Category Archives: Manage Yourself

tired and bored with myself

make a new start, get up and get out there, there is naught to fear

I don’t feel pleasure

there is no real pain

waking up is pointless

too much useless leisure

far too much cold rain

the days are countless

thoughts are mindless

nothing to lose nor gain

just isolated loneliness

it’s time to begin again

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

it’s time to laugh again

 

10,000 Steps a Day Challenge

you know where you’re starting, you just have no idea where you’re going

Doctors, dietitians, and fitness gurus are sold on the idea that walking 10,000 steps a day is good for our health and well-being.  It’s an arbitrary number, there’s nothing special about it, but it has the benefit of being easy to remember, and for most people walking 5 miles in a day, every single day, is a hell of a big thing.

It turns out that 5 miles is the most that even moderately active people can manage, and given that it’s going to chew up a couple of hours of you day, that’s the most time most people can allot for fresh air and exercise most days.  Luckily, walking is one of the three best types of exercise you can get.  Some respected scientists say that walking may be one of the most powerful medicines available.

Walking is man’s best medicine.  ~  Hippocrates

I started back on the 10,000 steps a day thing on May 1st, after spending weeks in lockdown, getting sicker and sicker every day.  Self-isolation indoors will kill you more certainly than the caronavirus will.  The fucking malevolent politicians and health bureaucrats who are telling you to stay at home are utterly wrong.  Go out and get some fresh air and exercise.

After a very shaky start on May 1st, when I really struggled to walk the half-mile to my nearest supermarket and back, I now feel Damn Good.

In the past 7 days I have walked 89,130 steps, (I have a pedometer), which is 44 and a bit miles.

Maybe it’s time I turned around and went home.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

in the Parachute Regiment they call a long walk with full packs ‘yomping’

The Art of Attracting Women

Faint Heart could never win Fair Lady

This is all an artificial construct, because a very sensual, intelligent, emotionally mature, and very grounded woman can never be attracted by techniques, or schemes, or cunning artifice.  The only person who could ever deceive that woman, or make her date an unsuitable man, or get into a less than ideal relationship is herself.  And, women can be very good at fooling themselves, not that they would ever admit that, (hardly ever anyway).

There are innumerable works out there which will purport to tell a guy how to pick up a woman, how to regularly get casual sex, how to manipulate women, how to fuck them and leave them, and how to use them.  Perhaps the deepest and most thorough treatise on the art of using women is The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida.  I can only stomach this book for a couple of pages at a time.

So, to the truth, and assuming you are not James Bond.  To attract a sensual, intelligent, emotionally mature, and very grounded woman;

Be the very best version of yourself you can possibly be.

  • Get healthier and fitter.  Exercise, eat right, get some sun.
  • Look as good as you can.  Haircut, manicure, teeth, and manage any facial or other extraneous hair.
  • Dress as well as you can ~ appropriately for the place and occasion, but find your own style.  Always dress up, rather than dress down.  Pay attention to your shoes and tie.
  • Control your addictions.  Stop smoking, don’t drink much at all, don’t gamble, don’t overeat or eat junk food, and FFS do not use drugs.
  • Learn some English good manners.  Almost all American men have appalling manners, but not as bad as Germans, Japanese, and most other Asians or Hispanics.
  • Learn how to hold a conversation, and for most men that means learning how to listen to her.
  • Read some interesting books, learn some interesting things to talk about ~ most women are very uninterested in sports.  Find out what she is interested in and learn about that.  Have a wide and deep knowledge base, but never ever bore her with what you know.
  • Accessorise well. Apartment, car, watch, pen…..
  • Learn about money, manage your money well so you can always pick up the tab if you need to, but never ever flash your cash around.

But, most of all, care about her.  If you do not genuinely like her and care about her then you are wasting both of your time.  I’m not talking about love, that should usually only come deep into a relationship.  Caring about someone is different.  She is a person, not a sex object.  If you want a sex object find a hooker or a slut.

Some say there is no such thing as ‘the art of attracting woman’.  And that any woman you can get that’s willing and breathing is the one you want.  All I know is that there is nothing so precious to a man as real and honest friendship with a woman.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Bond makes up his own rules

Things To Do During Lockdown

the devil finds work for idle hands

If you are unlucky enough to find yourself in lockdown / quarantine / self-isolation, then you will know just how boring, enervating, and soul-destroying the long, long days can be.  Unless you are so ill that all you want to do is sleep, you will probably be tempted to do three things; drink too much, eat too much junk food, watch too much mindless TV.  If you are so inclined you may also be tempted to smoke too many cigarettes, and over-indulge in your other drugs of choice.

None of the above activities are such a good idea.  May I make some alternative suggestions;

  1. Make a plan.  With your partner, friend, long-distance friend(s) make a plan for how you are going to survive and thrive during this present coronavirus crisis.  Make a plan for what you are going to do after lockdown is over.  Make a plan for what you are going to do with the rest of this year / next year / next 3 years.  Me, as soon as air travel is allowed I’m flying to the USA to visit a friend, and we are going to take a long road trip.
  2. If you are well enough take yourself for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine.  Just stay at least 6 feet away from any other people you may meet.  Take your dog if you have one.
  3. Exercise at home.  There are hundreds of exercise sites on the internet.  If you’re not feeling so good then try learning yoga, which is an excellent form of exercise.  If you’re not well enough for that then look for exercises you can do sitting down.
  4. If you are lucky enough to have a garden, get out there and get your hands dirty.
  5. If you aren’t well enough for that, then sit on your balcony, in your garden, outside your apartment.  Take no notice of any officious neighbours, and assume that the police are too busy to be jerks on your behalf.
  6. If your mind is working well enough, then read something challenging, preferably while you are sitting out of doors.
  7. Even if you don’t feel much like eating, then just make yourself cook something you will eat.  Use whatever ingredients you have in the larder, refrigerator, freezer.  Or find a recipe and go to the store, and that will also get you out of your place.  (or order on-line, or get a friend to go to the store for you)
  8. If you’ve been very unwell then you probably look like hell.  Get yourself clean and tidy, put on some cool clothes, and launder all the dirty stuff.  Change your bedding and launder that too.
  9. If you’re anything like me, not doing anything much for 10 days or so, then your place is most likely a hell of a mess.  Clean it all, including your kitchen and bathroom ~ and I mean really clean it.  Me, I did the garret in half-hour stints, because after a half hour I had to sit down and rest a while.
  10. Work on your relationships.  If you live with a partner, then give them some TLC.  If you live with your kids then find some fun things for them to do with you.  Repair any damage you may have done when you were depressed, angry, and insane.
  11. If, like me, you have long-distance relationships, then use the internet and telephone.  Or even write your to your friend(s) in an old-fashioned pen and ink letter or card.
  12. Learn something new.  There are innumerable on-line courses.  A friend of mine is studying Late Medieval Devotional Art through a free Harvard course.  Me?  I’ve reading all about how to survive the end of the world….

The thing is you can be utterly depressed and miserable during this period of enforced self-isolation.  Or, you can make the most of this time so that you emerge from lockdown a better, fitter, healthier, more grounded person than you were in March this year.  I know which one I’ve chosen.  I’ve tried the insane misery route, trust me, it doesn’t work.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

all of the above applies if you’re working from home

Tunes on Tuesday ~ The Animals

it’s official ~ lockdown causes insanity

I’ve got to get out of the garret.  I’m physically comfortable and safe here, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually I’m hurting.  There is serious concern for the mental health of people feeling trapped and lonely during this present medical emergency.  It seems that lockdown / self-isolation isn’t good for the soul.

It’s not even as though I can stay in touch with my friends on-line because my internet is very flaky.  Presumably there are no engineers working to fix whatever is going wrong.

This song is pretty heartfelt for me.

Please listen sympathetically.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

this is what self-isolation is doing to me

Coronavirus Personal Abyss

suffering from the coronavirus is akin to drowning in despair

~

Like thousands of others who have been or are still very ill I have not had a proper test for the coronavirus, just a differential diagnosis that says I’ve had / have this manky thing.  Personally, I know that I am now recovering from COVID-19, and let me tell you it’s no fun.  The virus beat me down physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and it’s doing it’s worst to make my recovery as difficult as possible.

Waking up in the morning, very early, I feel pretty good and busy myself doing ‘normal life’ things ~ some fresh air and a walk is healthy for me.  But by mid-morning I start to feel weary, and by evening I’m back to feeling fucking dreadful again.  I go from having supernatural powers to running into a brick wall ~ very fast.  Recovery from the coronavirus seems to be a two steps forward and one or two steps backwards kind of thing.

Not only do I need to save the world by staying in and watching TV, I need to save myself by resting and mostly trying to watch TV, listen to music, or read something light.

Trust me, if you have been ill, then you are going to need a lot of rest, for quite a while.

Stay safe, and look after yourself.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

recovery also means rest

So, I Might Die Soon

to the enlightened mind death is but the next great adventure

There is much worry and anxiety surrounding the medical emergency that has the coronavirus at the root cause of it all.  My opinion is that there is more worry and anxiety than this nasty little bug deserves.  Thus far in the UK about 27,500 people have been tested, at the last count 460 people tested positive, of whom an unfortunate 8 have died.

To put this in perspective the population of the United Kingdom is about 66,870,000 souls, and as a percentage of that 460 is so nearly nothing as to make no difference.  Italy, which seems to be the worst affected European country has a population of 60,480,000 , of which 12,000 have tested positive for the virus and 827 have died, (at the last count).  Again this is a minuscule portion of the total population.

Statistically, and by all the laws of probability, the chances of my dying from the coronavirus would appear to be somewhere between slim and none at all.  Particulary if the various governments and health authorities pull their collective fingers out and do something effective about containing / controlling / curing this illness.  In any event, by all the laws of chance I should be dead already.

Men die for these main reasons;

  1. Heart Diseases
  2. Cancer
  3. Accidents and Unintentional Injuries
  4. Stroke
  5. Lung Diseases
  6. Diabetes
  7. Influenza and Pneumonia, (and add the coronavirus in here)
  8. Suicide
  9. Kidney and Liver Diseases
  10. Alzheimer’s Disease and other forms of Dementia

The story isn’t as simple as that.  Many of these deaths are more or less self inflicted.  Men do lots of bad and stupid things which will lead to an early death.  For example; boozing, drug abuse, eating an unhealthy diet, being filthy dirty and unclean, gambling, obesity, smoking, unsafe sex, and leading a life of crime and violence.  It may well say on the death certificate that some guy died of liver failure, but it probably will not say that said liver failure was brought on by drinking a pint or so of vodka a day, every single day.

I have good reasons to want to live longer and be fitter later in life, accordingly I don’t do any of the bad and stupid things in the list above; (although I have been known to drink far, far too much booze on occasion, I am now utterly sober).

Similarly, your chances of not catching, or catching and surviving the coronavirus will be much better if you don’t do any of the bad and stupid things from the list above.  To survive an illness, first be fit and healthy.  I have always been reasonably fit and I survived double pneumonia, pleurisy, and breaking 5 of my ribs along the way.

Some say that we could all stay at home and not see another soul until the coronavirus scare blows over.  And that only one in 5 people who catch this thing will need medical care.  All I know is that even if I catch this thing the chances are I will only get a mild illness.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the Tarot Death Card doesn’t really mean what a lot of people think it means

 

Dog Eat Dog

it’s a dog eat dog world, and she’s just a kitten

The world can be a dog eat dog, the devil take the hindmost kind of a place.  The world I lived in for most of my career was like that ~ the top dogs in International Finance take few prisoners and think little of the people they step on to get to where they want to be.  So much of life is like that these days.  There is little honour and less trust among cheats, liars, and thieves.

We cannot even say that the dogs and rats, those who lie, cheat, and steal have some kind of character defect or mental illness ~ not unless you say that all politicians, bankers, businessmen, lawyers, millionaires, and billionaires have some kind of mental illness or character defect.  The top dogs in this world knowingly set out to do anything and everything it takes to get what they want.  And what the leaders of the pack want is money, power, influence, adulation, women, sex, and disciples ~ they want instant gratification.

Along they way this kind of man will do some despicable things in the name of competition and success ~ Judas and Brutus were not the first nor the last men to turn betrayal to a fine art.  Usurping and betraying your king is an almost sure-fire way to success ~ although that kind of sweet success often turns to bitter ashes.

When you strike at a king, you must kill him.  ~  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

There’s the rub, when you betray someone, when you cheat, lie, and steal you must succeed at the first attempt, or else beware of the consequences.  There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded beast.  And in our day to day lives there is nothing more dangerous than a wronged wife / husband / partner / friend…..  Revenge may well be a dish that’s best served cold but if he’s a dog or she’s a bitch then their revenge may well be violent and instant, taken in the heat of the moment.

Weak people seek revenge.  Strong people forgive.  Intelligent people ignore.  ~  Einstein

The real top dogs in this world only ever seek revenge if it will give them some advantage other than destroying whomsoever betrayed them.  But a romantic / sexual partner who believes that they have been wronged will almost always try to destroy their ex.  If you don’t think that’s true then just ask anyone who has ever been stalked for weeks / months / years.

If you want to be a top dog, if you want the women, money, power, adulation, and instant gratification then all you need is to be adaptable, intelligent, educated, skilled, well-read, immoral, and unethical ~ depraved, evil, and wicked helps too.  But WTF, I managed it without resorting to most of the negative stuff, but that almost killed me.  A top dog is always a killer ~ metaphorically at least.

Some say dog eat dog, rat eat rat, and that the crocodiles always come out on top.  All I know is that success does not always come to him who waits.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the Gods strike while the iron is hot

My Life’s Plan

at dawn, at the morning of the day, all things become clear

Conscious thinking is what we do when we don’t know what to do.  When you don’t really know how to drive a car, you have to think about it.  When you can drive your subconscious mind takes over and leaves your consciousness free to do other things ~ like try to work out WTF you’re lost.  For 95% of the time your subconscious mind is running your life.

Yesterday, while I was out taking my meditative walk, my subconscious mind came up with an idea ~ a plan for living the rest of my life.  Except it wasn’t just an idea, it was the whole plan, almost fully formed.

Take up one idea.  Make that one idea your life ~ think of it, dream of it, live on that idea.  Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone.  This is the way to success, that is the way great spiritual giants are produced.  ~  Swami Vivekananda

This plan is simple, complete, integrated, mindful, and self-contained.  There are only 5 parts and each one is important to the whole;

  1. Live a Healthy Life.  It is health that is the real wealth, and not pieces of gold and silver.  Gandi.  For most of my years my lifestyle was unhealthy: too much work, too  much stress, too much booze, not enough sleep, not enough exercise, and no spirituality whatsoever.  Now I have an eating plan in a Paleo Diet, I walk 10,000 steps a day and do a little yoga, have a good sleep routine, and I am sober.
  2. Travel Far and Wide.  The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.  Saint Augustine. I have travelled the world, but mostly I have done it with my eyes and heart closed, and mostly I have travelled alone.
  3. Enjoy Time with my Friends.   ‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.  Charles Lamb.  For most of my years I pushed people away, now I hope I can welcome new friends into my life.  And what better way to travel the world than with a special friend.
  4. Words and Pictures.  Write what should not be forgotten.  Isabel Allende.  I do not need to work but I need to be creative.  Reading, writing, photography ~ hell I may even learn to paint ~ people, places, things, ideas, beliefs…..
  5. Spirituality.  A healthy mind in a healthy body ~ Juvenal.  And this is the crux of the whole plan.  I lived in a straight-line, goal-oriented, competitive existence, and I was wealthy in money, miserable, sick, and suicidally depressed.  I cannot learn spirituality, I need to live it.

I believe in this plan, that it will work for me.  Thinking about it, my plan doesn’t work without integrating all of these 5 elements, but I don’t need to add a number 6.  Even Love is encompassed and runs through the whole of it

Some say that no plan survives contact with reality.  And that they could live happily if only…..  All I know is that tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

evening, a time of rest and reflection

 

If At First…..

if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again

be strong of heart

Contrary to what is often taught in American schools, this mantra has nothing to do with the USA.  The real legend is that it’s all about Robert the Bruce and a spider, before the Battle of Bannockburn in June 1314.  The moral is that dogged persitence, bloody minded perseverance, or as Churchill said; ‘Keep Buggering On,’ may just snatch a notable victory from the jaws of defeat.

If you can’t snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, fight even into it’s belly.  ~  Bangambiki Habyarimana.

Giving up when things get difficult is why some people complain that life has handed them a raw deal, why many relationships fail, and some people become alcoholics and addicts.  I walked out on a brilliant career when things became too stressful, got divorced when marriage was too complicated, and drank like booze was going out of fashion because real life was just too painful.  And you know what?  If you give up then your life will get worse, all you are doing is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.

Giving up trying, giving in, accepting defeat comes in many forms.  If you have serious problems and you just give up, for example by staying in a truly terrible relationship because that’s easier than doing something positive, then if you think your life sucks now it will soon become more awful than you thought possible.  Trust someone who has been there; no matter what rock bottom you have it there is another even worse to come ~ if you give up.

There is a huge difference between not trying again, and trying something different.  There are two mantras to remember here; never reinforce failure, or if you like don’t throw good money after bad…..  And, as Einstein is supposed to have said; ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result…..’  There is no point in trying something again and again if every time you try you are severely punished.

For example an abused wife may keep on going back to her husband for one more try at a happy marriage, but each time she does she is abused again.  Or even worse, at the Battle of the Somme in July 1916, English generals kept sending their men ‘over the top,’ trying again and again to break the German lines.  Each time they tried, they suffered horrific casualties.  You can try, try, and try again to break down a brick wall with your head and all your are going to get is a headache ~ or dead, mostly dead.

Two things to remember;

  1. Bloody minded perseverance will often rescue what looks like a lost cause.
  2. Sometimes it’s better to walk away and do something else instead.

Some say that successful people know when to chuck in a losing hand.  And that if you are knocked down get right back up again.  All I know is that Faint Heart never won Fair Lady.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

even if you think you’re beat

rise like a Phoenix and live again

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