Reinventing Yourself

Reinventing yourself is an essential process if you want to flourish

I came to a point in my life where I knew that I had to change, it was time to make a fresh start.  As we mature, as we learn and gain greater wisdom, it is inevitable that our goals, dreams plans, and expectations change.  And for some of us, struggling with difficult emotional, mental, and psychological problems, we know that we need to let go of that which doesn’t work any more, never really worked, and was never going to work as far as our personal life and relationships are concerned.

It’s first of all about letting go of expectations, resentments, and hard-wired negative emotions.  It’s about exploring and educating ourselves in new ways of living, it’s about finding ways to cope with those hard-wired negative emotions, it’s about discovering new ways of being, doing, thinking, and feeling.

Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.  ~  Charles Bukowski

However, I kid you not, unless you are reinventing yourself as an even worse version of the person you are today, (and I have seen many do that), then making a fundamental change to who and what you are, is fucking very difficult.

You can become a new, different, and better person very easily using your conscious mind ~ but know this, your conscious mind is only in control of your actions for about 5% of the time, the other 95% of the time your subconscious mind is in charge.  And you can’t talk to your subconscious and tell it that you’ve changed because there is nobody in there.  Your subconscious is made up of a set of programs that just run in response to stimuli and rewriting those programs is next to impossible.

One proven way to do it is called Habituation or Act As If.  It’s like learning to drive a car, you practice and you practice until a new set of ‘driving programs’ is stored in your subconscious.  So if you want to stop drinking, smoking, taking drugs, gambling, having endless casual sexual relationships, being a jerk, being a thief…..  then you need to practice and practice not doing those negative things and instead be a better person until those new and better programs are stored in your subconscious.  It will take a year or two.

The snag is that your family, ‘friends’, coworkers, partners in crime, et al., will sabotage you at every turn.  If you’re trying to stop drinking / smoking / taking drugs and you go out with your old circle of friends they will encourage you to drink / smoke / use ~ and the chances are you will give in.  They will continue to label you as alcoholic, addict, slut, jerk, thief, chain-smoker….. in casual conversation and when describing you ~ and that is how they will always think of you.  And none of that is helpful.

The lesson is, if you are reinventing yourself you have to leave behind your old life ~ including all those unsupportive family members, false friends, and toxic relationships because they will do their utmost to drag you down into the past.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

your false friends would like to see you stay there in the gutter with a bottle

8 responses

  1. You will never be in the gutter JC7. Just as I thought I was forgotten, I had a visit from 6 of my good ol friends from childhood. I am sure your friends are there and reinventing selves important as we face disruption in IT as our old jobs maybe replaced by robots or machines. Hmm I wonder if robot can be friends?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pretty soon robots will be friends and lovers, then we shall all need to reinvent ourselves again. Hugs and much love to you from Marmy and me. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny I read this post now as just last night we were talking about friendship and I was saying that actually are more true and genuine the recent friendship than the so called stories ones, the ones you have since childhood, because those people will always se you for what you were not for what you become….assuming you have changed and evolved of course😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sadly, that is a universal truth. Some people just do not want you to change for the better. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s the envy my friend …… of those living their lives through the misery of the others’.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Some false friends always want to drag us down.
          And, you deserve to be supported, nurtured, and cherished. ❤ ❤

          Liked by 1 person

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