Sharing Love

love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies

Well, perhaps, but even in the truest of loves between the most compatible of people each of them has their own separate road to walk.  They may walk it together, supporting each other always, and the one may carry the other for a time, but each one wants / should / must have their own choices to make.  It is a truism that you cannot / should not / must not try to live another person’s life for them.

More than that, almost every adult craves their independence, needs their time alone, and wants to be able to make their own mistakes.  The thing about romantic partnerships and love is that the partners should be good friends, perhaps each another’s very best friend.  And the thing about very good friends is that you don’t always want to see them, but you always want to know that they’re there.

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main….. ~ John Donne

Sharing everything with your partner might sound ideal, and I guess many young lovers strive for that perfect ideal, but there is nothing worse in life than perfection.  Living in your partner’s pocket is claustrophobic, actually living with anyone every minute of every single day, month in and month out, would constitute a cruel and unusual punishment in most legal systems.  But solitary confinement is even worse.

How much you share with your partner, and how much of your partner you share with others is, like all of life, a balancing act.  But I would strongly suggest that sharing absolutely everything isn’t going to work for most people.

Here I can best speak for myself; a real, honest, honourable, steadfast, and true man.  And I need time alone, not fully engaged with anyone or anything other than myself, my innermost thoughts, and the Goddess of my understanding.  Men such as I tend to seek out solitary pastimes ~ I take long meditative walks by the sea.  But from time to time some company is nice.

Most men have very poor conversational skills in comparison to their female partner, so telling her about ‘everything that happened in my day’ is difficult for men.  Similarly, listening to her narrate her day’s events is hard for men.  And trust me on this; some of the things she may have done he will not ever want to know.  Men have very poor empathy in comparison to women.

And then; a man’s feelings, drives, and needs are very different from a woman’s.  He will not ever want to know about your past and the other men in it, and if he does a woman should worry.  The same goes for men in your present life, (coworkers and such).

People who want to know everything about you and live with you 24 / 7 are but one step from spying, stalking, and gaslighting.  Maybe ~ so give each other some space.

(there is a whole other set of meanings about ‘sharing’ in relationships ~ but I’m not going to go there)

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

most women would not want to be chained

not all the time anyway

2 responses

  1. Agree! There needs to be the right balance in sharing… lots of but not too much. I’ve never actually found it, probably my own fault ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I doubt it’s your fault, except maybe in not always picking the right man. ❤
      Some couples seem to share nothing at all. On the other hand, some people want to know every single detail ~ and that is kinda creepy.

      Liked by 1 person

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