Honesty and Openness

Trying to make sense of crazy will drive you crazy.

working late again

There is a truism that everybody lies all the time.  People lie the most to those they are closest to, and often tell the honest and open truth to those that don’t matter at all.  The lies might be deliberate untruths, or a lie may be not telling the whole truth.  A lie by omission is still a lie.  Perhaps the biggest and most hurtful lies are when someone you care for just doesn’t tell you anything at all about something important to your relationship.

The biggest lies, the most lies, are about money and sex.  Someone who cheats on a partner is going to need to weave an immense tissue of lies.  Someone who steals, spends their partner’s money, dissembles, deceives, tricks, and seduces will undoubtedly always have been a liar, and will always be a liar ~ especially they will lie to themselves.

Because liars do not just lie to others, and since they also and always lie to themselves, they often don’t understand honour, honesty, and truth .  Trust me I’ve been there, I have compulsively lied to others, told tall tales, lied by omission, and lied to myself.  Maybe that was not my fault.  For years I suffered from a serious and undiagnosed personality disorder, an emotional illness that I found more than ordinarily difficult to cope with.

Being honest and open takes courage.  Finding an acceptable way to tell an uncomfortable truth takes a lot of emotional energy.  Letting someone know the real you by telling the unvarnished truth is not something many are prepared to do.

I appreciate people who tell me the truth in a gentle way, even when it’s tough to say.  ~  Karen Salmansohn.

Even harder than always telling the truth when asked is being open ~ allowing another person into your comfort zone, letting down the barriers you’ve built precisely to stop others from knowing the real you.  Not many are prepared to let anyone else know who they really, really used to be, are now, and their dreams, desires, and wishes for the future.  These are the most personal things imaginable, often difficult and painful to even think about, let alone talk of.  But it’s precisely because these things in our past, present, and future may be difficult, painful, embarrassing, shaming, and outside of societies accepted ethics that we should be prepared to share them openly and honestly with those we care for the most.

Some say that they never tell a lie, and that is always a lie.  And that they never hide the real truth, and that is always untrue. All I know is a a man is never more honest than when he admits himself a liar.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

and some people can’t help themselves

they are compulsive liars and always will be

walk away

3 responses

  1. Honesty is truly rare these days. There are so many avenues in which people are able to be dishonest. The following link discusses this very topic and will this ever end. https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/watchtower-no1-2016-january/why-people-lie/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Honesty does take courage indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But honesty feels better than a tissue of lies. ❤

      Like

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