The Snake In My Head

you cannot fix something if you don’t know it’s broken

Each and every one of us is programmed ~ what we think, what we believe, how we behave, what we like and what we dislike are automatic responses, programmed reactions and actions buried deep in our subconscious. Our conscious minds only govern what we do about 10% of the time, and most of the time what our conscious minds do, think, and feel is based on all that stuff way down in our unconsciousness. So, if you are scared of snakes, it isn’t a conscious thing, it’s actually a primeval race-memory so far down in your subconscious you don’t even know it’s there until the first time you come across a serpent.

If you have problems in your life, if you can’t handle certain situations, if you keep lurching from one disastrous relationship to another, then you are not consciously doing that on purpose. A string of dysfunctional relationships in your past, and the likelihood that you will repeat the same mistakes over and over again in the future, means that there is something dysfunctional with the tapes in your unconscious mind.

The scary thing is that all that programming, all of your beliefs, behaviors, and opinions were put there before you were seven years old. The adults in your life; your parents, your wider family, older siblings, teachers impressed their thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits, and prejudices upon your unformed mind while you were still a child. And there was nothing whatsoever you could do about it. Ergo, if you are a borderline alcoholic, drug addict, a heavy smoker, or obese ~ it’s not all your own fault. If you’re promiscuous, dishonest, and continually finding yourself in toxic relationships, then that’s not completely your fault either. It’s because you were taught all those things when you didn’t know any better.

Before I was five years old I was taught that women are lying bitches, and that men who have anything to do with women are bad. I was taught that sex is nasty, dirty, and wrong. I was taught that love is meaningless, that interpersonal relationships are always toxic, and that sex outside of marriage is a sin that will send me to hell. I know who did that to me.

It took me right up until a few days ago to realise this, to truly know what was broken in me. Right up until a few days ago my life was dysfunctional, I was unable to have a stable relationship, I couldn’t ever be truly open, honest, trusting, or loving. My life was toxic. I drank to much to escape the way I always acted and reacted.

If that is anything like you, then look deep within to find out what is broken in you. Then, when you know what’s broken you might have some chance of fixing it. Be like me and kill the snake in your mind.

jack collier