Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.  ~  Freud

Love’s Long Lonely Road to Nowhere

We are never so vulnerable as when we believe that we are in love.  We never suffer so much torment and pain as when we believe that we love someone.   We are never as confused and uncertain as when our love seems to be unrequited.  And, for many of us, we never do so much stupid and irrational stuff as when we are in love ~ or when we believe that we are in love, (which isn’t quite the same thing as true love at all).

Sigmund Freud built a whole series of complex psychoanalitical theories around the whole gamut of interpersonal relationships, from the Oedipus and Electra complexes to the idea of us all having an Id, Ego, and Superego.  If you wish you could try to make sense of your feelings by reading lots of Freud and his modern counterparts such as M. Scott Peck, but I wouldn’t bother.  The more you know the less sense it’s going to make.

Chances are that much of what Freud says is right, and also that some of it is utterly wrong.  However, I firmly believe that when Freud says that our interpersonal actions and reactions come from our subconscious mind he is absolutely correct.  And, especially so when our emotions and hormones are in control, such as when lust, desire, and love are in the frame.  That is when we are likely to think, feel, believe, and do some very stupid and irrational stuff ~ and when we are most likely to think, feel, believe, and do things that are completely opposite to anything that might make sense in the real world.

This is all down to the primitive defence mechanisms inherent in our body, mind, emotions, feelings…..  These defence mechanism include denial, repression, sublimation, and projection, and taken together these defence mechanisms make us believe things that either aren’t true, or never happened, or don’t matter anyway.  We unconsciously lie to ourselves, and that makes us lie to others, and that makes us often do the complete opposite of anything that makes sense.

How many times have I desired, cared for, loved someone…… and instead of cherishing them have done everything I could to push that person away from me?  And, how many times have you done that too?  If you have even the slightest tough of Borderline Personality Disorder, then the answer is; all the time.

Some say that they are in love, when it’s actually lust and desire.  And that love and hate are but two sides of the same coin.  All I know is that you can’t love anyone unless you first love yourself.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

booze, drugs, cigarettes, and casual sex never solve anything