habits, routines, and rituals

you never change your life until you step outside of your comfort zone

We all of us have safe routines and habits that almost never change.  Most small teddy bears are afraid of the sea.  Most people are a little afraid of the new, the strange, and the different.

Every day we go to work, we dress in the same clothes in the same style, we eat the same food.  Our circle of friends pretty much never changes.  We visit our parents at the weekend, and we spend the rest of each weekend doing almost the same things we did last weekend.  We have our favourite seat at the bar in our usual pub, and our favourite type of booze to drink at home.

That picture is intensified if we have a partner, because not only do we live within our own comfort zone, we also feel that we have to live within theirs.  Actually, some people do have to live well within their partner’s comfort zone, because to do otherwise would invite dire consequences.

Mostly we do not invite new and different experiences into our lives.  Often we judge others harshly for sometimes doing things differently, and for stepping outside what we think is their role in our lives.  Often we resent that people we know, our family and friends, for seeking to expand their own horizons, find new opportunities, seek out new experiences, and try to find new friends and lovers.

It’s sort of OK for you to resent it if people you know are trying to find something new in their lives ~ something that doesn’t necessarily involve you.  All of us suffer from a fear of abandonment to one extent or another, and resenting someone close to you if they try to find new horizons is merely an unconscious expression of that fear of abandonment.  But get over it.  Just because your friend is looking for new friends doesn’t mean they are going to leave you behind ~ unless you’ve really pissed them off.  Who knows?  Your friend’s new friends may become your friends too.

You know what?  It’s all about you.  Welcome new experiences, visit new places, make new friends, try dressing differently, do something crazy once in a while.

Some say that it’s better to build walls around themselves than to risk getting hurt again.  And, that the tried and trusted is safer than looking for something different.  All I know is that this month I will do at least one new, different, and crazy thing.


jack collier


for me,

getting in the sea with her would be truly outside of my comfort zone.

9 responses

  1. ‘Living inside partner’s comfort zone’…brilliant! 🙂 I have to think about this some more. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Too often we are dissuaded from doing the things we would really like to do, because we know it’s something our partner would feel uncomfortable with, and hence disapprove of. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! It definitely is true probably not just in my life. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes your typing what I am thinking or another, however, the most frustrating thing I seem to have atm is that each time we try it seems all the blame falls onto me?

    I am a huge one for out of the box experiences I have liked my entire life like that well at least after my divorce… but for some reason restrictions rise up and then fall down and then if ever it will be blamed onto me because obviously I am the chosen one and make all the decsions and take all the blame whent the shit hits the fan..

    I get tied of seeing nothing and getting the rocks thrown at me for no reason apart fom its my fault.. what a load of shit

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Some men just aren’t worth the effort. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jump in Jack. Eskimo Joe to the sea. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on WJ Clark and commented:
    Jack Collier

    Liked by 1 person

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