What Turns You On?

real love is confidence, acceptance, and understanding

what women want

You will not be surprised to learn that I still have no real idea what women want, other than security and steadfastness.  I sort-of know that women want, need, and desire things like trust, respect, acceptance, understanding, and somebody with enough money to look after them.  And that some people have kinks that we wouldn’t want to imagine.  But, what do women really want?

So, obviously I checked a website, and came up with dross.  It seems that women want, need, and desire; confidence, trustworthiness, integrity, compassion, emotional honesty, respect, and a sense of humour.  Jeez, the woman who wrote that must have been dating the slob next door lookalikes or guys in their twenties.  Apart from the emotional honesty thing.

Almost no men are emotionally honest, not even with themselves.  Asking for emotional honesty from a man is like asking for him to hold a conversation and walk up a flight of stairs at one in the same time.

I checked some other sites and the women writing them came up with things like;  vulnerability, stability, equality, awareness, emotional presence, interestedness, protectiveness, acceptance, and assertiveness.  Some slightly iffy and slightly contradictory stuff there.

I’m a man, and from bitter experience I will tell you exactly what women want when it comes to men.

  • Looks, Presence, Physicality, Command Ability.  In general women do not get turned on by a Forrest Gump played by a Danny Devito type, but they do get turned on by Bond played by Connery.  A big dick helps.
  • Money.  I don’t give a shit what any woman says, while some woman might fuck a hot-looking pauper, it’s not what they really want need and desire.  They want a man who pays for dinner, sends flowers, dresses nicely, has a cool car, and can afford to take them on expensive vacations.
  • Power.  Power is the greatest aphrodisiac there is, according to Plato.  Why else would any woman sleep with some notable politicians?
  • Intellect.  Unless she is a bimbo, women want a man who can hold a conversation, knows where Canada is, and can discuss anything, anytime, with anybody.
  • Talent.  Women do not like talent-less men, and whatever talent he has better be masculine.  Not many women are turned-on by a guy who is good at quilting.  Women prefer men who can fix their car at two in the morning, in the pouring rain.
  • Listening.  Women like to talk, and they prefer it when the man they are dating actually listens instead of constantly talking over them or being bored.  Listening to a woman, any woman, is a learned skill for men.
  • Steadfastness.  Women like men who are there for them 24/7 365, no matter what.

Of course this is based on an unscientific straw-poll, and the answers depended on how much the women I polled had to drink.  And, there is more, and not all women are the same, and some men have hidden depths.  But I know, from being able to listen, that a woman who lets go a man who ticks all the boxes I’ve listed above regrets it forever.


jack collier



looks and being able to ride a motorcycle are enough for one woman I’ve known

7 responses

  1. very true and love the chat between you and Kris. i think you are spot on. Although, when one thinks of Trump (which i try not to) he has money and had several beautiful wives. i can’t think of anything else he has to offer

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Money and power are very attractive for some women 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  2. nose crinkle. I’m not sure I agreed with all of this. I am not into money. If I was, I’d have dated most anyone else and married someone different. Money is nice, but it often makes people act icky. I want time and to be given time. Not snipppets here and there, but actual real moments I can hold in my hand and feel. I want to be touched physically, often. Thankfully, the man I’m married to will touch my ass as he walks past now and then. I do like to be dominated, but not hugely. I like clean, but it doesn’t matter what is being worn, as long as the body and the clothes are clean. Unless, of course, you have been working!!! It is impossible to be clean if you have been working on a car or with wood. Looks are negligible. I’ve dated some stunners and some who resemble the grandpa next door, tummy and all. (or were they the grandpa next door…..??) I agree intellect is a good thing, although, even that isn’t as important as it might be. Often too much intellect makes a person a know it all and that annoys me. I’m not the brightest bulb in the bunch, so it isn’t fair for me to want someone who is better than me in looks or brains or whatever! Honestly, I want a friend. A person with a sense of humor (HUGE need) and someone who likes me for myself and compliments me or allows me to compliment them. All the rest is fru fru. OK, that was a bit more than I should have commented, but my fingers were typing as fast as my brain was thinking!!! Almost… lol

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Your nose crinkle is cute and sexy ❤
      You are very astute that women want time, I kind of said that when I talked about listening, but not nearly enough. A real woman wants a man who is prepared to reschedule his calendar to be with her, whether she is in Alaska or New Mexico. A real woman wants a man who will spend the time to fix her boiler, mend her roof, and work out what's wrong with her drains.
      A real woman wants a man who will spend the time learning what turns her on and not just fucking her like a piece of meat.
      A real woman likes a man who can laugh at himself, acknowledges his mistakes, accepts that nobody is perfect, and when life knocks him down gets up and tries again.
      Did I mention the big dick?

      Liked by 3 people

      1. some men are dicks..they don’t need a larger one!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I am working out if that is an insult

          Liked by 2 people

          1. laughing. YOU are not one of those kinds.

            Liked by 2 people

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