Sex, Love, and Heartache

Wherever I go, I always find that special person who is so wrong for me.

In the world’s largest financial centres, I spent most of my career making a hell of a lot of money by exploiting my knowledge of people and what makes them tick.  In London, Paris, New York, and Chicago I learned to read people, and know what they really want, need, and desire.  My skill was in matching the things I could do with what my clients thought they wanted.  And, for a long while, I was the acknowledged world expert in my field of esoteric banking.  But, really, my success was all due to the way I could use my interpersonal skills.

If I am so skilled at the art of interpersonal relationships, how come I can get it so wrong with women?  Some of the time I am forceful, passionate, prideful, self-indulgent, sensual, lustful, and too warm towards women who possess grace, beauty, and charm.  If I am very attracted to a woman I can be far too liberal with my affection, compassion, time, love, and money.  I tend to do a little too much by way of extravagances, and luxuries.  Maybe I send flowers too often.  And, as you would expect, sometimes these women take everything I can give without the slightest show of gratitude, appreciation, or affection in return.

A fool and his money are soon parted, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart.  ~  Thomas Tusser

Obviously I am not doing the right things, in the right way, at the right time, with the right person.  There isn’t the right balance, or sense of equilibrium.  And there’s the rub ~ we don’t choose who we fall in love with.

Something tells me that self-confidence, strength, and passion are a heady mixture which is not always under my control ~ I often let my emotions run away with me, and this can only lead to loneliness and heartache.

My past has been marred by decisions I made that have left me feeling disappointed and bitter.  It’s important for me to remember that I am accountable for my decisions.  What I need to do is reflect on those past choices in a frank and healthy way, without looking at the past through rose-coloured glasses, or sugar coating the choices I made in error.  I have made many bad choices, which then turned out very differently from the way I had hoped.

At times this has caused me much pain, worry, wasted time, and wasted money.  Perhaps I fool myself that I always tried to do my best, and that I always had good intentions at heart ~ but I don’t think so.  I did my best with the cards Life dealt me, but somehow things always took unexpected turns.

There may have been doubts in my heart which I ignored.  I was careless, and not always honest with myself.  I have often acted impulsively, with utter disregard for the consequences.  I have had the feeling of being utterly out of my depth, and I usually pressed on regardless.

Some say that we can only learn by our own mistakes.  And, that we don’t fail by falling down, we fail by  staying down.  All I know is that I’ve made some bloody painful mistakes.

If there’s nothing much about sex in the paragraphs I’ve written above ~ that’s because usually there hasn’t been any.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Exactly the sort of woman I should have never been involved with.  Great legs do not necessarily a nice person make.

 

6 responses

  1. Women can be very complex or very simple creatures. Honestly it sounds to me as if you have had bad luck and either been attracted to or run into the wrong type for you! There are plenty of women in the world for whom money means little to nothing. Some are very educated and enjoy many of the things you do: good food, travel, reading, staying fit.

    Perhaps, when meeting someone, try a different approach. Don’t divulge everything about yourself. Don’t be the one to use your money as a tool to buy affection. Use your brain: go for long walks, talk endlessly, go see lovely things in museums or in the countryside. You live in such a beautiful land and there are many fun inexpensive things to do whilst courting/dating. Save the spending for if/when you both know it’s serious. Otherwise, unscrupulous ladies learn early they can take advantage of guys like you. What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good insights Jack. Albert Einstein said that we can’t use the same thinking that created a problem, to solve it.
    So, you have identified the thinking that created a problem (flashing your money, no matter how well and lovingly intended, attracts the wrong people to you). So your thinking should change…try meeting someone on neutral territory and try to get to know them, and they you before whisking them off on an escapist trip on your bucket list… Your previous relationships seem to have only been along for that particular lucrative ride. See what a new girlfriend has to offer you before trying to swamp the whole get-to-know-you prequel to a relationship with materialistic baubles! 💕💕💕

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You really did good in making financial gains. Think of the good and ignore the bad. Be happy with self. Take care and if you were next door, I’d take you out for coffee and a croissant. Garfield hugs Jack💖🐺🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Take the emotions out of the equation, maybe you’ll see true colors…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Aww. This is totally real, it happens in real life, the emotions are not superficial bit a part of a reality. Love it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. “And, that we don’t fail by falling down, we fail by staying down.”
    This is true!

    Liked by 1 person

%d bloggers like this: