one second I’m perfectly fine, the next I can explode like a volcano
I suffer from a serious mental illness, and there is no cure.
The major symptoms I suffer from are;
- I have a great fear that the people I care for will abandon me and hurt me.
- I suffer from very intense emotions, and mood swings.
- I am an all or nothing, black and white person.
- I do not have a strong sense of self, (and I have no idea what that means).
- I find it extremely hard to make and keep stable relationships.
- I have hurt the people around me.
- I act impulsively and some of the things I do are dangerous.
- I am the original ‘angry man’.
- I suffer from Retroactive Jealousy
- I suffer from disassociation ~ sometimes people, places, and things don’t seem quite real to me. This also means I can suffer from amnesia and false memories.
- I have ‘attempted suicide’ as a cry for help.
- To escape the pain of my symptoms I can drink far too much.
There is no cure for this illness, but with intensive therapy over I long period I could recover. Snag is that the only therapy I’m getting is the therapy I give myself from books and the internet. It’s called self-directed therapy, and it’s the most painful thing I have ever done in my life.
It’s a long and rocky road indeed.