If an Englishman were to get run down by a truck, he would apologise to the truck. ~ Jackie Mason
Every Englishman is convinced of a couple of things; that to be born an Englishman is to have won first prize in life, and that it is better to be an English Gentleman than to be a Good Guy from any other country on Earth.
Hollywood actresses want to be admired by Americans, courted by an Italian, have an affair with a Frenchman, but be married to an Englishman. So what makes Englishmen so admired?
- Englishmen are the most charming and best mannered people on Earth, bar none.
- Englishmen are very open to new, eccentric, and weird ideas.
- Englishmen will dress however they please ~ no matter what. The best dressed men on the planet are Italians who are trying to look English, and the English when they’re trying to look Italian.
- Mostly we are very ‘happy go lucky’ and ‘easy going’ in a well-mannered sort of a way, anyway no other men on Earth have any manners at all.
- We treasure freedom of speech above all things, our prime minister can be subjected to some terrible diatribes in the House of Commons. We reserve the right to be extremely rude about everyone except our own Queen.
- The English treat Sundays just like every other day of the week, except we don’t go to work. Our stores are open almost 24/7/365.
- Our sense of fair play and concern for the underdog.
- The Englishman’s sense of humour, which mostly does not translate across the Atlantic. Especially nobody but the English understands irony, rhetoric, or sarcasm.
- Mature Englishmen are the best drivers in the world, bar none. We are frequently horrified by the standards of driving in every other country we visit ~ where they mostly drive on the wrong side of the road anyway.
- The Beatles, Brunel, Byron, Churchill, Cook, Coleridge, Darwin, Elgar, Elizabeth I, Elton John, Fleming, Henry V, Nelson, Newton, Kipling, The Rolling Stones, Shakespeare, Sturgeon, Wellington, Whittle….. And Bond, James Bond
And #11 Mature Englishmen have the very best accent, which is also utterly impossible for a non-Englishman to imitate.
Some say that an Englishman’s way of speaking absolutely identifies him. And that most Englishmen are very conservative and terribly old-fashioned. All I know is that I’m proud to be English.
the Union Flag contains the English cross of St George, the cross of St. Patrick of Ireland, and St. Andrew’s Saltire of Scotland.
Happy Friday, let the long weekend begin.
This Monday is Memorial Day in the USA, and late Spring Bank Holiday in the UK, which means we all get a long weekend. The weather should be good, so it’s a perfect time for some al-fresco dining.
Enjoy these cool recipes.
From Tiffany at Creme de la Crumb we have a recipe for one pan creamy cilantro lime chicken and rice. I really like one pan dishes, but it’s coriander here, not cilantro. Nice by any name.
One pan Creamy Cilantro Lime Chicken and Rice
This is interesting from The Flourishing Foodie, pasta with a tomato vodka cream sauce. I’ve heard of vodka pasta sauces before, but I’ve never tried one ~ maybe it’s time that I did.
Pasta with a Tomato Vodka Cream Sauce
If you like salmon, then try this recipe for honey mustard grilled salmon with avocado basil sauce posted by Tieghan Gerard at Half Baked Harvest. Perfect for Memorial Day. Here in England we have a public hiliday on May 27th too, but it’s called Spring Bank Holiday ~ how boring.
Honey Mustard Grilled Salmon with Avocado Basil Sauce
Andrea at Cooking with a Wallflower has this wonderful dish; pan seared scallops pasta carbonara. This would be great to serve to a few friends on any holiday.
Pan Seared Scallops Pasta Carbonara
Grilled Ranch Potatoes
And finally for this week 65 Memorial Day recipes for your holiday weekend barbecue, from Country Living. I especially like this sweet-and-smoky cedar-planked salmon ~ and if you shop now you can probably get a suitable plank for Monday.
Sweet and Smoky Cedar Planked Salmon
you can buy grilling planks from Amazon
It’s never to late to be what you might have been.
Most people would like to change some things about themselves. They may want to be fitter, to lose weight, to be more successful at work, to be more successful with the opposite sex, or maybe just to lose the terrible feeling of dissatisfaction they constantly suffer from. Or it might be worse, some people want to lose their Borderline Personality Disorder, or paranoia or schizophrenia…..
One thing is certain, we can never get what we want by trying to change other people, nor by attempting to alter the way the world works. The only thing we can ever change is ourselves. But, look at the upside, when we change ourselves the whole world and everyone in it changes around us.
Reinventing ourselves into a better looking, cooler, fitter, more effective, more successful, less disturbed person is an essential process if we want to grow and flourish.
Here’s the hard thing. To reinvent yourself into the person you really want to be requires some hard choices. You need to be ready to walk away from aspects of your life in which you may have invested much time, effort, and money; the way you look, the personality you project, your existing career, unsuitable friendships, toxic relationships with the opposite sex, a dead-end marriage, the pub where you get drunk and try to get casual sex with anyone you may meet at the bar…..
Worse than that, you may have to forget and hide some of your past; the alcoholism, drug taking, criminal record, gambling, over-eating, casual sex, heavy smoking…..
Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. ~ Charles Bukowski.
To reinvent yourself and have a truly successful life, ask yourself these questions;
- What should I stop doing and thinking?
- What should I start doing, thinking, and being?
- What could and should I do less of?
- What could and should I do more of?
- What could I do, think, and be differently from who I used to be.
Reinventing yourself can be a difficult and lonely path, and it is not a one-shot deal. Truly reinventing yourself is an on-going process you will have to work at, every single day.
Some say they already have everything their heart desires. And there is nothing really wrong with them that a few days sober and clean wouldn’t put right. All I know is that denial is the greatest block to becoming a better person.
Somebody here is going to get into trouble
or maybe they both will.
.….you should stop being so carnal, and learn to say no to men. ~ Adelaja
animal anxiety ardour
benefits bitch bitterness
carnal courtesan covet
desire discontent distrust
eagerness ecstacy excitement
feelings fervour fuck
grope grasp grudge
harlot heat hussy
indignation insanity intensity
jaundiced jealousy tight jeans
karma kept kindness
libido love lust
madness mania mistrust
nonsensical nymphet nymphomaniac
obscene orgasmic outrage
paroxysm passion pleasure
rancour risqué romantic
screw sexuality shag slut
tart tolerance tramp
umbrage unhappiness urban-survival
vamp vixen vulgar
wanting whore welcoming
zeal zest zygote
she has animal demons inside her innocently carnal eyes
stroking her leg in public
some carnal women like that
The art of seduction is knowing what she really wants.
I don’t belong here
I can’t get near her
loved her for years
and there is no cure
It’s the same old story,
a fight for love and glory.
Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very far. ~ Thomas Jefferson
Climbing stairs is even better for you than walking.
Regular exercise is good for your body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Exercise not only tires you out, which helps you to sleep, it also increases your energy levels during your waking hours. This increased energy helps your body to fight off illness and chronic diseases, such as type 2 diabetes. Getting a good night’s sleep is also vital to the health of your body, mind, and spirit.
Physically, frequent exercise helps to regularise your weight ~ inactivity is a major factor in weight gain and obesity. Your body uses energy in 3 ways; #1 digesting the food you eat; #2 maintaining bodily functions like heartbeat, breathing, and staying upright. #3 Physical activity, like your exercise of choice, or digging ditches, or chopping firewood. Dieting is very bad at helping you to lose weight, a reduced calorie intake lowers your metabolic rate, which delays weight loss. On the other hand, exercise raises your metabolic rate so you use up more calories.
Exercise also helps to build and maintain muscles and bone, because strenuous exercise releases hormones that help your body to absorb amino acids, which will delay muscle wastage in older people. In older women, regular exercise helps prevent the bone wasting disease osteoporosis.
It has been shown to improve your mood and decrease negative feelings of depression, anxiety and stress, as regular exercise increases the productions of the good hormones serotonin and norepinephrine. Exercise also promotes the production of endorphins which help to produce positive feelings and reduce the perception of physical and mental pain.
Exercise also helps to maintain and improve brain function; for a start your hippocampus, the bit of the brain that’s vital to memory, will stop shrinking and begin to grow, which increases mental function in older adults. Regular physical activity also helps to stave off Alzheimer’s and schizophrenia.
Regular exercise means you will look much better, for a start you will begin to lose all that unattractive bloating and belly fat. Your skin will look better because your body will be producing more antioxidants, and you will have better blood flow which delays skin aging. Looking better means that you’re more attractive to the opposite sex. Not only that but being fitter means that your sexual performance will be better, (women will have more and better orgasms if they take a reasonable amount of exercise).
I was in a bureau de change today, talking with the young lady cashier, (teller), about my walking at least 10,000 steps a day. And she said; ‘is all that walking why you look so young?’
yoga is damn good exercise too
and, I can hold the tree position
Cultivate love within you and negative emotions will disappear.
Negative emotions are so all-pervasive that doctors will now prescribe drugs like Prozac and Valium to patients who are merely feeling mild anxiety. Really negative emotions, such as; anger, boredom, confusion, despair, disappointment, fear, grief, jealousy, resentment….. are extremely powerful and painful. Medication, and self-medication such as booze, are no solution whatsoever. Go down that road and you will become hypersensitive to your feelings, and take more and more of the drugs of your choice in an attempt to medicate them away.
This is just treating the symptoms, and it doesn’t work. I should know, for many years I had a pot-mess of those negative feelings running through my psyche. And none of those negative emotions did me any good at all.
So, what takes people back to the doctor, the pharmacy, the drug dealer, and the bar? Not to mention the casino, the refrigerator, unsuitable relationships, and casual sex. Escaping painful thoughts and negative emotions drive people to do stupid things, all in an effort to find a pleasure rush that will ameliorate those bad thoughts and terrible feelings.
There is also the thought that just one drink, or one piece of cake, or one small wager wouldn’t hurt at all. Besides, you’ve been pretty good all week, so one little slip is OK. Forget that, escaping really negative emotions takes a lot more than just one drink, or one night fucking a stranger. And the guilt you will feel, (even if you don’t acknowledge that guilt), will make your bad feelings worse.
Your mind will tell you that you might as well give up on losing weight, staying sober, being good, because it’s pointless. You will never get better, just take another pill and have another drink.
To truly escape those negative emotions and bad feelings you have to find another way. This might involve a 12-step group, talking therapy, or completely changing your lifestyle ~ more exercise is good. Try walking 10,000 steps a day. Mostly, stay away from those people, places and situations that encourage you to do bad things that will only feed your negative emotions.
Some say the way to escape negative emotions is to turn to drink. And that moving home and finding new friends is the solution. All I know is that running away never solves anything.
get out the back Jack
make a new plan Stan
no need to be coy Roy
There is nothing as dangerous than a man with looks and charm.
lots of hours in the gym
and more hours in front of a camera
It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.
Stress can kill you, but in an older women stress is far more likely to drive her to comfort eating and hence pile on the pounds. For most women less stress, or better stress management, is the key to sustainable weight loss. Of course, for older women the menopause doesn’t help with controlling your weight at all. There is evidence that there are changes in the brain chemistry of a menopausal woman that triggers a shift in her metabolism, causing her to overeat.
Looking for comfort food; cakes, chocolate, pizza, bread, burritos, donuts, (or drinking too much), is a common occurrence among woman of a certain age ~ of any age when stressed if it comes right down to it. These high calorie foods and booze do pile on the pounds ~ particularly unsightly belly fat. It’s all to do with insulin, and this energy dense stuff spikes your insulin levels, which only makes you want to eat more.
The environment doesn’t help much, there are countless fast food outlets, supermarkets promote more expensive energy dense foods, and there’s a bar on just about every street corner. Rule #1 is stay away from fast food places, and rule #2 is that a woman on her own should never, ever go into a bar.
Associating unhealthy food and booze with good times is something your brain will program into itself, and rule #3 is that you must work hard to break that programming. Eating unhealthy food and drinking too much booze doesn’t mean you are cool, in fact quite the opposite ~ you are perhaps pushing being an unattractive lazy person.
The really important thing for women to learn, accept, and practice is how to manage stress. And usually it comes down to:
- Delegate More. Stop letting your family and friends push you into doing everything for everyone.
- Be Creative. People with a creative interest are much less stressed that those who don’t have that worry-free time. Why do you think art therapy is such a big thing in rehab?
- Take a Walk. Walking is bloody good for you; physically, mentally, and spiritually. Aim for 10,000 steps a day.
- Talk to People. And don’t go into a bar to find someone to talk with.
Some say that the change made them overeat. And, that their happy place is the refrigerator. All I know is that fat people often get very sick.
regularly eat healthy and nutritious food
The sea rewards those men who have love in their heart.
Marmaduke likes the beach too