Category Archives: Lifestyle


I found am ear ring on my stairs today.  It reminded me of the moon on better days.

jack collier


Fucked Up

It’s not about self-improvement, it’s about acceptance.

I am imperfect.

I make big mistakes.

I am judgemental and cruel.

I do the best I can and still fuck up.


jack collier

Acceptance and Understanding

Any fool can know.  The point is to understand.

In any real relationship there comes a point where the past raises its ugly head, and that’s where things get complicated.  The problem is that if the ugly past is not accepted and understood, then the future is going nowhere except into a slow-motion train wreck.

What is needed is real acceptance and understanding of the simultaneous past / present / futures.  For without that there is no point in continuing any relationship.

What is acceptance, and what is understanding?  There is a big difference between reluctant acceptance ~ which is what most people descend to ~ and true honest understanding.

To reach the nirvana of true and honest understanding, there must first of all be true honesty.  And, in this life true honesty is as rare and fleeting as a double rainbow.

I have never known real honesty in a relationship.  Perhaps excepting now.


jack collier

Pacific Surf

The Pacific Ocean is nothing like the cold North Sea.




jack collier

Long USA Road Trip

I’m beginning to recover from the 3,500 road trip I had in the USA recently.  There were some strange places on the route.  Like Beaver in Utah.


Downtown Las Vegas.


And Big Bear Lake.


The girl riding shotgun did get very buzzed in Big Bear, but that’s more down to the altitude than anything else.

I would not have missed this trip for the world.

jack collier

Christmas Cruise

I asked my girl to go on a Caribbean cruise this Christmas She said no.  How does that work out?


jack collier


Never forget there are three types of people in your life…

I’ve just got back from the gym, tanning booth, massage, sauna, manicurist…

It all seems morally wrong.

But I have found a charity ~ and it’s to do with helping women.

It is fucking amazing what you can get for money.

Funny how all that seems worse.

I think I’ll take a trip to Tibet and learn some real yoga.


Man practicing yoga in Himalaya mountains, with view of Machapuchare, Nepal

jack collier

Scenes on Sunday ~ Rock Stacks

Love never falls, people fall in love…

on the best beach

there is always a better looking guy

who can make better stacks of rocks than I








jack collier

pictures taken with a Lumix

cognitive dissonance

Our wounds are the best part of us.

Late at night, or early in the morning, a man may become to see things though a glass, darkly.

Right now someone I care for is in a place I do not like, with people I do not believe I like, and in the long run I firmly believe she will be hurt by where she is and the people she is with.

And yet, I wish to support her in what she is doing, and in the life she is living.

And there’s the rub.

Supporting a woman you care for, when she is on a road leading to more pain and hurt, is a no win equation.

It’s called cognitive dissonance.

It’s not high school, it’s not art school, it’s real life.

So, what do I know?

I can’t paint, I can’t play the guitar, and I don’t like groups of people.

Group therapy, families, false friendships, and the opinions people who get rely on these things, is a huge pile of shit.

So life is a Gothic Novel.  In the end, you are on your own.


jack collier

unjustly accused

The average man ~ mostly harmless.

All men must have experienced that utter bewilderment when they thought they were doing something good, and that those they cared for would appreciate it, only to be accused of a wrongdoing they cannot comprehend.

I had that yesterday.

So now I don’t know what I did wrong, or where I went wrong, or even what I can do to put it right.

It hurts.

You know what that does to a man of any age?  We get defensive.  We mentally circle the wagons.  We can become difficult.  We can get the ‘go away and leave me alone’ and ‘I don’t love you anymore’ thing.

At heart men never grow up.  At heart men are not so tough, all we want to do is be around people we like and who like us in return.  Men are continually looking for approval and positive reactions.  Men are always trying to impress and show that we can do good things.

Yesterday I bombed out of all of that by mentioning in this blog that I wanted to go on a Caribbean cruise at Christmas without getting approval in advance from everyone close to me.  Wish I could have done, but people are not always just a ‘phone call away.

I got some passive aggression and some downright rejection in response to my innocent idea and blog post.

So now I feel dirty and worthless.

I’m not in love anymore, that was just silly phase I was going through.

I am just a lost soul, looking for my home.

Man the lifeboats men, this ship is sinking.


jack collier

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