if you learn self-control, you can master anything
waste in a wasteland
It’s Lent, which is all about abstinence and self-control. There doesn’t seem to be much self-discipline, self-control, or mastering difficult challenges about in the world today. Rather there seems to be a lot of neglect, waste, and self-indulgence. It’s waste of human life in a wasteland.
Addictions such as alcoholism, gambling, smoking, drug-taking, eating disorders, infidelity, and inappropriate casual sex seem to be rife ~ even among our senior politicians and bureaucrats, who are supposed to set an example to we ‘ordinary people in the street’, suffering the miseries of lockdown. I myself have had a drinking problem, but I am pleased to say that I haven’t touched a drop since Christmas. (There are none so self-righteous as a reformed addict.)
I am happy to tell you that I have learned self-discipline, self-control, and how to master difficult challenges. It wasn’t easy, but I am getting there.
All we have to learn is how to say ‘No’, especially to ourselves.
hanging around in bars is not an indication of self-control
it’s always darkest just before the dawn
Here in England I have only seen the sun this year once or twice this year. It’s cold grey and outside the garret; there’s a mixture of rain, sleet, and snow. There’s something wrong with the medication I on and I’m getting lots of unfortunate side-effects. Not thinking straight. I don’t feel at all well. I don’t feel as though there is anything or anyone for me right now. I have a call out to the doctor….
Perhaps I need a little help.
at least there is one good friend here for me
let nature decide on your sex-drive
not doctors and drugs
she should make my temperature rise
In the past when I heard of people who stopped taking their medication for schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, depression, or some other mental issue….. because the drugs made them feel like they; ‘weren’t themselves anymore’ ~ well I used to think they were being stupid.
For the past few days I’ve been taking a drug called Amlodipine to help lower what was my catastrophically high blood pressure, and it worked dramatically quickly ~ which is good. There have been some immediate side-effects ~ which is not so good. I’ve been drowsy, a bit confused and clumsy, my memory is crap. and I’ve got a constant headache. There’s another side effect; no interest whatsoever in sex, total lack of sex-drive, zero libido, and no chance at all of having an erection. I checked, one of the side effects of Amlodipine is to dramatically reduce the production of the male sex-hormone testosterone.
It feels like a very important part of my personality has been removed ~ I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m not me. And, not only do I feel weird, I don’t like it one little bit.
You might wonder how I know my sex-drive and lustful desires have disappeared, given that I’ve been in lockdown for months, and not had a date in all that time. The strange thing is I knew, and I know that my masculinity has disappeared along with the testosterone which used to flood my body. I’m not interested in women in any sexual way whatsoever, and strong sexual feelings have been with me since adolescence. Some other aspects of maleness have also gone; like I’ve lost my sense of direction ~ I don’t automatically know where North is anymore. Spacial awareness is out of the window, single-mindedness and black and white thinking has gone, and I’m finding it difficult to focus on one task at a time. I’m depressed, tired all the time, and irritable. Even my voice is changing.
Who knew that testosterone does much more to the male body than creating and increasing sexual desire and performance? (I’ve even checked this out by watching some internet porn, and nothing, zip, nada.)
Some women say that men are merely life-support systems for their penis. And that the way to a man’s heart isn’t food, it’s casual sex. All I know is that it’s horrible when a man’s masculinity vanishes.
a great body, fabulous ass, fantastic pose
what effect is that having?
Seascapes and Serenity Lost is available on Amazon
if you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple;
then you’re not really hungry, just bored
Yesterday I was diagnosed as having high blood pressure and told that I need to have a battery of tests, and prescribed some powerful medicine to help me. To help myself I need to change my lifestyle;
- eat a heart-healthy diet with less salt, less refined sugar, and less caffeine
- get my weight into the green zone body mass index, which means losing about ten pounds
- take regular exercise ~ which is a bit difficult given how much I hurt
- give up booze and smoking ~ which is OK because I’ve never smoked and haven’t taken a drink since Christmas
The type of menu I should be on includes;
From Jessica at How Sweet Eats, Shredded Citrus Brussels Sprouts Salad with Avocado and Pomegranate.
Shredded Citrus Brussels Sprouts Salad with Avocado and Pomegranate
Salmon and other oily fish are good too. A recipe by Chungah at Damn Delicious; Lemon Dill Salmon in Foil. I love these easy ‘wrapped in foil’ dishes.
Lemon Dill Salmon in Foil
And last for this morning; a collection from Delish Magazine; 33 Amazing Broccoli Recipes Even Broccoli Haters Can’t Hate. I’ve chosen to feature this Better than Takeout Beef and Broccoli.
Better than Takeout Beef and Broccoli
The Minimalist Baker
one way to get high blood pressure;
go mountain climbing over molehills
I have a home blood-pressure monitor I almost never use, except last Sunday morning I did. My blood pressure was so high, and my heart rate so low that I really should have called for an emergency ambulance right there and then. Of course being a stupid guy I didn’t ~ even though I had a stack of other warning symptoms that indicated a hypertensive emergency. Going into a hospital full of covid patients isn’t something I wanted to do.
So, with some rest, meditation, extra potassium, no salt, no caffeine, no booze, (I don’t drink anyway, nor do I smoke), and some dark chocolate my blood pressure is now just far too high and not fucking dangerous.
Today, and finally, I had my very first ever telephone conversation with a doctor.
The upshot is that I’m now on blood-pressure medication, which I expected. It’s called amlodipine and comes with a stack of nasty potential side effects. I am also being scheduled a blood test, which I half expected. What I didn’t expect it to be scheduled for an MRI and a CT scan.
It seems that I may just be a lot sicker than I thought.
Some say that high blood pressure is the silent killer. And that you can keep your blood pressure under control if you live a healthy life. All I know is that risking a stroke isn’t worth the dubious pleasures of smoking, drinking, and being overweight.
stiletto heels are enough to give me high blood pressure
your intellect may be confused, but your emotions never lie
some things are guaranteed to get you into deep shit
Rather a lot has happened this year. Beginning on my birthday the whole of England was condemned to various degrees of house arrest. We are now in Lockdown Day 256, almost nine months that the whole country has been in suspended animation. Probably for no good reason whatsoever the government has spent £394 billion of our money trying to stop a non-existent pandemic of the COVID-19 virus.
Nobody has been allowed to visit with anybody, and heaven forefend that you might want to make out with somebody you don’t live with 24/7. Here in England sex is just about forbidden ~ unless you are a member of the government that is.
We are not allowed to go anywhere, especially we English are not allowed to enter The Peoples Democratic Republic of Wales. Scotland is out of bounds for us Sassenachs too, but who in their right mind want to have anything to do with a country run by the wee ginger krankie? The Scots must be totally confused as they try to convince their heads of things their hearts know is a bunch of lies.
The police here have turned themselves into a cross between the East German Stasi and the Gestapo. Having a dozen of the boys in blue band together to arrest an innocent elderly lady for standing by the Houses of Parliament’s railings must be such fun for them. Mind you, they all acted like craven cowards when confronted with BLM protesters. Of all the crazy police forces in England the North Yorkshire Police have gone the furthest in coronavirus insanity. They are using automated licence plate recognition systems to identify and stop people from tier 3 areas entering their tier 2 Garden of Eden.
Every single politician and government official has shown themselves up for the ignorant buffoons they are. Gavin Williamson, England’s minister for education is the latest idiot, he managed to insult the whole world in a radio interview he gave about our early roll-out of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine. BTW, that stuff is mostly untested, and nobody has a
fucking clue about the long-term effects of this jab. You’d have to be crazy to have it. After you Boris.
And Boris Johnson, our ineffectual Prime Minister, has lost the plot. He is so in thrall to his current squeeze Ms Carrie Symonds that his government is set to adopt all of her mad ocean conservation, save the planet, green eco-warrior ideas. For example, all petrol, diesel, and hybrid cars and vans will be totally banned here from 2030. Really? How’s that going to work?
Meanwhile all pubs, clubs, bars, restaurants, are shut, by order.
You couldn’t make it up.
Boris and Carrie
the odd couple
no vaccine is a magic bullet
All over the media is the ‘good news’ that there will soon be an effective and properly tested vaccination against the coronavirus that will give up to 90% protection against becoming ill. It won’t stop anyone from catching the virus, but if you do catch it, then you shouldn’t get very sick because your body already has already been trained to recogise and combat COVID-19.
And the science on vaccines is settled ~ they are both safe and effective. Actually no. Anyone who says that; ‘the science is settled’ knows dick-all about science. Science is never finished, settled, nor complete. As our knowledge expands and progresses so good scientists go back and take another look at old truths, maxims, and proofs. Sometimes they discover things that startle and frighten them. To give you an easy example; Pythagoras Theorem is mostly wrong ~ it only works all the time if the Earth is flat.
So, when the pharmaceutical industry, doctors, the government, and the media tell you that vaccines are safe, and the new coronavirus vaccine is completely safe and 90% effective, do you actually trust them? Do you trust drugs giant Pfizer, (who also make Viagra), who are set to make billions of $ from their new vaccine? Do you trust the people who might give you the couple of jabs you will need to have kept the vaccine at an even 70 degrees below zero? As it goes I trust none of the above.
Vaccination is the holy grail of medicine, and anyone who challenges its safety will be ignored, denigrated, ridiculed, and howled down. For the medical professions, vaccination is power, and power corrupts.
One reason that vaccines are unsafe is that they have stuff in them other than an attenuated version of the virus, because if that’s all you got the vaccine wouldn’t work at all. So vaccines have accelerators, (adjuvants), in them to strengthen the body’s response to the vaccine. Until quite recently mercury was used, now it’s mostly aluminium. These adjuvents are dangerous.
What vaccines are supposed to do are produce immune responses in appropriate cells. Vaccines affect every cell in your body, altering your DNA / RNA ~ and not always in a good way. There are things called telomeres on the ends of your chromosomes, and vaccines shorten these telomeres. So what? When your cells’ telmomeres are too short, you die.
This is a short post about a long and complicated topic. If you want to know more research it, but not on Google ~ the people involved with Google are set to make further fortunes from the coronavirus vaccines.
Personally, I will be last in line to be vaccinated against anything ~ the coronavirus especially.
there’s a reason for the ‘mad scientist’ paradigm
you cannot fix something if you don’t know it’s broken
Each and every one of us is programmed ~ what we think, what we believe, how we behave, what we like and what we dislike are automatic responses, programmed reactions and actions buried deep in our subconscious. Our conscious minds only govern what we do about 10% of the time, and most of the time what our conscious minds do, think, and feel is based on all that stuff way down in our unconsciousness. So, if you are scared of snakes, it isn’t a conscious thing, it’s actually a primeval race-memory so far down in your subconscious you don’t even know it’s there until the first time you come across a serpent.
If you have problems in your life, if you can’t handle certain situations, if you keep lurching from one disastrous relationship to another, then you are not consciously doing that on purpose. A string of dysfunctional relationships in your past, and the likelihood that you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again in the future, means that there is something dysfunctional with the tapes in your unconscious mind.
The scary thing is that all that programming, all of your beliefs, behaviors, and opinions were put there before you were seven years old. The adults in your life; your parents, your wider family, older siblings, teachers impressed their thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits, and prejudices upon your unformed mind while you were still a child. And there was nothing whatsoever you could do about it. Ergo, if you are a borderline alcoholic, drug addict, a heavy smoker, or obese ~ it’s not all your own fault. If you’re promiscuous, dishonest, and continually finding yourself in toxic relationships, then that’s not completely your fault either. It’s because you were taught all those things when you didn’t know any better.
Before I was five years old I was taught that women are lying bitches, and that men who have anything to do with women are bad. I was taught that sex is nasty, dirty, and wrong. I was taught that love is meaningless, that interpersonal relationships are always toxic, and that sex outside of marriage is a sin that will send me to hell. I know who did that to me.
It took me right up until a few days ago to realise this, to truly know what was broken in me. Right up until a few days ago my life was dysfunctional, I was unable to have a stable relationship, I couldn’t ever be truly open, honest, trusting, or loving. My life was toxic. I drank to much to escape the way I always acted and reacted.
If that is anything like you, then look deep within to find out what is broken in you. Then, when you know what’s broken you might have some chance of fixing it. Be like me and kill the snake in your mind.
it wasn’t all her own fault that Red Riding Hood liked wolves just a little too much
true happiness means getting enough good sleep
insomnia is subtle torture
Sleeping well is vitally important to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Conversely, insomnia is stressful and will eventually make you ill.
Scientific surveys tell us that most people require between 6 and 8 hours of good sleep every night.
You can’t store sleep up in advance, but you can make up for lost sleep afterwards.
For good sleep you should go to bed at the same time every evening, and get up at the same time every morning.
Sleep medication only works for a little while. One should never take sleep aids for longer than a couple of weeks.
Smokers will never get a settled night’s sleep until months after they quit.
Booze may send you to sleep, but thereafter it ruins your night’s rest. Drinkers will never get a settled night’s sleep until they have had a little sobriety.
Drinkers will tend to have vivid and sometimes disturbing dreams.
Caffine in coffee or tea has very little effect on sleep.
Eating late at night will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep. Don’t eat within two hours of going to bed.
The blue light from your phone or tablet will stop you from falling into deep REM sleep, the kind of sleep we all need.
Watching TV in your bedroom late into the night will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.
A lack of real daylight during waking hours will prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep.
Plenty of fresh air and exercise during the day promotes good sleep.
Bedrooms should be cool, dark, and quiet.
Your subconscious mind should associate your bedroom with only two things; sleep and sex.
Some say they can get by on 2 or 3 hours sleep a night. And that the only time they have problems is when they are trying to sleep. All I know is that early to bed and early to rise make one healthy, wealthy, and wise.
don’t spend too long gazing at the moon
that’s for lunatics