Not Meeting Expectations

unrealistic expectations can destroy relationships

sometimes, walking out is the best thing you can do

You can waste a whole lifetime trying to be who and what is expected of you, trying to become who you are expected to be.  Mostly what other people want you to be isn’t what you truly want at all.  Worse is when you try to be who you think other people want you to be, because then you’re just making a rod for your own back.  And it all begins at a very early age, when your parents, siblings, teachers, et al shape you to meet what they want, instead of nurturing the inner you, allowing you to develop naturally.

There is also the ‘Pretty Woman’ ‘Pygmalion’ syndrome when the more powerful partner in a relationship changes the weaker to become some ideal man or woman.  Just occasionally the ‘Pretty Woman’ thing is justifiable because whoever is being changed truly wants that.  I have been there, once.

However, most of the time it’s all far more mundane and prosaic than that.  For example your date might expect that you always pick up the check, or drive because they intend to get drunk.  Your partner might expect you to always take out the trash, pay all the bills, always put petrol in the car, and have dinner ready whenever they get home.  The commonest expectation from friends / family / partners is that you are always there when they want you to be, always go along with what they want to do, and never argue about it.  Some people do not expect you to have a mind of your own.

You can get the feeling that you’re just killing time between doing whatever other people want you to do.  It gets very bad when you accept that always going along with what other people want is perfectly normal.  If you always strive to meet other people’s expectations then you don’t have a life of your own.

Be aware that not everyone is as ethical, honest, reasonable nor as sensible as you are.  Some will have expectations of you that go beyond what’s normal and decent.  This could range from you always being the one responsible for your aged and ill parent, to you being expected to take part in something other than loving and caring sex.

Some say that we should always go along with the majority.  And that there’s something wrong if we want to do things differently from our family and friends.  All I know is that other people’s expectations are theirs, and not mine.


jack collier

I don’t have to like the kind of car you expect me to like.

4 responses

  1. Very good points! I like that car! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. 😉
      Strange little thing isn’t it….

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I wonder why there are only 3 wheels.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. A 3-wheeler is much cheaper to tax.

          Liked by 1 person

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