Strength of Character

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.

I’m in trouble, my soul is in distress, and it’s only bravado that’s keeping me sane and sober.

Every day is a winding road, and we can never know what the end of the day and the end of the road will bring.  The future and the destination are both uncertain, and sometimes all a man can do is to keep on going on.  And, it seems to me that the real man doesn’t give up, just because the going gets really tough.  As Churchill said sometimes we just have to ‘keep buggering on…..’

My past few years have had lots of ups and downs, but it seems that today I have really hit rock bottom, and there is no booze involved ~  I am stone cold sober.  In fact I have passed through sobriety to the desolate slough of despond that lies beyond.  Taking a drink would only solve the problem in so far as it would help me to forget my worries for a while.  In reality, taking a drink would compound and multiply my real and perceived problems ~ and that’s not a good plan.

For a while I’ve been working towards being a better man, more worthy on body, mind, and spirit  But, worthy for whom?  It seems that I’ve been striving to be better every day, not just for myself, but also for someone I cared for.  Trying to be the better guy for someone else is incredibly false, and it set me up for a fall.  Your Goddess will never be perfect, and that presupposes that your ideal of perfection has some ultimate truth.

So, from now on I will still go on quietly working to be the superior man; in body, mind, spirit, and achievements.  However, from now on I shall be doing this for myself, and never again to please another.  No more lists, no more plans, just living each day to the fullest.

The strong are considered weak, and the weak are considered strong, that’s the way of the world, but it’s not the way of the spirit.

Some say that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.  And that real character is to live each day as if it was your last.  All I know is that I don’t want to live another day feeling like this.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

don’t make a list

do something real instead

11 responses

  1. I really appreciate this writing because a couple of the men I’ve associated with over the past few years were dealing with their pain and problems by getting drunk, high and partying. These men are extremely smart and have so much potential, but are going in a downward spiral with more and more booze, drugs and partying. It hurts to see them ruin their lives. Hoping someday they hit their rock bottom and make a turnaround to be able to live their potential. I’ve had to disconnect from both because their pain bleeds into my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Booze, alcoholism, drugs, and what you call partying, hurt not only the guy doing all that shit, but also every one he comes into contact with. The first step in recovery is honestly admitting you have a problem, and then being willing to do anything and everything you can to stop drinking, using, partying ~ completely, forever, one day at a time.
      Unless and until that happens these guys are best left to pursue their own roads to self- destruction and death.
      You did well to walk away.
      I hope things turn around for you. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank-you. I really enjoy your articles and plan on reading more as I get time. You seem very wise. One of these men I was involved with (the other is just a friend) has this type of wisdom in him but he doesn’t apply it and his addictions take over every time. I obviously have work to do on myself, since I was entertaining a relationship with an alcoholic. He could sure sweet talk and charm – I fell for it every time he came back. But no more. Too toxic.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Men with a dark side are often very charming, and perhaps that’s just another facet of their addictions and personality disorder.
          But they can be toxic, and sometimes they can be dangerous.
          I used to be a little like that myself. ❤ ❤ ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  2. ‘Worthy for whom’ is completely the wrong attitude. You should aim to be worthy in your own eyes according to the standards you have set yourself and to what you are trying to achieve in life. If other people don’t consider this worthiness Tough! for them, not you.
    A word of advice. Don’t be so introspective. Go out and do something. A long walk is the best cure for depression; if you are so depressed that you cannot think of any other activity, hobby, charity work etc you would like to do. Getting an animal is also very therapeutic.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There is that saying that you shall love yourself. Focus on you and then you’ll be able to love others. Its a drawing effect I believe. If I got the message here wrong I am completely sorry. This was beautiful though. Its good to identify what seperates others from each other.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I have never loved myself. Ergo I cannot ever truly love another.
      I may cherish, care for, be enraptured by a woman, but until I learn to love myself, then I can never love you. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s fair enough. What if you don’t realize the moment you get enraptured by a woman, maybe you have fallen for her? You loved yourself without even knowing? Can that be possible?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You can desire a woman, and still hate yourself, and by extension feel no real love for her.
          I’ve been there. ❤ ❤

          Like

  4. What doesn’t kill you doesn’t care to. What we think tries to kill us and doesn’t… A survival of suburbia, shadows as beings of any think are important. Only when we look in the mirror are we reminded of the frauds we forgot we were pretending.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Only when I look in the mirror do I see the shadow man I was pretending to be.
      But thou are a fraudulent Goddess tempting me to go I know not where. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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