the company you keep dictates the choices that you make

perhaps this man is not a true friend to her

Most of us have all sorts of friends, and in our past we have had all other sorts of friends, depending on how you define a friend.  There are twitter and facebook ‘friends,’ those who regularly follow our blog, and some of them may become long distance friends we email, chat with, phone…..  Then there are members of our church, neighbours, coworkers, golf / tennis / walking / sports buddies, other members of whatever groups we have joined, drinking buddies, fuck-buddies, and lovers.  There are also people we, (more or less), have to closely relate with; parents, other family members, husbands / wives, partners, and children ~ we may or not count any of these as our friend.

And then there are false friends, fake friends, enemies disguised as friends.  Just because someone hangs out with you, drinks with you, laughs with you, and has sex with you doesn’t mean they are your friend.  People pretend well, everybody lies by omission, people use you for their own ends, and some people will be nice to your face and talk shit about you behind your back.  Some people are very good at being fake.

Real friends will bring out the best in you, fake friends will take your very best and use it for their own ends.  An evil fake friend will take everything you have and use it to satisfy their own perverted desires.

I firmly believe that everyone we meet, we meet for a reason, but some of these reasons are to teach us a hard lesson, and if we don’t learn and live by those lessons, then we will go on becoming ‘friends’ with toxic people who will teach us those hard lessons over and over again.  When you fail a test, life will make you retake it, as many times as you need to learn, accept, and understand those hard lessons.

Be ready and willing to lose, reject, and walk away from toxic friends and dysfunctional relationships. Watch out for people who are;

• mean, unkind, and abusive to you
• belittle you, are jealous of you, will not accept the real you
• are selfish, narcissistic, uncaring of your needs
• have values, opinions, habits and behaviours that make you feel uncomfortable.
• get drunk, use drugs, abuse prescription medication, gamble, cheat, steal, engage in promiscuity with people they pick up in bars

Walk away from those people and all of their friends.  Don’t ever try to explain or justify anything, just run far, run fast, and never once look back.

Most of all, remain true to yourself.

Some say that your friends can make or break you.  And that some of the most poisonous people come disguised as friends and family.  All I know is that when you have a true and genuine friend, you don’t deal with the fakes anymore.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

nobody you meet in a bar will ever be a true friend to you