The ideal day never comes. Today is ideal for him who makes it so.
This is what the inside of my mind looks like.
I’ve not been well, although am much better today, with much to get through. I’m hoping you are all well, and going to have a good day.
I’ve been very critical of myself, because I didn’t meet my own expectations. Based on my own black and white thinking, my own standards of perfection, I will never have an ideal day. Perhaps there is no such thing as a perfect day. Each day happens just the way it’s supposed to, with its imperfections as well as its achievements. If I have a terrible day, it’s only because I believed it was going to be a lousy day. By the same token, if I have a good day, it was because I believed it was going to be a good day, and not because the sun was shining, or we had a good conversation ~ (although that helps).
Every day is different. Some days may be enjoyable, while others may be difficult to get through. Instead of being judgemental, I can see each day as a mindful experience. What I learn from the day, as well as my attitude about it, is my daily lesson.I have been having some very difficult days to get through. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My expectations have been all wrong, and my attitude has been bad. My mind is a complete mess.
I have screwed up in a very big way, let down my family and friends, and let down myself.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a very serious illness.
I have it, although I am recovering.