Dark Minds

Your memory is a monster it summons with a will of its own.  You think you have a memory, but it has you.  ~  John Irving

My strongest belief was that I was doing well, that I was making an escape from the dark demons that were haunting me.

I told myself that I was a cool guy, living a great life.  Cool is not a good adjective to apply to myself.  It excuses all kinds of previous negative actions, and on-going manipulation of others.

In doing my best to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder I was just making things much worse.

The Holidays and all through January have been very bad, and as you would expect, I had a complete alcohol-fueled breakdown last week.  Since Sunday my body, mind, and spirit have just concentrated on my staying alive.

I will try to make amends to all those people I have hurt.  Maybe I’ll die trying.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Alone in the darkness is a very bad place

5 responses

  1. You need soothing music

    Like

  2. Sending you healing energy, Jack! I hope you are feeling better.

    Like

  3. Every day is a new start. Continue to move forward one step at a time. Sending hugs and strength.

    Like

  4. Hmm, i had a shit of a day… do u see me growning? Ok a little but seriously hehe

    Like

  5. Omg Jack. (Hugs) I’m here for you. I know it sounds or seems hollow, but it’s not. I really mean it. Thank you for being honest and upfront. I hope you read my cult blog post. Because that was about you. Well… sort of, not really, it was about me. But the last paragraph was for you. You’ve been a delight and a friend.

    Like

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