you are allowed to walk away from people that hurt you
finding ways to cope is no answer
I am guessing that everyone reading this has been in at least one toxic and dysfunctional relationship in their life. Some of us may have been in abusive relationships, and abuse includes mental, verbal, financial, sexual, and physical. The questions are not how we got into a bad relationship in the first place, but why we stayed in that friendship, affair, partnership, marriage long after it became painful and destructive? It’s like a kind of insanity, but a craziness where the victim actually knows they are insane.
It begins with just not knowing, not realising, how bad things are, and having no idea how much worse they are going to get. Trust me, no matter how bad things are, they will get worse, and then even worse than that.
Then, when we do know something bad we find ourselves just not believing it. We don’t believe that our partner stole from us, cheated on us, or just doesn’t care about us. Disbelief is different from Denial. Disbelief is thinking the weather girl is wrong when she says there’s going to be a hurricane. Denial is refusing to accept that the weather outside is as bad as it ever gets, even when the rain is lashing down and the winds are over 80 mph. Dysfunctional relationships always go from disbelief to denial.
Then, when we know and mostly accept that our partner is an avaricious bitch, an alcoholic slut, an uncaring bastard, a narcissistic liar, a sadistic abuser we begin to rationalise things and make bargains. We make bargains with our partner; ‘please don’t do that again…..’ and we make bargains with ourselves; ‘if he / she does that again I’m walking out…..’ That can go on for years, the bargains and rationalisations will change, but in reality it’s that we can’t bring ourselves to walk away. It might be that despite everything we still care for / love her or him.
It gets worse. We may stay in a toxic and dysfunctional relationship out of a sense of duty, or because we have nowhere else to go. Nowhere else to go might mean physically and financially, or it might mean we believe that any relationship, no matter how bad, is preferable to no relationship at all. Half a loaf is better than no bread…..
Take it from one who has just walked away from a woman, that it’s better to have no companion at all than to stay with someone who either takes pleasure in hurting you, or just doesn’t care at all.
walk away and never look back