Forgiveness

To truly forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner was you.

Looking back, I never learned what it means to truly forgive someone.  Worse than that, my morbid fear of abandonment makes it extremely difficult for me to forgive anyone I believe has / will / may betray me. 

Refusing to forgive has never made me feel better about anything.  All I was doing was holding on to negative feelings of upset, anger, jealousy, resentment, and a desire to somehow get even.  And all that has ever done for me has been to drive me deeper into the Abyss.

Resentment and holding on to anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  ~  Malachy McCourt

The worst of it is that I can become angry, resentful, jealous, paranoid, and believe that someone has betrayed me ~ when it’s really all in my own mind.  I can feel abandoned and betrayed by things that a friend did in the past, maybe years before we even knew one another.  The reason I am hurt may be just crazy, but the hurt is real, and the forgiveness I need to feel should be real as well.

To create even a moderately successful life I should forgive others who have hurt or offended me, even if the offence, betrayal, or hurt is really all in my own mind.  I need to learn forgiveness, not because I believe someone close to me was right, or because I can forget what they have done, but because forgiving will free me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  By forgiving I can allow myself to move on with my life ~ I can get my feet back on the warrior’s path.

Forgiving others will allow me to finally learn to trust.  Honest and real forgiveness will be a part of me learning to build relationships with others, instead of always having unstable and dysfunctional relationships which usually end with one of us just walking away.

Forgiveness will release me from my self-built dungeon of extremely dark and negative feelings.

Some things I will never forgive.  I will not forgive the low-life vermin who burgled my place a short while ago.  Come the Revolution they will be the first up against the wall and shot.

Some say that forgiving others is weak and stupid.  And that to forgive means that you weren’t actually hurt, upset, or angry in the first place. All I know is that I must forgive others for the sake of my own well-being.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

with forgiveness, it can be a Wonderful Life

5 responses

  1. Forgiveness in oneself is the first step awareness of what patterns we do and then after a bit of time … when all the patterns match up in walks your destiny 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t think forgiveness means you’re saying what they did was okay. It’s just saying you’ve made peace with who they are. I struggle with it as well, especially in regard to my ex and how he treats our adult children. But that’s who he is. Why should I allow it to upset me? Difficult…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s more difficult when you know all of the what, why, when, how, where, and who of it. Maybe it’s not OK, but maybe we have to forgive if only to free ourselves. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m really proud of your progress and development of higher self.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes struggle, trauma, or tragedy will allow the worthier person to realise how to grow and develop. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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