a woman with a past is still someone’s future
the past was not always pleasant
sometimes it’s best forgotten
a healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down
misery is never acceptable
Who here has never been dumped? I have, more than once, and it hurts. However, I firmly believe that what hurts worse than being rejected and dumped is being rejected by your spouse or partner while the relationship goes on between you. You are still mostly living together, but that’s the most you can say of it. You may even be having sex, but it’s lacking in intimacy and is nothing more than satisfying some animal lust. Bad sex is worse than no sex at all, and in a toxic relationship sex is all about power.
Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. ~ Oscar Wilde
Some signs of being rejected inside a relationship are that you avoid being together, you hardly ever talk and when you do there is no real communication, communication descends into arguments, recriminations, and raised voices, you don’t trust your partner at all, one of you drinks far too much, and the chances are that you are being cheated on. Anyhow, if your partner is rejecting you then you already know. Being rejected can hurt for a while, being rejected inside a relationship makes you miserable forever, or until you find the courage to walk out.
If you don’t trust your partner / spouse, if you don’t let them anywhere near your money, if you go to counseling alone or to a 12 step group, if you are being mentally, psychologically or physically abused, if you feel like a doormat, if you are always walking on eggshells ~ then it’s time to have an escape plan. The thing is that, anyone who can subject someone they profess to care for to the misery of rejection is themselves a deeply damaged person. In psychology Anti-Social has some very specific meanings, it describes someone who has no conscience, no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, no guilt. Anti-Social people are promiscuous, often abuse alcohol and drugs, they cheat and steal, are narcissistic, and often they will break the law; things like petty theft or driving under the influence. Someone who will reject their partner or spouse is deeply Anti-Social.
And beware because simple rejection can escalate into Gaslighting, a form of extreme psychological abuse. If you suffer from anxiety, depression, question your own sanity ~ then you are being gaslighted. If that is you, and you sometimes fear for your own safety, or even your own life, then it’s not time to walk away, it’s time to run.
feeling like a prisoner is never acceptable
’emergencies’ have always been the pretext on which individual liberty has been eroded
the only casual sex allowed is phone sex
Here in England it’s Day 380 of the national coronavirus lockdown, and now that there may be some signs that some of the restrictions may be lifted in the foreseeable future, it is worth remembering just what has been taken away from us.
Just to focus on three of our inalienable rights;
- Freedom of Association. All through this lockdown we have been prohibited from meeting our friends and families. Two women sharing walk and a cup of coffee were arrested for ‘breaking the spirit of lockdown’. A lady was arrested just for being outside the care home of her elderly father. And while the Black Lives Matter ‘protests’ were allowed to go ahead, every other public gathering of more than six people was treated as a riot by our increasingly heavy handed police. Schools, Universities, and Churches have been closed, as have all other possible meeting places. Extramarital sex is out of the question unless you are part of the ‘governing elite.’
- Freedom of Movement. We have been told not to to go anywhere unless it was absolutely essential, not to leave home, not to travel more than a dozen miles from home, not to go to work unless you couldn’t possibly work from home….., and our increasingly Gestapo-like police force have happily arrested anyone seemingly breaking the rules. Airlines have been grounded, Wales and Scotland closed their borders, and do not even think about attempting to travel to the USA.
- Freedom of Trade. Apart from some ‘essential’ food stores and pharmacies, everything has been shut. Factories have been lying idle because nobody could buy anything they made. Agriculture has been badly hit because farm workers were told to stay at home, or in the case of ‘foreign casual labourers’ weren’t even allowed into the UK. And, of course, any business where people could gather together has been closed for the duration. Forget getting a pint with your mates down the pub.
Some say that losing our freedom was a necessary part of staying safe and protecting the Health Service. And that those who complained should be gagged. (Well, there goes Freedom of Speech.) All I know is that we have all lost more than just our basic liberties to combat a mild ‘flu epidemic.
all doors have been firmly closed
by order of some power-mad unelected officials
subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood
what’s behind you doesn’t matter
There’s another definition of mercurial which is someone who is clever, confident, lively, and quick; the archetypal Type A personality. Both of the above are pretty accurate descriptions of who I am. I am also an Ares; passionate, intense, instinctive, aggressive, physical, unpredictable, a black-and-white, here-and-now, straight-line thinker. You might gather that I don’t like settling for second best. You might not think that I have a great sense of humour and a wicked laugh.
In the past I used to like things quick and dirty, but that was because I had no inherited wisdom, no role models to look back on, and very little fear of failure. I learned the hard way that walking blindly into the swamp to slay a dragon wasn’t always the best way to go about things. I learned very fast that casual sex is sordid. Acting on impulse has usually ended in big trouble for me.
I used to have an uncontrollable and sudden temper, which fortunately always passed just as quickly as it came upon me. These days I’ve learned to count to ten, and then ten again, before letting anger and frustration get the better of me. (Actually after counting to 20 I’m usually bored with being annoyed.) However, one hangover from those bad old days is that to this day I never forget and never forgive.
My standards are very high, some would say impossibly so. I am judgmental, I measure myself harshly and I judge others just as severely. Perhaps that’s because I am intelligent, dynamic, quick, and confident enough to see the slow mediocrity in others. Because I am utterly honorable and honest I despise liars, especially those who lie by sly omission.
Why am I telling you this? Because my birthday was just a couple of days ago, and now we are into my star-sign of Ares it seemed a good moment to remind myself of just who I am. A man who likes the passionate joy of the chase as much as the conquest. A man who lives a great life to the fullest, even during this fucking lockdown. (BTW, I get very upset if a woman ever used the ‘F’ word in public.)
I know about astronomy
and astral navigation too
I used to drink so much vodka that I had a Russian accent
Russian Slut Cocktail
26 ounce bottle of Smirnoff Black Label Vodka
One Gallon Jug
Pour the vodka into the jug over a couple of handfuls of ice, go into the yard, tear a handful of mint leaves and toss them in the jug, drive to the nearest place that has a soda fountain, fill the jug with whatever soda you like, go home, stir the jug, and drink with not more than a couple of casual friends, (of any sex). Enjoy. Repeat for as long as one of you can walk. What else you do while you’re drinking depends on how much of a Russian Slut you’ve become.
eventually, you may forget the mint
and the ice
first of all stop being a willing victim
if that’s you then perhaps you need to change
The first step in my total makeover plan New Age ~ New Me is giving up alcohol; or to say it a better way Living a Sober Life. If you misuse and abuse any substance; alcohol, drugs, prescription medication, over the counter medication, sugar, tobacco….. then your life revolves around that and it’s almost impossible to do anything else that matters a damn. And trust me, if you drink, smoke, or take drugs ~ then whatever you think or believe you are an addict. The same goes if you gamble, are promiscuous, steal, cheat, lie….. you are an addict and a victim of your own need for instant gratification.
If you ever want to be better, to become self-aware, self-controlled, self-disciplined, empowered, and truly happy, then first of all you have to give up your addictions. No that’s not true, first of all you truly have to admit to yourself that you have a problem. Only when you really believe that you need to give up hanging around in bars, or drinking a bottle of wine at home every night, or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day can you begin to become a better version of yourself.
And giving up isn’t easy. For years I was a binge-drinker ~ every time I got upset, unhappy, or dissatisfied I would retreat into a bottle of booze to make myself feel better. It never worked. And yet I haven’t touched a drop since Christmas last year.
Here’s how did I did that;
- I came to believe that booze was ruining my life.
- I made a decision to stop drinking alcohol.
- I stopped buying and drinking booze.
It was an instant decision followed by instant action; and I believe that it has to be that way. There has been no help, no 12 step group, no counselors, no complicated programs, no tricks, no searching the internet to find an easy way to be sober, no anything ~ just me and some self-discipline. It’s easy; decide to stop whatever destructive behaviour gives you instant gratification, and then stop.
Except we know that it isn’t easy at all ~ it’s fucking hard.
But what would I rather become? A drooling incontinent who lives just for the next drink? Or a self-aware Renaissance Man who lives a very full and rewarding life?
So, every hour of every day I stay away from that first drink.
the things you think you like the most
are the things that will ruin your life
and then kill you
one reason men are slobs is that
mothers let boys get away with it
it takes a lot of hard work and practice to become a lazy slob
some men think that being a lazy slob is a full-time job
men have more grades of laundry than clean and dirty
a man will spend ages looking for the remote
rather than walk over and change channels manually
men believe that where there’s muck there’s money
rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength
Moses was lost in the desert for 40 years
and he wouldn’t ask for directions either
men look after the environment
they like saving water
and eating right out of the can
most men will cheat
and have sex with any bar fly
if they think they can get away with it
most women are very good at emotional blackmail
but a better woman would never go that low
solitary sulking in a bar is also sexual and emotional blackmail
I would aver that any man who has been in a dysfunctional relationship has experienced emotional blackmail at first hand ~ so that’s 100% of mature men. And if a man is strong enough, or insensitive enough not to give in to being emotionally blackmailed, women will deploy the nuclear option and start crying. All women can cry on purpose as a way of manipulating a man’s emotions. Conversely, where and when I was brought up in England real men never cry.
Crying in babies has a real function in that it stimulates loving and protective feelings in adults. Most of the time an adult woman crying is deliberate emotional blackmail ~ and it works on boyfriends, lovers, partners, and husbands. Only women and gay men use tears to manipulate others. Generally women are experts in emotional blackmail, generally real men aren’t. Generally, the most common emotional blackmailers are family members, close friends, and lovers.
Emotional blackmail is one of the great pastimes of family life. ~ Mason Cooley
Men are far more often the victims of emotional and sexual blackmail than the villains. It seems that men will use a well-planned direct approach to get what they want, whereas women prefer blackmail because it avoids direct confrontation. At its worst emotional blackmail is where a woman who is close to you subtly threatens to punish you, or implies that you will suffer if you don’t comply with their wishes. That woman will know your most intimate secrets and vulnerabilities. She will use this personal knowledge to get you to obey her. Whatever strengths and weaknesses a man has, an unscrupulous woman will use them against him.
A man must never, ever yield to emotional or sexual blackmail, or it will become a lifetime curse. You can refuse to give in to threats, you can negotiate, and a strong man can just assert himself, but you must always honestly believe that you are in the right.
Some say that emotional blackmailers are childish bullies and should be treated accordingly. And that women will use the withdrawal of sex as a tool in blackmail. All I know is that you can’t go on fighting an emotional blackmailer, you can either train them to be better, or walk away.
this woman is an expert blackmailer
promiscuity is about sex, not about relationships
I drove day and night
to get to her
neither sane nor right
I wrecked the car
for what, just a cheat
cheating on a good man is like
throwing away a diamond
and picking up a brick
smart women are not afraid to be alone
but some women are desperate
This post is addressed to women.
A friend of mine said that all a woman has to do to attract a man is to be available ~ I would go a bit further than that and say all an attractive woman has to do to interest most men is to be there. I’ve no doubt that the same applies in reverse to some women, some of the time ~ but not to the same degree as would apply to any man who has red blood running through his veins.
Which begs the question; do men have any discernment at all when it comes to women?
Some men think they have discernment when actually they are just suspicious. ~ Joyce Meyer
Speaking for myself; I’ve turned down more women than I’ve had sex with ~ which hasn’t always endeared me to the women concerned. Speaking for most men; we’ll have sex with anything ~ once, especially if there’s alcohol involved. Which explains why almost any woman can walk into a bar and get fucked within an hour or so, especially if she likes car sex.
This might be reprehensible of men, but it’s doubly reprehensible for a promiscuous woman. No real gentleman will have sex with a woman who has the morals of the average man. No gentleman particularly likes being hit on ~ at least I don’t.
‘Promiscuous’ implies that I’m not choosy. In fact I’m very choosy. I just happen to have had a lot of choices. ~ Jacki Weaver
As far as having a relationship with a woman is concerned, most men have an unbreakable rule; never, ever ask her about her past. Unfortunately some women will feel compelled to tell their partner all about their sexual and romantic history. This is a BIG mistake. All men suffer from retroactive jealousy, and if you don’t know what that is I suggest you look it up. Most men will not have a long-term relationship with a woman who has had more than a handful of lovers. That might be setting double standards, but that’s the truth of it.
Some say that when it comes to women, men have no discrimination. And that all a woman has to do to attract a man is turn up. All I know is that
some men will sleep with any willing woman between 17 and 70.
even drunk, most men can spot a married woman a mile away