The first step in solving a problem is to admit that you have it.
And, the second step in solving a problem is to tell someone about it.
For me, the savage black dog of depression is never very far away.
There have been many times that I have been in denial about my problems. And, there have been many times that I tried to solve my problems on by own, through will-power and self-control. Yet, nobody can solve all their problems without help from others.
A lot of the time I have created my own problems through my own character defects, such as; anger, controlling, depression, drinking too much, fear, impulsiveness, being judgmental, jealousy, and lack of self-confidence….. Also I convince myself that I am in love far too easily and far too often.
Partly these character defects are the result of a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and partly they are down to my own desires, lusts, and need for instant gratification.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I can’t go on ~ I always have the feeling that I don’t belong ~ that I am just not good enough.
No man can be a hero every day, and some days I just don’t try. But, on the days I do try, I try to be honourable, true, honest, bold, and brave. On those days I try to walk the warrior’s path with real and honest virtue.
Words are cheap, but sometimes words are all I have.
Maybe I’ll live so long I’ll forget her.
Maybe I’ll die trying.