Finding Myself

They’ve all come to look for America…..

Four intensive days attending a self-awareness retreat.  Because that’s what it was, self-awareness from the internal structure of human cells to the unconscious vibrations we put out into The Field that surrounds us all.  Most of all it was about getting in touch with my inner voice, the subconscious programs that run 95% of my life.

Turns out that most of my life was being run by all the crap I soaked up like a sponge before I was seven years old, and that left me prey to the greatest terror of all young children ~ the fear of abandonment.  Even the youngest child instinctively knows that if his or her primary care givers abandon them, then they will surely die.  That fear has been ruling my life for all of my life.

And, WTF, I am a uniquely capable and able grown man, who is more than equipped to look after himself in just about any set of circumstances, up to and including being shipwrecked on a desert island ~ and I won’t need a basketball to talk to.

The one thing that always unconsciously terrified me was the ending of a relationship with a woman ~ due to this whole fear of abandonment thing that was ruling my subconscious mind.

But, I know that now, and I also know how to change the programs that were ruling, and will continue to rule most of my life.  (You can Never get away from the fact that about 95% of what you do, think, and say comes from your subconscious.)

I have found the real me , I know the real me, and I have changed 2 big things about me.  I am no longer a bad carbon copy of my parents, (especially my dad), and I now longer fear abandonment.

The real me, the true me, is now a very cool and very capable guy 100% of the time.

Some say we can Never get away from our upbringing.  And, that we can never really change our innermost thoughts, feelings, attitudes, hopes, and fears.  All I know is that if you are prepared to work hard enough to find the fulcrum, then you can move your whole world.


Jack Collier

don’t just go through the motions

Live a Cool Life instead


12 responses

  1. I’m glad you found yourself-good read 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 100% of the time…wow, great result lol
    I have to go to the retreat too. Maybe this winter. Bcz soon surgery of my dog, then she has to be at home 2 weeks, mostly in relaxing mode 🙂 then I’m going to Spain for Xmas

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I hope your dog is OK. ☺
      I’m off to the Algarve in Portugal for Christmas. Shame it’s not Spain. 💖💖😎
      100% of the time is maybe more of a positive affirmation than an actual fact. LOL ☺❤❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL affirmations rules! 🙂
        I hope my dog will be ok, she’s very active. Have fun in Portugal..I’m going to visit one day too. That’s why am learning Portuguese haha

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry – that should be: self-affirmation!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sweetheart ❤❤


  4. What a powerful sel-affirmation! I like it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow jack that sounds awesome

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sweetheart, it is awesome. 💖💖💖


      1. Cool sounds like a good investment hun

        Liked by 1 person

        1. This is something I have only just realised myself… change is quick, however, trauma and pain can hold you back.. but, as you are aware I have had a few areas of my own life that has challenged me.. Always understand you are the only one that can make it different..

          I remember a long time ago what hurt made me feel… it made me sad, unhappy, miserable, all those horrible moments of doom and gloom but, that isn’t me.. I am a happy, vibrant, spirited chick and I love people.. I just do… and I like me…

          So can you, remember just because society says so… doesn’t mean it is so..

          Liked by 1 person

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