Stress #8 ~ Not Being Yourself

follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness

Most people, women especially, spend most of their lives being someone else.  They play multiple roles, mostly to please other people.  Deep down they know that they should be who they are and say what they feel, because those who will object don’t matter, and those who really matter will not object.  All the world is a stage and we are but players, and we play the role that seems to fit the situation we are in and pleases the people we are with.

Doing that is incredibly debilitating, causes destructive anxieties, and creates enervating stress deep within your psyche.  To begin with there is always the nagging but unheeded thought; why isn’t the real me good enough for him?  And, you will get so good at playing the wife, partner, girlfriend, mistress, lover….. that you will lose your true self, that you will forget who you are.

To escape from the self-imposed prison of always being someone and something that, when it comes right down to it you aren’t and never were or wanted to be, you must first of all win back your self-confidence and self awareness.  Develop a fuck him, fuck them, fuck the whole world attitude of mind.  Be yourself.

It’s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not.  ~  André Gide

Some people are not going to like that.  If you’ve been going to football games / baseball / ice hockey / casinos / to see horse racing and betting on it with your guy just because he likes that, and suddenly you tell him that you hate all that shit, well, he might not be happy.  He will be shocked that his perfect woman suddenly has a mind of her own.

Some women have it much worse than that; their partner may encourage them to drink and use drugs, take them to very shady bars, get them into BDSM, subject them to mental and physical abuse, share them with other men…..  You know something, if that’s you, then stop it now, before he kills you.

Be yourself, don’t take anything from anyone, and never let them take you alive.  ~  Gerard way

It’s good to be you, and it’s hip to be square.

If you have to then get out, escape, leave, find a new home and a new life, and if you must with a much better guy.  However, I would caution you most sincerely, it might be a bad idea to leave one relationship and walk right into another.  What could be worse is to start a new romance while you are still in your dysfunctional relationship.  That’s unless the new man you have found is a very special individual indeed, and encourages you to be you.

About all you can do in life is be who you are.  Some people will love you for you.  Most will love you for what you can do for them. and some won’t like you at all.  ~  Rita Mae Brown.

Some say they will do anything for a quiet life.  And that you cannot change who you have become.  All I know is that you should always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

don’t find yourself drinking at a bar

alone and hoping for a date

be it good or bad

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