The great task in life is to find reality.
We make most mistakes, we suffer the most, and we do the most harm when our thoughts and beliefs differ from reality. It’s when we create stories and assumptions in our own mind which are untrue that we begin on a journey of falsehoods. And, those falsehoods lead to; alcohol abuse, drugs, eating disorders, gambling, heavy smoking, self-harm, casual sex ~ just to find temporary comfort and the illusion that our falsehoods are true. When our beliefs are untrue we can suffer from anxiety and depression, together with a host of other serious mental illnesses such as; Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. The stress of having beliefs which differ from reality causes a raft of physical illnesses, including cardiovascular problems, cancers, diabetes, dementia, and early death.
Yet, there is no such thing as reality.
Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~ Albert Einstein
It seems that in quantum physics and interpersonal relationships there is no such thing as cause and effect ~ no straight line between the past, through the present, and into the future. Even in very close relationships there are often merely shared perceptions of the world ~ and two people may both share perceptions, thoughts, and beliefs which are untrue. If alcohol, drugs, or mental illness is added into the mix then we get dangerous situations such as physical, verbal, mental abuse and co-dependency.
If your life is going down the shitter, if you are prey to addictions, if you suffer from a mental illness ~ then the chances are that your thoughts and beliefs have seriously differed from reality.
Einstein and other serious thinkers may tell us that reality is merely an illusion, BUT on a day to day basis we have to live in whatever reality surrounds us. That means seeing and accepting reality as it is, and not as we wish it to be. Reality is neutral and impersonal. Reality has no expectations and no beliefs. Reality is the true state of things. There is only one past, present, and future reality ~ it is our own perceptions and beliefs which create an infinity of different versions of the past, the present, and the possible futures.
To find true reality is both very easy and very difficult;
- be totally honest with yourself and others ~ reality is truth
- never take things personally ~ reality is impersonal
- do not make assumptions nor create expectations
Some say that reality is an illusion. And that we are all just simulations living in a matrix. All I know is that when my beliefs differed from reality I got myself into some serious trouble.
to discover your ultimate reality requires a lot of deep thought
When you are drinking, the mood swings can be horrific.
I started drinking when I started working in the City of London in 1982. Back then, high-powered banking was a vicious trade, swimming in booze. And my drinking got worse when I began my role in International Finance in about 1990. What do you do at an airport during a four-hour layover? This has left me with a chronic alcohol problem ~ which might not be so bad if my body could still handle booze.
One strong beer will get me incredibly buzzed, and needing another drink or a dozen. It doesn’t happen often, but even once more will be one more time too many.
Even that might not be so bad if I was a happy drunk, but I’m not. If I drink I suffer from terrible mood swings ~ and horrible paranoia, depression, and aggression. I take what I hear in my own mind far too seriously and personally. Being who I am, my bad mood comes out only in words, not anything physical. I suppose that’s one saving grace.
Perhaps the mood swings come even before I take a drink.
I know that I can’t ever touch booze again, and I need to work on that.
With the help of my higher power I may just be successful.
Even one IPA is far too strong for me now.
Immorality is the natural mind-set of all politicians.
Yet another English politician is linked with using the illegal drug cocaine. This time it’s Boris Johnson, the favourite to become next leader of the conservative party ~ the once natural party of government in the United Kingdom. This is no surprise as just about every other contender for this top political job is also a proven (past or present) drug user.
Some say that using drugs in the past should not prevent someone from getting on in politics, effectively holding down a top job, and being a success. Some say that smoking pot does not indicate that the stoner is a bad person, a liar lacking in morals.
I disagree. I contend that anyone who has used cocaine is dishonest, amoral, dishonest, and unethical. To begin with, if these people have ever entered the USA, they have lied to US customs and immigration. And, I don’t want a proven liar as a potential leader of my country. But then, all politicians lie all the time, don’t they?
Some say that all drug users are also addicted to other things; alcohol, gambling, infidelity, casual sex…. All I know is that no male politician, business leader, or top public official, has ever been able to keep his dick in his trousers. In my experience most men and women who use / have used drugs are also heavy drinkers, gamblers, liars, and not averse to casual sex. But then, everyone has skeletons in their closet, don’t they?
Some say that the lawlessnes and knife crime on the streets of London can be directly linked to the non-enforcement of the UK’s drug laws by politicians and officials themselves guilty of illegal drugs use.
Some say that there is noting wrong with a dishonest, amoral, sexually promiscuous person leading a country / business / charity / law enforcement agency. And that using drugs in the past shouldn’t affect someone’s life today. All I know is that I prefer to know ethical, honest, clean and (mostly) sober people in my life
How long before we see this on our streets again?
As legalization spreads, more Americans are becoming heavy users of cannabis, despite its link to violence and mental illness. ~ The Wall Street Journal.
The resting place for alcoholics, bums, and drug users.
The ideas I want to share with you are considered subversive and ant-social. But subversion can be a good thing. Sometimes going against mainstream opinions is not only justified, it is necessary to counter vested interests, prejudice, error, bigotry, and bad science. If an idea or opinion is not universally accepted, that does not per se mean that the different theory is wrong. Galileo was denounced for suggesting that the Earth orbited the Sun.
There exists today an extraordinary denial of the clear links between cannabis use, mental illness, crime, and violence. For what is the real difference between pot, cocaine, heroin, and sundry other dangerous psychoactive drugs, all of which lead to the untimely death of someone?
As many Americans are regular users of dangerous psychoactive drugs as there are Americans who drink booze every day. And the cannabis used today is far stronger than it was is the 1970s, containg more than 10 times as much THC now than it did back then. ( The psychoactive ingredient of cannabis is TetraHydroCannabinoil.)
Some of the effects of THC on the brain are a lowered IQ, an increased risk of psychosis, schizophrenia, paranoia, delusions, hallucianations, losing touch with reality, reduced cognition, impaired and false memories, and a hell of a lot of ‘neural noise’. THC also totally fucks the brain’s pleasure / reward systems, suppressing self control, leading to increased appetite for food, booze, sex, more drugs…..
Using marijuana has detrimental physical effects causing breathing problems, cardiovascular dangers, intense nausea and vomiting, weight issues. If a pregnant mother uses cannabis she is seriously damaging the foetus in her womb.
Marijuana users experience; lower life satisfaction, poor mental health, poorer physical health, and serious relationship issues. These effects are very long term / permanent, even if you are / were an occasional user of this insidious drug.
Personally I would never get involved with any marijuana user, or indeed anyone who abuses drugs of any kind. And, addicts of anything are infinitely more dangerous than someone who is clean and healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
Just a couple of examples of cannabis fuelled violence: #1 the Islamic terrorists who carried out a devastating attack on innocent passers-by on London Bridge on the 3rd of June 2017 were all habitual users of marijuana, #2 the despicable youth who deliberately drove into a young girl in Utah on Friday 31st of May this year was high on a mixture of cannabis, Xanax, and booze. He killed the 11 year old girl on purpose.
Some say that marijuana is a relatively harmless drug. And, that the weed never hurt anyone. All I know is that using marijuana means that someone is going to die an untimely death.
Growing this in England is illegal,
but nobody cares anymore.
A substitute is only ever second-best.
Some of the time I feel as though I’m a substitute for someone else. There is no substitute for true friendship or real love. Sadly, some think alcohol-fueled casual sex is the same thing.
she’s either getting drunk,
or looking for sex with a substitute for her regular partner,
Friends, fun, beer, and BBQ ~ it’s what summer’s all about.
When you read this I’ll probably be in the air, somewhere over the Atlantic ocean, but I’m looking forward to sampling food like this when I eventually arrive at my various destinations in the USA; Orange County, Phoenix, Sedona, Flagstaff in AZ, and probably LA and San Diego Counties too.
From my Californian friends I know that it’s already BBQ season over there, so here’s an essential accompaniment to any grill, a potato salad. Except from Tieghan Gerard at Half Baked Harvest, here we have a wonderful looking pesto potato salad.
Pesto Potato Salad
Another potato side, this time from Diane’s Kitchen; simple twice baked potatoes, and the good thing about this dish is that, (if you need to), you can mostly prepare it the day before and finish it off in the oven or microwave.
Simple Twice Baked Potatoes
From Creme de la Crumb this is a fast, easy, and flavourful recipe you can just stick in the oven or broiler; sheet pan salmon, asparagus, and potatoes. Or you could just do the salmon and asparagus and have it with a dill salad.
Sheet Pan Salmon, Asparagus, Potatoes
Talking of a dill salad, from Julia Moskin at the New York Times, we have this soft herb salad, which just cries out for whatever fresh greens you have growing in your garden. This will go great with any BBQ’d salmon dish.
Soft Herb Salad
Your collection this week is from Olive Magazine which has 62 of the best BBQ recipes, and I especially like this very easy Miami-style blackened fish sandwich with smoked paprika mayo. Cooking fish on the grill is so easy and deliciously cool.
Miami-Style Blackened Fish Sandwich with Smoked Paprika Mayo
And to drink with your early summer BBQ garden party; Beer. Vine Pair has a list of the 50 best bottled beers of 2018, and at #1 the Sierra Nevada Brewing hazy little thing IPA. If I was still a drinking man I’d quaff a few tinnies of this stuff. IPA stands for India Pale Ale ~ Asian Indians, not the American kind.
Sierra Nevada Brewing Hazy Little Thing IPA
clean, healthy, great with tequila
Booze, the cause of, and the answer to, all of life’s problems.
Some people believe that the most reliable way to have fun is to drink to excess. They believe that to go into a bar, or to go to a party, and not drink at least a half-dozen beers or a whole bottle of wine is incomprehensible. And for some, wine, beer, and spirits are all the same, the key is the alcohol. All booze is to be consumed until they feel that buzz, feel like they’re having fun, slurring their words, and knock over a glass.
Go into some bars, particularly airport bars, or any bar in the USA, and you will see women sitting at the bar, usually among a group of men, laughing at risque jokes, watching sports TV, their faces shiny from too much booze. As predatory as any younger man, of which there will be a lot around any woman. If anyone’s drinking Long Island Iced Tea, then they really want to get shit-faced.
No pub is without its regulars, who all have their regular spot, and usual ‘friends’who will comment if they miss a session or two.
In airports, railway stations, shopping malls, and strange towns, real drinkers will either know where there is a good bar or make it their priority to find one. Real boozers will think nothing of striking up an intimate conversation with whomsoever they may find sitting at the bar, and possibly proceed to tell them stuff they wouldn’t ever tell their partner or closest friends. Sometimes they have no idea where they are when they wake up, maybe in the morning.
Older people tend to do their drinking at home, sitting in their favourite chair, maybe watching something asinine on Netflix, steadily knocking back their preferred tipple until they realise they should go to bed, or they make stupid ‘phone calls, or post sexual stuff online, or just fall asleep / pass out in their chair.
You can always tell a boozer. They will be overweight with a lot of unsightly belly-fat, they will turn up at work late in the clothes they wore yesterday, their hands may shake in the mornings, probably they are smokers / gamblers / sexually promiscuous, their trash will always be full of empty bottles, and their car will often be found outside their regular pub / bar.
Some women say that they like beer, bikers, and rock music. And that there’s nothing in their past that they regret. All I know is that it’s best to avoid that sort of female.
A real English pub,
where you will never find a nice girl sitting at the bar.
Booze is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I’m English, but I’ve spent time in bars in most of the major cities in Europe and the United States. You know that you’re spreading it a little widely when you walk into a bar in say ~ New York, just off Madison Avenue, and the barman knows immediately that you drink a stirred vodka martini, or several.
I’ve spent far too much time in bars exactly like the one in this song, except there was usually a slightly inebriated woman sitting at the bar trying to get picked up for casual sex. Sad really. And the piano man was never as good as Billy Joel.
I don’t pick up women in bars,
and I don’t have casual sex.
It’s never to late to be what you might have been.
Most people would like to change some things about themselves. They may want to be fitter, to lose weight, to be more successful at work, to be more successful with the opposite sex, or maybe just to lose the terrible feeling of dissatisfaction they constantly suffer from. Or it might be worse, some people want to lose their Borderline Personality Disorder, or paranoia or schizophrenia…..
One thing is certain, we can never get what we want by trying to change other people, nor by attempting to alter the way the world works. The only thing we can ever change is ourselves. But, look at the upside, when we change ourselves the whole world and everyone in it changes around us.
Reinventing ourselves into a better looking, cooler, fitter, more effective, more successful, less disturbed person is an essential process if we want to grow and flourish.
Here’s the hard thing. To reinvent yourself into the person you really want to be requires some hard choices. You need to be ready to walk away from aspects of your life in which you may have invested much time, effort, and money; the way you look, the personality you project, your existing career, unsuitable friendships, toxic relationships with the opposite sex, a dead-end marriage, the pub where you get drunk and try to get casual sex with anyone you may meet at the bar…..
Worse than that, you may have to forget and hide some of your past; the alcoholism, drug taking, criminal record, gambling, over-eating, casual sex, heavy smoking…..
Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. ~ Charles Bukowski.
To reinvent yourself and have a truly successful life, ask yourself these questions;
- What should I stop doing and thinking?
- What should I start doing, thinking, and being?
- What could and should I do less of?
- What could and should I do more of?
- What could I do, think, and be differently from who I used to be.
Reinventing yourself can be a difficult and lonely path, and it is not a one-shot deal. Truly reinventing yourself is an on-going process you will have to work at, every single day.
Some say they already have everything their heart desires. And there is nothing really wrong with them that a few days sober and clean wouldn’t put right. All I know is that denial is the greatest block to becoming a better person.
Somebody here is going to get into trouble
or maybe they both will.
Cultivate love within you and negative emotions will disappear.
Negative emotions are so all-pervasive that doctors will now prescribe drugs like Prozac and Valium to patients who are merely feeling mild anxiety. Really negative emotions, such as; anger, boredom, confusion, despair, disappointment, fear, grief, jealousy, resentment….. are extremely powerful and painful. Medication, and self-medication such as booze, are no solution whatsoever. Go down that road and you will become hypersensitive to your feelings, and take more and more of the drugs of your choice in an attempt to medicate them away.
This is just treating the symptoms, and it doesn’t work. I should know, for many years I had a pot-mess of those negative feelings running through my psyche. And none of those negative emotions did me any good at all.
So, what takes people back to the doctor, the pharmacy, the drug dealer, and the bar? Not to mention the casino, the refrigerator, unsuitable relationships, and casual sex. Escaping painful thoughts and negative emotions drive people to do stupid things, all in an effort to find a pleasure rush that will ameliorate those bad thoughts and terrible feelings.
There is also the thought that just one drink, or one piece of cake, or one small wager wouldn’t hurt at all. Besides, you’ve been pretty good all week, so one little slip is OK. Forget that, escaping really negative emotions takes a lot more than just one drink, or one night fucking a stranger. And the guilt you will feel, (even if you don’t acknowledge that guilt), will make your bad feelings worse.
Your mind will tell you that you might as well give up on losing weight, staying sober, being good, because it’s pointless. You will never get better, just take another pill and have another drink.
To truly escape those negative emotions and bad feelings you have to find another way. This might involve a 12-step group, talking therapy, or completely changing your lifestyle ~ more exercise is good. Try walking 10,000 steps a day. Mostly, stay away from those people, places and situations that encourage you to do bad things that will only feed your negative emotions.
Some say the way to escape negative emotions is to turn to drink. And that moving home and finding new friends is the solution. All I know is that running away never solves anything.
get out the back Jack
make a new plan Stan
no need to be coy Roy