Sexual Confidence

a truly confident man has no desire to control a woman

she is probably not with a confident man

That’s a challenging quotation at the top of the page, and goes against all the fashionable BDSM stuff in the Fifty Shades…..   But trust me, the need to control your wife / lover / partner / girlfriend displays a complete lack of self-confidence.  More than that, wanting and needing to control a woman means that he doesn’t trust her at all.  There are men like that.  Their control over a woman will begin with small things, and end with him ruling and ruining her life.

Any woman involved with a controlling man needs to get out as soon as she can, go far, go fast, never once tell him where she is going, and never look back.  He doesn’t care for her and never did, everything is all about him.  That kind of controlling relationship soon turns to abuse; mental, verbal, financial, spiritual, sexual, and physical abuse.  That kind of man is completely lacking in confidence ~ in fact he is completely lacking in any of the finer qualities that go to make up a real man.  Especially he does not know trust.

Conversely, a truly confident man, the man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and is filled with enough energy, enthusiasm, and vitality, would never need nor want to control his Lady.  A confident man will trust her enough to be happy that she does what pleases her, and fully explores her sexuality within the bounds of decency.  (The bounds of decency are flexible depending on where you are, who you are with, and what time of day / time of year it is.)  It’s about trust and confidence.  Which makes me think that the men of some churches and religions must be utterly lacking in both.

Sexual confidence begins outside of the bedroom.  It’s what allows a man to talk to any woman and treat her like an equal ~ actually not like an equal at all because men and woman are very different.  A confident man looks at a woman and sees an individual, someone strong, unique, and completely feminine.  Confident men will approach that woman at a bar, and not necessarily believe that she should be flattered by his attentions and want to have sex with him.  His confidence and good humour means that if they are both free she might.

Some say that a man’s sexual performance is a reflection of his confidence.  And that he is comfortable with a woman who wants and likes sex.  All I know is that sexual confidence in a man means trusting her.


jack collier


a confident man will be happy for his wife to wear a dress like this


3 responses

  1. “begins outside of the bedroom”. EXACTLY.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Seduction is a two way street. Beginning with eye contact, or words spoken or unspoken.
      You had me at ‘hello’

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Smiling and thinking hello is a GREAT start!!


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