Category Archives: Lifestyle

Random Jottings ~ Vacations

she had going to the wrong place,
with the wrong, man down to an art

~

the trouble with real life vacations is there’s no background music

~

women in bikinis pose, and sometimes that posing is an invitation

or so some men would like to believe

~

‘I promise you I’ll make the sun shine every day…..’ he said

after that it rained a lot

~

it’s unlucky to go back to work the day after you’ve been off

~

never throw a message in a bottle into the sea

you could get arrested for littering

~

it’s good to be bad on vacation

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

my favourite place to vacation

is anyplace by the ocean

Chaos Theory Sucks

it’s disorder, not a decision

this rather chaotic artwork is in the Getty Villa

Here in England we are being governed by Chaos Theory, The Butterfly Effect, and the Chicken Little Syndrome.  Princess Nut Nut, (aka Carrie Symonds), has an unwarranted influence on the Prime Minister, and Michael Gove has lost his marbles.  On leaving the European Union we will have an energy policy completely based on offshore wind farms, and an agriculture policy written by green activists who have never even got their hands dirty.  The official response to the supposed coronavirus pandemic ranges from hysteria to blatant propaganda, all based on whatever the ‘scientists’ say today.

It’s all a bit Kafkaesque, George Orwell, and the Book of Revelations.  It could be worse; I could live in the Police State of Wales, where pubs are not allowed to serve alcohol.

Amazingly, I am now handling all of this insanity surprisingly well.  The social distancing, limited support bubble, no hugging, no sex rules don’t affect me much.  I live alone in my seaside garret, I recently broke up with my long-term long-distance ‘friend’, and my only family is somewhat estranged.  However, I do feel for those trying to live a more ‘normal’ life.  There is frustration and tragedy out there ~ I can imagine how I would have felt if I was prohibited from visiting my dying father in his care home, and I can imagine how I would feel if I was prohibited from meeting my girl-friend.  There was a ’70’s movie called No Sex Please We’re British it’s not so funny anymore.

Back in the day my life was utter chaos, governed by the butterfly effect, all overlaid with a semblance of order.  I had a mantra; I am an utterly cool guy, living a really great life…..  And if you know anything at all you know that any man who has a mantra like that is drowning in a sea of troubles and confusion.  Up until last week I was beset by doubts, fears, frustrations, jealousies, and resentments ~ and that was just the chaos and turmoil running around in my mind like a frantic hamster-wheel.  Up until last week I was mired in a slough of despond.

The really smart people eventually realise that their life is fucking shit, and sooner or later do something about it.  The snag is that whatever you do is going to involve some pain and loss.  Completely breaking with chaos hurts.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

tunnel vision is not a solution to anything

Point of No Return

decide which bridges to cross and which to burn 

flashing your breasts in a restaurant is sexy, brave, and irreversible

Some decisions are just about irrevocable.  When the Roman Legions marched into hostile territory their commanders burned all the bridges behind them ~ to stop the legionnaires from retreating.  Aircraft flying across an ocean will eventually get to a place where they haven’t got enough fuel to go back, the point of no return ~ they can only press on to their destination.  In relationships we say and do things which we can’t ever take back ~ cheating for example, or saying; ‘it’s over…..’  Make a decision like that and there is no going back.  Or like the Roman Legions we have to build a new bridge to try to rekindle a broken romance.

More often than not I’ve seen that final decisions and final words come in the heat of the moment, when emotions are running high, and those are the kind of things that we regret later.  On a long sales trip a man may cheat on his partner, have a one-night-stand with some woman who’s name he can barely remember, and regret it afterwards.  But you can’t undo that kind of thing, we haven’t yet figured out a way to turn back time.  All that guy has left is to decide if he is going to confess to his wife / partner, or risk lying by omission and being found out.  If he confesses he has burned that bridge behind him and can only wait to see what she says and does.

We cannot unmake decisions, we cannot unsay words, and we cannot not do something we have already done.

Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.  ~  Keri Russell

For example, it may seem a small decision to regularly hang out in bars, but eventually people who regularly hang out in bars have sex with some stranger they’ve just met in a bar.  Decisions are like avalanches, one small lump of snow sliding down a hill creates a landslide that ends up burying a town at the bottom of the mountain.  And yet we make small decisions every minute of our lives, and most of them are final and irrevocable.  We get to a point of no return and just can’t ever go back.

Most of the time relationships run on automatic pilot.  There are unspoken rules, ethics, morality, honesty, openness, trust, affection, friendship, and love.  When we decide to do something that breaks those rules then we have burned our bridges behind us, and it’s up to another whether or not we will ever be allowed to rebuild those bridges.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

pulling up your skirt to show your thighs to a room is a point of no return

A Choice of Catastrophes

always choose the lesser of two evils

cure global warming by setting fire to the sky

The world is going to hell in a handcart, mostly because governments and their unelected officials have responded in a very male, linear-thinking manner to the supposed coronavirus pandemic.  They have seen a problem and tackled it with gusto, without any thought whatsoever for the wider consequences.  It’s like the man who has an ant infestation in his home and sorts it out by burning down the building.  Perfectly logical if your logic is based on Boolean Algebra and the only possible answers are yes and no.  That is brutal male thinking taken to extremes.  I’m certain that to cure supposed global warming some male scientists would be happy to set fire to the sky.

This highlights the biggest problem that besets most relationships; men think in straight lines and women think in patterns.  This is why most men don’t talk much and most women like to talk.  It’s also why if there’s a problem in a relationship a man will want to find an immediate solution and most women will want to talk about it.  If you don’t understand that then you can’t have a real relationship with the opposite sex ~ all you can have is a deal, a contract, a set of compromises neither of you actually understand.  What you have is called a Transactional Relationship.

If you have a transactional relationship it’s most likely suffering right now.  Being thrown closely together because of lockdown, or because there is just nowhere to go, means that established positions get blurred and it’s difficult for both of you to fulfill your allotted role.  What you might realise is that both of you aren’t actually very happy being together.  Or that if you are going to stay together things will have to change.

And, this is where it falls apart.  Suppose one of you is now drinking too much.  Most people will fall right back into that transactional model; ‘if you stop drinking so much, I will…..’  or the more likely; ‘if you don’t stop drinking so much I’m walking out…..’

You have a Choice of Catastrophes.  We can all stay with the shit we have now, or we can set off into the unknown.  We can stay with our partner and regret it.  We can leave and regret it.  We can believe all this COVID-19 crap and have our civil liberties taken away, or we can ignore all the facile advice and instructions thrown at us by governments and health officials and maybe die of the fucking coronavirus.

It’s up to each of us to choose the lesser of two evils ~ but choose wisely.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

when in doubt, trust your gut

Songs on Sunday ~ Huey Lewis & The News

I guess we’ve had our ups and downs

If a man is very lucky, then maybe just once in his life he will meet someone who is just perfect for him.  And from that day on he might sing in the shower, and he may even sing something like this;

Does this remind you of Fantasy Island?

I guess they couldn’t get a Grumman for this video.

Please listen with a smile.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I’m so happy to be stuck with you…..

Scenes on Sunday ~ Take the Long Road

what can be better than a great road
with a cool girl riding shotgun?

~

 

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

where all great road trips come to an end

 

Days of Future’s Past

a shared memory is worth a thousand words

sometimes, silence is golden

Reality is not what we think it is.  People are not who we believe them to be.  Memories are not real, and past only exists in memories.  The future doesn’t yet exist, despite that almost everything we do is directed by what we want the future to be.  And were it not for all that then the present would be very different from the Now we create for ourselves.

Suppose your much loved partner tells you something dark, difficult, and perhaps reprehensible about their past?  The usual reaction, particularly the way men usually react, is to take that thing in your partner’s past and bring it right into the present.  We can get angry and jealous about something that happened before we even knew our supposedly much loved partner.  Retroactive Jealousy is real, powerful, and destructive.  People also get angry with people who hurt their partner in the past, and then because they can’t do anything about that they get angry with their partner instead.  Dragging the past into the present changes the Now, and then most likely goes on to change the future as well.

Conversely we can take our wants, needs, dreams, and desires, which only exist in an infinite number of possible futures, and drag them right into the present to create expectations.  We may have a great relationship with someone, but then we think of the way we want things to be, and create for ourselves a slew of unrealistic expectations.  What we have is what we have.  What we want and desire only exists in the future.  Basing the Now on what might happen in one of an infinite number of possible futures is a recipe for insane unhappiness.

Some ancient cultures believe that the Past, Present, and Future exist and happen all at the same time.  Quantum physics pretty much says that too.  But if we live in the days of future’s past we are going to get very unhappy very quickly.

To avoid being continually angry, jealous, miserable, resentful, and single it’s important to live in the Now.  To do that we have to learn acceptance and understanding.  We have to stop being jealous and judgmental.  We might want to learn about meditation and mindfulness.

Trust me.  I have made every single mistake I’ve talked about above, and then some.

I am very lucky I am not alone and lonely in this Now.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

lonely, unloved, alone

Songs on Saturday ~ Lighthouse Family

Ocean Drive ~ Sunderland to South Shields

The location looks exotic, and is.  The duo sound exotic, and aren’t.  In reality it’s all as English as cricket.  I didn’t know that when I bought the album, funny how one can be fooled into seeing and hearing what one expects…..

Hell, In SoCal people think I’m Californian, and I’m a Geordie Boy.

Please listen critically.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s the North Sea

not the Pacific Ocean

Cancun Trip

if at first you don’t succeed, try something else

gently relaxing 

You may be aware that here in England we’re suffering from 28 days of very strict coronavirus lockdown, which comes to an end on December 2nd.  Except that’s not the end of it ~ when this period of miserable self-isolation ends we will be entering an indeterminate period of lockdown by tiers.  Wouldn’t you know it, the whole of the North East of England is in the strictest tier 3, which is almost as bad as the bloody terrible state we are already suffering.

Of course the whole country is in an uproar, and I do not blame anyone for complaining in the bitterest terms.  Prime Minister Boris Johnson won’t be able to get elected as a dog-catcher after this.  And as for the sanctimonious twerp of a Health Secretary Matt Hancock ~ as his name says what a wanker.

Except, I’ve found an escape clause.  There is nothing to stop me from going to an airport as long as I don’t stay overnight, and there’s nothing to stop me from boarding an aeroplane.

So, at 11:15 on Sunday December 6th I’m flying to Cancun, to stay in the utterly fantastic fabulously expensive, all inclusive, Royalton Suites Resort and Spa.  How cool is that?  Two weeks in the sun instead of two weeks of miserable lockdown in the cold, grey North of England.

Any volunteers to be a travelling companion can apply in the comments section.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it’s tough at the top

a carnal woman

maybe she was that way because she was sad and lonely

~

leaving a carnal, sexual, woman

one battle over, one victory won

the long struggle that will end

one day in honesty and freedom

not for her, not for years to come

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

heading to her favorite bar

to look for a much younger man

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