Recurring Dream

your dark dream returns out of love

For some reason I have hardly ever remembered my dreams for a long while.  I would like to say that I haven’t been dreaming at all, but I don’t think that’s even possible.  I’ll come back to that point in a while. Yesterday morning I did recall the vivid dark dream I had, and I remembered it well enough to describe my dream to a close friend.

Me, wandering alone, in a desolate landscape.  It was not some desert, nor an icy wasteland, the desolation was very near and all around where I lived as a young boy, in a coal mining village, in the North East of England.  Spoil heaps, abandoned railway tracks, neglected and rusting machinery, an abandoned quarry…..  I think I was content in my solitary wandering.  Then, after a while I met some people I didn’t know well.  There was conflict between us in what seemed like a hospital, or school, or some such other place of officialdom.  There was more to the dream but not so well remembered.

For some reason I recalled that dream again late last evening ~ and it was then I remembered I had been having that same or dream for years, perhaps for decades.  It is my recurring dream of desolate isolation and conflict with officialdom.  And perhaps for the me in my dream officialdom would be my parents, carers, and teachers.

I can do no better here than give you a quote;

Recurring dreams usually mean there is something in your life you’ve not acknowledged that is causing stress of some sort.  The dream repeats because you have not corrected the problem.  Another theory is that people who experience recurring dreams have some sort of trauma in their past they are trying to deal with.  ~  Lee Ann Obringer

I suffer from a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), many doctors, psychologists and the like believe that BPD is the result of childhood trauma that has not been acknowledged and is causing severe stress.  My dream may be my subconscious mind telling me that I need to deal with my past, back to when I was a boy, in a pit village, wandering alone in desolation.

The exact details of your recurring dreams does not matter so much because they will change over time.  What matters is the emotion, the impression, the theme.

Today I woke at 03:15.  I do not remember dreaming.  Quite often I wake at about half-past-three in the morning.  I believe that I am waking myself just before I am about to experience my recurring dream.  I believe I am afraid of what is in my dream, and that something is protecting me, preventing me from having that dark dream tonight.

Some say that they never have dreams.  And others say that they can never remember their dreams beyond a few moments.  All I know is that my recurring dark dream of desolation and conflict has stayed with me my whole life.


jack collier

in the dark moonlight

our past returns

7 responses

  1. I also had one recurring dream for decades since childhood. It disappeared once I worked out the problem. For me, the key not being afraid in the dream itself and not being afraid of it recurring.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The greatest fear is that of the unknown.
      Me, I didn’t even know what it was I didn’t know. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve had several recurring dreams over the course of my life. Some stayed mostly the same, while others were sequential as I worked through the issues at hand. Grief, stress, trauma. There’s something very special about the subconscious… it will only allow you to access as much as you’re ready for at any given time without being pushed out through therapy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It was only yesterday that I realised I was having a recurring dream, and sometimes stopping myself from having that dream. Obviously not working through the issue.
      The roads of our lives may well be rockier, harder, and longer than we knew. But it seems that if we have recurring dreams there is a safe place within our own hearts for us. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Indeed, my friend. ♥ I would love to hear your opinion on Gestalt Therapy. I can recommend sites and books, etc. Their dream interpretation is different than any I’ve seen before. Gestalt is by far my favorite therapy model. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I just had to look up the meaning of Gestalt.
          I firmly believe in the interconnectedness of all things.
          I am by nature an engineer so I understand the concept of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.
          Would you like me to grok Gestalt dream interpretation and therapy?
          I would be happy to do that. ❤ ❤ 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Sure! That’d be great! The premise is that you dig deeper into each part of the dream… how it feels, the symbolism to you… get into the feeling. Gestalt is the most useful therapeutic tool for me personally. I can think and talk my way around anything. lol Typical talk therapy is useless in all forms for me. Gestalt is all about exaggerating the behavior and feeling, talking to an empty chair to work through the blockages. Get straight to the feeling. It’s emotionally intense and hard as hell, but so very worth it!!!! It took me one Gestalt session to get through to the anger I had at both my parents for the violence in my home as a child…. the abandonment and fear that went with it. I was rung out for about a week and kinda fragile, but it hit the core of the issue. After that ONE session I was finally able to start recovering from a lifelong eating disorder and get ready to work through the rest of the trauma crap. More came up after that which I’d forgotten to keep me functional and somewhat sane. lol But it was over time and when it did happen, I had to kinda stop life for a couple years to work through it. Here I am, back and stronger than ever.

            Liked by 1 person

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