Category Archives: Manage Yourself

The Inner Compass

You will find your true life path when your inner compass is steady.

Each of us has an inner compass deep within our subconscious mind, and this controls and regulates everything we do, each and every hour of every single day.  The snag is, sometimes our inner compass doesn’t point to the moral and ethical equivalent of North, and sometimes our inner compass just spins out of control.

We also have maps, models, and frameworks in our subconsciousness.  And these maps, models, and frameworks allow us to make sense of the world and our family, our partner, our work, and the all the rest of our environment.   These maps, models, and frameworks are what allows us to have any kind of a relationship with others because they help us to make sense of our body, our heart, our mind, and our spirit and intuition.  These maps, models, and frameworks are our inner world.  But, each of our inner maps are likely to be very inaccurate and incomplete, and have such helpful annotations such as; ‘Here Be Monsters’, and ‘Impassable Swamp’.  Our models and frameworks are often completely wrong too.

Our inner compass, and our maps, models and frameworks are most likely to be utterly and totally wrong when we are under intolerable stress, or have suffered from a recent, (or not so very recent), trauma.

Because we are the Captain of our own ship, trying to navigate our way through this complicated, complex, and dangerous sea of life, we need to put our maps, models, and frameworks in order, we need to find a guiding light ~ sometimes we just have to junk our existing picture of the world and life, starting again with clean sheets of paper.  We need to take our authority back to ourselves and ignore or reject all the authority that has been imposed upon us.  The patterns and authority imposed upon us is always negative and self-destructive.

We need to become the very best version of ourselves that we can, and take back our self-belief, self-confidence, and self-will.  We need to rediscover our truth and purpose, and we can never do that if we rely on outdated maps, inaccurate models, and broken frameworks.

In order to restore health and equilibrium to ourselves, to fix our broken compass, and to make new maps, models, and frameworks to help us make sense of the world we need to realise that much of what we are doing and have done falls into the realm of negativity and self-destruction.  In order to rebuild something better we need to junk the old negative ways of thinking and allow new and better into our lives.

This is easy.  This quest to become the best version of you that you can possibly be, the way to becoming the true Captain of your own ship, will just require you to work at it for every waking hour for the rest of your life.  Regaining control of your inner compass, your maps, models, and frameworks will be a never-ending story.

Some say that self-improvement and self-development books, podcasts, videos, conferences, and retreats are a waste of time.  And, some say that there is nothing at all wrong with them and the way the react to the world.  All I know is that the harder and longer I try, the better I become.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

hold true to a better Goddess

hold true to a cleaner and more positive sea

grasp your own future

Dreams do not have deadlines nor commitments…..

Hardly anyone is really in control of their own life.  This is doubly true if you happen to be an ‘average person’, who has a job, mortgage, and normal financial commitments ~ face it you have to turn up for work every day, whether you like it or not.  Add in a family, who undoubtedly will have expectations of you, and your time is not hardly ever your own.  (And, I wasn’t even thinking about the ‘average person’ who is married with children.)

The ‘average person’ can’t really have dreams and desires, unless their dreams and desires happen to fit in with what others expect of you.

Just supposing you want to take a year off, buy an old school bus, turn into a camper van, and see as much of backroads America / Europe, as you possibly can in that year.  What do you think your partner / family / friends / employer / neighbours are going to say about that?

I’ll tell you that the likelihood is that their views and words will range from incredulity to negativity, to downright hostility.  That is if you are an ‘average person’ living a ‘normal life’.  Ergo, to protect yourself you would probably not ever have that kind of empowering dream and desire.

Instead your mind will be filled with things such as; ‘what can I do about my partner / sister / brother…..?’ or ‘how can I afford to pay my bills’, or ‘how can I get a better job?’ or ‘what can I have for lunch / dinner / supper?’

None of us can do anything about our past, except reframe the way we think about it.

Most ‘normal’ and ‘average’ people can do very little about what’s happening to them in the present.  The chances are that, for them, today will be pretty much like yesterday.  If they have to work for a living the chances are that any working day will be exactly like the working day before.  Even their thoughts and conversations will have a mind-numbing repetitious banality.

However, and this is fucking damned important, we can all do something about our futures.

NOBODY has to settle for the status quo.  If there is something or someone in your life that’s sucking the life out of you, then get rid of it / them.  If your marriage is crap / abusive / boring, then get out of it.  If your job is horrible and badly paid, then leave and get another job ~ there’s nothing like being out of work to put a real edge on job hunting.

There is only one problem ~ most people will never leave their ‘comfort zone’.  If that’s you, then it’s time you grew up and grasped your own future with both hands ~ carpe diem.

As for me?  I’m a really cool guy, living a great life.  I can do just about whatever I want, just about whenever I want ~ within my own pretty rigid code of ethics, and the fact that I don’t ever want to get arrested again.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

That van was in Palm Springs

Life is an Illusion

There is no such thing as ultimate truth, truth is what we make it.

Why do you think the world is so complicated?  Why are our lives so difficult?  Why do we become addicted, angry, depressed, ill, stressed?  Why do we fall in and out of love?  Why do we love those who don’t love us?

If Einstein and other deep thinkers are to be believed, none of it is real anyway.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.  ~  Albert Einstein.

Einstein’s words reveal a deeper truth.  Everything we feel, see, hear, touch, and taste is within our own minds.  All of our innermost emotions and all of our truths exist only within our own minds.  Even the deepest emotions such as fear and love are created within us.  We actually have to learn to see and hear.  We have to learn to fear fire, snakes, lions, and abandonment.  We learn to love and we learn to hate somewhere before we are seven years of age, and then we spend the rest of our lives perfecting those emotions, up to the point that they can destroy us.

The deepest feelings we build within ourselves can destroy us, just as Dr. Frankenstein was destroyed by the monster he created.

There is a truism heard within 12-step meetings such as Alcoholics Anonymous;

Most folks are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.  ~  Abraham Lincoln, (allegedly).

Thus it follows that most folks can be just as addicted, angry, depressed, ill, stressed….. as they make up their minds to be.  For sure most people can be just as in love, or not in love as they really want to be.

But, and as Shakespeare said; ‘therein lies the rub’.  Reality is a habit, it’s what we accept, it’s what we’re used to, it’s what works for us right now.  So, if you’re an alcoholic it really is just a habit, albeit one that’s killing you, and something about that habit works for you right now.

Changing a deep-set habit is fucking damn difficult.  In fact your whole life is a set of deep-rooted habits, and changing all those really is fucking difficult.

But I’ve done it.  I changed my whole life and all of my ways of thinking around by believing these few words I said to myself; ‘I am a really cool guy, living a great life.’

If you are prepared to do whatever it takes you can change your whole life, including what is true or false.

Your reality is what you make it

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

the value of money is illusory

cash has no real intrinsic value other than that which we give it

 

Vacation Introspection

If you do what you always did, then you’ll get what you always got.

As I don’t need to earn a living these days, some may say that my whole life is just one long vacation.  Actually it doesn’t quite work like that ~ when I’m at home in the garret my time seems to be filled with lots of ordinary and everyday stuff.  Whereas, now I’m here holidaying on Lanzerote I seem to have much more time to just sit in the sunshine and let my thoughts drift where they will.

It seems that I needed to resolve some issues, to reject the things that have blocked me in the past; the people, the choices, the mistakes, the material possessions I thought were so important…..  It seems that I need to move away from the material world towards spiritual and emotional growth, and that I need to place less importance on relationships that do not, and perhaps never will, provide what I need and desire.

I need to awaken the strength within me, the spiritual self, the masculinity, ready to fight back against all the negative influences, the misleading promises, the illusions and delusions about what real happiness looks like for me.

There are some dreams and personal ambitions I want to fulfil, particularly in terms of interpersonal relationships, and particularly sexually.  I need to fully assert myself to reconnect with my own internal courage, fortitude, and drive.

This vacation has allowed me to see that I need to progress, for the physical desires I have allowed to be unfilled to really come to fruition, that it’s time to leave behind negative people and influences, even if those people have been very close to me in the past.

It’s time I told people exactly what is on my mind, and it’s time for me to take charge and stop shying away from speaking the truth of my innermost wants, needs, desires, and dreams.

Some say that you can get 80% of what you want for just 20% of the efforts you’ve been putting into a relationship.  And that if you give some people an inch they will take a mile.  All I know is that if people don’t like the truth they can live their lives without my help.

~

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Lanzerote is pretty nice

Have a Dream

If you can dream, and not make dreams your master…..

The day that we stop wanting, needing, wishing, and dreaming is the day we stop walking the warrior’s path, and begin to take that long dark road towards disappointment, despair, and death.  I know some people who seem to have no dreams, and I know a few people who are living in a dark nightmare. People with no dreams often also seem to be hell-bent on self-destruction through drink, drugs, gambling, self-harm, unsafe casual sex, suicide attempts….. I can recognise those people because I used to be one of them.

Some say that being negative, depressed, filled with character defects, is a condition to be pitied and that we should try to understand without condemning or blaming.

You know what?  I don’t agree with that idea at all.  Unless Life has thrown at you some terrible calamity, like having to live in a war zone, then if you’re an addict, an alcoholic, a hopeless gambler, chain smoker, depressed, suicidal, and hell-bent on being unhappy on the road to self-destruction ~ it is mostly your own fault.

There seems to be something in the subconscious mind of most people that says; ‘if I am really suffering I will get attention and love…..’  This is understandable because when we were at our most impressionable, young and vulnerable, then if we were suffering we would most likely get extra attention and love from our parents / principal carers.  Angst and shelf-harming practices such as alcoholism are learned behaviours.

On the other side of the coin, if as a child we were always bright, happy, full of inventive play and dreams, then mostly our parents would leave us alone.  They would leave us alone except for their own horrible negativity when we told them of our dreams, and they said; ‘you can’t possibly do that…..’

Dreaming of doing bigger, better, more exciting and more adventurous things, of meeting the partner of our dreams, or dreaming of having a wonderful life, is often driven from our own subconscious mind by the things we were told as an innocent child.

I know all this because it all happened to me, up to and including until a few weeks ago, when I had one of those revelatory moments we sometimes have in life, and I realised I could dream, and make my dreams come true.

So don’t give up on your dreams.  Don’t think you are a hopeless case.  You can be who you want to be and do whatever you want to do ~ stop believing that you’re trapped, and start wishing and dreaming again.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I’m dreaming of sunshine this Christmas

Being Emotionally Intelligent

Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. ~ Charles R. Swindoll.

I wanted to share with you something I learned on a four-day retreat in the high desert of New Mexico.

When we just react, mostly we react unconsciously, without thinking about things at all.  That isn’t at all surprising because for 90% of the time our subconscious mind is running the show, meaning that our consciousness is only in charge for 10% of the time.

It’s a bit more complicated than that, because our unconscious mind never forgets anything.  Therefore, when we just react, our subconscious is using behaviours that we learned before we were about seven years of age.  All the negative stuff we learned from our parents, older siblings, teachers, and other adults is deep down in there, and it will come out when we least want it too.

When you feel threatened, judgemental, jealous, envious, angry….. you will probably react in ways you learned as a child.  It’s not you that’s having an argument with your husband / lover / boss, it’s the 7-year-old child arguing, using negative behaviours you learned before you knew any better.  It’s worse than that, because it seems that our subconscious mind has very little self-control.

Our subconsciousness / unconscious mind, which runs the show for 90% of the time, is really a pretty stupid, non-selective, totally emotional, feminine autopilot, (that’s not sexist ~ the conscious mind has mostly male characteristics and subconscious mostly female).  The subconscious will accept ideas as truth, no matter how negative or destructive, and never fails to express ideas that have been impressed upon it.  It’s our subconscious that will let us drink too much, use drugs, have casual sex…..

But, and here’s the good thing, our conscious, objective male mind can dominate our subconscious mind, if only we truly know what we need and desire  We also have to learn to talk to our subconscious and knowingly impress feelings onto that part of our brain.

If you can meditate, then you’re half way there.  If you know how to achieve heart ~ brain harmony, then you’re just about all the way there.  Talk to your heart and your words and feelings will reach your subconsciousness.  But, use very simple, positive and unambiguous phrases.  Don’t say; ‘I want to be a really charismatic guy…..’  because your subconscious mind will accept the thought that you want to be, and do nothing about that thought / feeling.  Instead say to your heart; ‘I am a really charismatic guy…..’ and suddenly you are charismatic.

I turned my whole life around by saying and believing; ‘I am a really cool guy, living a really great life…..’

Honestly, our subconscious has a very emotional and unintelligent way of controlling our lives, mostly by reacting without there being any conscious or selective thought in the process.  Therefore, to have an emotionally intelligent subconscious, we must first turn to our consciousness and impress its intelligence upon our inner mind.

There are a hell of a lot of books and stuff on the internet about all this, so the thing to bear in mind is to keep things simple, because 90% of our minds is quite stupid really.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Burning Bridges

It’s no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.

Perhaps all organised and populist civilisations are sick, or perhaps it’s just the one I seem to be living in right now.  And it may be that there’s something wrong with me, rather than most of the rest of the people on this planet.  But whatever the background noise may be, there is no doubt in my mind that this 21st century society is unwell, psychotic, and insane ~ and perforce I have to live in it.

Maybe I should just stop paying attention to the news, which is usually filled with trivia about the celebrities of the day, crap about catastrophic anthropogenic climate change, political scandals, and sports.  None of which is going to make one iota of difference to my life.  I strongly suspect that nothing you read in the news today will make a scintilla of difference to your life either.

It would seem that I have a simple choice; to fully engage with modern society and everything in it, or just reject society, burn my bridges, and go on my own way.

No choice at all really.

Anyone with true self-awareness is going to realise that the only path through life that is right for them is their own.  That they should strive not to fit in with the habits, mores, and flawed ethics of modern society, but instead strike out on their own.  Not being part of the herd gives one a feeling of liberation and being in charge of what is happening in your life ~ of being a leader and not just another sheep in the flock.

For me, it is time to break free of the limitations I have accepted for myself, by trying to conform to what I ‘think’ I should be doing; what family, friends, and the rest of society says I should be doing.  Stop trying to ‘fit in’, stop giving to charity, think before I pay my bills, and stop saying ‘sorry’ all the time.

Some say there is safety in numbers.  And, that daring to be different is something only bad people do.  All I know is that I’d rather be a wolf than a sheep.

Dare to be different and discover just how much you can enjoy life.

Don’t be a prisoner of society.  Just don’t get yourself arrested.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

big charites are rotten to the core

10 things successful people do

Life can take us down unexpected and difficult paths.

Through painful experience, I have learned that to be very successful in your life, there are some things we must do.  Most of them are difficult, bordering on the impossible, but all of these 10 things listed below are actually achievable.

There are two types of people who will tell that you cannot make a difference in this world; those who are afraid to try, and those who are afraid you will succeed.  ~  Ray Goforth.

I firmly believe that these are the most important of the rules we must follow in order to overcome life’s challenges, and ultimately win out:

  1. Stay Healthy.  It’s almost impossible to be successful if you’re often ill, spending time in bed, or in hospital.
  2. Overcome Addictions.  Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Gambling, Smoking….. to name perhaps the most dangerous of all possible addictions.  If you drink too much you will lose almost everything.  If you drink and gamble you will lose everything.  If you drink, gamble, smoke, and take drugs, you will lose everything, and then you’ll die ~ horribly
  3. Stay Within the Law.  If you get involved with illegal activities, including taking drugs, drink driving, illegal gambling ~ sometime or other you will have a run in with The Police.  A criminal record does your chances of living your dream life no good at all.
  4. Say Goodbye to Toxic People.  Toxic relationships will make you unhappy, corrupt your mind and soul, and prevent you from realising how much better things can be.
  5. Seek Out, and Take, Good Advice.  If you’re physically ill see a doctor, if you’re suffering mentally see a counsellor, and if you’re just struggling seek out your closest and wisest friend.  Whatever advice you’re given, really take it to heart.
  6. Do Not Waste Time or Money.  Too many people throw their money away without thought.  Almost everyone wastes their time on unimportant activities.  A fool and his money are soon parted.  Time is the most precious resource we have.
  7. Stay Romantically and Sexually Faithful.  Affairs, casual sex, multiple partners, using sex-workers, are all going to waste your time and money.  You will get into trouble, and if you’re married, you will be asked for a divorce.
  8. Keep Learning.  Nobody can know everything, but most people don’t even try to improve their mind and knowledge once they finish their formal education.  The internet and a million books are out their, and something you learn may just give you the edge you need to become successful.
  9. Focus On Things You Can Control.  God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  And, don’t let me try to change people, because that never works.
  10. Follow Your Dreams.  Dreams are the fuel for your success.  Without dreams there can never be any meaningful and lasting success in your life.

Some very smart people can ignore some of these rules, some of the time, and still be successful.  But you can’t ignore all of these rules, all of the time, and still have a hope in hell of making a success of your life.  And, never worry about failure, just make certain that you pick yourself up and start again.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Marmaduke is a success,

and he loves Bentleys and Jaguars

 

 

Time is Running Out

Time is probably infinite.  Your Time and my Time is very finite.

Time goes by, after all that’s the basic job of Time.  What Time does best is pass.  And, the ordinary scientist, working in an ordinary universe, will tell you that time passes at a constant rate.  To all practical intents and purposes that’s true – except for when it’s not.

For a start, perfectly respectable physicists can prove that Time passes at different rates depending on things like how fast you are travelling, and how much gravity is affecting you.  As it goes, that’s only interesting to people who fly a lot and astronauts.

What’s more interesting to everyone is how fast time seems to pass in different situations, with different people, in different places, when we are doing different things.  For example, in airport departure lounges Time crawls by like a wounded fly – unless you are late for your flight, and then Time just blasts past.

If you are with the one you love, and she / he loves you too, then each moment lasts a delicious eternity, but eternity lasts  just a heartbeat.  Conversely, if you are in an abusive / dysfunctional / one-sided relationship, then the minutes last forever.  Trust me, I’ve been there more than once.

When you are having a brilliant vacation, (as I am on Crete right now), then the days pass in a blur, and all to soon it’s over.  Then Time brings you back down to Earth with a bump when you’re in an airport departure lounge again.

As we get older, we come to realise that our personal lifetime is short, finite, and will end probably sooner than we would like.  That’s Time’s final cruel joke.

Some say that we have commitments and responsibilities…… that we  should spend our Time doing what’s expected of us, to the best of our abilities.  And, that sometimes Time drags through boredom, ennui, and lassitude.  All I know is that the rest of my time on this Earth is going to be filled with adventure, fun, love, sex, and really wild things.

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Time for me to leave my comfort zone behind forever

Project: Jack Collier

I you try you risk failure, if you don’t you ensure it.

In order to truly become a better man I’ve had to fall back on some of my past strengths and abilities.  Back in the day, I was paid stupid amounts of money to invent, develop, organise, and run major projects ~ ergo I’ve decided that I should treat my becoming the better man as a project.  Think about it, it sort of makes good sense.

It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person.  ~  J.R. Rim

This self-improvement, and self-development project would seem to have the following elements;

  • Embrace change to avoid slipping back into my old, negative patterns of behaviour.
  • Have more confidence and self-reliance in my own innate abilities.
  • I should always speak up for myself, and always speak the truth, strive to communicate well with others, especially with those I care for.
  • Keep my close relationships in focus, neither neglect the people I care about, nor have unrealistic expectations of them.
  • Conversely, have increasingly ambitious expectations of myself, and what I will be able to achieve.
  • Get some balance and stability into my life ~ and I may need a lot of help with this.
  • Remain grounded, balanced, and in control of my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
  • Be in touch with the Universe and accepting of the realities in every area of my life
  • Develop the endurance to plan and successfully achieve long term wants, needs, goals, desires, dreams, and ambitions.
  • Get fitter and healthier so that I have the controlled energy to make the fullest success of Project: Jack Collier.

Written down like that it seems I have a lot to work to do, and I’m certain that if I thought harder I could add more bullet points to that list.  But, 10 difficult things to work on is more than enough for now.

My Life is changing day to day, sometimes in small ways and sometimes in quite scary ways.  I need to find my path forward, and be the captain, master, and director of my own life.

It’s not about taking control of my life in the sense that I am trying to control everything and everyone around me, it’s about me deciding what it is that I really want, and then striving with everything I have to get it.  I I really want something, I should let nothing stand in my way.  My life is a reflection of my choices, and how I use my strengths and abilities to achieve success.

The goal of life purpose is not what you will create, but what it will make you into for creating it.  ~  Shannon L. Alder.

Some say that success is getting what you want.  And that happiness is wanting what you get.  All I know is that my strength will not come from winning, my strength will be the result of trying very hard.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

parasailing was so far outside of my comfort zone that I didn’t try it

I should have

 

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