Rejection in Relationships

a healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down

misery is never acceptable

Who here has never been dumped?  I have, more than once, and it hurts.  However, I firmly believe that what hurts worse than being rejected and dumped is being rejected by your spouse or partner while the relationship goes on between you.  You are still mostly living together, but that’s the most you can say of it.  You may even be having sex, but it’s lacking in intimacy and is nothing more than satisfying some animal lust.  Bad sex is worse than no sex at all, and in a toxic relationship sex is all about power.

Everything in the world is about sex except sex.  Sex is about power.  ~  Oscar Wilde

Some signs of being rejected inside a relationship are that you avoid being together, you hardly ever talk and when you do there is no real communication, communication descends into arguments, recriminations, and raised voices, you don’t trust your partner at all, one of you drinks far too much, and the chances are that you are being cheated on.  Anyhow, if your partner is rejecting you then you already know.  Being rejected can hurt for a while, being rejected inside a relationship makes you miserable forever, or until you find the courage to walk out.

If you don’t trust your partner / spouse, if you don’t let them anywhere near your money, if you go to counseling alone or to a 12 step group, if you are being mentally, psychologically or physically abused, if you feel like a doormat, if you are always walking on eggshells ~ then it’s time to have an escape plan.  The thing is that, anyone who can subject someone they profess to care for to the misery of rejection is themselves a deeply damaged person.  In psychology Anti-Social has some very specific meanings, it describes someone who has no conscience, no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, no guilt.  Anti-Social people are promiscuous, often abuse alcohol and drugs, they cheat and steal, are narcissistic, and often they will break the law; things like petty theft or driving under the influence.  Someone who will reject their partner or spouse is deeply Anti-Social.

And beware because simple rejection can escalate into Gaslighting, a form of extreme psychological abuse.  If you suffer from anxiety, depression, question your own sanity ~ then you are being gaslighted.  If that is you, and you sometimes fear for your own safety, or even your own life, then it’s not time to walk away, it’s time to run.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

feeling like a prisoner is never acceptable

6 responses

  1. I will NEVER EVER forget an experience in college. I was young, invincible, in lust with a terrific guy, and met him in a room where I dropped everything but a cute set of lingerie. He looked at me and handed me my dress. Turned out later, he didn’t want to do anything with me because I’d broken up with one of his best friends and although, I wasn’t aware of that-small colleges were like fishbowls, everyone knew everyone- I was terribly hurt. Today, that best friend of his is one of mine again and that guy?? He often messages me and I cannot go there. But, that is his story and not mine!! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WOW! is that not just the ultimate rejection for a woman? No wonder you were terribly hurt ❤ Your story makes me glad that I never went to an American college, (obviously).
      You've had a very busy 'social life'. ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, to be quite honest, that was the first and last time I EVER did anything of that nature and it was in my last year of ‘higher’ education!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I mostly believe you.
          Hugs and Kisses ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  2. […] on from this morning’s post Rejection in Relationships, I thought I’d let you listen to this song by Simply Red.  It says a lot about what it feels […]

    Liked by 1 person

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