Unwise Friendships

true friends always bring out the best in you
and will always stand by you

beware of women drinking beer in bars

The people I have become ‘friends’ with in the past have had both positive and negative effects on my life.  My friends have improved me and brought me down.  I have spent too much time with toxic people and some of their habits have rubbed off on me.  Things that should have been utterly acceptable to me became almost acceptable for a time.  Of course the ideal is for my friends to bring out the best in me, to help me to grow, to stand by me in times of trouble ~ that hasn’t always happened.  In fact sometimes it has been the reverse.

In life you will realise there is a purpose in everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most importantly…..  some will bring out the best in you.  ~  C.S. Lewis

Just recently I have come to accept that a supposedly very close friend used me badly, and brought out the very worst in me.

I actually believe that everyone we meet, we meet for a reason.  Sadly, at the time, we seldom know the reasons.  Just because I met someone didn’t and shouldn’t have meant that she became and stayed my friend.  Perhaps I should be more ready and willing to lose friends and acquaintances who repeatedly caused me pain and distress, took up a great deal of my time and money, offering me little in return.

I do not have to justify why I am moving away from toxic and uncaring friends.  I am and was willing to share my concerns and worries with them, but I should never expect anyone to change on my behalf.  People are often blind to their own weaknesses and faults, may refuse to accept that they can be in the wrong, and blame me when the friendship got into rocky waters and sank.

Being utterly honest with those around me is important.

It is sad when friendships break up due to time, circumstances, and different wants, needs, and desires.  But it’s inevitable that some friendships and love affairs fail.  Often it was those sad times that showed me who my true friends are.

Those true and real friendships are the ones I should treasure.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

some people have caused me pain

and I have been guilty too

 

 

6 responses

  1. This was a thoughtful post and one to which many readers (like me!) can relate. You express very well the conundrum of letting a friendship go beyond its shelf life emotionally, and that some friendships are really “frenemy” relationships. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Some ‘friendships’ are sick, toxic, and dysfunctional from the very beginning, but it can take us years to realise that simple fact. Not everything turns out the way you think it ought to be. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. They teach us what we do not want for ourselves. They teach us to seal up our borders and craft new boundaries. They teach us to put ourselves first. How else would we learn these lessons? They, painfully so, are the catalyst for growth. Catch your breath in-between and lick your wounds because until we fully integrate these lessons of unconditional self love, there’s another nasty waiting in the wings for us. I’m a believer- we attract just what we need. Beautiful people and circumstances come our way but may not grab our attention the way a stab to the soul will. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being stabbed in the heart is painful, but it certainly taught me a lesson. But the lesson was ‘trust less’. I’m not happy to have learned that lesson. Perhaps the real lesson should have been: ‘be more careful who you trust’. 🌹

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great thoughts about friendship! Yes, a true friend will indeed bring out the best in you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Christne. Bad friends bring out the worst. 🌹

      Liked by 1 person

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