Friendship and Truth

a single rose can be my garden ~ a single friend, my world

Many believe that just because they spend a lot of time with someone, then they are friends.  Or if they are lovers, then they must also be friends.  Or if they just like being with someone, then they must be friends.  Perhaps, and perhaps real and true friendship means much more than that.

Generally, two people are drawn together for some very simple and constantly repeating reasons.  And the most common of these is that they are co-workers.  It’s difficult to spend 8 hours a day with someone without wanting them to be your friend.  There are also some good reasons to be friends with your co-workers; like it gives you someone to go to lunch with.  On the other hand, I’ve worked very closely with people I hated ~ just couldn’t stand them, and outside of working together saw and spoke to them as little as possible.

Common interests also bring people together, for example liking the same sport, pastime, or hobby.  I became friendly with some people I went to a group with, but whether we were real friends is another matter.  I also became friends with some guys I played golf with, but outside of a liking golf we had few other things in common, (except we came from the same socio-economic background).

Common interests include some things that will never create true friendships; ‘drinking buddies’, drugs, gambling, casual sex, stealing….. generally things that people do after dark.

Shared values also bring people together, and here the list is long and strange.  We can include; truth and honesty, thrift and generosity, the church, religion, human rights, charitable causes, politics, green issues, animal protection, belief in a flat Earth, belief in UFOs, belief in extra-terrestrial civilisations, belief in past lives…..  The thing is, if people share the same values they also tend to create groups to support their values and special interests.  But, shared values are not enough to create a true friendship, they just bring people together.

Conversely, if two people have very divergent values they can never become true friends.

Of course, one reason people might say they are friends is if they are having sex.  Fucking someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re friends ~ probably people who just have sex are not real friends.  Some marriages might have good sex in them without the partners being true friends.

As far as I’m concerned, before yesterday I was never a true and honest friend with anyone, ever.  I suffer from a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and unless and until you are recovering from that you cannot ever be a real friend to anyone ~ there is just to much boiling shit going on in your mind.  Today I know I am recovering from my illness, and today I hope I have 3 friends.  Three is a good number.

Some say that honest people never hear the truth.  And that very honest people are very impolite.  All I know is that real friendship is based on honesty, openness, and trust.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

today there is a garden in my life

13 responses

  1. 3 is a lot :)) I have zero lol

    Like

    1. You have at least 1 long-distance friend ❤😎

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, honesty, openess and trust are vital. I did not get that with MR EX. I feel one is lucky if you can count the number of friends witb your fingers on death bed. I don’t think I will have 10!🤦‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your Mr EX has never sounded like a good guy to me, and never sounds like a friend to you either. I guess he must have seemed trustworthy once.
      Sweetheart you have a long-distance friend in me. ❤❤❤

      Like

  3. So beautifully written, Jack. I couldn’t agree more. Friendships are truly life’s treasures. You are blessed if you can count on one hand how many friends you have in your life. I’d also like to think that online people can be friends too. 🙂 Distance matters not if the heart and intention are pure and true. 🙂 *hugs to you*! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hugs Penny ❤
      Maybe now my tide has turned you and I could become online friends.
      I love your openness and truth. XXX

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely, Jack! I love how open you are too! Feel free to message me anytime. 🙂 Have a wonderful day, my friend ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ahh, if only I wasn’t banned from Twitter for Life. ❤ ❤ ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  4. People ebb and flow like tides. I have several WordPress friends who check on me from time to time, I’ve never met them in real time, but they support me. Others in my life walk, have supported me and grown away for one reason or another. They have a fragrance of friendship, even if it’s not a thriving relationship. I cherish them, no matter where we’ve grown.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a deep truth Kris.
      I think my tide has turned and is now flowing strongly in my favour.
      If I can share my good feelings with you I would be very glad. ❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a wonderful post, Jack. I call people “friends” for lack of a better word, but most of them are just folks I hang around with because of common interests. Only a very few would help me outside the group and vice versa. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think true friends are very few and far between. Only now, in the past couple of days, do I believe I have what takes is to be a real friend.
      Hugs to you Paula 💖

      Liked by 1 person

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