Sexual Jealousy

Sexual Jealousy, that dangerous dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.

Sexual jealousy is being upset, angry, bitter, resentful, and depressed because someone who you profess to love has been unfaithful, or seems interested in another person, or was involved with others in the past, or you imagine that they are, or were.  It isn’t real ~ sexual jealousy is actually caused by insecurity, fear, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.

My friends, and especially my women friends, used to suffer terribly from my irrational jealousies.  My jealousy wasn’t so much fun for me either, it did nothing for me except to make me unhappy and encourage me to get drunk.  My jealousy may have been unpleasant for others, but it was an absolute torment for me.  Being a miserable, resentful, angry, jealous drunk isn’t marked anywhere on the road to happiness and serenity, but it’s a major waypoint on the road to coming face to face with your own personal, terrifying dragon.

Yet, I was only tormenting myself in fear of being hurt and tormented by someone I thought I cared for ~ if you truly care for someone then jealousy has no place in your heart.  Ergo, I did not really care for, far less love, any women I became jealous over.  In fact, the best I could say is that I was infatuated.  Any man who becomes infatuated over a woman does not value himself, and I was even worse than that, back then I didn’t even like myself.

Men and women are jealous in different ways, and for different reasons ~ typically men will become jealous because of a perceived threat to their ego, masculinity, sexual dominance, and existing relationship.  However, women generally become jealous because of the threat to their existing relationship, and not because of their potentially bruised ego.

Any action taken as a result of sexual jealousy is likely to be extremely destructive ~ it will do nothing towards repairing your relationship, nor will it foster a greater understanding between you and your partner.  On the contrary, in my case any woman I was involved with would always feel that she was walking on eggshells, and be afraid to be herself in case my jealousy spilled over in to judgementalism, leading to my attacking her verbally and in writing.

Some say that there is never any benefit in being jealous.  And, don’t get jealous, just get even.  All I know is that if your partner has really done something bad enough to make you insanely jealous, then it’s time you just walked away from that failed relationship.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

Angry, Abusive, Controlling, Confrontational,  Distrustful, Hate, Insecurities, Intolerant,  Possessive, Resentful, Sarcastic, Selfish,

and Fucking Dangerous.

18 responses

  1. Jealousy is only valid if you truly love someone then if you do then that person would never put you in a position to feel this emotion.. Envy is more beneficial mainly because you can grow and understand what that person can teach you.. never feel bad about feeling this emotion because it is a reminder that you can love another and feel with your heart and soul… it means you care my dear friend x

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  2. Jealousy has been the hardest trait to overcome. I am way better than I used to be but the one thing that still makes me jealous I just cant kick fully. I have pep talks with myself reminding myself a lot of the same things you mentioned in this post.its a damn hard thing to kill off, such an ugly emotion.

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  3. Jealousy is one of those silly emotions. I’ve learned, the hard way, to let it go. It tears your soul to be jealous of something or someone. I can choose to be sad, but the other is beyond sad. It is often because of fear….or that is what most of mine derived from. Fear is horrible and a totally different part of life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kris, I completely understand. ❤ ❤ ❤
      I feel so much more empowered now that my jealousies have gone.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It does make life a bit easier…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Jealousies were ruining my life, destroying relationships, and hurting other people. And that sucks.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. What you? Jello? Ruined your life? Whose? What was destroyed? I never saw any news? Ppl who died? Who sucked whose? Oh, shit over read stuff for a minominute! Walking away now

            Liked by 1 person

      2. Errm is this where i should ask you whete for ought thouie gonish?

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        1. Where for art thou Fran. ❤

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  4. Hmm, dear me your extremely harsh on yourself Mr Jack… settle down a bit

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No I haven’t cheated. But, I used to get jealous for no good reason, particularly I would become insanely jealous about things that my partner had done even before she met me. Utterly crazy. But now, I’m totally confident and self-assured so all that insanity is a thing of the past. ❤ ❤ 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. We all do sometimes Jack, nothing wrong with that it only means you love and that is a good thing xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It was utterly insane to get jealous of things that happened before we ever met. ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  5. who cheated on you??? Not you??? No way tell me all while I am here

    Liked by 1 person

    1. who are you madam fiendish sly dammmsellllllll

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I haven’t cheated on my current friend. But I would with you. 👅

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        1. Hmmm i might have to ask my husband what you mean by that statement…

          Liked by 1 person

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