Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. ~ Charles R. Swindoll.
I wanted to share with you something I learned on a four-day retreat in the high desert of New Mexico.
When we just react, mostly we react unconsciously, without thinking about things at all. That isn’t at all surprising because for 90% of the time our subconscious mind is running the show, meaning that our consciousness is only in charge for 10% of the time.
It’s a bit more complicated than that, because our unconscious mind never forgets anything. Therefore, when we just react, our subconscious is using behaviours that we learned before we were about seven years of age. All the negative stuff we learned from our parents, older siblings, teachers, and other adults is deep down in there, and it will come out when we least want it too.
When you feel threatened, judgemental, jealous, envious, angry….. you will probably react in ways you learned as a child. It’s not you that’s having an argument with your husband / lover / boss, it’s the 7-year-old child arguing, using negative behaviours you learned before you knew any better. It’s worse than that, because it seems that our subconscious mind has very little self-control.
Our subconsciousness / unconscious mind, which runs the show for 90% of the time, is really a pretty stupid, non-selective, totally emotional, feminine autopilot, (that’s not sexist ~ the conscious mind has mostly male characteristics and subconscious mostly female). The subconscious will accept ideas as truth, no matter how negative or destructive, and never fails to express ideas that have been impressed upon it. It’s our subconscious that will let us drink too much, use drugs, have casual sex…..
But, and here’s the good thing, our conscious, objective male mind can dominate our subconscious mind, if only we truly know what we need and desire We also have to learn to talk to our subconscious and knowingly impress feelings onto that part of our brain.
If you can meditate, then you’re half way there. If you know how to achieve heart ~ brain harmony, then you’re just about all the way there. Talk to your heart and your words and feelings will reach your subconsciousness. But, use very simple, positive and unambiguous phrases. Don’t say; ‘I want to be a really charismatic guy…..’ because your subconscious mind will accept the thought that you want to be, and do nothing about that thought / feeling. Instead say to your heart; ‘I am a really charismatic guy…..’ and suddenly you are charismatic.
I turned my whole life around by saying and believing; ‘I am a really cool guy, living a really great life…..’
Honestly, our subconscious has a very emotional and unintelligent way of controlling our lives, mostly by reacting without there being any conscious or selective thought in the process. Therefore, to have an emotionally intelligent subconscious, we must first turn to our consciousness and impress its intelligence upon our inner mind.
There are a hell of a lot of books and stuff on the internet about all this, so the thing to bear in mind is to keep things simple, because 90% of our minds is quite stupid really.