Screwed-up

By jackcollier7 on December 4, 2019

The ideal day never comes. Today is ideal for him who makes it so.

This is what the inside of my mind looks like.

I’ve not been well, although am much better today, with much to get through. I’m hoping you are all well, and going to have a good day.

I’ve been very critical of myself, because I didn’t meet my own expectations. Based on my own black and white thinking, my own standards of perfection, I will never have an ideal day. Perhaps there is no such thing as a perfect day. Each day happens just the way it’s supposed to, with its imperfections as well as its achievements. If I have a terrible day, it’s only because I believed it was going to be a lousy day. By the same token, if I have a good day, it was because I believed it was going to be a good day, and not because the sun was shining, or we had a good conversation ~ (although that helps).

Every day is different. Some days may be enjoyable, while others may be difficult to get through. Instead of being judgemental, I can see each day as a mindful experience. What I learn from the day, as well as my attitude about it, is my daily lesson.I have been having some very difficult days to get through. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My expectations have been all wrong, and my attitude has been bad. My mind is a complete mess.

I have screwed up in a very big way, let down my family and friends, and let down myself.

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Borderline Personality Disorder is a very serious illness.

I have it, although I am recovering.

13 responses

jilldennison December 4, 2019 at 7:27 pm | Reply

Your mind appears structurally sound … just needs a bit of housekeeping and TLC. Be well, Jack. Hugs! ❤

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1. jackcollier7 December 4, 2019 at 7:34 pm | Reply
  
  My mind is working fine, but it’s going in the wrong direction ❤❤❤
  
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  1. jilldennison December 5, 2019 at 7:31 am | Reply
    
    I know … I was just judging by the picture, where the building looked structurally sound, but needed the cobwebs cleaned out a bit … getting rid of some of the detritus. 😉 If I can help … you’ve got my email address. ❤
    
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    1. jackcollier7 December 5, 2019 at 11:32 am | Reply
      
      Thanks ever so Jill 💖💖💖
      
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magickmermaid December 4, 2019 at 4:08 pm | Reply

Your mind is not a complete mess! You are helping yourself get through a difficult time which requires great fortitude. Sending healing energy!

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1. jackcollier7 December 4, 2019 at 4:37 pm | Reply
  
  Thank you Mermaid, your kind words are much appreciated ❤❤❤
  
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janowrite December 4, 2019 at 3:34 pm | Reply

Best regards and thoughts always

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1. jackcollier7 December 4, 2019 at 4:38 pm | Reply
  
  💖💖💖
  
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Garfield Hug December 4, 2019 at 12:23 pm | Reply

Big Garfield hugs JC!! Know thar you are loved and that you are important. Your visits and comments on my site are always a joy to read and see. You never fail to remember me to cheer me up when ill. 💕💕🤗🤗

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1. jackcollier7 December 4, 2019 at 1:12 pm | Reply
  
  Thanks Sweetheart, it’s always good to hear from you. ❤ ❤
  
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  1. Garfield Hug December 4, 2019 at 1:23 pm | Reply
    
    💕💕🤗🤗
    
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martina kia December 4, 2019 at 12:18 pm | Reply

Sending hugs and happy thoughts😊😊. I hope it brightens up your day, even if it’s just for a little while.

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1. jackcollier7 December 4, 2019 at 1:13 pm | Reply
  
  Thank you Martina 😉
  
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