I refuse certain medical treatments, even if that would lead to my death. I have no wish to spend my final days as a vegetable.
- Contact a funeral director to arrange and pay for my cremation ~ which will be a very simple affair.
- I have more money than I can sensibly spend between now and when I’m not really interested in having fun any more. Even though I’m an expert in banking and finance, the money I have, and the property I own should be better managed. I need to get on with that.
- I need a better plan for my own physical and mental health.
I never, ever wanted to think about these morbid schemes. Planning my own ‘end-of-life’ has been freaking me out. But, now that I’m determined to get on with it, things don’t seem so bad.
The greatest reward a man can leave at the end of his life is a clean and tidy death.
Be steadfast in your love, and honest in your heart.
bravery courtesy gallantry
civility chastity celibacy decency
dependability desirability dignity honesty
humility intimacy fidelity integrity loyalty morality
modesty nobility purity probity reliability sincerity veracity
immoral sexuality sensuality physicality promiscuity dishonesty
the truth of love is in a rose
A firm sense of right and wrong isn’t fashionable these days.
It seems that unless I always agree with what others think, say, and do ~ then I’m wrong, bad, reactionary, and backward. Worse than that, if I happen to think that what other people have done isn’t necessarily ethical or sensible, then somehow I’m attacking them. I’m not, I just disagree.
Look at what the majority of people are saying and doing, and do the exact opposite, and you’ll probably never go wrong for as long as you live. ~ Earl Nightingale.
Thinking and doing the opposite of what the majority is doing or has done isn’t about being different for the sake of being different. There are lots of times that agreeing with everyone else is the right thing to do. There are lots of times when the well-trodden path is the right one for me to take.
The challenge for me is to know when to take the road less travelled.
Thinking, saying, and doing the opposite of what others would have me do is quite likely to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s scary, lonely, and exposes me to the harshest criticisms. It’s never easy to be seen to be going against the grain, and ignoring the attitudes and advice of my friends, family, and wider society. But, I’m used to being uncomfortable and the odd one out.
I feel no need to justify my ethics, attitudes, and actions ~ no matter the slings and arrows of discontent thrown against me.
Doing the exact opposite of the norm, or refusing to change who and what I am, does not always achieve the results, goals, and dreams I want. But, I have discovered that just repeating what others do, or agreeing with what others think, doesn’t always work either.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein.
There are some people it would be much easier to always agree with. It would probably make me much happier just to agree with them and go along with what they like.
It isn’t going to happen.
Some say that it’s good to be liberated and do whatever you like regardless of the consequences. And, that if you don’t agree with the latest and most fashionable opinion, then you’re wrong and reactionary. All I know is that I have the strongest possible self-awareness and self-discipline, and I’m happy with that.
sometimes, a real man needs to take the road less travelled
If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed. ~ Hitler
Allegedly there are 8 types of lie ~ that is an oversimplification. I don’t believe that you can simply categorise lies. I believe that there are an infinite number of ways that we lie, and that we are lied to, and that most often we are lied to by omission. People just don’t admit to some things they don’t want us to know.
The slickest way in the world to tell a lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time ~ and then shut up. ~ Robert A. Heinlein.
The worst lies of all are those we tell to ourselves, and again mostly these are lies of omission. We refuse to remember some of the bad stuff we have done in our past, and we refuse to admit to ourselves the bad things we fully intend to do in the future. And if anyone asks us about any of that, of course we shall lie and hotly deny our past, present, and probable future sins.
Probably the biggest lie being foisted upon the world at the moment relates to the cause of the fire at the medieval cathedral of Notre-Dame de Paris, which allegedly was an accidental electrical fire, or something like that. I believe that like I believe Parisian women don’t smell of garlic and cigarettes, overlaid with lots of perfume. But if I was a Frenchman in authority, I wouldn’t want to stir up even more sectarian hatred of moslems.
But that matters not one jot. What really matters is how much of the truth we admit to ourselves, and how much of the truth are those we care for telling us.
We should stop expecting loyalty from people who won’t even give us honesty.
if you think you’re being lied to, then you probably are