Love is a smoke made up with the fume of sighs. ~ Shakespeare
It takes a certain type of woman to accept a light when she’s only wearing black lingerie
and lots of makeup, and earrings, and probably tall heels
water and booze should only ever meet in a glass
Here in very hot and sunny Turkey I’ve suddenly noticed how much people drink on vacation. And, maybe I’ve only noticed because I’ve been sober for a little while. Not so long ago I would have been boozing along with the best, and totally oblivious to how much others drank, or as is less likely, didn’t drink.
I am minded to think that copious quantities of alcohol, holiday uninhibitedness, skimpy clothing, heat, sun and deep water could lead to more sorts of trouble than one.
Some say that vacations are a time for fun, and never mind the consequences. And what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. All I know is that whatever you do and wherever you do it, there will be consequences afterwards. There is no such thing as a free ride.
I have pictures of people boozing,
but there are privacy issues
there’s a reason some women do that sometimes
I really didn’t think
she was always drinking
just usually very drunk
and high on skunk
and I shrank back
from ever thinking
about who she fucked
when she’d been drinking
strong drink gets weak women into trouble
A good pub is a magical place, right up until someone gets drunk.
In an effort to keep fit and healthy I take a daily walk around this one-horse seaside town, and it occurred to me that I pass a lot of bars and pubs. I said pass, in that I don’t go inside because I hardly ever drink these days.
Today I counted each and every pub and bar I walked past, and there were 37, and one lap dancing club.
That’s not counting the score or more of restaurants and diners who also sell alcohol.
I wondered how long it would take me to get through them all, if I stopped and had one drink in all the 37 pubs and bars I counted, plus the lap dancing club. I’m guessing a week or so, and I’m guessing I’ll be in a hell of a state by the time I’m through.
Maybe I’ll miss out the LGBT bar ~ or maybe not, it might be fun in there.
English pubs exist to sell beer.
Lots of beer, now there’s a temporary solution.
English Pubs Exist to Sell Beer
Despite what some would like to believe, beer is just as bad for you as any other alcohol, and depending how much of the brown falling-down-water you drink, beer is possibly worse that your other regular tipples. All booze has some very deleterious effects on your health, and the more your regularly drink the faster these bad things will happen to you.
Alcohol causes accidents in the home, on the road, and everywhere else you might find yourself after one too many drinks. Most people who commit suicide have been drinking heavily. Booze is also the direct cause of heart failure and other cardiovascular diseases, liver failure, fatty liver, hepatitis, and cirrhosis, sundry gastrointestinal disorders, pneumonia and other respiratory tract diseases, various cancers, pancreatitis, and diseases of malnutrition such as Wernicke’s encephalopathy, Korsakoff’s psychosis, amblyopia, and polyneuropathy. Without treatment you could die from all of these alcohol related dangers. Even with treatment some of the above will still kill you. If you don’t stop drinking, then you will die, horribly and before your time, from one or more of the nasty alcohol related killer diseases.
But, isn’t drinking beer safer? Isn’t it OK to have a few beers, every now and again.
Mostly, the answer to those questions is no. In a healthy adult, moderate drinking doesn’t cause too much damage, and by moderate I mean 1 pint of beer a day, or one standard size glass of wine a day ~ any more than that is quite damaging to your health. And you can’t save up your weekly quota and safely drink it all at the weekend either. Nor can you stay sober for a month and then get good and drunk to make up for all that boring sobriety ~ try that and you’ll most likely end up in vomiting your guts up, or in hospital, or dead.
So what about only ever drinking beer? Beer is made from water, a grain such as wheat or barley, and is usually flavoured with hops. Beer is usually between 4% and 12% alcohol by volume, (ABV). Your liver will take 1 hour to process a bottle of a weaker beer, and maybe 3 hours to process a pint of strong beer. While your liver is processing alcohol it isn’t doing anything else.
In comparison, wine usually has an ABV of 10% to 18%. Drinking an average size glass of wine is the equivalent of drinking a pint of strong beer. The ABV of spirits varies from between 35% to 60%, (sometimes more). A standard measure of spirits, (one shot), is about equivalent to drinking a bottle of strong beer.
The reasons beer is so bad for you is that there’s a lot of it by sheer quantity, which puts strain on your kidneys dealing with all that urine. Beer is full of grains which are packed with gluten and generally very bad for your digestion, there’s lots of calories in beer, and it’s got hops in it which is a soporific and also promotes the creation of estrogen in the body. Why do you think most beer drinkers are fat, have overhanging bellies, and guys who drink a lot of beer get man-boobs? Beer will kill you just as fast as any other alcohol, and it will make you very unattractive in the process.
Some say that beer is good for you. And that real men always have a few beers when they meet with the guys, or have a BBQ, or watch sports TV….. All I know is that people who drink beer become fat and unattractive, and then they die, before their time.
if the bottom falls out of your world,
drink Guinness and have the world fall out of your bottom.
it’s cool to be confident and happy being just who you are
building a very cool car is part of living a great life
I tell people that I’m a very cool guy, living a really great life ~ and some of that is actually true. I am old enough and wealthy enough that I have no need to work for a living, and having a reasonable amount of money I can pretty much do what I want, go where I want, buy whatever I like…..
But, there was a fly in my soup. For as long as I remember I had a terrible feeling that I didn’t fit in, that I didn’t belong, that everyone was out to get me. I was always afraid, angry, envious, jealous, paranoid, suicidal, and often the worse for drink. Each and every day I struggled to keep it all together, and sometimes the chaotic shit that was going on inside my mind would spill over and I would become a really nasty, destructive, resentful jerk. That was always followed by deep remorse, regret, apologies, and promises never to do that again ~ until the next time.
I didn’t learn that the only way to deal with negative and unhealthy beliefs and emotions is to allow yourself to feel them, let them pass through you, and then let them go and move on. For no reason I can find, a few days ago I learned the lesson that I don’t need to react to negative, destructive, fearful, paranoid, resentful, jealous feelings and beliefs. I made one small change ~ no matter how bad I feel, on the outside I will always seem to be a very cool guy, living a really great life.
As they say in 12-step meetings; I will fake it to make it, I will act as if I am totally cool, that I’ve got my shit together, that I am utterly self-aware, self-confident, self-controlled, and self-disciplined. And you know what? The more I act like that, the truer and more real it becomes.
It turns out that I am a very cool guy, living a really great life.
In a few days I’m taking a vacation in Turkey, before that I’m going to do a couple of pretty outrageous things that I wouldn’t even have dreamed of doing just a few short days ago. Later this year I’ll be taking a trip over the Christmas Holidays, and I’ve already got some great things in mind for next year. How cool is all that?
Some say that we can never escape our past. And that we will never be good enough, that we could always have done better, that we will never be able to hold onto a relationship, that we will always be a drunken jerk. All I know is that the only person I need to compare myself with is the guy I was yesterday.
Sedona, AZ, one of the really great places I’ve been to this year
and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom
My life has become challenging and rewarding. The challenges are to learn how to control my feelings, my expectations, my wants, needs, desires, dreams, and lusts. To be a very cool guy, living a great life ~ a very cool guy who is truly self-aware, self-deprecating, self-disciplined, self-controlled, and self-confident. A man who takes care of his friends, is accepting, supportive, understanding, patient, and steadfast. Someone who doesn’t show uncontrollable anger, nor act like a negative jerk. I already have some of the rewards; my friendships are returning, I am sober, I am self-aware, and I am filled with positive energies.
Life is a risky business, and in the end there are few winners. I hope that in the critical weeks ahead of me I will make good decisions that benefit myself and those I care for ~ now and in the future.
My new journey along the warrior’s path began with a decision to make some serious changes to myself and my life, regardless of what I had to do to make changes, and regardless of what those changes needed to be.
What I do know is that the most important change I needed to make was the resolve to stay sober. For me, drinking any booze at all just means that everything gets totally fucked-up. If I drink then something very bad may happen, one day the booze might kill me.
None of the things I’ve tried before ever worked for long. But, this week a light was turned on ~ and perhaps the reason is that I suddenly became uncontrollably angry at a friend. And shortly after that I was utterly remorseful. I had a rapid and extreme change of mood within an hour or so. Scary. I knew I had to do something radical.
Things are better for me today. I still get incredibly angry for no good reason at all, but now I know I need to keep that anger locked away until I can find an acceptable way to release it. And the same goes for all the other powerfully negative chaotic emotions that flood my mind.
I got to where I was by continually doing what I had always been doing, including drinking. I knew that I had to do things differently. I started by researching exactly WTF Borderline Personality Disorder is, and how others manage to live with it.
Some say that Faint Heart never won Fair Lady. And that you will never get anywhere in life without taking risks. All I know is that being a really cool guy means taking care of and loving others, as well as taking care of and loving myself.
being a square stops you from going around in circles
As I am a true-blue Englishman, with old-fashioned values and very high standards, I am just about as square as it gets. This is a pretty cool track.
But, you want to know a secret? I’m actually a very cool guy, living a really great life.
Please listen responsibly.
square guys don’t often find themselves in places like this ~ well after midnight
mindfulness is a way of non-judgmentally connecting with your life
some things are in the wrong place, but none can know the future
Until pretty recently I had never heard the words mindful nor mindfully and to be honest, for a man of my generation, background, and upbringing, the concepts and processes of mindfulness are fairly alien and unknowable.
However, to each of us there comes a time when we need to look outside of our everyday wants, needs, struggles, and conflicts to find something we can trust to lift the pain and distress from our shoulders. There may come a time when we sink as low as to destroy the relationship we hold most precious, to harm ourselves with booze, drugs, gambling, casual sex, lies and deceptions, and to have thoughts of suicide. Just a few short days ago I had sunk that low. I had arrived at a rock bottom, and I knew there was yet another rock bottom even lower and worse than the one I was suffering.
Now I know that mindfulness is a way for me to live fully in the moment, and by being totally in the now, cutting off worries about the past and stress about all possible futures.
Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different. ~ James Baraz
Mindfulness is a way for me to calmly pay full attention to what is happening to me right now, how I am feeling right now, and how I am reacting to those feelings. Deep down there is a need for me to be calm and at peace with what is happening in the now, instead of worrying and being resentful about what has happened, what could happen, what was and could be bad, what went wrong, what could go wrong, and what is missing in my life. No matter the chaos that is troubling me in my heart and mind, outwardly I need to radiate inner peace.
Being mindful is about me letting the past stay in the past and leaving the future as something that is yet to come about, it’s about being in the now without being hurt, disturbed, and distressed by what might happen, or what has already happened, or what my twisted mind thinks has already happened.
I may never be able to silence the thousands of negative thoughts and feelings that uninvited pass through my mind each day, but I have learned how to slow down my mind, and allow my feelings to come and go without reacting badly to them.
Some say that they don’t need to feel bad about anything they have ever done. And that they have no regrets about the past nor worries about the future. All I know is that I can stop being afraid, I am the master of my fate.
how the disconnect inside my mind feels