Accepting the Truth

deep down we already know the truth, we merely have to accept it

not all is well if she ignores you on a date

I needed to write this because the story of my life that has been related within these posts has always been true, but not necessarily the whole truth.  At times the whole truth was too distressing for me to accept and understand, let alone write about.

At times my life demanded more of my inner resources than I had to give.  And, when I failed and fell off the warriors path I risked doing far more damage than just scraping my knee.  There was a time, years that ended just a few days ago, when being a sacrificial animal on the alter of someone else’s toxic wants, needs, and desires was an integral part of my mindset.  Self-neglect resulting in unhappiness, depression, alcoholism, and physical illness also cost me a hell of a lot of time and money.  I have now come to accept that some manipulative people can make being in a dysfunctional relationship seem perfectly normal.  Of course, for a man like me that devious person had to be a woman ~ perhaps more than one woman.  We go on making the same mistakes until we accept  and understand our own denial.  That is part of my truth.

I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.  ~  Leo Tolstoy

Fortunately my mindset has changed.  I can’t take much credit for that, but now I am seeking and finding real balance in my life, the critical differences that can prevent me from falling off the cliff and hitting yet another rock bottom.  The critical differences between living well and living foolishly.

It’s time for me to practice self-care and self-love instead of martyrdom and victim-hood.  I haven’t forgotten that these are not easy battles to win ~ not least because of my own previous denial.  It’s difficult to admit the whole truth to others when you are lying to yourself.  And from time to time I got drunk and went off-line just to escape from the truth, just to escape from a dysfunctional ‘friendship’ for a while.

Deep down I always knew the whole truth, I merely had to accept it.

Some say that it’s better to live with soft lies than learn from hard truths.  And that having half a loaf is better than no bread.  All I know is that if I accept the truth and live with it my heart will be at peace.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

not all is well is she dates much younger men

not when she’s supposed to be dating you

22 responses

  1. Oh dear Jesus, Sometimes I even wonder about my own words…. So, true, what is the fun of that my friend… here is my new website soon to be open to ALL (paid site – waiting, waiting to afford anything, anything hehe) https://likemindedequals.wordpress.com/2019/06/24/living-in-a-world-full-of-hate/

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am VERY happy and thankful. Hooray for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kris, I know that wasn’t for me… Jack… I am stepping aside for this applause…. take the stage dear Jack

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sometimes this new WP program is glitchy. Thank you-

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Awww Kris, your a sweetheart xxx

          Liked by 1 person

        2. I hate the block editor, so I’ve found ways around it, 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Good. I need to figure it out!

            Liked by 1 person

        3. So, it was for Jack, I c, I know Kris, I am just a mere female and Jack is a young challenging yet lovely Gentlemen 🙂 I understand your like towards him… and lack towards me hehe joking xxx

          Liked by 1 person

          1. There are a couple of women I would want to take to Cancún with me. Kris because she would be comfortable mommy sex, and you because you wouldn’t.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Well, I will take that as a compliment thank you for the offer Jack nice to know the difference that you have come too.. However, Never judge a book by its cover, because Kris, maybe a tiger in the bedroom

            Like

          3. piffle!!! I did try to follow you, couldn’t manage to even FIND you! lol

            Liked by 2 people

    2. Darling Kris, thank you. ❤ ❤ ❤
      Suddenly everything became clear to me. Seems I had been deluding myself for a long time.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Do it once and it hurt you, then it hurt you, do it twice, and your stung again, well your becoming annoying, do it 3 to 4 times.. then your the fault because your not learning or something about it you like.. however, never blame them, when you should know what you do yourself….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well then Jack stop going for the same female and start recognising it before you do…. it is your responsibility that you see only the same… remember that dear friend

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Truth, and I now have a much better female friend, one who isn’t manipulative, mercenary, and cruel. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hmm, good on you jacko, we are a little crazy however, I am very happy for you jack x

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Why, thank you ma’am ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  5. My father used to call us girls, “The ducks of the Devil”, what does that mean? Well, women are female and you my dear man is a man, we don’t ever see the same thing or even talk the same language, however, women are the ones that get that bit where we look like the devil of you men. It’s her fault, if it wasn’t for her i wouldn’t be this way, think this way, do this way, etc… However, it takes two to walk any path and a good women is a good partner and never disagree with that factor Jacko… Not all women are sluts, cheats, liars, or even nasty. Some of us love with all our hearts and even we feel sad, neglecteed and a little let down.. Life is about getting out of your comfort zone, not blaming the other person for you getting out of your comfort zone… what is the fun of that…, right?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree with you completely and utterly. However sometimes some women are just black widow spiders in female form. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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