always choose the lesser of two evils
cure global warming by setting fire to the sky
The world is going to hell in a handcart, mostly because governments and their unelected officials have responded in a very male, linear-thinking manner to the supposed coronavirus pandemic. They have seen a problem and tackled it with gusto, without any thought whatsoever for the wider consequences. It’s like the man who has an ant infestation in his home and sorts it out by burning down the building. Perfectly logical if your logic is based on Boolean Algebra and the only possible answers are yes and no. That is brutal male thinking taken to extremes. I’m certain that to cure supposed global warming some male scientists would be happy to set fire to the sky.
This highlights the biggest problem that besets most relationships; men think in straight lines and women think in patterns. This is why most men don’t talk much and most women like to talk. It’s also why if there’s a problem in a relationship a man will want to find an immediate solution and most women will want to talk about it. If you don’t understand that then you can’t have a real relationship with the opposite sex ~ all you can have is a deal, a contract, a set of compromises neither of you actually understand. What you have is called a Transactional Relationship.
If you have a transactional relationship it’s most likely suffering right now. Being thrown closely together because of lockdown, or because there is just nowhere to go, means that established positions get blurred and it’s difficult for both of you to fulfill your allotted role. What you might realise is that both of you aren’t actually very happy being together. Or that if you are going to stay together things will have to change.
And, this is where it falls apart. Suppose one of you is now drinking too much. Most people will fall right back into that transactional model; ‘if you stop drinking so much, I will…..’ or the more likely; ‘if you don’t stop drinking so much I’m walking out…..’
You have a Choice of Catastrophes. We can all stay with the shit we have now, or we can set off into the unknown. We can stay with our partner and regret it. We can leave and regret it. We can believe all this COVID-19 crap and have our civil liberties taken away, or we can ignore all the facile advice and instructions thrown at us by governments and health officials and maybe die of the
It’s up to each of us to choose the lesser of two evils ~ but choose wisely.
when in doubt, trust your gut
every man must face his own secret sorrows
the lonely sea and the sky
Normal life is a thing of the past for many of us. Here in England we are in the middle of yet another lockdown. We can’t go anywhere, meet with our friends, enjoy a meal out, or even go to the pub because they’re all shut. In fact, the official guidelines are that we should stay at home unless going out is absolutely essential ~ such as a trip to the doctor, pharmacy, or to buy groceries. It’s the middle of autumn here, it’s turning colder, and yet we are not even supposed to be able to buy a warm jacket or sweater.
The rules and regulations are enforced with varying degrees of enthusiasm by the police, (depending on where you live), neighbour is spying upon neighbour, and supermarkets have grown a crop of security guards to enforce the social distancing and face-mask rules. It’s turned into a Kafkaesque version of 1984. It’s got so that a lot of us English are spending a lot of time alone, locked up in our own homes, solitary.
Being alone for an extended period isn’t necessarily a good thing. Few enjoy solitary confinement, because that’s what lockdown means for many, many people. Days, weeks, and months alone with very little to do can prey upon the mind, make grown men brood and ponder their own inadequacies, make a man face his own secret sorrows and regrets. The ghosts of the past come crowding in, snuffing out the future.
Some feel like throwing it all away, sales of alcohol have soared, and mental illnesses torture some sorry souls. And there is very little help or relief to be found. There is no immediate end in sight either. In England this current lockdown is due to end on December 2nd, but nobody in the real world knows what will happen after that. Prime Minister Boris Johnson probably doesn’t know either because Carrie Symonds hasn’t told him yet.
All a man can do is to keep on keeping on. Find something difficult and intellectual to do. Discover a new creative interest. Look for an idea to get excited about. Think about a new business venture you can do from home. Read something challenging. Don’t just sit there, take some action, put lots of energy and enthusiasm in it. Most of all get outside in the fresh air, walk a few miles and let thoughts drift toward better times.
get outside and enjoy the fresh air
that and sunshine will kill a virus
solitude and isolation are hurtful things beyond human endurance
abandoned and worthless
The first lockdown started here on March 23rd this year, and since then normal human contact has been severely restricted by edict of our governments, health officials, and petty bureaucrats. Here in England we’re a couple of days into yet another lockdown, strictly enforced by the police, covid marshals, and security guards. Some people even believe the lies Boris Johnson is peddling and are self-isolating. Sad buggers.
Whatever way you look at it, for most of this year most of us have been isolated and lonely. I don’t give a
fuck fig how dangerous or not COVID-19 is, being isolated, lacking in the normal warmth of human contact, is very dangerous. Even for hardened and dangerous criminals the United Nations have banned the use of solitary confinement for longer than 15 days, and said that being without human contact for longer than 22 hours a day is unacceptable. And yet, for day after day, month after month, innocent people have been made to suffer a cruel and unusual punishment through no fault of their own.
We don’t heal in isolation, but in community. ~ S. Kelley Harrell
Whether they have the coronavirus or not, people will get sicker and sicker. Many will suffer unimaginable pain, many will die before their time. High blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, malnutrition, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression. paranoia, cognitive decline, dementia, Alzheimer’s, muscle wastage, alcoholism, attempted suicide…. Death
Other than praying that people like Johnson, Hancock, Vallance, Whitty, et al either come to their senses or burn in hell, what can we do? For a start ignore every lie these disingenuous bastards are peddling. Then change our own mindset.
You are creating your next moment based on what you are feeling and thinking. That is what’s real. ~ Doc Childre
COVID-19 is far less dangerous than an average winter flu ~ and if you don’t believe me spend an hour doing some online research. Your inner potential has no limits. It is up to you to decide how much you want to make of it. You can drift from day to day believing the crap being peddled by governments, health officials, and the mainstream media ~ but you are the captain of your own ship, so take responsibility.
It is high time that we all got back to living a normal life. Get outside in the fresh air, get some exercise, reach out to your friends ~ nobody except yourself can really hold you back from anything.
you can rot on the shore all you want
I will not accept any more lies
don’t waste your life by reinforcing failure
even Marmaduke couldn’t get me to see sense
We all do it. Something isn’t working out so we try harder. We really suck at our job, so we put in more hours. Our relationship is going to hell in a handcart so we pick ourselves up and try again. Our partner stole from us, cheated on us, abused us….. so we forgive them and start over. This is called reinforcing failure, and it’s the biggest mistake anyone can make in Life, Love, and War. And, nobody really understands it.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again. ~ Robert the Bruce 1314
I was taught that quotation at school, all about the fable of Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland, and the spider. A lot of the time it’s very true that if we at first fail at something we should go back and work harder until we succeed. That was certainly true for me at grammar school, where it turned out that I could barely write and certainly couldn’t spell. As the three R’s are the whole basis of modern life I had to work very hard at English and Calligraphy until I became something of a wordsmith.
If there is no choice whatsoever, then we have to keep trying until we succeed. And yet, sometimes no matter how hard we try we are quite likely to waste our lives repeating the same mistake over and over again, because what we are trying to achieve is never going to work. Einstein knew this, and famously said;
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein
If what you are doing isn’t working, then you have to try something else instead. The problem is that people are creatures of habits and routines, who mostly don’t want to leave their own comfort zone. Most people don’t move house, change their jobs, or become of a different church and faith. Not often anyway.
Relationships are different ~ around half of marriages in the USA end in divorce. Some things in relationships are too intolerable to bear. But 80% of divorcees remarry and about 5% remarry their ex. Unless they do something very different in their new marriage then that’s going to turn to dross too.
Me, I spent years trying to make a toxic relationship work, by trying harder…..
Some say that when a relationship isn’t working it’s time to find someone else instead. And that you can’t expect someone to change just to keep you happy. All I know is that, in the relationship I just walked away from, I did the very best I could ~ most of the time.
Einstein also said;
reality is an illusion
albeit a very persistent one
be inspired to think, act, and believe in ways that fulfill your potential
every morning is a new chance to enjoy life
I am not the sum of my past mistakes, nobody is perfect
I am at peace with everything that has happened in my life
I will neither judge myself nor the other people in my life
we each have the power to change our lives for the better
I am good with who I am, and proud of who I am becoming
I can meet each new challenge with fortitude and enthusiasm
my partner is very attracted to me; physically, spiritually, and emotionally
at the end of every day, I know that I will have done the best that I could
if you try to please everybody, you end up pleasing nobody
Unless you are a sociopath or a narcissist you will tend to want to make other people happy. If you are in a romantic relationship you will tend to want to please your partner. If you are a child you will tend to want to please your parents, teachers, and just about every other adult you interact with. There are exceptions; we all have bad days when we couldn’t give a fuck, there are some people we don’t care about at all, and there are some other people we dislike so much that we are at the other end of the people-pleasing spectrum.
And then there are those of us to get sucked into the role of a people-pleaser, continually doing what other people want us to do, always saying yes when we should be saying no, and trying to find ways to ingratiate ourselves with people who take us for granted. We become the epitome of a people-pleasing fool because there is something in our past that made us eager to please someone in authority over us, (and / or someone we loved), for the sake of our own safety, sanity, or just because that was the only way we would ever get any attention or affection.
For a lot of my life I was trapped in the role of a people-pleaser, because my feelings of self-worth were so low as to be almost non-existent, and I was always looking to others to validate myself. My self-esteem was whatever other people told me it was, and that was doubly so for women I liked and / or was in a relationship with. I was a prisoner.
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. ~ Lao Tzu
Once someone consciously or subconsciously realises just how much they are being taken for a fool, then they have some chance of escaping that submissive, subservient, complaisant role. And, other people will not like that at all. I stopped being a people-pleasing serf a little while ago, and some said a lot of unpleasant things to and about me. Yet the people who truly cared for me were happy for me, and encouraged me to go on steadfastly walking the true warriors path of independence, courage, confidence, determination, and kindness.
Some say they exist to please their master / mistress. And that if they didn’t take care of everyone else in their life, then who else would? All I know is that you can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.
just because she enjoys being submissive doesn’t mean she is someone’s doormat
a man’s main task in life is to know who he is
and then to know who he can become
For most of our lives we were who other people told us to be. ‘Be a good boy…..’ my parents told me. ‘You will have to work harder than this…..’ my teachers said. ‘You need to put in more hours…..’ my bosses ordered. ‘You should dress differently….. my ‘friends’ advised. And unconsciously I made the choices to do what I was told. Eventually, some of us were unlucky enough to make the unconscious choice to go along with whatever we thought our girl / significant other / partner wanted. In becoming what other people wanted us to be we stopped making our own decisions, our whole reality became skewed, and we lost ourselves.
In my life I’ve made a lot of bad choices because I didn’t know who was, didn’t know what I wanted, and didn’t know who and what I wanted to become. The good choices I made were all logical, dispassionate, intellectual ~ if I could weigh it, measure it, or count it, then it would work for me. The bad choices were all emotional, based on desires, gratification, wants, and lusts. All of those choices turned to dross.
A while ago I made the conscious decision to be myself, and that meant throwing away a lot of crap, in fact it meant throwing away almost everything of who and what I used to be. That’s OK because it’s easier to build something from the beginning than it is to modify something to try and make it work.
Dare to be what your best self knows you ought to be; dare to be a bigger human being than you have ever been. ~ Norman Vincent Peale
Some say that when people change promises are broken. And, that if you insist on going your own way, then you will go alone. All I know is that I will be myself, no matter what. I will decide for myself just who I am and who and what I want to become.
this was part of who I truly was and am, and other people didn’t like it
celebrate yourself, don’t wait for others to celebrate for you
I was told when I was born, my parents told me when my birthday was even though they didn’t celebrate it much. Years later, when I needed to prove who I was I discovered that I was a day older than I’d been told, which means I’m a little bit Pisces as well as a lot of Ares. If you believe in astrology, spirituality, and witchcraft that explains why I’m sometimes a messed up artist / engineer.
Growing up in a coal mining village, going to school at Bog Row Junior Mixed and Infants, living a ground down life in a dirt poor town, did not encourage me to look forward to anyone’s birthday. Being the shy kid at birthday parties does not win medals and kisses.
In lots of ways I am an average guy. I do not remember dates of things women find important; anniversaries, Valentines, Thanksgiving, Birthdays….. (Actually St. Valentines Day is hard to forget, my florist reminds me.) Ergo, in my diary I write down the dates of my friends’ birthdays, starting with a note the week before that says things like; Faye’s Birthday next week. I am sorry if you women think that is crass, and that I need to be reminded to send flowers, but at least I try.
When I was working for a living my secretary would remind me of my birthday because it was expected that I would buy cakes for everyone in my office, and book a table in the good wine bar for a favoured few. Champagne and nibbles, no work that afternoon, taxi to the train station for girls a little too drunk to walk.
I know, shallow and crass, But shallow and crass was all I had.
Some say that when you are born describes who you are. And that an Ares male is not to be trusted around women. All I know is that I did not forget my friend’s birthday, no matter what she believes.
Happy Birthday Sweetheart