Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere with anyone.
night is falling
witch moon rising
she visits bars prowling
drinking, posing, hot flirting
touching, stroking, deep kissing
allowing anything, wanting everything
there is no friendship, affection, romancing
satisfying her promiscuous lust by just fucking
men half her age
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Women don’t like mind games. Most women like romance.
I’m just a guy, you know? Ergo I don’t actually understand the woman I care for, and sometimes I don’t really know what she wants from me. However, in an effort to be a ‘better’ guy I’ve been exploring the internet, and I believe these are the behaviours a woman would like me to bring to a relationship.
You know what? I worked out #1 all by my self.
- Do not be a jerk. (From time to time I have been a 21 carat jerk.)
- Give her respect. Respect her opinions, career, interests, friends, family, needs, dreams, and desires. Respect her body, her mind, and her soul. Accept and understand who and what she truly is.
- Give her time and space. She’s an independent lady, so don’t be clingy and dependent. She is not responsible for your happiness, you are. Don’t pressure her into doing things she’s not ready for. But, when she needs you, be generous with your own time; always be there for her.
- Be confident and capable ~ take charge when you need to. She needs to know that you can always be relied on to take the lead when necessary.
- Always help her to feel safe. Don’t ever be threatening, and if she’s worried about someone or something, or scared of something or someone ~ then help her to deal with it!
- Respect her privacy. Don’t ever intrude where she wants to be private, and never, ever, comment on what she posts on social media.
- Follow through with your plans and ideas. Women like to know that if a guy says he is going to do something, he will actually do it.
- Be completely honest, unless complete honesty is hurtful. Women don’t like liars, and once you have lost a woman’s trust it’s hard to get it back again.
- When it’s appropriate be romantic. And, what is truly romantic changes from time to time, and from woman to woman. To be romantic; You need to get to know her.
- Be polite, well-mannered, and well-spoken. Very good manners take a little effort ~ but I’m lucky here, I’m a true English Gentleman, and good manners come naturally to me. And never, ever get drunk when she’s around.
- Self-deprecating humour. Don’t make jokes at her expense, but it’s OK to poke fun at yourself. She will probably like gentle humour, and dislike you trying to be funny by being vicious and nasty about other people.
- If she ever feels the need to apologise, accept her apology with grace. Especially never, ever, mention the things she’s apologised for ever again.
- A Man should never be late. She may have no sense of time, she may always be late for everything, but you should always be there on time~ always. If you’ve promised to call at eight o’clock, then you should call her at exactly eight.
- Be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy. Women don’t seem to appreciate unreliability, a good guy needs to be the same good guy every minute of every day.
- Listen to her. When she wants to talk, listen patiently with acceptance and understanding. Don’t give her solutions she hasn’t asked for, just listen to her.
- Respond to her texts and emails in a timely manner. She may take forever to reply to you, but if you get a message from her, then respond as soon as is humanly possible.
- Always be clean, tidy, and well-groomed. You and your place should always be pretty immaculate, especially the bathroom. And, if you are ever invited to her place, treat it with the utmost respect. Clean your shoes, get a manicure, get a haircut, have some great pictures in your place….
- Be faithful in word and deed. Don’t screw around, don’t date other women, don’t constantly flirt with other women, don’t check out other women, don’t ‘like’ other women’s pictures on social media, and do not constantly jerk off to porn.
- Be complementary. Tell her she looks pretty, her hair’s nice, tell her you like her. and if it’s appropriate tell her that you love her.
- Do things just for her. Clean her car, make sure she’s always got petrol, (gas), in the tank, fix things for her, send her flowers and perfume, but bear in mind point #9, and be romantic in the right way and when it’s appropriate.
- Sex. Do not try too go to far and too fast. If anything, follow her lead, and remember point #10 , and always be polite and well-mannered. And, if and when you sleep with her, remember that her pleasure is important. You may need sex, but perhaps what she really wants is love.
Writing this stuff, it all makes perfect sense, and I don’t believe I’ve got anything badly wrong in this list. But, Ladies, if I have, then please feel free to tell me about it.
And, writing this stuff I realise that I do most of these good things most of the time, and some of them all of the time. Sadly, that isn’t good enough. Point #14 behoves me to be consistent, reliable, and trustworthy ~ I need to do all of the above all of the time.
That’s a tall order, but if she is worth it, and you really care, then she’s worth all of it all of the time.
In future, I shall make every effort to follow my advice from this list. I am going to do this stuff.
pictures by Jack Vettriano
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Ladies sometimes behave badly and lie about it afterwards.
Commonplace denial of truths
conspiracy theories masking fictions
black smoke rising as manifest realities
unbearable burden tattered preoccupations
endlessly survived, displacements deprivations
endure prolonged lies fact togetherness separations
careless cheap deceit deception falsehood treachery lies
Commonplace denial of truths and love’s long-lost affections
Commonplace denial of lies
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Never forget there are three types of people in your life…
I’ve just got back from the gym, tanning booth, massage, sauna, manicurist…
It all seems morally wrong.
But I have found a charity ~ and it’s to do with helping women.
It is fucking amazing what you can get for money.
Funny how all that seems worse.
I think I’ll take a trip to Tibet and learn some real yoga.
The prudent distrust witches promises.
so listen while I call you a fool
she walks in beauty like the night
the moon and stars her tender light
their celestial adoration her soul incites
Selene rises for her love’s wonderous light
an enchantress erotic promise darkly excites
and later she will lie that her feelings were true
you need herbs for witchcraft
A dreamer, ever hopeful of finding adventure and romance.
I didn’t get along with Casanova
Romeo and me were never friends
incestuous Borgias really scared me
but you see how much that I adore you
let me say ‘I love you’ time and time again
I’ll bring the moon down from the sky for you
if you’ll only just once reply that you love me too
pictures taken with a Lumix
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Our very souls may be consumed by shadows.
We each have a complex relationship with ourselves. If we have ever really suffered through something like; alcoholism, drug addiction, addiction to gambling, sex addiction, too many of the wrong prescription drugs, parental abuse, an abusive relationship, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, serious problems with our diet, mental health problems, failed relationships, job loss, loss of our home… (or more likely a mixture of all of these problems and more), then we also have a complex relationship with the whole world and everyone in it.
At times we can find ourselves in a very bad place where every voice is critical, malevolent, and negative ~ even our own inner voice. Our inner voice creates inner demons; anger, depression, fear of rejection, rejection of others, jealousy, judgementalism, self-doubt, self-hatred, worthlessness…
All the dark, malevolent Passions of the Soul are roused and exerted; its mild and amiable affections are suppressed; and with them virtuous Principles are laid prostrate. ~ Charles Inglis
Unless you have been there you can have no idea how bad the pain and anguish these inner demons can create. One will do almost anything to escape the crippling pain; including going back to our addictions, making big geographical moves, shutting down and numbing ourselves, isolating ourselves, psychotherapy, strong prescription drugs, attending 12 step groups, spirituality, retreating further into mental illness, suicide…
It is not just our inner demons. If we are in that bad place then we are also surrounded by demons. Everyone we know, everyone we meet, adds to these outer demons with their misplaced concerned advice, criticisms, and rejection. Many people do not want us to get well, they measure themselves against our struggle and feel superior, they add their negative demons to our own. When I was at my last rock-bottom I became aware that almost everyone I knew, everyone I met, was feeding off my pain. Few understand, few want to understand, and fewer still truly want to help.
Some especially gifted, intelligent, and sensitive people believe that there is a third layer of demons, in addition to our inner demons, and the tormenting demons gifted to us by almost everyone we know. Most spiritual and religious people also believe that there are more demons than the physiological and psychological. These special people believe in genuine demons, in the spiritual realm, and that some of us may be victims of these demons. In my mind’s eye I am very aware that in the shadows surrounding my soul lurk the powers of darkness seeking to torment and torture me.
Demons manifest themselves in people in different ways. For instance, out of nowhere, somebody can become very angry for no reason. That’s not just an emotion. That’s a demon. ~ Stephen Baldwin.
None of the details really matter. What I do know is that if you have truly suffered, and if you are suffering now, then you are the victim of demons who will feed off your pain, and want nothing more than to destroy you and everything and everyone you care for.
It is our demons that make us believe that our partner is sleeping with other men, that giving into our addiction will solve our problems, and that suicide is painless.
Many of us have tried over the years to face down our inner demons. Some succeed, many fail. Many fail because they don’t realise that the main causes of their misery are inner demons which seem to have an intelligence and will of their own. Many more fail because they never realise that they are also surrounded by malevolent evil demons emanating from the subconscious psyche of everyone they know. And, some fail because they are the victims of true demonic possession.
Demons are not your superiors, demons are not even your equals. All demons have is the ability to make you cause yourself pain and suffering. Demons can only torment and torture you if you let them, but most of us allow demons to torture us because we are not even aware that they are there.
Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy. ~ David D. Burns.
Recovery begins with admitting that you have a problem.
I cannot yet face down my demons, but I know they are there, trying to make me torture myself so that they can feed off my pain. (Even your inner demons feed off the pain you cause yourself.)
Now, when I feel myself going down a negative path to my own personal hell, I can tell myself that it’s just my personal demons trying to destroy me, and that I should ignore their oppressive persecution. That helps me. A psychological bully can only bully you if you let them. Your demons have no physical power over you. Ignore them and your demons will go away. Eventually I shall be able to face down my demons and tell them to fuck off ~ and that will be a good day.
Demons are to be pitied. They have nothing but your pain and suffering. If you do not allow your demons to make you cause yourself pain and suffering, then those demons will eventually die and vanish into nothing.
You can and will get well if you do not allow your demons to torment and torture you.
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Women are often very difficult to impress.
my words are banal, she’s heard it all before
yet my words are very true, I really do care for her
I’m pouring my whole heart away, wish I could find more
memorable originality, honesty, sincere Shakespearian prose
to convince her that I’m not just some other lustful jerk in a bar
If I Was There Right Now…
For my sins, I often talk to a supposedly close friend at the telephone, and more often than not she will also be looking at things she finds interesting on her cell, tablet, PC… Do I find this rude and annoying? Of course I do. It annoys me intensely. To use an Americanism, I get pissed. And then, I often see couples out on a date, and one or both will spend more time looking at their cell phone than they will having a conversation with their actual date. More often than not the person spending the most time-wasting their time online will be the woman, and not the guy, unless he’s a metrosexual wazzock.
Is this because the woman in question finds their guy boring and uninteresting? How the hell do I know what women think? I’m just an average guy, trying to be polite, charming, gentlemanly, friendly, nice. Would I ever go online when I’m talking with a girl by telephone, or in person? Of course not. It’s rude, it’s impolite, and it’s disrespectful to give the major part of your attention, or even any part of your attention, to your cell when you’re supposed to be with the guy you’re with.
These days everyone, (except me), has their cell phones with them all the time, perhaps on the table at dinner, occasionally intruding into the conversation, and eventually disrupting their relationship.
Just the obvious presence of a cell phone will disrupt real relationships. People use mobile devices to stay connected to people who they are not near. A cell phone at the table means that a person’s entire social network is in the room. The phone diverts attention from the person you are supposed to be with to some sad jerk in Kansas City. And you know what? That’s fucking annoying.
Call me old-fashioned, but I also despise the use of text / internet acronyms and abbreviations, What the fuck is DGMW supposed to mean? And LOL, TTYL, and WTF?
If a woman I’m with wants to devote some of her attention to her acquaintances, colleagues, friends, family, interests, social circle, on her cell phone or tablet, that’s fine. If her cell phone is more important to her than I am, that’s OK too. I may just decide that she’s not so important to me, that she can fuck off, get lost, please don’t keep in touch, don’t let the door hit you on the way out..
The next time it’s obvious to me that the person with whom I’m trying to have a real conversation is also online / looking at her cell then we’re done. FO&HAND.
Do you want to date a girl who has internet relationship with other guys? Me neither.
Life is too short to waste it on an internet snowflake.