toxic and malignant relationships are dangerous
doesn’t happen as often as some might desire
Why do so many good people find themselves in a toxic relationship? Is it because we expect people to live up to our own standards? If that’s true then a lot of us are going to be very disappointed a lot of the time. It’s worse than that, some women put themselves in danger by dating / having a relationship with / marrying abusive men. What some women never seem to learn is that men don’t change, what he’s like when you first meet him is what he is always going to be like.
The warning signs that people are not who they say they are include;
- being unreliable, frequently turning up late or not showing up at all
- being evasive about themselves, what they do, where they live, what kind of family they have
- being evasive about their past
- lying, and especially lying by omission
- never being the first to pick up the check in a restaurant or bar
- having a regular bar where they know all the other patrons, talking to everyone in a bar except you
- drinking too much, turning up stoned, being far too interested in sports
- being broke, owing money, trying to borrow money from you
- liking much older / younger friends and potential / actual sexual partners
- being too rough when you have sex, being too interested in porn, being more than just a little kinky, wanting to share you with someone else
The thing is, even if your date / partner / spouse is displaying some or all of these warning signs many men and women close their eyes to these negatives and only see their paramour through rose tinted spectacles. Or worse, some people are very aware of their date’s faults but go on seeing them anyway, with the unrealistic expectation that they will change, if only they are given a chance. Remember that a leopard never changes its spots.
If your gut is telling you that your date’s affection and protestations of love are false, then 99.9% of the time your gut is right, and you are being used and manipulated, Some toxic people will only pretend to love you as much as they can use you, and their fake love will end when the benefits stop.
The biggest signs that you have totally unrealistic expectations of your date / partner / spouse are that they stop being interested in sex with you, and instead get interested in sex with everyone and anyone else. If someone cheats on you then they don’t give a shit about you.
Some say that inside every bad person there is a good person trying to get out. And that if we just give someone a chance they will change for the better. All I know is that all of our expectations of another person are most likely unrealistic.
if your partner becomes amorous at parties, then it’s time for you to walk away