Staying Friends
there is a reason they are an ex
drinking to forget never works
Relationships break up for good reasons, and usually it isn’t because partners have stopped being friends. Couples usually separate because somebody is lying, cheating, stealing, abusive, or disinterested.
Yet, there is a myth that a man and a woman can stay friends after their romance is over. In some cases that’s dangerous, in some cases it’s deluded, but in most cases it’s wishful thinking. If they dislike each other enough to separate, why would they want to stay friends afterwards?
It seems that there are some real reasons for maintaining contact and cordial relations with your ex;
- You still want sex.
- Remembering only the good times. If you dated someone more than once, if you had a long-term relationship, there must be some good memories.
- Convenience. There might be some things your ex was really good at, he might be the world’s best mechanic, or she might still do your taxes.
- Children.
- Shared friends. Although in a break-up friends usually take sides, and mostly your friends will take the woman’s side.
- Shared addictions. If you are both boozers, using the same bar, chances are you will often sleep together after a break-up. But, if you are a woman, hanging out in a bar means that having a meaningful relationship gets further and further away every time…..
But if you hated your ex enough to wreck their apartment, trash their car, delete them from your phone and computer, and bad mouth them to any ‘friends’ you still have, why would you ever want to see them again?
It’s because of familiarity; Better the Devil you know then the Devil you don’t.
Anyhow, just because you are still ‘friends’ with your ex, doesn’t mean that you ever need to speak with them or see them ever again ~ until you really, really need to.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
hanging out in bars gives a woman a reputation as an easy ‘date’
Not Being a Better Man
ask not what others can do for you
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follow the money
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what’s in it or me?
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she will never know
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everyone has affairs
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everybody likes strippers
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so, what do I get out of this?
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how can I get away with this?
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so I watch a lot of porn, so what?
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I don’t do her anniversaries and birthdays
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
just one little drink won’t hurt
Signs that He’s a Jerk
there are lots of weirdos and jerks out there
that doesn’t mean you have to date one
he’s a politician
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he’s married with kids
and often sees other women
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he talks about himself too much
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he constantly talks over you in public
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he makes no effort to look good for you
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he’d rather watch porn than be with you
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he expects you to pay your half of the check
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he’s flaky, ghosts you, vanishes with no explanation
won’t let you call him at home
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he’s a manipulator, steals from you, lies to you, is often angry
makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
he drinks a lot
Songs on Saturday ~ Maneater
don’t compare her to other women
because she’s one of a kind
Following my post earlier today, https://jackcollier7.com/2021/05/29/songs-on-saturday-rich-girl/ this Hall & Oates song is for the same girl.
Often very rich and very attractive girls have known a lot of men.
Not necessarily in the biblical sense.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
and thereby hangs a tale
Scenes on Sunday ~ Women with a Past
a woman with a past is still someone’s future
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
the past was not always pleasant
sometimes it’s best forgotten
Rejection in Relationships
a healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down
misery is never acceptable
Who here has never been dumped? I have, more than once, and it hurts. However, I firmly believe that what hurts worse than being rejected and dumped is being rejected by your spouse or partner while the relationship goes on between you. You are still mostly living together, but that’s the most you can say of it. You may even be having sex, but it’s lacking in intimacy and is nothing more than satisfying some animal lust. Bad sex is worse than no sex at all, and in a toxic relationship sex is all about power.
Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. ~ Oscar Wilde
Some signs of being rejected inside a relationship are that you avoid being together, you hardly ever talk and when you do there is no real communication, communication descends into arguments, recriminations, and raised voices, you don’t trust your partner at all, one of you drinks far too much, and the chances are that you are being cheated on. Anyhow, if your partner is rejecting you then you already know. Being rejected can hurt for a while, being rejected inside a relationship makes you miserable forever, or until you find the courage to walk out.
If you don’t trust your partner / spouse, if you don’t let them anywhere near your money, if you go to counseling alone or to a 12 step group, if you are being mentally, psychologically or physically abused, if you feel like a doormat, if you are always walking on eggshells ~ then it’s time to have an escape plan. The thing is that, anyone who can subject someone they profess to care for to the misery of rejection is themselves a deeply damaged person. In psychology Anti-Social has some very specific meanings, it describes someone who has no conscience, no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, no guilt. Anti-Social people are promiscuous, often abuse alcohol and drugs, they cheat and steal, are narcissistic, and often they will break the law; things like petty theft or driving under the influence. Someone who will reject their partner or spouse is deeply Anti-Social.
And beware because simple rejection can escalate into Gaslighting, a form of extreme psychological abuse. If you suffer from anxiety, depression, question your own sanity ~ then you are being gaslighted. If that is you, and you sometimes fear for your own safety, or even your own life, then it’s not time to walk away, it’s time to run.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
feeling like a prisoner is never acceptable
Freedom
’emergencies’ have always been the pretext on which individual liberty has been eroded
the only casual sex allowed is phone sex
Here in England it’s Day 380 of the national coronavirus lockdown, and now that there may be some signs that some of the restrictions may be lifted in the foreseeable future, it is worth remembering just what has been taken away from us.
Just to focus on three of our inalienable rights;
- Freedom of Association. All through this lockdown we have been prohibited from meeting our friends and families. Two women sharing walk and a cup of coffee were arrested for ‘breaking the spirit of lockdown’. A lady was arrested just for being outside the care home of her elderly father. And while the Black Lives Matter ‘protests’ were allowed to go ahead, every other public gathering of more than six people was treated as a riot by our increasingly heavy handed police. Schools, Universities, and Churches have been closed, as have all other possible meeting places. Extramarital sex is out of the question unless you are part of the ‘governing elite.’
- Freedom of Movement. We have been told not to to go anywhere unless it was absolutely essential, not to leave home, not to travel more than a dozen miles from home, not to go to work unless you couldn’t possibly work from home….., and our increasingly Gestapo-like police force have happily arrested anyone seemingly breaking the rules. Airlines have been grounded, Wales and Scotland closed their borders, and do not even think about attempting to travel to the USA.
- Freedom of Trade. Apart from some ‘essential’ food stores and pharmacies, everything has been shut. Factories have been lying idle because nobody could buy anything they made. Agriculture has been badly hit because farm workers were told to stay at home, or in the case of ‘foreign casual labourers’ weren’t even allowed into the UK. And, of course, any business where people could gather together has been closed for the duration. Forget getting a pint with your mates down the pub.
Some say that losing our freedom was a necessary part of staying safe and protecting the Health Service. And that those who complained should be gagged. (Well, there goes Freedom of Speech.) All I know is that we have all lost more than just our basic liberties to combat a mild ‘flu epidemic.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
all doors have been firmly closed
by order of some power-mad unelected officials
Mercurial Me
subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood
what’s behind you doesn’t matter
There’s another definition of mercurial which is someone who is clever, confident, lively, and quick; the archetypal Type A personality. Both of the above are pretty accurate descriptions of who I am. I am also an Ares; passionate, intense, instinctive, aggressive, physical, unpredictable, a black-and-white, here-and-now, straight-line thinker. You might gather that I don’t like settling for second best. You might not think that I have a great sense of humour and a wicked laugh.
In the past I used to like things quick and dirty, but that was because I had no inherited wisdom, no role models to look back on, and very little fear of failure. I learned the hard way that walking blindly into the swamp to slay a dragon wasn’t always the best way to go about things. I learned very fast that casual sex is sordid. Acting on impulse has usually ended in big trouble for me.
I used to have an uncontrollable and sudden temper, which fortunately always passed just as quickly as it came upon me. These days I’ve learned to count to ten, and then ten again, before letting anger and frustration get the better of me. (Actually after counting to 20 I’m usually bored with being annoyed.) However, one hangover from those bad old days is that to this day I never forget and never forgive.
My standards are very high, some would say impossibly so. I am judgmental, I measure myself harshly and I judge others just as severely. Perhaps that’s because I am intelligent, dynamic, quick, and confident enough to see the slow mediocrity in others. Because I am utterly honorable and honest I despise liars, especially those who lie by sly omission.
Why am I telling you this? Because my birthday was just a couple of days ago, and now we are into my star-sign of Ares it seemed a good moment to remind myself of just who I am. A man who likes the passionate joy of the chase as much as the conquest. A man who lives a great life to the fullest, even during this fucking lockdown. (BTW, I get very upset if a woman ever used the ‘F’ word in public.)
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I know about astronomy
and astral navigation too
Food on Friday ~ Booze
I used to drink so much vodka that I had a Russian accent
Russian Slut Cocktail
26 ounce bottle of Smirnoff Black Label Vodka
Soda
Mint Leaves
Ice
One Gallon Jug
Pour the vodka into the jug over a couple of handfuls of ice, go into the yard, tear a handful of mint leaves and toss them in the jug, drive to the nearest place that has a soda fountain, fill the jug with whatever soda you like, go home, stir the jug, and drink with not more than a couple of casual friends, (of any sex). Enjoy. Repeat for as long as one of you can walk. What else you do while you’re drinking depends on how much of a Russian Slut you’ve become.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
eventually, you may forget the mint
and the ice
How To Do Anything
first of all stop being a willing victim
if that’s you then perhaps you need to change
The first step in my total makeover plan New Age ~ New Me is giving up alcohol; or to say it a better way Living a Sober Life. If you misuse and abuse any substance; alcohol, drugs, prescription medication, over the counter medication, sugar, tobacco….. then your life revolves around that and it’s almost impossible to do anything else that matters a damn. And trust me, if you drink, smoke, or take drugs ~ then whatever you think or believe you are an addict. The same goes if you gamble, are promiscuous, steal, cheat, lie….. you are an addict and a victim of your own need for instant gratification.
If you ever want to be better, to become self-aware, self-controlled, self-disciplined, empowered, and truly happy, then first of all you have to give up your addictions. No that’s not true, first of all you truly have to admit to yourself that you have a problem. Only when you really believe that you need to give up hanging around in bars, or drinking a bottle of wine at home every night, or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day can you begin to become a better version of yourself.
And giving up isn’t easy. For years I was a binge-drinker ~ every time I got upset, unhappy, or dissatisfied I would retreat into a bottle of booze to make myself feel better. It never worked. And yet I haven’t touched a drop since Christmas last year.
Here’s how did I did that;
- I came to believe that booze was ruining my life.
- I made a decision to stop drinking alcohol.
- I stopped buying and drinking booze.
It was an instant decision followed by instant action; and I believe that it has to be that way. There has been no help, no 12 step group, no counselors, no complicated programs, no tricks, no searching the internet to find an easy way to be sober, no anything ~ just me and some self-discipline. It’s easy; decide to stop whatever destructive behaviour gives you instant gratification, and then stop.
Except we know that it isn’t easy at all ~ it’s fucking hard.
But what would I rather become? A drooling incontinent who lives just for the next drink? Or a self-aware Renaissance Man who lives a very full and rewarding life?
So, every hour of every day I stay away from that first drink.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
the things you think you like the most
are the things that will ruin your life
and then kill you
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