Category Archives: Employment

Men Don’t Do Relationships

women need and desire to be cherished, understood, loved
men want sex

Men evolved as solitary hunters, and their main contribution to the human race was the ability to hit a moving target so that everybody could eat.  Sometimes several men from the same tribe gathered together as a cooperative team so they could kill something bigger so that more people could eat.

Any woman reading that will immediately see where the male fascination with sports comes from.  Sports are all about the ability of one man to hit a moving target, often with the help of the other players on his team.  Cricket, baseball, football, basketball ~ lady, you name it and it’s the same thing ~ personal responsibility, hand-eye coordination, spacial awareness, calmness under pressure, hitting a moving target, instant gratification, win / lose.  And it comes from tens of thousands of years of evolution.

This is one reason why men like to wear uniforms, hats, colours, insignia that indicates their personal competence and membership of a successful team.  Teams are not discussion groups, a sports team is really a hunting and killing machine.  Every man feels that he is perfectly capable of solving his own problems and does not see any reason to talk about them with anybody else; up to and including you.  This is the reason a man will never ask for directions ~ real men do not use in-car satellite navigation because the damn woman keeps on offering advice.

Nowhere in there does it say anything about feelings, discussion, emotion, nurturing, understanding, socialising, and asking for help.  Men are not wired to discuss, listen, feel, accept, empathise, or talk just for the sake of talking.  Most of the time when a woman really wants her guy to show some empathy and understanding what he will do is offer her a solution.  He thinks he is being caring and loving by solving her problems, and she knows he is being uncaring and indifferent, trivialising her feelings by not listening to her.

Actually most good men try to listen to their lady, but what he hears is the blah blah blah of moaning, nagging, complaining, and talking just for the sake of talking.

When men do talk it’s usually in a language women do not easily understand; either because it’s technical or it sounds like monosyllabic grunting.

A woman may dream of and desire a perfect man, but smart women know that ‘perfect man’ is an oxymoron.  In many ways her perfect man would be gay, or at least metrosexual ~ and what real woman would want that?

Real men just don’t do non-sexual relationships ~ unless they are prepared to try, try, and try again.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Marmaduke is a male bear

he likes sitting all by himself

thinking about nothing much

Life Is Not a Game

be grateful for what you have and stop complaining

The world is full of people longing for change; to live somewhere else, to have a better and different relationship, to have a healthier life, or to finally get out of this fucking lockdown.  The grass is always greener on the other side ~ until you get there and you realise it’s pretty much the same as it was where you just left.  Longing for and dreaming of the next bigger and better thing, being richer, having a ‘nicer’ partner, having a really cool car ~ well that only makes us discontented, unhappy, and restless.

There are a couple of secrets; #1 is to be grateful for what you have  #2 is to make the most of what you have  #3 is to protect what you have. OK, that’s three secrets.

If you take a long hard honest look at your life you will probably discover that you don’t actually need much more than you already have.  Well, OK, women always need more shoes.

Most of us become discontented, unhappy, and restless when we start to compare ourselves with other people.  Your best friend owns a new Jaguar and you’re driving a 10 years old Nissan, and for some perverse reason that makes you unhappy.  Be grateful that you don’t have to walk.  Make the most of that Nissan; keep it clean, have it regularly serviced, use the right grade of gas.  In the meantime your best friend is paying so freaking much for her Jaguar that she uses cheap gas, which will fuck the engine in no time.  Your best friend isn’t protecting what she already has.  And when the Jaguar’s engine expires she will be walking

That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t want to improve ourselves, to work harder, to strive to be ‘better’ ~ we should because that’s part of human nature.  But don’t compare yourself to anyone else, comparisons are invidious.  Life Is Not a Game.  There are no winners and losers.  We are Born, we Live, and we Die.  That’s it.

So live a better life, and being miserable because you can’t move to a 5 bed 4 bathroom home is not living a better life ~ especially as there’s only yourself and your partner to consider.  The kids have left home ~ K.I.S.S.

You first of all have a duty to yourself; your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.  Work on that instead of worrying about a ‘better’ car, vacation, home….  Of course if you are a woman you do always need more shoes.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

it doesn’t like cheap gas

Lockdown Day 300

the end of civilisation as we know it?

Here in England it’s the 300th day of lockdown, quarantine, and self-isolation.  The economy has tanked, officially there are 1.9 million unemployed, and about 5.5 million are on unproductive furlough.  About half the UK workforce, some 14 million people, are ‘working from home’.  You can’t get a non-coronavirus doctor’s appointment for love nor money, some 4.6 million people are waiting for ‘non-emergency’ surgical procedures, 600,000 cervical smears have been cancelled, and our National Health Service is said to be close to meltdown.

I have no faith in any of these numbers, just as I have no faith in the ability of the British Government to act sensibly in the face of the ‘COVID-19 pandemic’.

If you’re interested, I’ve been feeling like crap for weeks.

Mind how you go.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk,net

immunisation, the great hope for freedom?

I Have a Problem

sometimes, even I can’t fix everything

somewhere in there is a busted part

Well, I failed at repairing my heating / hot water system.  The part I ordered and fitted yesterday rectified one fault, but obviously it wasn’t the main problem.  There’s now a lot of pretty lights working on the gas boiler’s control panel, but the important indicator light, the one that says the gas is lit, remains obstinately dark.

I could investigate further and try another fix, but I won’t do that for three very important reasons;

  1. I don’t have the special tools one needs to work on gas appliances.  Crucially these special tools include a gas leak detector.  Although gas is actually odorless, a stenching agent is added so one can smell a very bad gas leak.  But a leak small enough to be undetectable by human olfactory senses can still be extremely dangerous.
  2. I do not have easy access to the parts I might need to undertake a repair.
  3. Legally, all gas work should only ever be carried out by an appropriately qualified engineer.  In the UK that means you have to on the Gas Safe Register, and renew your qualification every year.  I haven’t been a qualified gas engineer for 15 years or so.

Today I’ll find a properly qualified engineer who is working during this current draconian lockdown, and make an appointment to have someone come and look at my lack of heating and hot water problem.

Actually, wanting to have fixed this gas boiler problem myself is not a money issue, it’s more that I don’t like strangers in the garret, and neither does Marmaduke.

Failing to repair something is a huge blow to my self-esteem.  But needs must when the Devil drives.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

good old Marmaduke

he’s all ready to help

 

Lies, Damn Lies, and Politicians

tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable

Is there any bigger liar in British officialdom today than Michael Gove, Minister for the Cabinet Office, and effectively the number two man in Boris Johnson’s government.  Yesterday he said that the hospitals in this country were 88% full, as though that was a bad and catastrophic thing.  The government is using this ‘88% full’ number as an excuse to impose yet more lockdowns, without ever bothering the truth that this time last year the hospital bed occupancy rate stood at just about 95%.  And that was long before the coronavirus was even thought of.  Gove lies by using out of context partial truths.  That’s pretty skillful, but being a skillful liar is no compliment.

Meanwhile Boris Johnson repeatedly fudges every number he talks about.

It is a bitter thing indeed to realise that the Prime Minister is a serial liar, but what can you expect from a serial adulterer?  It seems that Boris is cherry-picking data and using’scaremongering’ tactics to justify lockdown rules, and it’s equally obvious that he doesn’t understand how to interpret National Health Service data.  Mind you, nobody said that Boris was the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to numbers.

We are repeatedly told about the intolerable pressure on our health service, yet the huge ‘Nightingale’ emergency hospitals stand empty.  Two-thirds of the private hospital beds commandeered by the government to give the NHS breathing room if their wards were overrun with coronavirus cases, went unused this summer.  That cost the taxpayer around £400 million a month.  Somebody is making a lot of money for nothing.  Somebody is not telling the whole truth.

Even members of Boris’ own party tore into him in Parliament yesterday after he tried to defend his latest’ ‘lockdown by tiers’.  So did the leader of the Labour Party, the official opposition, but Keir Starmer is also being disingenuous.  No matter how much he criticises the government, he is not prepared to have his party vote against them in the House of Commons.  Some of his colleagues are furious with him.  Generally, nobody in politics is happy with anybody.

At the end of yesterday’s acrimonious debate a tearful Matt Hancock, the health secretary, referred to the death of his step grandfather from Covid in Liverpool last month.  I wonder how many times Mr. Hancock has cried, and how many times he has lied?

Sadly, Boris Johnson is probably the worst Prime Minister in a crisis since Neville Chamberlain, the man who believed all of Adolf Hitler’s lies.  And we know how that ended up.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

more months of compulsory ‘face coverings’

Chaos Theory Sucks

it’s disorder, not a decision

this rather chaotic artwork is in the Getty Villa

Here in England we are being governed by Chaos Theory, The Butterfly Effect, and the Chicken Little Syndrome.  Princess Nut Nut, (aka Carrie Symonds), has an unwarranted influence on the Prime Minister, and Michael Gove has lost his marbles.  On leaving the European Union we will have an energy policy completely based on offshore wind farms, and an agriculture policy written by green activists who have never even got their hands dirty.  The official response to the supposed coronavirus pandemic ranges from hysteria to blatant propaganda, all based on whatever the ‘scientists’ say today.

It’s all a bit Kafkaesque, George Orwell, and the Book of Revelations.  It could be worse; I could live in the Police State of Wales, where pubs are not allowed to serve alcohol.

Amazingly, I am now handling all of this insanity surprisingly well.  The social distancing, limited support bubble, no hugging, no sex rules don’t affect me much.  I live alone in my seaside garret, I recently broke up with my long-term long-distance ‘friend’, and my only family is somewhat estranged.  However, I do feel for those trying to live a more ‘normal’ life.  There is frustration and tragedy out there ~ I can imagine how I would have felt if I was prohibited from visiting my dying father in his care home, and I can imagine how I would feel if I was prohibited from meeting my girl-friend.  There was a ’70’s movie called No Sex Please We’re British it’s not so funny anymore.

Back in the day my life was utter chaos, governed by the butterfly effect, all overlaid with a semblance of order.  I had a mantra; I am an utterly cool guy, living a really great life…..  And if you know anything at all you know that any man who has a mantra like that is drowning in a sea of troubles and confusion.  Up until last week I was beset by doubts, fears, frustrations, jealousies, and resentments ~ and that was just the chaos and turmoil running around in my mind like a frantic hamster-wheel.  Up until last week I was mired in a slough of despond.

The really smart people eventually realise that their life is fucking shit, and sooner or later do something about it.  The snag is that whatever you do is going to involve some pain and loss.  Completely breaking with chaos hurts.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

tunnel vision is not a solution to anything

A Choice of Catastrophes

always choose the lesser of two evils

cure global warming by setting fire to the sky

The world is going to hell in a handcart, mostly because governments and their unelected officials have responded in a very male, linear-thinking manner to the supposed coronavirus pandemic.  They have seen a problem and tackled it with gusto, without any thought whatsoever for the wider consequences.  It’s like the man who has an ant infestation in his home and sorts it out by burning down the building.  Perfectly logical if your logic is based on Boolean Algebra and the only possible answers are yes and no.  That is brutal male thinking taken to extremes.  I’m certain that to cure supposed global warming some male scientists would be happy to set fire to the sky.

This highlights the biggest problem that besets most relationships; men think in straight lines and women think in patterns.  This is why most men don’t talk much and most women like to talk.  It’s also why if there’s a problem in a relationship a man will want to find an immediate solution and most women will want to talk about it.  If you don’t understand that then you can’t have a real relationship with the opposite sex ~ all you can have is a deal, a contract, a set of compromises neither of you actually understand.  What you have is called a Transactional Relationship.

If you have a transactional relationship it’s most likely suffering right now.  Being thrown closely together because of lockdown, or because there is just nowhere to go, means that established positions get blurred and it’s difficult for both of you to fulfill your allotted role.  What you might realise is that both of you aren’t actually very happy being together.  Or that if you are going to stay together things will have to change.

And, this is where it falls apart.  Suppose one of you is now drinking too much.  Most people will fall right back into that transactional model; ‘if you stop drinking so much, I will…..’  or the more likely; ‘if you don’t stop drinking so much I’m walking out…..’

You have a Choice of Catastrophes.  We can all stay with the shit we have now, or we can set off into the unknown.  We can stay with our partner and regret it.  We can leave and regret it.  We can believe all this COVID-19 crap and have our civil liberties taken away, or we can ignore all the facile advice and instructions thrown at us by governments and health officials and maybe die of the fucking coronavirus.

It’s up to each of us to choose the lesser of two evils ~ but choose wisely.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

when in doubt, trust your gut

Survival in Lockdown

every man must face his own secret sorrows

the lonely sea and the sky

Normal life is a thing of the past for many of us.  Here in England we are in the middle of yet another lockdown.  We can’t go anywhere, meet with our friends, enjoy a meal out, or even go to the pub because they’re all shut.  In fact, the official guidelines are that we should stay at home unless going out is absolutely essential ~ such as a trip to the doctor, pharmacy, or to buy groceries.  It’s the middle of autumn here, it’s turning colder, and yet we are not even supposed to be able to buy a warm jacket or sweater.

The rules and regulations are enforced with varying degrees of enthusiasm by the police, (depending on where you live), neighbour is spying upon neighbour, and supermarkets have grown a crop of security guards to enforce the social distancing and face-mask rules.  It’s turned into a Kafkaesque version of 1984.  It’s got so that a lot of us English are spending a lot of time alone, locked up in our own homes, solitary.

Being alone for an extended period isn’t necessarily a good thing.  Few enjoy solitary confinement, because that’s what lockdown means for many, many people.  Days, weeks, and months alone with very little to do can prey upon the mind, make grown men brood and ponder their own inadequacies, make a man face his own secret sorrows and regrets.  The ghosts of the past come crowding in, snuffing out the future.

Some feel like throwing it all away, sales of alcohol have soared, and mental illnesses torture some sorry souls.  And there is very little help or relief to be found.  There is no immediate end in sight either.  In England this current lockdown is due to end on December 2nd, but nobody in the real world knows what will happen after that.  Prime Minister Boris Johnson probably doesn’t know either because Carrie Symonds hasn’t told him yet.

All a man can do is to keep on keeping on.  Find something difficult and intellectual to do.  Discover a new creative interest.  Look for an idea to get excited about.  Think about a new business venture you can do from home.  Read something challenging.  Don’t just sit there, take some action, put lots of energy and enthusiasm in it.  Most of all get outside in the fresh air, walk a few miles and let thoughts drift toward better times.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

get outside and enjoy the fresh air

that and sunshine will kill a virus

 

 

Isolated and Lonely

solitude and isolation are hurtful things beyond human endurance

abandoned and worthless

The first lockdown started here on March 23rd this year, and since then normal human contact has been severely restricted by edict of our governments, health officials, and petty bureaucrats.  Here in England we’re a couple of days into yet another lockdown, strictly enforced by the police, covid marshals, and security guards.  Some people even believe the lies Boris Johnson is peddling and are self-isolating.  Sad buggers.

Whatever way you look at it, for most of this year most of us have been isolated and lonely.  I don’t give a fuck fig how dangerous or not COVID-19 is, being isolated, lacking in the normal warmth of human contact, is very dangerous.  Even for hardened and dangerous criminals the United Nations have banned the use of solitary confinement for longer than 15 days, and said that being without human contact for longer than 22 hours a day is unacceptable.  And yet, for day after day, month after month, innocent people have been made to suffer a cruel and unusual punishment through no fault of their own.

We don’t heal in isolation, but in community.  ~  S. Kelley Harrell

Whether they have the coronavirus or not, people will get sicker and sicker.  Many will suffer unimaginable pain, many will die before their time.  High blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, malnutrition, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression. paranoia, cognitive decline, dementia, Alzheimer’s, muscle wastage, alcoholism, attempted suicide….  Death

Other than praying that people like Johnson, Hancock, Vallance, Whitty, et al either come to their senses or burn in hell, what can we do?   For a start ignore every lie these disingenuous bastards are peddling.  Then change our own mindset.

You are creating your next moment based on what you are feeling and thinking.  That is what’s real.  ~  Doc Childre

COVID-19 is far less dangerous than an average winter flu ~ and if you don’t believe me spend an hour doing some online research.  Your inner potential has no limits.  It is up to you to decide how much you want to make of it.  You can drift from day to day believing the crap being peddled by governments, health officials, and the mainstream media ~ but you are the captain of your own ship, so take responsibility.

It is high time that we all got back to living a normal life.  Get outside in the fresh air, get some exercise, reach out to your friends ~ nobody except yourself can really hold you back from anything.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

you can rot on the shore all you want

I will not accept any more lies

Reinforcing Failure

don’t waste your life by reinforcing failure

even Marmaduke couldn’t get me to see sense

We all do it.  Something isn’t working out so we try harder.  We really suck at our job, so we put in more hours.  Our relationship is going to hell in a handcart so we pick ourselves up and try again.  Our partner stole from us, cheated on us, abused us….. so we forgive them and start over.  This is called reinforcing failure, and it’s the biggest mistake anyone can make in Life, Love, and War.  And, nobody really understands it.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.  ~  Robert the Bruce 1314

I was taught that quotation at school, all about the fable of Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland, and the spider.  A lot of the time it’s very true that if we at first fail at something we should go back and work harder until we succeed.  That was certainly true for me at grammar school, where it turned out that I could barely write and certainly couldn’t spell.  As the three R’s are the whole basis of modern life I had to work very hard at English and Calligraphy until I became something of a wordsmith.

If there is no choice whatsoever, then we have to keep trying until we succeed.  And yet, sometimes no matter how hard we try we are quite likely to waste our lives repeating the same mistake over and over again, because what we are trying to achieve is never going to work.  Einstein knew this, and famously said;

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  ~  Albert Einstein

If what you are doing isn’t working, then you have to try something else instead.  The problem is that people are creatures of habits and routines, who mostly don’t want to leave their own comfort zone.  Most people don’t move house, change their jobs, or become of a different church and faith.  Not often anyway.

Relationships are different ~ around half of marriages in the USA end in divorce.  Some things in relationships are too intolerable to bear.  But 80% of divorcees remarry and about 5% remarry their ex.  Unless they do something very different in their new marriage then that’s going to turn to dross too.

Me, I spent years trying to make a toxic relationship work, by trying harder…..

Some say that when a relationship isn’t working it’s time to find someone else instead.  And that you can’t expect someone to change just to keep you happy.  All I know is that, in the relationship I just walked away from, I did the very best I could ~ most of the time.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Einstein also said;

reality is an illusion

albeit a very persistent one

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