How To Be Happier

Happiness will not come to you.  Happiness can only come from you.

There are lots of books, TV shows, podcasts, and blog posts that purport to tell us how to be happy.  Some focus on the practical aspects, some on emotional states, some are spiritual, and some others are religious.  Personally, I wouldn’t give much weight to anyone with religion telling me how to be happy, because it will always involve God, (in one way, shape, or form).

God and I went in different directions some time ago.

There are also lots of pithy inspirational sayings about happiness.

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.  ~  Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Not everyone would agree with Roosevelt.

Therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, priests, and inspirational speakers can most likely give us a host of things we can do to improve our happiness.  From; building a growth mindset for happiness, to being optimistic, to ending negative thinking, to taking breaks from social media, to trusting in your higher power, and having a healthy lifestyle.  Having a healthy lifestyle sounds like a good start to me.

Another good start to greater happiness, that comes both before and after having a healthy lifestyle, is dealing with your addictions.  I have yet to meet an alcoholic, problem drinker, drug addict, casual drug user, chronic gambler, someone who often has casual sex, or anyone with an eating disorder who was happy in any way shape or form.  Addicts and people who go against their inner beliefs always live with inner misery.

In fact the list of people who live in utter misery is both long and heartbreaking.  The very sick, the starving, the poor, people living on the streets, those who have recently lost a loved one, refugees, and anyone who abuses their body, mind, and spirit are likely to enjoy little real happiness.

However, some say that you only need 3 big things to be happier;

  1. Work.  Most people don’t like or enjoy their work, which is sad and bad.  Those people should bite the bullet and find a better job for them.  But being out of work means you’re going to be broke and miserable, and work gives you money.
  2. Money.  Money can’t buy happiness, but try living flat broke in modern society to know what misery is.  Having just enough money will make you happier than being broke.
  3. Marriage ~ or a stable long-term relationship.  This gives you things like friendship, security, and sex.  People who live alone for too long are usually miserable and can become mentally ill.

It’s much more complicated than that, but I guarantee that if you don’t have all of those three things you will be very unhappy, probably depressed, and perhaps even suicidal.

Some say that money can’t buy you love.  And that sex without love is just a meaningless mechanical act.  All I know is that for a healthy person to live without sex and companionship is almost the definition of misery.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

friendship, companionship, and sex may come in many different forms

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