Day 333

not everyone is insane but some are depressed

I’m not howling at the moon

I thought that I was going crazy.  I was struggling to get out of bed in the morning, to keep myself and the garret clean, to find any interest in anything at all.  I believed that being in solitary confinement for almost a year had given me a bad case of lockdown depression ~ the whole world is grey and meaningless kind of depression.  The absence of feelings that leads to substance abuse and self harm.

The doctors don’t think that’s the case.  It turns out that there is something physically wrong with me.  It seems that I am sick in body, but not in mind and spirit.  And, somehow that’s good.  A physical illness can be treated and cured more easily and more effectively than can a mental illness.

The snag is that thus far nobody has any idea what’s wrong with me.  Yesterday I had another physical and another lot of blood taken for testing.  Next Friday I’m going for an MRI scan.  The doctors will find out what I’m suffering from, and what kind of treatment is appropriate ~ it’s just that it’s taking a little while.  But at least I’m getting all the tests they think I need.

What I know so far is that I’m not suffering from anxiety and depression ~ which is good.  And, after yesterday I know that my blood pressure is fine, without medication.

So, for now, I will just get on with Life as best as I can.


jack collier

I need to eat healthy stuff

like this

avocado pomegranate salad

17 responses

  1. Glad you are getting it looked in to and I hope they will find what it is soon and you can start to feel better! The salad looks healthy and delicious! 🙂
    Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Petra, your recipes keep me grounded ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. thank you Jack 🙂 x


  2. just look after that teddy bear she gave you 🙂 pat pat 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Take care and love your salad!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you gorgeous ❤❤❤
      You work too hard.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. love that salad and also what Paula and Jan said

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d serve that to you, any time you like. 👅

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It must be in the air Mr Jack, i am feeling it too

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Feeling your aura sweetheart ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m at a old friends place and it seems that people are all suffering something, I wonder if its healthy to isolate and separate people.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Of course it’s not healthy to keep people alone and isolated. ❤

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Funny, tonight was nice going out catching up with a friend that was so long ago, yet somethings are a little different, the youth of today, are healthy, gay, yet, different, something they get told, take it in then, do the absolute polar opposite and they all love being mentally ill? Go figure… that is interesting.

            They don’t look mentally ill, however, the age of a man or boy 23, gay, seems to like hanging with older gay men, who look after them, hmm nothing has changed we just got older LOL


  6. Sending healing energy!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. What Paula said! All the best! 💗

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hope whatever it is gets fixed quickly! 💕

    Liked by 2 people

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