What Some Women Say They Don’t Want

Should a guy always pay the tab in a fancy restaurant?

Following my ‘Shipping Forecast’ post earlier today, I have been roundly disabused about what women want.  A close friend of mine has told me, in no uncertain terms, that most women do not want ‘guys who pick up the restaurant bill, arrange the vacations and buy the tickets, and who will go to wild parties and pretend to enjoy them……’

Funny, she could have fooled me, because where ever I have been with her, whatever great road trips we have been on, whenever we have been to a nice restaurant, or called at a cool bar ~ I have always paid for everything.  And, from the first time I met her she has expected me to always pay for everything.  (With the exception of a few drinks, or a meal once in a while…..)

Also she has expected me to enjoy meeting her family and friends at various lunches and get-togethers.  Quite frankly I don’t want to get to know her family and friends.  We don’t have that kind of relationship.

As it goes I don’t mind always picking up the tab, but I object when she says that’s not what she wants, and that it’s not what most women want.

Or, have I got things totally wrong, again?

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

the end of a great road trip

33 responses

  1. Well, it is a tough question Jack. I have been with a man where I paid for most things, and am now with a man who totally controls the finances. I can’t say that either is ideal. It is lovely to have a man take me out, buy flowers or little gifts, but I would need to love him dearly to allow that to happen (speaking from a woman’s point of view). You might ask why? I think it does come down to the question of sex. I never want to feel bought. It is something that has happened (more than once) and it feels demeaning, like I am no more than the sum of physical attributes. That is the most ’empty’ feeling in the world, Jack!

    Your trip with your friend, to a New Age retreat, sounds lovely (something I’d enjoy myself because my life is a tiny bit out of kilter) and indicative that you are both searching for some peace and serenity in your lives. You might both be looking for something different, hence your current disagreement. Tread carefully, watch and learn. These disagreements can turn nasty and all your disallusionments in life can be hurled at each other. Truth can be fleeting when a commitment must be fulfilled. Instead, it can become a ‘grin and bear it’ situation. Such a lovely trip would be such a waste if you could not enjoy it.

    Perhaps try a compromise with each other. Avoid contentious subjects until after your trip. You might just find new insight into your sticking points with some enlightenment from meditation and joyous sharing at the retreat. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I cannot comment on your hotel post….. I was going to say something about fantasies forfilling in hotels… this response is for that post about hotels and hookers

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do hotels, I don’t do hookers. ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh come on why r u so fussy?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It really depends on the specific situation. Ideally, I’d meet a man with an average income and we’d split things we could both afford so neither would feel financially burdened, but that hasn’t happened. I’ve always met men with more money who either aggressively pay for everything and make me feel uncomfortable, or they expect me to split things I can’t afford. Bleh!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I neither aggressively pay for everything, nor do I expect my friend to pay for things she can’t afford. I believe she tests my by getting me to pay for just about everything.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds like she’s playing some game 🙁

        Liked by 1 person

  4. well depends if he expects sex yes he pays the bill if he doesnt then he still pays the bill cuz he will still try

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We don’t have that kind of relationship.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh, okay fine… how rude and i was fond of you… that was a joke.. pretty good one actually… no one likes my jokes damn it

        Like

        1. As they say in the show; ‘No sex please, I’m British…..’ ❤

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Har that’s funny want a bit of crumpet lol

          Liked by 1 person

      2. life is somewhat funny fair call you may not same question though your asking should she pay? yes and no it all depends on that level within yourself and of course if your a miser of a cheap pratt that prefers to live by equal means.. that was a little joke… with a touch of pazaz or something like that… your asking us the question.. so I am only happy enough to answer it with the wit and charm that I seem to have… that was another joke.. lol

        Liked by 1 person

        1. As it goes, I think a guy should pay for his female friend. ❤ 😉 What I didn't like was her saying that she's never expected me to pay for everything ~ and that's just not true, and her saying that upset me.
          And, I’m neither a miser nor a cheap pratt.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. I know. and I bet your not…. xx

          Liked by 1 person

        3. I’m taking my friend to a New Age retreat in New Mexico in November. Without even leaving my place that trip has already cost me $3,269:14. By the time I get home I expect that I’ll have spent around $7,000 to take her somewhere we both want to go.
          So, not miserly, nor cheap. ❤

          Liked by 1 person

        4. Far out… your fine chilax it sounds like your planning a beautiful experience that both will or all will enjoy so how excitingly gorgeous… you must tell me everything later… I will be watching your words JC7…. sounds delicious… very, exciting ….. hehe

          Liked by 1 person

        5. BTW please put pictures as well 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

      3. Sorry JC7 I do agree with you that is a bit steep and if your not personally involved with her on the biblical sense that is a lot of money .. and a tad rude of her not to put her hand in her big bag 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I will post lots of pictures of my New Mexico trip. ❤
          If I was just into sex, I could have bought a lot of hotel rooms and a few hundred hookers with the thousands of dollars I've spent on a platonic friendship.
          Probably I'm crazy.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. better spend your money on good food… those hoes are not really worth the spend my friend 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I truly appreciate when a man is chivalrous, but I don’t and won’t expect it. I love the “old fashioned” rolls as long as we are always equals and the dynamic works for both. It’s always give and take. Open my door and I’ll proudly take my place on your arm. Pay the tab at dinner and allow me to bring you a drink at home 🥃. Rub my sore feet after work and I’ll show you a special gratitude.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I think my chivalry and courtly love is being spread a little thin….. ❤ ❤

      Like

  6. If a woman is financially able she should either plan some dinners and entertainment at home (movie, etc) and occasionally take her date out to dinner and pick up the tab. Dating is expensive and a financial burden that can be shared to make life easier.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have a feeling that the situation I’m in is a lot more complicated than that. ❤ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I don’t know the story , just badge mgbthid on what O know which is next to nothing ♥️😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Basing …auto correct , grrr

        Liked by 1 person

        1. If you’ve read my blog posts over the past few days, then you know a hell of a lot. ❤ ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Maybe I’m considered old-fashioned nowadays, but expect the man to open doors for me and pick up tabs on everything.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That seems right to me, just as long as you’re happy to agree to that ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it must be mutual. If you’re not on the same page, it could harbor negative feelings and potentially sabatoge a relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It seems that my friend and I are not even in the same book, let alone on the same page. ❤

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Maybe it’s time for a discussion?

          Liked by 1 person

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