Stress #2 ~ Dysfunctional Relationships

a healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice yourself

everyone in this picture is part of a toxic relationship

Extreme stress will kill you, but before that it will make you ill, take away your dignity and self-respect, take away your friends, maybe your career, maybe your children, and everything else you care for.  One of the principal causes of stress, especially among women, is to be in a dysfunctional relationship.  I say especially among women because thick-skinned, insensitive men have an uncanny ability to be utterly oblivious to things that are going badly wrong in a relationship, ignore how stressed and distressed their partner is, and if they were aware something isn’t right couldn’t care less about trying to make things better.  Add to that, in many cases it is the guy, and the way he acts, that makes any relationship utterly dysfunctional in the first place.

Dysfunctional and toxic relationships range in severity from; two people just not being in love anymore, and not really getting along, maybe mostly ignoring one another, leading separate lives…..  through mental abuse, verbal abuse…..  and finally severe physical abuse, beatings, rape, and in the end murder.  All of that is incredibly stressful and distressing.

Dysfunctional Relationships do not perform their appropriate function; that is, they do not emotionally support the participants, foster communication between them, appropriately challenge them, or prepare to fortify them for life in the larger world.  ~  Tina B. Tessina Ph.D.

There are 7 key signs of a toxic and dysfunctional relationship;

  1. Tedium.  The partners are bored sick with each other, do nothing together, have the same argument over and over again, never have sex…..
  2. Blaming.  Everything is his / her / your fault, no matter what.
  3. Guilt.  You’re constantly apologising for everything, even things that aren’t your fault at all.  You do it mostly to keep the peace.
  4. Tension.  You are always waiting for the explosion, dreading what he’s going to scream at you about next.
  5. Uncertainty.  Where is he / she, what are they doing, when are they going to get home?  One minute your partner is sweet and kind, the next you can do no right.
  6. Frustration.  Doing even the simplest of things is hugely complicated and time-consuming.  If you try to lead and take charge yo will be attacked, if you are passive you will be attacked for that instead.
  7. Hopelessness.  The dark cloud hanging over your life will never go away, there’s nothing you can do, you are doomed and trapped forever.

I would add to that, a relationship is completely toxic if either or both of the partners indulges in; alcoholism, casual sex, drug abuse, gambling, promiscuity, extreme pornography, on-line dating, prostitutes / prostitution…..  Just how stressful do you want me to get?  If you’re in that kind of a relationship you are slowly dying.

The very sad thing is that toxic and dysfunctional relationships are a multi-generational sickness ~ if your parents were in a toxic relationship, then in all likelihood so are you.

Some say that their relationship is their sanctuary, no matter how toxic it is.  And that he may be an alcoholic but we love each other, really, honestly…..  All I know is that if you are suffering from severe distress all you can do is walk away, and never once look back.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Mental abuse is incredibly stressful

Mental abuse is torture

21 responses

  1. […] to being in a dysfunctional relationship, money troubles are the commonest cause of severe stress.  Sadly, dysfunctional relationships and […]

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  2. This post is so relate-able. Add fear, apprehension to that list, perhaps. It’s a compilation of what’s not good: so, lack of the caring/thoughtfulness/gratitude/compassion that is needed for a truly happy way to mutually relate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jan. I write this stuff from the heart.
      I have to be careful that these posts don’t get far too long.
      Hugs Sweetheart 💖💖💖

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I’ve recently figured out that my history of toxic relationships relates to the fact that I was raised in dysfunction. I’m hoping that now that I know this, I can stop the cycle, lol. We’ll see. For now, my nice break of self care continues 😉 And maybe it will just continue on indefinitely. It’s so nice to feel peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Our first priority should always be to take care of ourselves; for if we are not fit, healthy, strong, and happy, then how can we be of any use to those we care for. ❤
      As a cool and empowered woman you deserve to spend a lot of time in just pampering yourself ~ it's good for you to feel good.
      Sadly the children of dysfunctional relationships usually find themselves suffering through a series of toxic relationships.
      Enjoy your peace Sweetheart ❤ ❤ ❤

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  4. 😂🤣🤣 and why thank you ❤❤❤😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is my honour pleasure to compliment you. 🌹

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Awww thats sweet jack! I feel honored for such a sweet thought ❤ thank you so much for caring 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It helps that you’re a Perfectly Beautiful Princess captured by a wicked ogre. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Jack that is so sweet and beautiful…thank you! That’s amazing 💜❤😊👸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even for a brave Knight Errant such as I, across the Atlantic is a long way to come and rescue you from the dark dungeon you find yourself in. But I will try Princess, I will try ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Lmao 😂..angel wont suffer forever Jack..I got sidetracked but I never quit..got lost for a bit…but winning xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good Girl. You will always be my gf. 🌹🌹🌹

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      1. Awwww….your so sweet! And I will always be your GF too…those kind of friends are hard to find…❤ I treasure people jack treasure life xo

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Angel, you are a very special woman indeed. You deserve to be treated like a fairy tale Princess. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

          Liked by 1 person

  8. OH dear Passionate Angel. At least you don’t suffer from the full set 🌹🌹🌹

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  9. 2, 3, 4, 6, 7….wow ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Dear Angel, look on the bright side, at least you don’t suffer from the full set 🌹

      Liked by 1 person

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