OCD is not about being a ‘neat freak’
that is wrong on so many levels
Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I have fairly mild Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. There are a few obvious signs; for example I am always clean, neat, and tidy, always doing the very best I can in every situation. I think that everything is my fault and my problem to solve. My music is all sorted in alphabetical order, and I know where everything is, all the time. I also go back and check that I really have locked my door when I’ve left the garret. I know every detail of my finances, down to the last penny and I check my bank accounts on-line every damn day.
But the real give-away is counting. When my mind is doing nothing else I count, to no purpose whatsoever, and it’s a completely unconscious thing.
I’ve now read that there are 4 types of OCD; contamination, perfection, doubt/harm, forbidden thoughts. Or it might be that there are 7 types of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, if you include; staring, relationship, and existential. I think I can identify perfectionism and a little of forbidden thoughts, (but who doesn’t have weird sexual fantasies). But none of it is ruining my life. What almost ruined my life was judgemental angry jealousy, (retroactive angry jealousy too), and some would say that is Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I would say that it was being in a toxic relationship with the wrong woman.
So how to ‘cure’ my OCD? Actually the only bit I want to cure is the counting thing.
Typically dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder involves drugs and therapy. I’m NOT having either of those, except the honest, open, down to earth therapy talking with my friends gives me. And writing this blog, of course.
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. ~ Sun Tzu
Knowing that I have ‘a problem’ is more than half the battle.
The rest is down to me.
some say that mental illness is like a black dog