Category Archives: Lifestyle

In the middle of the night

he was spiritual but never religious

Last night, around midnight, I went walking along the beach.  Far out, about at the horizon, something flew past very slowly.

The Royal Air Force doesn’t have spy planes.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

some say the USAF doesn’t have big ugly fat fuckers anymore either

Tunes on Tuesday ~ Billy Joel

don’t shoot me, I’m only the piano player

Back in the day, when I was young, naive, and innocent, I did have something cool going for me.  I have always had a superior man’s taste in music.  Maybe this isn’t necessarily representative of that.  Although Scenes From An Italian Restaurant is.

Billy Joel’s main claim to fame is that he was one married to the super-model Christie Brinkley.

Please listen without needing a strong drink.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

how lucky was the much younger me that we didn’t get Sports Illustrated in England

and that’s a cheat bikini

 

Random Jottings ~ Dragons

great big mouth and great big teeth and great big goggly eyes

~

evening, not always the best time of day when the dragon lurks in the gloom

~

when you dance with a dragon don’t expect to escape without being burned

~

it was Monday, it was midnight, and the dragon was feeling very annoyed

well, nobody likes being woken up by a knight errant

unless you’re a Lady Fair

~

never stroke a dragon, it might get you very dead

~

‘aww isn’t he cute’ she said

right before the baby dragon turned her to toast

~

love me, love my dragon

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

dancing with dragons

Stupid DIY Mistakes

you’re only human, it’s all right to make mistakes

If you do most things for yourself, eschewing messy decorators, useless contractors, and rip-off garages, then every now and again you are bound to commit one of the classic howlers.  Mistakes you could kick yourself for.  Really stupid mess-ups that leave you thinking; ‘how the hell do I get out of this one…..?’

I might admit to being guilty of some or all of these;

  1. Painting yourself into a corner.  You can either walk on it or wait until it dries.
  2. Touching a spark-plug lead while the engine is running.  If you’re healthy you’ll just get a terrific jolt, if you have a heart pacemaker you might get dead.
  3. Opening the radiator cap on a hot engine.  Getting scalded hurts.
  4. Over-tightening a nut so the bolt / stud snaps.  That is likely to be expensive to repair, unless you know how.
  5. Sawing off the branch you’re sitting on.  The fall hurts.
  6. Sawing off the branch your ladder is leaning against.  The fall hurts.
  7. Taking off the bathroom door handle and closing the door while you’re inside, with no way to open the door to get out.
  8. Putting up a picture / shelf by hammering a nail / drilling into the wall, and going right through a water pipe.  Flooding is expensive to repair, so is the big hole you’re going to have in the wall.
  9. Ditto an electrical cable or gas pipe.
  10. Not learning how to use a spirit level and putting up a shelf.

Today I was guilty of #7.  Just as well I took lessons from a master locksmith.

Some say that we learn by our mistakes.  And that necessity is the mother of invention.  All I know is that I can now build, decorate, install, make, repair….. just about anything ~ and I have the scars to prove it.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I didn’t build that,

but I could

 

Random Jottings ~ Love

cursed are they who get the love they think they deserve

~

‘I love you…..’ he said

‘why…..’ she asked’

because I’m bloody stupid…..’

~

she loved him and he didn’t deserve her

so, eventually he walked away

she didn’t know how lucky she was

~

she was attractive

she was available

she was loving

she was going to be a complete waste of time and money

~

car sex is the opposite of true love

~

love is a drug

but so is sex, alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, opium, viagra…..

~

Fuck Me!  No way, I’m a man and you’re a surprised shade of blue alien

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

she will never love you

not if you try to force it

Random Jottings ~ Faith

only in the darkness can you see the moon and stars

~

worry ends when faith begins

~

faith can move mountains, but dynamite helps

~

faith, hope, and love

and the greatest of these is love

~

faith is what makes men carry on when it all seems impossible

~

some say that when you have faith you have everything

I’ve found that a lot of money helps too

~

a casual walk through a lunatic asylum will tell you

that blind faith doesn’t prove anything at all

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

faith is the light that shines in the depths of distant space 

Songs on Saturday ~ Geordie

howay man, wesa gannin doon the toon

Yesterday I went shopping in Newcastle.  Not only does the place bring back so many memories, it’s also the best place to go shopping outside of Italy.  I always spend far too much there.  Here’s a little song to remind me of the toon.

Although Newcastle never really was my home town ~ I was born in a far more ancient and much smaller pit village.

Please listen with a smile.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the monument

Food on Friday ~ Summer Salads

create healthy habits, not restrictions and rules

It’s hot, it’s sunny, it’s time for a cool drink and a fabulous salad.   After all this self-isolation, comfort eating, and processed food it’s time to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables.  And we all know that salads are brilliant at this time of year.  Preferably eaten in the sunshine and fresh air.

This quick, healthy arugula salad with lemon balsamic dressing is from Erin Clarke, at Well Plated by Erin.  It’s listed as a side dish, but I think many of us would be happy to have this for an al-fresco lunch, maybe with some salmon or chicken added.

Arugula Salad

This is fabulous from The Bojon Gourmet; vegan caprese salad with peaches and arugula.  Here a vegan mozzarella is used, but if you don’t want to be so strict you could choose an alternative.  BTW, I love heirloom tomatoes.

Vegan Caprese Salad with Peaches & Arugula

And now for something completely different from Jessica Merchant at How Sweet Eats; panzanella with marinated chickpeas and chimchurri.  Bread in a salad, now that is different!

Panzanella with Marinated Chickpeas and Chimchurri

Andrea at Cooking with a Wallflower has a recipe for heirloom tomato soba noodle salad, and as I already said I like heirloom tomatoes.

Heirloom Tomato Soba Noodle Salad

Trust Amanda at Chez le Reve Francais to come up with something decadent; an asparagus, broccoli, and endamame salad.  Looks deliciously different.

Asparagus Broccoli and Endamame Salad

Finally this week is from Chunghah at Damn Delicious, how about this grilled Greek chicken salad, served with tzatziki dressing?

Grilled Greek Chicken Salad

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

a Mediterranean Salad

from Heather Christo

Looking Better after Lockdown

it could have been worse, the liquor stores might have been closed

Now that I’m regularly out and about again after a period of government imposed solitary confinement at home, I’ve noticed just how manky some people are looking.  It’s not their fault, being subject to lockdown and being made to work from home does bad things to your health, your looks, and your well-being.  It’s a lack of sunshine, fresh air, exercise ~ and too much junk food, processed food, comfort eating, too much booze, too many cigarettes, and for some too much reliance on drugs.  Add to that the lack of proper sleep, irregular hours, lazing around most of the day in sweats or night-attire, not being able to get to a hairdresser…..

Face it after a period of lockdown, and while we are working at home, it’s possible that we don’t feel or look at our very best.  I know I didn’t, and I know just how much weight I put on.

It’s pretty simple to get back to looking and feeling great;

  • Get out in the sunshine and fresh air as much as you can.
  • Get some exercise.  Walk the 10,000 steps a day.  Learn some yoga.  Use free exercises such as squats, push ups.  Look here’s a link to a 20 minute home workout video.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKfNUOWuZV8
  • Stop drinking so much every day and every night.  Have two or three totally booze-free days every week.
  • Stop smoking all together, forever.  Smoking makes you look old, you stink, it ruins your health.  Smoking will kill you.
  • Stop comfort eating.  Don’t eat just because you’re bored, stressed, lonely, or sad.
  • Stop eating processed food, or eat much less processed food if you can’t get to a good store as often as you’d like.
  • Stop shoveling your food in with both hands, eat mindfully and slowly, chew your food properly.
  • Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables.  Salads are brilliant at this time of year.
  • Drink more cool, clear, cleansing water.  (Fruit juice counts too.)

I am back on a health and fitness programme again, after letting myself go during lockdown.  It’s so depressing being in solitary confinement that I found it hard to keep up good habits.  But you know what?  It doesn’t take more than a week or so to turn things around to a better life.

Some say that just one bottle of wine won’t hurt.  And, that potato chips go so well with wine.  All I know is that the dictum of a healthy mind in a healthy body is the real truth.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

yoga is bloody good for you

Random Jottings ~ Medical

it’s a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice…..’

after a sixteen-hour shift women doctors need to practice standing on one leg

~

nurses, the problem is you can’t live without them, and you can’t always believe them

~

his temperature was up to 105, and there was an icy look in the nurse’s eyes

~

little do the doctors know, but you’re never alone if you’re paranoid

~

never give up on life, if you give up you have no chance at all

~

he was happy before the doctor told him he was sick

~

she had wise eyes in a face of angelic concern

shame she wasn’t a nurse

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

learn how to breathe

it’s one of life’s more important skills

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