Wisdom cures so many things, except loves lost forever.
adulteress betrayal cuckold dreaming
erotic flirtatious gratuitous harlot
infidelities juicy kissable lusting
men naughty occult provoking
qualmless rape scary tart
unholy vixen witch
the converse of this post will appear soon
Don’t be ashamed of your story ~ it will inspire others.
When nothing is ventured, nothing is gained, so what’s the sense of running away from your own life. The good things just don’t fall out of the sky, they have to be worked for. But we have to do the right things, at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. Trying to force the best that Life has to offer doesn’t ever work ~ we have to work with the rhythms of the Cosmos, and not against the flow of the tides.
The great rhythms of nature, today so dully disregarded, wounded even, have their spacious and primeval liberty….. Journeying birds alight here and fly away again all unseen, schools of fish move beneath the waves, the surf flings its spray against the sun. ~ Henry Beston.
Little did I realise when I was an overpaid and overworked international banker how little I saw of nature. What I saw were offices, the inside of cars, trains and ‘planes, hotels, airports, other offices, and city streets. I earned a hell of a lot of money, but money is a false God, and money never made me happy. Today I can be happy to walk by the sea, to look at the sky, to enjoy the vast curve of a distant horizon, to listen to the murmur of the surf and the mournful cries of the gulls. Cars, trains, and ‘planes still have their place in my life, but now it’s only a minor element of who I am ~ cities are no longer the be-all and end-all.
Perhaps it is the night of despair where you are, and I am certain that you are not sleeping soundly. If you are dreaming at all, I hope you are having sweet and pleasant dreams, but I’m certain that you are not. I am certain your dreams are weird and disturbing, turning into nightmares. Try and leave those night-terrors behind you for a while. There are enough nightmares in the real world without us having to suffer them during our sleep.
The world turns, it may be day-time here, night-time where you are, and somewhere the dawn is breaking and the birds are awakening. The Cosmos is like a giant time-piece, it has a rhythm of its own ~ the Cosmos keeps its own time. Be aware, just like the rhythms of a friendship and love between two people change and develop, so the Cosmos is a continual state of change. We need to enjoy the moonlight while we wait for the sunrise.
We are a part of the Cosmos, we are where our physical bodies are, but our spirits are everywhere. We exist in this time, but we also exist in a myriad of pasts and possible futures. I want, need, and desire that the future that awaits me is chosen from the best of all possible alternative realities. I can close my eyes and imagine ideal pasts, presents, and futures, and in all of them I hope I can spend some cool times with people I care for, cherish, and love.
We are made of starstuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself. ~ Carl Sagan
What have we dreamed and who have we lost? In my ideal times we are entirely friendly, trusting, honest, open, caring and loving. You know what? I don’t think that it’s too much for me to pray to the Goddess to help me to attain my own earthly versions of nirvana. It may seem strange to you but I pray to the mother goddess, and in her form incarnate; Aphrodite. I dream of he Goddess Aphrodite, still looking for the place where we belong together.
I am excited about where I can go in time and space, in friendship, love, and sensual pleasure. The cool things I could possibly do, and the cool places I could visit. It’s about being able to fly, about having the courage to live life to the fullest, to enjoy every moment of every day. Someday soon I will build a tiny trailer, and someday after that I will build something much more ambitious, like a school-bus RV, or a tiny home in someplace beautiful, with a wonderful view of the dawn and sunset.
Shit happens all the time, but one has to remember that; as there is no growth without suffering, there can be no pleasure without pain. There is a reason we were brought to this life, all we have to do is trust and take one small step in time. Such are my beliefs.
It’s not all sweet and elegant lies. Shit happens, but Magic happens too.
Recovery is possible ~ but first one has to admit that there is a problem.
Sometimes nightmares become terrifying reality.
sex and the stranger has left
just another of those bar boys
the Marconi plays downbeat
yellow moon rules the clouds
alone again after midnight
hurts that nobody even cares
that she’s scared filled with fright
soul peopled with dark dreams
her past sins have found the light
all she has are her worst nightmares
and solitary screaming in the night
I you’re not offending someone, you’re not doing your job.
Yesterday evening I started to write a post for today ~ or rather I began 3 different posts, and scrapped all of them. All three of those posts would have offended some of the people who follow my blog, and some of my close friends, so I junked all of those questionable posts.
I believe in absolute freedom of expression. Everyone has a right to be offended. ~ Taslima Nasrin
If you have followed my blog for any length of time you will know that I don’t shy away from offending some people, but the people I’m happy to offend deserve whatever they get, and more. I have no problem being offensive to Bankers, Politicians, Government Officials ~ and on Monday of this week I was offensive toward the disgusting sex-pests, perverts, paedophiles, and rapists who work for some ‘Big Charities’ such as Oxfam.
I’m not happy to offend the innocent who just happen to do, (or have done), some things I profoundly disagree with. That would be cruel, hurtful, hypocritical, mendacious, and vicious of me.
I try to practice ‘mindfulness’ every time I encounter a stressful feeling or negative emotion, of I am challenged by my own anger. Mindfulness grounds me in the present and stops me obsessing about the past. I can look at my feelings as though I am an uninvolved observer, rather than being at the centre of the maelstrom. That way I can act and react in a balanced and thoughtful way.
So, instead of what I intended to write about, which in each of the three cases would have been stressful, challenging, negative, and emotive ~ I’m going to tell you how I came to the decision that writing about this stuff would have been a bad idea.
These days I try to live a kind, mindful, self-aware, and spiritual existence ~ bringing inner peace and happiness to myself and those around me. Offending innocent people for no good reason than my own instant gratification is not living an ethical and spiritual existence.
I try to be accepting, understanding, and supportive to those around me. I do my best to live a mindful life. I work very hard at walking the warrior’s path to ultimate truth and inner peace. I profoundly believe that as I give to the world, so I shall receive in return.
Ergo, publishing a blog which I knew would upset and hurt some people, which would make them think that I was actually attacking them, was not who I am trying to be today. In any event, I am not perfect within myself.
When you are offended at any person’s fault, turn to yourself and study our own failings. Then you will forget your anger. ~ Epictetus
I want to make good changes in my relationships, my behaviours, habits, and routines ~ attacking someone, or a group of people, is neither good nor positive. So, I decided that I just wasn’t going to do it.
And you know what? I feel better for not publishing any of those three negative, emotive, and judgmental posts.
The posts I had half written, and then trashed were about Borderline Personality Disorder, casual sex with strangers, and the medicinal use of marijuana.
La mode se démodé, le style monochromatique, jamais.
Noir Rouge à Lèvres Fumer
une garce est la contraire d’une salope,
et elle fume pour la prouver.
No person is free who is not master of themselves.
Self-discipline and self-control aren’t easy ~ these admirable character traits are not something we are born with, and usually most people don’t really develop self-discipline and self-control until they are well into adulthood. Some sad people never learn any real self-discipline and self-control at all. They are doomed to live meaningless, unfulfilled, unhappy, and unenlightened existences.
The exercise of self-discipline and self-control is difficult and complicated, needing willpower, flexibility, and judgement. To live fully rewarding lives we must continually be completely honest with ourselves, yet at times withhold the whole truth from others. To be free of disappointment, pain, and suffering we must assume total responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. It’s no good breaking our abstinence from alcohol or cigarettes just because some other people seem to having a good time smoking and drinking. That is just giving the power to control our lives to others whose own judgement is very suspect.
We must also have the self-discipline and self-control to reject responsibility that is not truly ours. I am not my brother’s keeper, nor are you responsible for what your sister does with her life.
True self-discipline and real self-control means being organised and efficient, living wisely, and living in balance and harmony with yourself and the Cosmos.
A key part of this is the ability to delay gratification ~ don’t always stop at the pub on the way home from work, don’t always get angry when questioned, and don’t always eat that last sandwich even when you are not hungry. Keep an eye on the future, think about what your actions are going to mean tomorrow, next week, next year. Do you want to be an angry and overweight alcoholic? Well, by the sound of it that’s where you’ll be heading if you don’t learn some self-discipline and self-control.
Let hunger sharpen your awareness. Abstain liquor and frivolous recreation, which dull the mind and weaken the body. ~ Laura Joh Rowland.
It’s all about replacing bad and self-destructive habits with good habits that will enhance your life in the longer term. Instead of stopping off at the pub on the way home from work, three or four times a week, go to the gym instead. You won’t get the immediate buzz of getting drunk, but you will get the long-term buzz of being a fitter, healthier, much better person.
Either I’m lucky, or I have a lot of willpower, because I seem to have more than my share of self-discipline and self-control ~ (and even I self-destruct from time to time). I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t pick up cheap women in bars for meaningless sex. I’m fit and healthy, I walk at least 5 miles every day, exercise, and I do yoga. My weight is right where it should be, my blood work is excellent, and my heart is strong. I don’t go to work at all, and yet I’m wealthy enough to do what I like when I like.
And nobody has ever given me one damn thing. Everything I have I have earned for myself through hard work, self-discipline, and self-control.
The answer is easy. Stop pissing your life away like a fool, and start really living instead. Replace your bad and self-destructive habits with good habits that will enhance your life in the longer term.
If I can do it, anyone can.
It’s so quiet in the ruins of a relationship.
It’s so fucking quiet in the ruins of,
walking through the old memories,
feeling the past with sexual regret,
the song stays the same but the lyrics,
are as distant as the wolf moon.
Life is an unending struggle at the edge of uncertainty.
Some say that nothing is certain in this life except death and taxes. And, that we should live in the moment, taking what joy there is to be had. All I know is that a little certainty sometimes would go a long way. Worrying about things that may happen is to create pointless pain.
Over the past few days I have been struggling to make sense of a relationship that’s important to me, and my introspection and deliberation hasn’t gone so well. Either I just do not understand my friend and why she does things, or I do not understand women at all, or both. It’s probably both.
My friend is taking a trip to England ~ going on a retreat in the Cotswolds with a weird self-improvement group. Her first trip to England isn’t to visit me, it’s to be with her group. That doesn’t make me feel good, it makes me feel very second-best. What my friend is going to do by taking this trip to England to see a bunch of other people hurts me more than just a lot. Anyhow, I hate groups. Most small groups revel in their self-righteous and introspective stupidity.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. ~ Martin Luther King.
In general I don’t much like the self-righteous people who join groups, and I don’t like group mentality. I would not join any group / association / society/ club that would willingly have me as a member. I firmly believe that groups create a vicious ‘them and us’ mentality, especially closed groups, and I despise that. It disgusts me. I firmly believe that groups close off outsiders and that people develop unhealthy relationships within the group. The whole group ethos sickens me.
In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Groups can and do operate to unhealthy norms. Group members will continue to conform to norms that are quite harmful rather than healthy, even norms that run counter to society’s accepted standards of behaviour. Members of small groups can find their behaviour unconsciously regulated in a way which is not good for their physical, mental, and spiritual health due to pluralistic ignorance.
Sex, drugs, and pluralistic ignorance: smart groups do dumb things. ~ Geoff Cohen
Pluralistic ignorance is a shared delusion common in small groups. A small group can engage in systematic barbaric, harmful, hurtful, and uncaring behaviour ~ even though the individual members of the group may be good people in their own right. The members of small groups are amoral within the group, they tend to drink too much, smoke too much, use drugs, and engage in casual sex, all within the group, and those self-destructive behaviours can become the group norm. I know, I’ve seen it happen.
Sometimes most people in a group will disagree with the group norm, but nobody will ever speak out. Groupthink is a powerful thing, it’s what creates a mob mentality, a cult mentality, a harmful and poisonous bunch of people. The list of destructive groups is long and painful.
No one believes, but everyone thinks that everyone believes. ~ Tricia Wang.
I do not like this situation, I do not like that my friend’s first trip to England is to be with a ‘group’, and it’s making me very unhappy, which is stupid. Unhappiness should not be endured, it should be cured.
I can do nothing about some things. I can’t try to stop my friend from being in a group she says is valuable to her self-development. But I fear that this situation will end badly and painfully. Yet, I cannot change other people and what they do. I cannot even change what happens to me. All I can change is myself. All I can do is be the best guy I can possibly be; accepting, considerate, kind, reliable, and understanding. All I can do is be there for my friend.
written close to midnight on
January 30th 2018
All she wants is to have sex, with anyone…
so, dark sexual mistress
the face of a fallen goddess
a body you know how to use
husky voice enchants, seduces
erotic Venus who desires abuse
an easy female charm you misuse
I’m really impressed, now vamoose
you’re a slut
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Sexual desire is impervious to sense and reason.
What am I longing for most in life? That’s a hard question It’s one of the questions in the Dreambook and Planner a friend sent to me.
That question made me think a lot, as it should have. I don’t have an answer as yet.
The thing is I have some easy answers, guy type answers, and of course more and better sex is an easy answer for a guy.
It’s disturbing for me that friendship and love seem more important to me right now than monochromatic lust. Lust and sex are transient, love and friendship are permanent things. As I guy I think I should be more into casual sex.
But I do love black and white pictures of attractive women. Why monochromatic? It is so much sexier.
And why do women who smoke turn me on? That’s weird too.
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