If an Englishman were to get run down by a truck, he would apologise to the truck. ~ Jackie Mason
Every Englishman is convinced of a couple of things; that to be born an Englishman is to have won first prize in life, and that it is better to be an English Gentleman than to be a Good Guy from any other country on Earth.
Hollywood actresses want to be admired by Americans, courted by an Italian, have an affair with a Frenchman, but be married to an Englishman. So what makes Englishmen so admired?
- Englishmen are the most charming and best mannered people on Earth, bar none.
- Englishmen are very open to new, eccentric, and weird ideas.
- Englishmen will dress however they please ~ no matter what. The best dressed men on the planet are Italians who are trying to look English, and the English when they’re trying to look Italian.
- Mostly we are very ‘happy go lucky’ and ‘easy going’ in a well-mannered sort of a way, anyway no other men on Earth have any manners at all.
- We treasure freedom of speech above all things, our prime minister can be subjected to some terrible diatribes in the House of Commons. We reserve the right to be extremely rude about everyone except our own Queen.
- The English treat Sundays just like every other day of the week, except we don’t go to work. Our stores are open almost 24/7/365.
- Our sense of fair play and concern for the underdog.
- The Englishman’s sense of humour, which mostly does not translate across the Atlantic. Especially nobody but the English understands irony, rhetoric, or sarcasm.
- Mature Englishmen are the best drivers in the world, bar none. We are frequently horrified by the standards of driving in every other country we visit ~ where they mostly drive on the wrong side of the road anyway.
- And there have been some truly great Englishmen; The Beatles, Brunel, Byron, Churchill, Cook, Coleridge, Darwin, Elgar, Elizabeth I, Elton John, Fleming, Henry V, Nelson, Newton, Kipling, The Rolling Stones, Shakespeare, Sturgeon, Wellington, Whittle, Wodehouse….. And Bond, James Bond
And #11 Mature Englishmen have the very best accent, which is also utterly impossible for a non-Englishman to imitate.
Some say that an Englishman’s way of speaking absolutely identifies him. And that most Englishmen are very conservative and terribly old-fashioned. All I know is that I’m proud to be English.
the Union Flag contains the English cross of St George, the cross of St. Patrick of Ireland, and St. Andrew’s Saltire of Scotland.