If I Was There Right Now…
For my sins, I often talk to a supposedly close friend at the telephone, and more often than not she will also be looking at things she finds interesting on her cell, tablet, PC… Do I find this rude and annoying? Of course I do. It annoys me intensely. To use an Americanism, I get pissed. And then, I often see couples out on a date, and one or both will spend more time looking at their cell phone than they will having a conversation with their actual date. More often than not the person spending the most time-wasting their time online will be the woman, and not the guy, unless he’s a metrosexual wazzock.
Is this because the woman in question finds their guy boring and uninteresting? How the hell do I know what women think? I’m just an average guy, trying to be polite, charming, gentlemanly, friendly, nice. Would I ever go online when I’m talking with a girl by telephone, or in person? Of course not. It’s rude, it’s impolite, and it’s disrespectful to give the major part of your attention, or even any part of your attention, to your cell when you’re supposed to be with the guy you’re with.
These days everyone, (except me), has their cell phones with them all the time, perhaps on the table at dinner, occasionally intruding into the conversation, and eventually disrupting their relationship.
Just the obvious presence of a cell phone will disrupt real relationships. People use mobile devices to stay connected to people who they are not near. A cell phone at the table means that a person’s entire social network is in the room. The phone diverts attention from the person you are supposed to be with to some sad jerk in Kansas City. And you know what? That’s fucking annoying.
Call me old-fashioned, but I also despise the use of text / internet acronyms and abbreviations, What the fuck is DGMW supposed to mean? And LOL, TTYL, and WTF?
If a woman I’m with wants to devote some of her attention to her acquaintances, colleagues, friends, family, interests, social circle, on her cell phone or tablet, that’s fine. If her cell phone is more important to her than I am, that’s OK too. I may just decide that she’s not so important to me, that she can fuck off, get lost, please don’t keep in touch, don’t let the door hit you on the way out..
The next time it’s obvious to me that the person with whom I’m trying to have a real conversation is also online / looking at her cell then we’re done. FO&HAND.
Do you want to date a girl who has internet relationship with other guys? Me neither.
Life is too short to waste it on an internet snowflake.
There is a warrior’s path to the end of suffering.
In my life I have been lost, often alone, and sometimes in pain. I have been down and disappointed, I have been beaten by misfortune, I’ve been so tired and despairing I could not eat or sleep, I’ve been crushed by unrequited love, I wanted things that were always out of reach, and I was so lonely I cried bitter tears. Then I found a guiding star to wish to, and that bright star led me to a good place of freedom from pain and suffering. Now I can cross broad oceans, climb tall mountains, see the far horizons.
Now I can experience true friendship and real love.
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards, and leads us from this world to another. ~ Plato
You too can find your star to wish upon and to follow, if only you are prepared to search both the heavens and deep within yourself.
In the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy a supercomputer reveals that the ultimate answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything is 42.
The answer to the Great Question… Of Life, the Universe, and Everything… Is… Forty-Two. ~ Deep Thought
This was meant as a joke, 42 was just a random number picked out of thin air by Douglas Adams, the author of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Allegedly. However it turns out that the number forty-two has symbolism and special meanings in a whole raft of philosophies, religions, and magical convictions. Forty-two is a highly symbolic number slipped into a work of fiction, seemingly by accident, or coincidence.
However, despite what some may say, there is an answer, a simple answer to Life.
If we are to believe numerology then 42 is an Angel Number, and the energies of this number bring us an inner-wisdom to help us pursue our Life Purpose. To pursue your Life Purpose, then first you must realise that the true purpose of your life is to live and to grow ~ to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually, in health and happiness. That may be a long, long way from where you find yourself right now.
In order to get to where you want to go, you first have to know two things;
- Exactly where you are right now.
- Exactly where it is you want to get to.
You don’t need to know the road in-between, that will become only too apparent on your journey to your ultimate truth.
If you are anything like I used to be, then where you are right now could be unhealthy, unsatisfying, and depressing. There may be no real joy and happiness in your life. You may see no way out, even though you have sought relief and escape through religion, inspirational books, motivational speakers, support groups, counsellors, psychologists, doctors, medication, booze, street drugs, gambling, casual sex…
None of those escape routes will work for long, and the consequences of some methods of escape from hard reality just make things much worse. I know, before I found my own ultimate truth, my own warrior’s path, I tried just about every quick fix there is.
There are more false prophets than there are those inspired by an ultimate truth.
Taking the wrong road through self-destructive behaviour leads to one rock-bottom after another, and each new rock-bottom is worse than the one before.
There are no quick fixes in Life, and nobody can fix you but you.
The Ultimate Truth is this; Life is Difficult and Painful.
Once you are prepared to recognise that truth, once you are prepared to accept, appreciate, and understand that Life is Difficult and Painful, then you can transcend all pain and suffering. You can take your first step on the warrior’s path to freedom from desolation and misery.
The first step in any journey is always the hardest. It will mean uncertainty, leaving your comfort zone, doing things that seem unnatural, and at first it may seem just as painful as the misery you’re trying to leave behind. But, you have to know this ~ follow the warrior’s path and things will get better. Your life will become even better than you could ever have imagined it could be.
The first step is to recognise and accept that you are the cause of your own unhappiness. Whatever the proximate cause of your misery and unhappiness, be it alcoholism, gambling, an abusive relationship, or whatever is your personal purgatory, the ultimate cause of your pain is your own need for instant gratification. We must to accept that the causes of all our problems and unhappiness are our own cravings, desires, wants, lusts, needs, and our blaming of others when things don’t go the way we want them to.
Self-discipline is hard, it means not taking that next drink, not having that next cigarette, not overeating, not placing our happiness in the hands of another. Self-discipline means turning up for work on time, getting enough good quality sleep, getting enough fresh air and exercise. Self-discipline means not blaming others for our misfortunes, not spending money we don’t have, not allowing ourselves to become infatuated with someone who will never truly return our affections. Self-discipline is what will free you from pain, misery, and the teachings of false prophets.
You don’t need the hurt anymore, and you don’t need the pain in your life. I promise you that if you accept and understand that you can’t ever change what happens to you, but you can change what you do, then your shadows will turn into warm sunlight. Don’t ever allow yourself to give in to your craving for instant gratification, have the patience to appreciate, accept,and understand yourself, trust in yourself and not in others, and your life will get better. Your whole life will improve very fast, and it will be better than you have ever dreamed possible.
Marijuana is addictive. Marijuana eases pain.
Among all the alternative truths, fake news, denial, and propaganda aimed at the legalisation of cannabis / pot / marijuana are a couple of recent reports by ‘real scientists and doctors’ which clearly show that marijuana is quite likely to ruin your health, destroy your quality of life, and quite possibly kill you.
The first report compiled by the National Inpatient Study in the USA shows that marijuana use significantly increases your risk of suffering a stroke and / or heart failure, as well as exacerbating some other factors known to increase significantly cardiovascular disease including; obesity, alcoholism, high blood pressure, and smoking tobacco.
Meanwhile, a report by the Institute of Living in Connecticut, clearly shows that marijuana use makes young people stupid ~ especially when combined with booze. Of the people I know who use marijuana, ALL of them are also heavy drinkers, bordering on alcoholism. Honestly, I do not ever want to be around anyone who uses this stupid drug for recreational reasons.
Also in the USA, Narconon states that marijuana use significantly increases the risk of road traffic accidents, accidents in the home and workplace, psychosis, and schizophrenia. In fact, the chances are than anyone you know who suffers from schizophrenia has been a heavy user of marijuana at some time in their lives.
It’s well know that marijuana makes people have mental time and space distortions, poor coordination, impaired communication skills, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and terrible cognitive skills. The effects of the drug can last up to four weeks, so anyone who has used marijuana in the last four weeks shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the need to make important decisions. Anyone who has made an important decision within four weeks of using cannabis should seriously think again.
Despite what the proponents of marijuana use might say, marijuana is addictive. One in 11 people who smoke cannabis will become addicted, rising to one in six if marijuana use starts in adolescence. However, addiction is a complex problem, with multiple addictions being the most common way that lives are destroyed. Any regular user of marijuana probably also drinks, smokes tobacco, gambles, binge eats, and is most likely addicted to all of those life-destroying habits and more. There is a strong chance that anyone with multiple addictions / an addictive personality, is also suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, and should seek immediate medical treatment. (This is unlikely because most who are addicted, or suffer from borderline personality disorder, will be in the last stages of denial.)
Other downsides of cannabis use; it stinks worse than tobacco, causes lung cancer and other cancers just like tobacco, can cost you a fortune, and used anywhere that it’s illegal or against workplace regulations can land you in serious trouble. Using marijuana isn’t cool in any way, shape, or form, because it makes you talk and act like a deranged fool.
However, in the USA this addictive drug is now legal for recreational use in; Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, and Washington DC ~ mostly left-leaning Democrat states. Cannabis is still illegal in Great Britain, but the police take so little notice that you’d have to be growing and selling the stuff in industrial quantities to get into any trouble from the law. Urban left-leaning liberals are very keen to have pot legalised in the United Kingdom ~ the fools.
There is some strong evidence that the medicinal use of marijuana can alleviate the symptoms of some very nasty diseases, mostly reducing nausea and pain, but the medical effects have not been properly tested in the way that a new, mainstream drug would be tested before being allowed anywhere near patients.
Using marijuana is incredibly stupid. Personally, I think you would have to be seriously loose of a few screws in the brain to go anywhere near this noxious weed. Personally, I have enough problems without ever going anywhere near cannabis or a cannabis user. Unless I was in severe pain, and the weed was the only way I could get through the day.
Have fun, smoke cannabis, and cure or kill yourself. Have a nice day.
a fool and his money are soon parted
If you want to lose money really fast, or just guarantee that you will go broke eventually, then here are some brilliant ideas for you;
- Online Gambling. Gambling in any form ~ from playing the slots in Las Vegas, to betting on horse racing at a high-street bookmaker in England ~ is guaranteed to lose you as much money as you like. All those attractive online gambling sites just allow you to lose your money with 24/7 dedication from the comfort of your own home / office / car… Online Forex Trading is just another form of gambling ~ you will lose loads of money.
- Forex Trading. The foreign exchange market exists for some very sensible reasons ~ it allows me to pay for a hotel stay in Wyoming, (priced in $), on my English credit card, (denominated in £). Unecessary trading on the the Forex Market also allows idiots to risk vast amounts of money, and then inevitably lose it. I’m an expert in all this stuff, and it would take me a week to teach you the basics, so just trust me, you will lose if you go online trading. Even companies like Rolls Royce get burned, (lately to the tune of £4 billion), due to unecessarily hedging the Forex Market.
- Expensive New Cars. A hot set of wheels might boost your ego, get you a hot date, and it will also lose you a fortune. Almost all cars depreciate over time, and some high-status cars depreciate at an horrific rate. Add in the high cost on insuring your new car, and the good chance that you’ll crash the thing if you ever drive it hard, and an expensive new car can be a real money pit. Best of all, get drunk, drive really fast, and then roll your car down a freeway embankment. By the way, never believe a car salesperson, all sales people are professional liars, and I should know because I used to be one.
- Online Dating. If your expensive new car hasn’t got you a real date, you could be a totally insane pathetic loser and try online dating as well. Online dating isn’t cheap, both in terms of money and time. And, it’s one of most dangerous things you can do, for example both human and robot scammers target the sad people who use online dating sites. Or, you could get used, abused, robbed, raped, or dead. If you just want to ruin your life, the get yourself addicted to paid online porn.
- Dangerous Drugs. I include here; street drugs including marijuana, prescription drugs, party drugs, legal highs, tobacco, and booze. To really waste a great deal of money while ruining your health and your life along the way, then get into everything at once. Best of all get buzzed and go on the internet with your credit cards to hand. Do not go near 12 step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous.
There are some other brilliant ways to go broke fast; trophy wife, mistress, toyboy, high-class hookers, marrying a foreigner, getting sick abroad without proper insurance, buying a home without having a full survey, signing things you don’t understand, and perhaps best of all guaranteed get rich quick schemes.
If you really throw yourself into the above activities, not only could you lose all the money you have, you could also get yourself heavily into debt with some nasty people. Along the way you are very likely to lose your self-respect, job, real friends, home, family, health, and maybe your life. If you want to go downhill really, really fast, then I recommend you start at #5 and work your way upwards.
Most of you will never get as far as #1 because you’ll be on the streets, in jail, or dead long before that. If you work diligently at #5 you could be dead broke and dead in a couple of years.
Good luck with totally ruining your life by getting heavily into any of the above financially stupid moves.
these thoughts are mine, and mine alone
Jaguar or Bus?
Valentine’s lovemaking in my sports car
Sweetheart, that was not ever going to be us
I’d never take our first conversation quite so far
but, I’d rather make love in a Jaguar than on a bus.
words and pictures by jack collier
long distance love affair
wondering if she does care
some may even say it isn’t fair
and feelings are too hard to bear
she’s just some chick way over there
all I know is my heart’s going nowhere
a new day has come, and life is in the air
words and pictures by jack collier
The Greatest Gift You Can Give the World is a Healthy You.
Sometime around the first century AD, Roman poet Juvenal, (Decimus lunius luvenalis), wrote this;
you should pray for a healthy mind in a healthy body
ask for a stout heart that has no fear of death
and deems length of days the least of nature’s gifts
that can endure any kind of toil
that knows neither wrath nor desire and thinks
the woes and hard labours of Hercules
better than the loves and banquets and downy cushions of sloth
what I commend to you, you can give to yourself
for assuredly, the only road to a life of peace is virtue.
Except Juvenal wrote it in Latin, and he wrote Sardanapalus, not sloth. It actually rhymes much better in Latin. This is from where we get the phrase ~ mens sana in corpore sano ~ a sound mind in a sound body.
To me, this reads a lot like Kipling, who was also very adept at giving good advice to young men; for example in his seminal poem IF Kipling explains what it takes to be a Man. Sir Henry Newbolt with Vitai Lampada, gave a more inspirational lead. But for hard advice the Maxims to Guide a Young Man, which appeared in the 1850’s maybe says it all. After a long career in banking, my personal advice to a young man echoes Shakespeare’s from Hamlet; Neither a borrower nor a lender be…
Even two thousand years later Juvenal’s advice is sound. He’s telling us not to lay about eating, drinking, having sex, (all things that the ancient Romans excelled at), but instead live an energetic life of courage, self-discipline, and virtue. Every great teacher before and since, including Jesus Christ and the Buddha, says more or less the same things. The Noble Eightfold Path could have come straight from Juvenal.
Life is difficult and painful. The way to freedom from pain lies in courage, hard work, and self-discipline. And by the way, don’t get cynical, envious, impatient, apathetic, or angry along the way ~ these negative emotions will not serve you well.
Neither in a man nor a woman is negativity a pretty sight
There Is A Sunlit Garden Just Ahead.
For almost as long as I can remember, and I can remember a long, long way back, I have felt odd, weird, strange, different, unhappy. I used to suffer from extreme mood swings, I had a morbid fear of abandonment, every relationship I’d ever had was dysfunctional, I would isolate myself for long periods, and I could do strange and ‘dangerous’ things on just a whim. Not to mention that I took to relieving the anxiety and stress I suffered from by self-medicating with too much booze.
In short, I had just about every symptom there is of a quite serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder. Of course, I didn’t know I had BPD, well mostly you don’t, why would you? How can you self-diagnose BPD, when you haven’t even heard of it? Anyway, I thought perhaps I was bipolar ~ I wasn’t.
My awareness came because I want to see a counsellor about my alcohol problem. Over several months Sue got to know me quite well. She didn’t say that I had Borderline Personality Disorder, she mentioned a book to me, a book called I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, which just about summed up the way I used to feel about every woman I’d ever had a relationship with.
I was prompted to take on-line tests for Borderline Personality Disorder to see if there was a real likelihood that I was suffering from this horrible psychological illness. Each and every time I came out at the red end of the scale. I fully accepted and embraced these results. This was the beginning of my recovery. When I knew and fully accepted what was wrong with me I could start to heal myself ~ with the help of others.
My problem probably started at birth, (many psychological problems seem to start at birth). I was small, premature, separated from my mother, and placed in an incubator for many days, (so I’m told). I never, ever bonded with mt mother. I did bond with my maternal grandmother, and never understood or got over her death when I was about four-and-three-quarters years old.
A major part of my recovery was recognising these early trauma. Eventually, I wrote a letter to myself, aged four-and-three-quarters, and that was a very traumatic and very healing process.
Being very honest and open with my counsellor, my doctor, and a trusted friend helped me enormously. My doctor even arranged for me to see a psychiatrist, a specialist in BPD. After three long and gruelling assessments this guy said that I had been suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, but that I had mostly cured myself. Well, thanks very much for that vote of confidence. (A little English irony there.)
How did I manage this remarkable recovery?
- I fully accepted that I had a problem, and that it was most likely Borderline Personality Disorder.
- I fully accepted that booze wasn’t helping, and I stopped drinking, got sober, and became completely abstinent from alcohol.
- I fully embraced honesty in all my dealings, being determined to always tell the whole truth to myself and to others, (when I needed to tell others anything at all that is, which isn’t all the time).
- I did not take any mood altering drugs, neither prescription drugs nor street drugs. Obviously my doctors offered me everything, starting with Prozac.
- I got physically fit. (Mens sano in corpore sano. ~ Juvenal)
- I continued with formal counselling, from professional therapists, and with informal counselling from a trusted and knowledgeable friend.
- I embraced self-help techniques from getting lots of fresh air, to meditation, to reading appropriate inspirational books. (I did not use inspirational videos, or group therapy, and I never will.)
- I became completely willing to recover from the debilitating, life ruining, destructive symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
- I looked at my past in an honest, open, and dispassionate way. I learned from my past, but I did not go back there, and I didn’t let it hurt me again.
- I learned to to completely accept, understand, care for, cherish, and love other people ~ no matter what.
And things got better. My life got much better, my relationships with others improved. I was sleeping well. I felt fit, strong, and healthy in body, mind, and spirit. And I felt empty inside. I felt imprisoned in the dark and forbidding fortress of my own mind. All was not well, and even though a psychiatrist and professional counsellors were telling me that I had made a remarkable recovery, changing my whole life and attitudes around, I felt unfulfilled and empty inside.
It seems that what I needed was an awakening of spirit, an epiphany, an understanding of life’s ultimate questions as they applied to me. Then, and strangely, out of nowhere, I had a spiritual awakening. Suddenly I was filled with genuine self-belief and a vision of the future for me.
I will not tell you how it happened, or exactly what happened, or why I am now a completely different and much better man than I could ever have hoped to become. You need to find your own spiritual awakening, and I strongly believe that each man and woman’s connection with ultimate reality will be different, personal, powerful, special, and moving.
I can tell you that I now understand The Divine Mother, my place in the Cosmos, and how to completely love and accept other people.
Alcoholics Anonymous, and other proponents of 12 step recovery programmes probably have it right. The first step to recovery is fully accepting that you have a problem
Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ~ that our lives had become unmanageable. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous
I substituted ‘feelings’ for the word ‘alcohol’ because that was the problem making my life a complete Hell, and I had the first step on the long road to recovery.
I admitted I was powerless over my feelings ~ that my life had become unmanageable.
There is a road to recovery, and it begins with admitting we are ill.
these opinions are mine and mine alone
the strongest personality
powerful sexual originality
mirrored and contradictory
within protagonist dichotomy
enchantress seductive virginity
libidinous promiscuous sexuality
lax wanton erotic elegant sensuality
bad unprincipled frustrating negativity
she’s a bitch, a slut, a harlot, a pro, a Lady
lust passion desire ardour whimsy fantasy
love adoration truth verity intimacy vagary
eccentricity unpredictability Emerald City
yearning romance cherish sympathy reality
hard pain heartache heartbreak actuality
unrequited love’s misery, if I can’t have you
words and pictures by jack collier