If you do what you always did, then you’ll get what you always got.
As I don’t need to earn a living these days, some may say that my whole life is just one long vacation. Actually it doesn’t quite work like that ~ when I’m at home in the garret my time seems to be filled with lots of ordinary and everyday stuff. Whereas, now I’m here holidaying on Lanzerote I seem to have much more time to just sit in the sunshine and let my thoughts drift where they will.
It seems that I needed to resolve some issues, to reject the things that have blocked me in the past; the people, the choices, the mistakes, the material possessions I thought were so important….. It seems that I need to move away from the material world towards spiritual and emotional growth, and that I need to place less importance on relationships that do not, and perhaps never will, provide what I need and desire.
I need to awaken the strength within me, the spiritual self, the masculinity, ready to fight back against all the negative influences, the misleading promises, the illusions and delusions about what real happiness looks like for me.
There are some dreams and personal ambitions I want to fulfil, particularly in terms of interpersonal relationships, and particularly sexually. I need to fully assert myself to reconnect with my own internal courage, fortitude, and drive.
This vacation has allowed me to see that I need to progress, for the physical desires I have allowed to be unfilled to really come to fruition, that it’s time to leave behind negative people and influences, even if those people have been very close to me in the past.
It’s time I told people exactly what is on my mind, and it’s time for me to take charge and stop shying away from speaking the truth of my innermost wants, needs, desires, and dreams.
Some say that you can get 80% of what you want for just 20% of the efforts you’ve been putting into a relationship. And that if you give some people an inch they will take a mile. All I know is that if people don’t like the truth they can live their lives without my help.
Lanzerote is pretty nice
If you can dream, and not make dreams your master…..
The day that we stop wanting, needing, wishing, and dreaming is the day we stop walking the warrior’s path, and begin to take that long dark road towards disappointment, despair, and death. I know some people who seem to have no dreams, and I know a few people who are living in a dark nightmare. People with no dreams often also seem to be hell-bent on self-destruction through drink, drugs, gambling, self-harm, unsafe casual sex, suicide attempts….. I can recognise those people because I used to be one of them.
Some say that being negative, depressed, filled with character defects, is a condition to be pitied and that we should try to understand without condemning or blaming.
You know what? I don’t agree with that idea at all. Unless Life has thrown at you some terrible calamity, like having to live in a war zone, then if you’re an addict, an alcoholic, a hopeless gambler, chain smoker, depressed, suicidal, and hell-bent on being unhappy on the road to self-destruction ~ it is mostly your own fault.
There seems to be something in the subconscious mind of most people that says; ‘if I am really suffering I will get attention and love…..’ This is understandable because when we were at our most impressionable, young and vulnerable, then if we were suffering we would most likely get extra attention and love from our parents / principal carers. Angst and shelf-harming practices such as alcoholism are learned behaviours.
On the other side of the coin, if as a child we were always bright, happy, full of inventive play and dreams, then mostly our parents would leave us alone. They would leave us alone except for their own horrible negativity when we told them of our dreams, and they said; ‘you can’t possibly do that…..’
Dreaming of doing bigger, better, more exciting and more adventurous things, of meeting the partner of our dreams, or dreaming of having a wonderful life, is often driven from our own subconscious mind by the things we were told as an innocent child.
I know all this because it all happened to me, up to and including until a few weeks ago, when I had one of those revelatory moments we sometimes have in life, and I realised I could dream, and make my dreams come true.
So don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t think you are a hopeless case. You can be who you want to be and do whatever you want to do ~ stop believing that you’re trapped, and start wishing and dreaming again.
I’m dreaming of sunshine this Christmas
Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. ~ Charles R. Swindoll.
I wanted to share with you something I learned on a four-day retreat in the high desert of New Mexico.
When we just react, mostly we react unconsciously, without thinking about things at all. That isn’t at all surprising because for 90% of the time our subconscious mind is running the show, meaning that our consciousness is only in charge for 10% of the time.
It’s a bit more complicated than that, because our unconscious mind never forgets anything. Therefore, when we just react, our subconscious is using behaviours that we learned before we were about seven years of age. All the negative stuff we learned from our parents, older siblings, teachers, and other adults is deep down in there, and it will come out when we least want it too.
When you feel threatened, judgemental, jealous, envious, angry….. you will probably react in ways you learned as a child. It’s not you that’s having an argument with your husband / lover / boss, it’s the 7-year-old child arguing, using negative behaviours you learned before you knew any better. It’s worse than that, because it seems that our subconscious mind has very little self-control.
Our subconsciousness / unconscious mind, which runs the show for 90% of the time, is really a pretty stupid, non-selective, totally emotional, feminine autopilot, (that’s not sexist ~ the conscious mind has mostly male characteristics and subconscious mostly female). The subconscious will accept ideas as truth, no matter how negative or destructive, and never fails to express ideas that have been impressed upon it. It’s our subconscious that will let us drink too much, use drugs, have casual sex…..
But, and here’s the good thing, our conscious, objective male mind can dominate our subconscious mind, if only we truly know what we need and desire We also have to learn to talk to our subconscious and knowingly impress feelings onto that part of our brain.
If you can meditate, then you’re half way there. If you know how to achieve heart ~ brain harmony, then you’re just about all the way there. Talk to your heart and your words and feelings will reach your subconsciousness. But, use very simple, positive and unambiguous phrases. Don’t say; ‘I want to be a really charismatic guy…..’ because your subconscious mind will accept the thought that you want to be, and do nothing about that thought / feeling. Instead say to your heart; ‘I am a really charismatic guy…..’ and suddenly you are charismatic.
I turned my whole life around by saying and believing; ‘I am a really cool guy, living a really great life…..’
Honestly, our subconscious has a very emotional and unintelligent way of controlling our lives, mostly by reacting without there being any conscious or selective thought in the process. Therefore, to have an emotionally intelligent subconscious, we must first turn to our consciousness and impress its intelligence upon our inner mind.
There are a hell of a lot of books and stuff on the internet about all this, so the thing to bear in mind is to keep things simple, because 90% of our minds is quite stupid really.
Desire is the history that drives the engine…..
In Albuquerque I went to see an old railway locomotive being restored by a bunch of unpaid enthusiasts ~ older and interesting guys.
It turned out that the massive 450 ton engine ran on the AT & SF, and how cool is that?
go to New Mexico and see this
It’s no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.
Perhaps all organised and populist civilisations are sick, or perhaps it’s just the one I seem to be living in right now. And it may be that there’s something wrong with me, rather than most of the rest of the people on this planet. But whatever the background noise may be, there is no doubt in my mind that this 21st century society is unwell, psychotic, and insane ~ and perforce I have to live in it.
Maybe I should just stop paying attention to the news, which is usually filled with trivia about the celebrities of the day, crap about catastrophic anthropogenic climate change, political scandals, and sports. None of which is going to make one iota of difference to my life. I strongly suspect that nothing you read in the news today will make a scintilla of difference to your life either.
It would seem that I have a simple choice; to fully engage with modern society and everything in it, or just reject society, burn my bridges, and go on my own way.
No choice at all really.
Anyone with true self-awareness is going to realise that the only path through life that is right for them is their own. That they should strive not to fit in with the habits, mores, and flawed ethics of modern society, but instead strike out on their own. Not being part of the herd gives one a feeling of liberation and being in charge of what is happening in your life ~ of being a leader and not just another sheep in the flock.
For me, it is time to break free of the limitations I have accepted for myself, by trying to conform to what I ‘think’ I should be doing; what family, friends, and the rest of society says I should be doing. Stop trying to ‘fit in’, stop giving to charity, think before I pay my bills, and stop saying ‘sorry’ all the time.
Some say there is safety in numbers. And, that daring to be different is something only bad people do. All I know is that I’d rather be a wolf than a sheep.
Dare to be different and discover just how much you can enjoy life.
Don’t be a prisoner of society. Just don’t get yourself arrested.
big charites are rotten to the core
Life can take us down unexpected and difficult paths.
Through painful experience, I have learned that to be very successful in your life, there are some things we must do. Most of them are difficult, bordering on the impossible, but all of these 10 things listed below are actually achievable.
There are two types of people who will tell that you cannot make a difference in this world; those who are afraid to try, and those who are afraid you will succeed. ~ Ray Goforth.
I firmly believe that these are the most important of the rules we must follow in order to overcome life’s challenges, and ultimately win out:
- Stay Healthy. It’s almost impossible to be successful if you’re often ill, spending time in bed, or in hospital.
- Overcome Addictions. Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Gambling, Smoking….. to name perhaps the most dangerous of all possible addictions. If you drink too much you will lose almost everything. If you drink and gamble you will lose everything. If you drink, gamble, smoke, and take drugs, you will lose everything, and then you’ll die ~ horribly
- Stay Within the Law. If you get involved with illegal activities, including taking drugs, drink driving, illegal gambling ~ sometime or other you will have a run in with The Police. A criminal record does your chances of living your dream life no good at all.
- Say Goodbye to Toxic People. Toxic relationships will make you unhappy, corrupt your mind and soul, and prevent you from realising how much better things can be.
- Seek Out, and Take, Good Advice. If you’re physically ill see a doctor, if you’re suffering mentally see a counsellor, and if you’re just struggling seek out your closest and wisest friend. Whatever advice you’re given, really take it to heart.
- Do Not Waste Time or Money. Too many people throw their money away without thought. Almost everyone wastes their time on unimportant activities. A fool and his money are soon parted. Time is the most precious resource we have.
- Stay Romantically and Sexually Faithful. Affairs, casual sex, multiple partners, using sex-workers, are all going to waste your time and money. You will get into trouble, and if you’re married, you will be asked for a divorce.
- Keep Learning. Nobody can know everything, but most people don’t even try to improve their mind and knowledge once they finish their formal education. The internet and a million books are out their, and something you learn may just give you the edge you need to become successful.
- Focus On Things You Can Control. God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And, don’t let me try to change people, because that never works.
- Follow Your Dreams. Dreams are the fuel for your success. Without dreams there can never be any meaningful and lasting success in your life.
Some very smart people can ignore some of these rules, some of the time, and still be successful. But you can’t ignore all of these rules, all of the time, and still have a hope in hell of making a success of your life. And, never worry about failure, just make certain that you pick yourself up and start again.
Marmaduke is a success,
and he loves Bentleys and Jaguars
Time is probably infinite. Your Time and my Time is very finite.
Time goes by, after all that’s the basic job of Time. What Time does best is pass. And, the ordinary scientist, working in an ordinary universe, will tell you that time passes at a constant rate. To all practical intents and purposes that’s true – except for when it’s not.
For a start, perfectly respectable physicists can prove that Time passes at different rates depending on things like how fast you are travelling, and how much gravity is affecting you. As it goes, that’s only interesting to people who fly a lot and astronauts.
What’s more interesting to everyone is how fast time seems to pass in different situations, with different people, in different places, when we are doing different things. For example, in airport departure lounges Time crawls by like a wounded fly – unless you are late for your flight, and then Time just blasts past.
If you are with the one you love, and she / he loves you too, then each moment lasts a delicious eternity, but eternity lasts just a heartbeat. Conversely, if you are in an abusive / dysfunctional / one-sided relationship, then the minutes last forever. Trust me, I’ve been there more than once.
When you are having a brilliant vacation, (as I am on Crete right now), then the days pass in a blur, and all to soon it’s over. Then Time brings you back down to Earth with a bump when you’re in an airport departure lounge again.
As we get older, we come to realise that our personal lifetime is short, finite, and will end probably sooner than we would like. That’s Time’s final cruel joke.
Some say that we have commitments and responsibilities…… that we should spend our Time doing what’s expected of us, to the best of our abilities. And, that sometimes Time drags through boredom, ennui, and lassitude. All I know is that the rest of my time on this Earth is going to be filled with adventure, fun, love, sex, and really wild things.
Time for me to leave my comfort zone behind forever
I you try you risk failure, if you don’t you ensure it.
In order to truly become a better man I’ve had to fall back on some of my past strengths and abilities. Back in the day, I was paid stupid amounts of money to invent, develop, organise, and run major projects ~ ergo I’ve decided that I should treat my becoming the better man as a project. Think about it, it sort of makes good sense.
It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person. ~ J.R. Rim
This self-improvement, and self-development project would seem to have the following elements;
- Embrace change to avoid slipping back into my old, negative patterns of behaviour.
- Have more confidence and self-reliance in my own innate abilities.
- I should always speak up for myself, and always speak the truth, strive to communicate well with others, especially with those I care for.
- Keep my close relationships in focus, neither neglect the people I care about, nor have unrealistic expectations of them.
- Conversely, have increasingly ambitious expectations of myself, and what I will be able to achieve.
- Get some balance and stability into my life ~ and I may need a lot of help with this.
- Remain grounded, balanced, and in control of my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- Be in touch with the Universe and accepting of the realities in every area of my life
- Develop the endurance to plan and successfully achieve long term wants, needs, goals, desires, dreams, and ambitions.
- Get fitter and healthier so that I have the controlled energy to make the fullest success of Project: Jack Collier.
Written down like that it seems I have a lot to work to do, and I’m certain that if I thought harder I could add more bullet points to that list. But, 10 difficult things to work on is more than enough for now.
My Life is changing day to day, sometimes in small ways and sometimes in quite scary ways. I need to find my path forward, and be the captain, master, and director of my own life.
It’s not about taking control of my life in the sense that I am trying to control everything and everyone around me, it’s about me deciding what it is that I really want, and then striving with everything I have to get it. I I really want something, I should let nothing stand in my way. My life is a reflection of my choices, and how I use my strengths and abilities to achieve success.
The goal of life purpose is not what you will create, but what it will make you into for creating it. ~ Shannon L. Alder.
Some say that success is getting what you want. And that happiness is wanting what you get. All I know is that my strength will not come from winning, my strength will be the result of trying very hard.
parasailing was so far outside of my comfort zone that I didn’t try it
I should have
Don’t be satisfied with how things once were, unfold a new story.
In the last few days a great deal has changed for me. Circumstances of my own choosing forced me well outside of my comfort zone, and made me escape a prison of my own making. And coming down the pike like a runaway a great deal of transition is heading right for me.
It is time for me to embrace a life path that is more true to who I am, and the grounded, enlightened, successful man I want to be. Now is the hour for me to grow in courage and mental strength ~ no longer allowing my doubts and fears to undermine my dreams, desires, hopes, and plans for the future. Now is the time for me to be who I truly am deep inside.
You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way. ~ Richard Bach
That means ridding myself of the emotional burdens of the past. It means ceasing to be reckless with the feelings of others. Ceasing to be negligent when it comes to accepting, cherishing, nurturing, understanding, and supporting those I care for. And it means embracing harmony, strength, and fortitude. All the mistakes I made in the past are now just learning tools for the future. Each time I fell off the rails and turned into Mr. Hyde are salutary lessons and cautionary tales ~ reminding me that those dark places and negative feelings are to be avoided and not encouraged.
Hard work bears fruit, and the near future will be bright for me and those I care for as a result of my hard work in the past paying off. I have tried so hard to be the best version of me that I could possibly become, that I have earned the right to enjoy life now that I can finally see the results of my efforts. My ‘new’ personality, attitudes, demeanour, heart , and soul means that I can express myself with greater clarity, confidence, and strength today and into the future.
My core values, the things that really matter to me, are what I will live by today, tomorrow, and in each and every day to come. I need to spend some time in walking meditation to reflect more seriously on my ethics and ethos, to truly identify what I am willing to tolerate, and what I will just not accept. It is so ingrained in the habits of most people, (myself included), to put everyone else’s needs first, and then forget to take care of themselves. Yet if we don’t take care of our own needs, our physical, mental, and spiritual health, we cannot grow nor prosper nor be truly happy. Today and into the future I will take care of myself first, and then nurture and support those I care for to the very best of my abilities.
Un-winged and naked, sorrow surrenders its crown to a throne called grace. ~ Aberjhani.
Some say I am worthy of a life full of friends, loving connections, enlightenment, and spiritual empowerment. And that there will be a new love in my life, either platonic or romantic. All I know is that I am not just going to sit back and wait for things to happen ~ the cosmos does not roll out a red carpet for anyone.
A new day has come.
This above all; to thine own self be true.
Something I re-learned this week. Your comfort zone is nothing but a prison of your own making. And that when we allow parents, family, friends, coworkers, or those in authority to rule our lives we are just adding another set of bars to our own prison.
Be yourself, turn up for life, and don’t back down.
Please listen responsibly.
Englishmen say ‘sorry’ as often as Americans say “have a nice day” ~ and both are meaningless