Coping with Stress #I

the greatest weapon against stress is;
our ability to choose one thought over another

Extreme stress and anxiety, the kind that dominates your life, gives you chest pains, and will eventually kill you should really be called distress; meaning extreme anxiety, sorrow, and pain.  If you can identify with that, then you are not alone, many, many people suffer from that kind of distress ~ I did for a long, long time.

So how do you cope, how do you get through the day, each and every single fucking miserable, painful day?  If you are like most people, myself included at the time, you will likely resort to taking a drink or three to numb the pain.  You may also indulge in some other risky behaviours, casual sex, drugs, gambling, promiscuity, over-eating, smoking, starving yourself…..  If you have been sensible you will have seen your doctor, and the chances are they will have given you an anti-depressant drug such as Prozac, or worse a beta-blocker or narcotic.  Maybe your doctor will have referred you for talking therapy, but I doubt it, and if you did see a therapist / psychologist / psychiatrist I doubt if it did you much good.

To cope with anxiety, depression, and stress, to cure yourself of the debilitating effects of these interconnected mental illnesses, you have to change yourself and your life.

Stress comes from knowing what is right and doing what is wrong.  ~  Larry Winget

You don’t want to know this, but the best way to cope with anxiety, depression, stress….. is to remove yourself from whatever is causing your pain.  Snag is, not many are brave enough nor strong enough to leave their job, relationship, marriage, home, abuser, addiction…..  I did, I left a highly paid career in International Banking and Finance because the stress was killing me.  But there’s another problem, we can become so addicted to anxiety, depression, and stress, that when we take away one reason for our suffering we soon find another to replace it.  I did, I left the stress of work and substituted instead the stress of dysfunctional interpersonal relationships ~ and all through all of it I was drinking heavily.

When I say that to escape from your suffering you will probably have to change yourself, your life, your career, your habits, your friendships, your relationships ~ I mean exactly that, and it’s hard.  Medication, drugs, booze, and displacement activities will mask your pain for a while, but it’s a band-aid on an a broken heart.  Talking therapy works with a good; counsellor / therapist / psychologist, but it will take 1 to 3 years before it’s really becoming effective.  If you want something immediate, right now, something that works, then it’s down to you, and the first thing you must do is stop doing whatever you’re doing to mask the pain; drinking, useless medication, casual sex, drugs, gambling, promiscuity, over-eating, starving yourself…..  Only then can you know yourself and deal with the causes of your pain.

Some say that their stress isn’t so bad.  And that a couple of drinks in the evening makes it bearable.  All I know is that if you drink every evening, for year after year, then you’re slowly killing yourself.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

you may drink at home

rather than in a sleazy bar

the bad effects are the same

16 responses

  1. […] honestly…..  All I know is that if you are suffering from severe distress all you can do is walk away, and never once look […]

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  2. Thanks jack that means so much to me very kind and likewise ❤💖💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We all need support sometimes, I am grateful for yours. You have my support, anytime, and always. 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I need the stress to stop that’s a fact your right! Great post jack and so informative! And keep up on this path it is a beautiful rewarding one…and others will follow 💖❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sweetheart, most of all I would like you to find a way to leave your stress behind. Lean on me, I will be there to support you. 🌹

      Liked by 1 person

  4. “displacement activities”

    I hear you loud and clear. You’re absolutely right and it’s difficult to impossible to change bad coping mechanisms. It takes something more than sheer willpower. There is A LOT of trial and error and relearning involved. There is a lot of self forgiveness and self love and picking yourself back up again and starting over. There are few things I can think of more difficult than changing oneself really. But with motivation, determination and consistency almost anything is possible. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Lol💋

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I’ve been there. I almost killed myself trying to cope with stress, self-medicating with drink. And that was after I walked away from my career because the stress was killing me. Changing myself wasn’t easy, trial and error, two steps forward and one step back. Or two steps forward and three steps back.
      Sweetheart, BE WILLING TO CHANGE 💖💖💖💖💖💖
      You can e-mail me any time, about anything. 🌹

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  5. This post hit home.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Jan, I am glad I was able to reach your heart. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Jan, I am glad I was able to reach your heart. ❤

      Like

    2. Angel, you know that I have been there, I have seen the demons, I speak from my heart to yours. 🌹🌹🌹

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know and the demons will destroy you if you let them..changing situations change everything 💜

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Angel, I could not have written that post if I was not recovering, self-aware, and self-assured. I am much, much better than I was just a couple of weeks ago. I want you to have the recovery from distress that I am enjoying 💖💖💖

          Liked by 1 person

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