if you remember people, then they will remember you
don’t just be one of the crowd
This is the time of year that most of us think back and remember old friends we haven’t seen for years, or even family members we hardly ever meet. I’m reminded of that with every Christmas card I write, and by each one I receive. Every year I am glad that I keep a Christmas card list, with up to date names and addresses, and that I take the trouble to send a card to everyone on the list. And like many people nowadays I add a few lines about what my year has been like.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. ~ Dale Carnigie
There are some places I can go where I am almost certain to be recognised by someone I haven’t seen in years ~ and then I have to dredge through the corridors of my mind to put a name to the face. I’s actually surprising and delightful when someone you haven’t met for a long time shows that they remember you ~ and it’s cool to be able to show the same courtesy.
It may seem insignificant but, if you remember people, they will remember you and that’s essential if you want to be successful in Life and Love. Some may find this easy, if they have the kind of photographic memory that can recall faces, names, places, and events ~ but we can all do this too with just a little work. Back in the day I used to keep a notebook; names and a few personal details of the interesting people I met. If you’re a guy it’s doubly essential that you remember the women you meet.
The most important thing is to listen ~ stop talking, let other people talk for a change, and really listen. That doesn’t mean saying nothing, a real man’s role in a conversation is to ask questions and encourage the other person, (or people), to share things about themselves. Look for things that truly matter to them. You will learn so much more about people if you try this, and when I was a deliberately good listener I learned a hell of a lot about myself too.
But, FFS, don’t make notes where others can see you writing stuff down. That will get you into trouble ~ you may even get your face slapped. I did.
If your notebook is to have any point, then you have to do something with it, preferably at the end of every day. These days the best thing to do would be to create some kind of a database or computerised directory, even if it’s just simple stuff like partner’s name, children’s names, birthdays, where they work, what they’re vitally interested in….. Back in the day I had a card index. These days I have a Christmas card list.
Some say that it’s pointless remembering people because you may never meet them again. And that listening to other people talk is incredibly boring. All I know is that I used to be the best there ever was, because I remembered people.
if you want to be successful in Love
the at least get her name right