Category Archives: Cars and Motoring

Escaping Humiliation

humiliation scars deeper than the lash

renting a Mustang does not alleviate humiliation

It is only very recently that I have had the courage to take a long, hard look at my life.  The implications of my actions over recent years are severe.  Obsession, overindulgence in the wrong people and things, dissipation, confusion, despair, joylessness are what mark my days.  A struggle with addiction to alcohol. The proximate cause of that addiction ~ an unhappy destructive toxic affair.  The waste of time, money, and love now weigh heavily on my mind.

And yet, I was very unwilling and almost unable to finally break that bond ~ a bond that had no future except walking deeper into the dark slough of despond.  Call it sexual immaturity, desperation, or lack of self-worth ~ I was deeply attracted to someone who has been, is, and would go on being extremely bad for me.  If she could, she could well spell my doom, for in many ways she is a witch.

I needed to open my eyes and understand the extent of my bondage before I could begin to see a way out.  Escaping from a black widow is not the easiest thing for a man to do.  I was caught in an unhealthy unproductive place, ignorant of the truth and its implications.  I was obsessed by a person, the idea of her, a pattern of behaviour and the booze that went along with it.  Even in the midst of everything I knew it was all bad for me.  I had severe doubts in my own future, and dark thoughts of my own demise.

It will be all right, now that I have realised that I don’t always have to pay for my past mistakes.  I had a false picture of myself and the situation I was in, but now I can hold fast to the best vision of who I am and the man I shall become.

Now I have freed myself from constant deep humiliation I can know resurrection, renewal and revival, my long-dormant inner man coming back to life.

Despite everything, this is a time for me to be happy, joyous, and free.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

six times I traveled to Southern California to meet my own nightmare

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

happiness is what we find at the end of the road

Right now, this minute, I’m damn happy.  I have walked away from the person who was making me miserable, and you can make no more positive step on the road to happiness than that.

Not the Bob Marley original, but a happy version nevertheless.

Don’t worry, be happy.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be

Scenes on Sunday ~ Road Trip

keep cool ~ drive a Mustang convertible

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

California, a Mustang

and the girl riding shotgun

it doesn’t get any better than that

Songs on Saturday ~ Sussudio

just say the word, and I’ll be yours

Some things defy description.  Some relationships defy memories.  Some words defy definition.  As far as I know the only dictionary definition of Sussudio is that it’s a tune by Phil Collins.  I remember playing this track very loud in my car, just to keep me awake ~ it was after midnight and I was coming back from somewhere I shouldn’t ever have been.  (Probably that pub.)

In some parts of the world a smart suit and tie is considered very cool. Personally, I think it’s a very masculine look.   Anyway, most hot sexy women like the smart and slightly preppy man

Please listen with a glad heart.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

not much is cooler than a Mustang convertible

Random Jottings ~ Sex

if you want to prove your love, then give her your credit card

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a women who wears a see through dress without lingerie has got balls

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a real woman is her man’s personal porn star

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‘be mine…..’ he said, ‘your what…..’ she asked

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love is whatever you think it is at the time

but first date sex is always just sex

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‘OK, let’s go and fully explore my sexuality…..’ she said

he made his excuses and left the bar right after that

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there is something about a really sexual woman that frightens most men

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some women fake orgasms, but all men fake finances

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

if you want to prove your love

then give her your car keys 

 

Baring My Soul

to let go of the past, we first have to accept it

just one of the cars, just one of the hotels

For more than five years I was in a dysfunctional relationship with a woman I believed I cared for very deeply.  Just about everything you can imagine being wrong, was wrong with that friendship ~ if that was what it was.  And I was too willfully blind to see it.  Call it lying to myself, or ignoring the obvious facts, or just call it denial.  The plain truth was that because of my own unrealistic expectations, I was on a down-bound train to some very personal hell, and my conscious mind did not want to know.

My subconscious mind, my inner child knew all right.  I spent years being miserable, torturing myself, and looking for some easy escape from my pain.  I started to write this blog….  No that is not true, she found me through this blog, in March 2014, (or maybe earlier).  What happened was that the things I started to write here changed.  My posts became darker, filled with pain and angst as I tried to find some relief from my feelings.  I went back to drinking, and every time my feelings got the better of me I would get the better of a few bottles of booze.  I even tried therapy ~  although I never told my therapist the truth of it.

The worst thing I did was to invest more and more of myself in that one-sided relationship.  I visited California often, and took my friend on great road trips, including to Wyoming to see the total eclipse of the sun.  We went to some very expensive new-age seminars in Sedona AZ and Albuquerque NM.  We found some great restaurants in Orange County, and breakfasted on the Queen Mary in Long Beach.  I would send flowers and gifts on every possible occasion.  And. I couldn’t see that everything I did made it worse.

Perhaps because I was going crazy during the coronavirus lockdown, but a couple of weeks ago I admitted to myself and others that I was in deep, deep trouble.  Then I finally admitted why, and found the sense to tell my Californian friend that we needed to say goodbye.

I know that she is still in my mind, and will be for a while.  But I have an Angel at my shoulder, and as long as she is watching over me I will stay free of the chains that once bound me.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

alone again, naturally

Tunes on Tuesday ~ The B52’s

before I talk, I should read a book

You know what?  I never really understood that quotation ~ unless it’s about casual sex.  If it comes right down to it, I never really understood why the trash culture B52’s were so popular in the 70s and 80s, especially here in England.  Unless you happen to like Big Ugly Fat Fuckers. Anyhow, I liked Love Shack back then, and I still do.  Perhaps I just like shacks.

Please listen remembering back-roads America.

I also like long road trips.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

I wonder if Biden will have much use for the BUFFs

Scenes on Sunday ~ Bear

you don’t always want to be around Big Bear

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Big Bear Boulevard

and a little bear

What Turns You On?

real love is confidence, acceptance, and understanding

what women want

You will not be surprised to learn that I still have no real idea what women want, other than security and steadfastness.  I sort-of know that women want, need, and desire things like trust, respect, acceptance, understanding, and somebody with enough money to look after them.  And that some people have kinks that we wouldn’t want to imagine.  But, what do women really want?

So, obviously I checked a website, and came up with dross.  It seems that women want, need, and desire; confidence, trustworthiness, integrity, compassion, emotional honesty, respect, and a sense of humour.  Jeez, the woman who wrote that must have been dating the slob next door lookalikes or guys in their twenties.  Apart from the emotional honesty thing.

Almost no men are emotionally honest, not even with themselves.  Asking for emotional honesty from a man is like asking for him to hold a conversation and walk up a flight of stairs at one in the same time.

I checked some other sites and the women writing them came up with things like;  vulnerability, stability, equality, awareness, emotional presence, interestedness, protectiveness, acceptance, and assertiveness.  Some slightly iffy and slightly contradictory stuff there.

I’m a man, and from bitter experience I will tell you exactly what women want when it comes to men.

  • Looks, Presence, Physicality, Command Ability.  In general women do not get turned on by a Forrest Gump played by a Danny Devito type, but they do get turned on by Bond played by Connery.  A big dick helps.
  • Money.  I don’t give a shit what any woman says, while some woman might fuck a hot-looking pauper, it’s not what they really want need and desire.  They want a man who pays for dinner, sends flowers, dresses nicely, has a cool car, and can afford to take them on expensive vacations.
  • Power.  Power is the greatest aphrodisiac there is, according to Plato.  Why else would any woman sleep with some notable politicians?
  • Intellect.  Unless she is a bimbo, women want a man who can hold a conversation, knows where Canada is, and can discuss anything, anytime, with anybody.
  • Talent.  Women do not like talent-less men, and whatever talent he has better be masculine.  Not many women are turned-on by a guy who is good at quilting.  Women prefer men who can fix their car at two in the morning, in the pouring rain.
  • Listening.  Women like to talk, and they prefer it when the man they are dating actually listens instead of constantly talking over them or being bored.  Listening to a woman, any woman, is a learned skill for men.
  • Steadfastness.  Women like men who are there for them 24/7 365, no matter what.

Of course this is based on an unscientific straw-poll, and the answers depended on how much the women I polled had to drink.  And, there is more, and not all women are the same, and some men have hidden depths.  But I know, from being able to listen, that a woman who lets go a man who ticks all the boxes I’ve listed above regrets it forever.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

looks and being able to ride a motorcycle are enough for one woman I’ve known

Is This Country?

an English Gentleman is someone who doesn’t know how to play the banjo

I have a friend who drove across country to the Ozarks last weekend.  Even with my extensive and eclectic knowledge of geography I have only the vaguest knowledge of where the Ozarks are, let alone WTF you get when you arrive.  I have the vaguest suspicion that it’s the kind of area where brothers and sisters date and cousins get married.  If you tell me so I will accept that I’m utterly wrong.  But and here’s the thing, is that where this kind of music comes from?  And, is this country?

The Staggerwing was fabulous, but a Vincent is a legend.

Please listen knowledgeably.

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jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk

better looking than some

sexier than most

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