to give, and not to count the cost

sometimes, like now, I’m spreading myself a little bit thin

alone again, naturally

The last few days have a reminder to me that; when I’m good, I’m far too good for my own good.  The very cool gentleman at the core of my true persona is kind, generous, supportive, understanding, and totally taken for granted ~ especially by women.  Some women seem to think that if a guy is kind, generous, supportive, and understanding, then they don’t have to try very hard to keep him hanging around at their beck and call.  On the other hand some women will do almost anything to keep a real bastard in their lives.

I have no intention of turning into a real bastard, but neither am I going to live on the crumbs that some people seem to think will keep me enraptured enough to sick around.

I am reminded of the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola;

to give and not to count the cost

to fight and not to heed the wounds

to toil and not to seek for rest

to labour and not to ask for any reward

Well, I am no plaster saint, and although from time to time those words could have been an accurate description of parts of my life, I’m walking away from all that.

Some also seem to believe that a man’s friendship and love should be courtly and unconditional ~ which is not how women operate at all.  In general women are hard-wired to get everything they possibly can from a man, with as little cost to themselves as they can get away with.  In general a hell of a lot of women are just an inch away from being a real bitch.

I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.  If that makes me a bitch, okay.  ~  Madonna

Love songs, love stories, romantic tales of the knights of yore, all talk about the man who will love a woman more than life, unconditionally and eternally, and then they live happily ever after together.  Only in reality it doesn’t happen like that.  A really good man might give his all to a woman unconditionally, only to have to watch her walk off into the sunset with some real bad boy.  I have been on the losing side of that more than once.

And some women truly do give their friendship, kindness, understanding, and support, asking little in return, other than reliability, steadfastness, and courtly love.

Okay, that’s the end of today’s hurt.  And, at least I have one very good and loyal female friend, although she does live about 5,000 miles away.

Some say that when a man loves a woman he should love her unconditionally.  And that a man should give his all to any woman who has befriended him.  All I know is that I have never made promises lightly, but whatever promises I have made are just about to get broken.


jack collier

sometimes survival is all you have


13 responses

  1. Colette Bytes
    Maybe, or maybe I live in hope. ❤


  2. I agree with Colette and Traveller. I hope your day gets better! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Jack, not all women are ‘bitches.’ You just haven’t met the right ones, or perhaps it is you who have only sought out ‘bad girls’ who eventually disappear with ‘bad guys.’
    And Jack, sometimes you have to see the beauty inside a person (rather than the glitzy, fake, wrapping on the outside).

    I am now in Thailand and here the young pretty girls throw themselves at, and entice ‘old men.’ They are not looking for love or romance… They want money and a better life… Trade offs are never a solution for companionship.

    Be real to yourself. Pick the ugly duckling and you might just end up with a beautiful Swan! But, not many women can live up to the beauty standards of the photos you post. Those that do have honed it into an art of seduction, for financial gain only! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes I post tasteful monochrome fantasy, but few of us live in black and white.
      My quote was by a woman about herself, and I think Madonna is probably a bitch in real life too.
      I am afraid my ‘bitch’ was a trophy wife, who fulfilled all the criteria of the glitzy young girl enticing an older, much richer man.
      Not all models sleep with their photographer


      1. I see it all the time Jack. Older men do not like getting old. None of us do. But men in particular are so easily brought down by younger women. For some reason, they just can’t see the fake devotion of these young women. Maybe it’s the sudden feeling of renewed sexual prowess, or the feeling that they are going to be the be all and end all of these women, but men become blind sighted to the obvious downfalls of getting into these mismatched relationships. Once the girl feels she no longer has any financial gain or feels she is losing her autonomy, she will be off… And that happens before the older man’s ardour has worn off. He is left feeling stupid and betrayed. Jack… It is a pattern that I see over and over.

        I am married (for 16 years in this relationship) . A lot of the bloom is off the rose. Women age, menopause isn’t kind at all, and we women cannot live up to the fantasies of the older man. My husband has them too… But he does see the pitfalls of his fantasies. I cannot guarantee that he won’t do something silly though, and end our relationship, our marriage for that zing in his footsteps and a renewed sexual fantasy. You men are so easily swayed by it.

        Take warning Jack. Unless you find a woman of your own age, you will not find the friendship and companionship that you desire. Younger, beautiful women will only bring you a sexual conquest and a lightened wallet, nothing else. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The real woman I love is 60 years old.


          1. Does she not love you back?

            Liked by 1 person

  4. t_r_a_v_e_l_l_e_r | Reply

    Having a bad day?? Yet, love is unconditional, it just happens, and I believe we shouldn’t run towards certain things like it, when they’re meant to be happened, they will happen. But if we try to run constantly towards them, they will run farther away from us. And about giving and taking, why to expect anything? If we do the deed from our heart, we don’t expect anything, that’s how our strength should be, which I guess is not the case all the time, but at least we could learn to be and I know how it hurts when we expect something and we don’t get it. That’s why I just don’t expect anything now from anyone. Hope you have a good day, pal.😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m having a bad week, or maybe just a crappy life. You don’t ask to love someone, it just happens, even if it’s the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong circumstances ~ and as for me, I can’t stop loving someone, no matter how much I would like to. But, I can stop being used like a dog, taken for granted, being an open wallet, the unpaid handyman….. My expectations aren’t much, but unrequited love isn’t going to be one of them.
      I have a feeling that my day is going to get much, much worse.
      Maybe something good will happen in 2020. ❤ ❤ 😉


      1. t_r_a_v_e_l_l_e_r | Reply

        Well, it seems that you may need to raise your self love and standards high, so high that you might not care of what’s happening around you and you’ll find that fulfilling happiness within you, but I maybe somewhere wrong about whatever I said there but you deserve much more than you are having these days and life has its own twists and turns, who knows, something good MIGHT happen today with you. And yes, always keep faith and yes something better WILL happen in 2020!😊😊 Just don’t lose hope✊✊✊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Self-love, right now I don’t even like myself very much.
          I believe that you are perfectly correct in everything you have said, but sometimes shit happens, and 2019 was and will be mostly shit. I don’t think there’s much I can do about that.
          Thank you for caring ❤ ❤ ❤

          Liked by 1 person

          1. t_r_a_v_e_l_l_e_r

            I hope your days progress and get happier and take care❤❤❤❤❤

            Liked by 1 person

          2. t_r_a_v_e_l_l_e_r

            I hope your days progress and get happier and take care. It will all b better in the end❤❤❤❤❤

            Liked by 1 person

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