Monochrome Monday ~ Utah Landscapes
sometimes we have to go back to seeing the world in black and white
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
It’s a long road to my recovery
Hospital Introspection
knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom
I think that it’s acceptable for me to be apprehensive, introspective, and a little depressed ~ I’m pretty certain this is day #5 of my lying on this hospital bed. I haven’t been able to get up at all, because of the tubes, drips, and because moving is painful for me. Being immobile on a hospital bed, with very little control of my own life, and very little privacy isn’t a joyous time.
At least the catheter was removed this morning, right after the phlebotomist took my blood for the umpteenth time. Nobody tells you that catheter removal is painful, and that there’s probably going to be blood. At least the nurses make me a cup of tea after they wake me up at 5 a.m. I thank them profusely for that.
As it happens I am not looking forward to going for a pee.
I have been trying to make the best of things;
We ought to hear at least one little song every day, read a good poem, see a first-rate painting, and if possible speak a few sensible words. ~ von Goethe
My concentration has come back sufficiently for me to do most of that ~ the sensible words thing may still be eluding me. Maybe the things I write on here contain a few sensible words.
One good thing has come out of this, I have realised that many of the people who know me on here, genuinely care about me and my welfare. I am pleased to call them my friends.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I like the California desert
I wish I was there now
Scenes on Sunday ~ California Road Trip
the life you have led doesn’t need to be the only life you have
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
sometimes, only a convertible Mustang will do, with a very cute girl riding shotgun
In The Bleak Mid-Winter
my life is bleak, unhappiness is mine
Through no fault but my own the one good thing I had in my life is destroyed.
I am in the bleak mid-winter of sorrow today.
Please listen responsibly.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Bleak Mid-Winter in New Mexico
Christmas Fun ~ The Pretenders
Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
For the first time since he died, this morning I had a fond memory of my father, from very long ago. It seems that Christmas transcends time and distance.
This song is another memory from long ago, something that would be played in my car on the long drive north from London to a little pit village in County Durham.
Please listen thinking of those far away this Christmas.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
for the girl riding shotgun
who will be far away this Christmas
Monochrome Monday ~ Roads
a long exciting road trip is my favourite vacation
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Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Roads in the USA are much more fun than in Europe
Scenes on Sunday ~ Anywhere But Here
travelling far turns you into a storyteller
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
in a December’s winter I would rather be almost anywhere but here.
Simplicity
life is really simple, but I insist on making it complicated
the desert isn’t complicated
I live in a world where being busy and achieving things is expected, and there are other expectations, arguments, and contrary opinions about everything. My mind makes my life more painful than it really should be. Life is really simple but I make it complicated.
At this time of year I look around at those I used to know well, and feel a little compulsion to keep up with their lifestyles and successes. I feel that urge to fill my days with stuff to do and goals to achieve ~ creating new subordinates, colleagues, co workers, and money to fill the empty spaces in my life. But colleagues and co workers are never friends past lunch-time.
I have planned vacations and dreamed of women who would enjoy doing very little with me. But those women would be empty vessels and not real friends at all. I will not five up all I am for a couple of weeks of fun.
It turns out that this is a had luck life and I had better accept that and live a simple life. It’s not an easy choice. It will take a bit of strength to find straightforward solutions to my problems, and rid my life of self-made complications and toxic people. But it’s past time to de-clutter my life and my emotions. Simplicity is the smart choice for healthy people.
Keep it Simple Stupid is a good mantra for me. It’s a good life choice to rid myself of people that only make my life complicated. No matter what happens I should ask myself ‘do I really want this’ am I just adding more stress and complications to my life? Is what I am doing honest, open, clean, decent and with some real purpose? Actually, over the past week the answer to those questions is no.
I have not been 100% honest and straightforward, I’ve been as crooked as a snake about some things, lied about some things, and wanted some other things I shouldn’t want. Jealousy, envy, and covetousness are where I’ve been.
I know that I have a problem, and I should think twice before saying anything. Fuck I am not a saint, and that’s what I need to be to get over Borderline Personality Disorder.
Some say that yo just have to carry on giving. And that there is no end in sight. All I know is that everything will be all right.
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I was there, and I was happier
Road Trip
some beautiful roads can’t be discovered without getting lost
As my Christmas vacation plans are totally screwed, I may take a long road trip instead.
And, when in the USA, I do like to rent a Mustang.
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Or a Jaguar
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Of course, in Europe I prefer something smaller
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
what I really need as well as a cool car
is a fabulous travelling companion
Monochrome Monday
a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
