I have my problems.

The first step in solving a problem is to admit that you have it.
And, the second step in solving a problem is to tell someone about it. 

For me, the savage black dog of depression is never very far away.

There have been many times that I have been in denial about my problems.  And, there have been many times that I tried to solve my problems on by own, through will-power and self-control.  Yet, nobody can solve all their problems without help from others.

A lot of the time I have created my own problems through my own character defects, such as; anger, controlling, depression, drinking too much, fear, impulsiveness, being judgmental, jealousy, and lack of self-confidence…..  Also I convince myself that I am in love far too easily and far too often.

Partly these character defects are the result of a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and partly they are down to my own desires, lusts, and need for instant gratification.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I can’t go on ~ I always have the feeling that I don’t belong ~ that I am just not good enough.

No man can be a hero every day, and some days I just don’t try.  But, on the days I do try, I try to be honourable, true, honest, bold, and brave.  On those days I try to walk the warrior’s path with real and honest virtue.

Words are cheap, but sometimes words are all I have.

Jack Collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

Maybe I’ll live so long I’ll forget her.

Maybe I’ll die trying.

11 responses

  1. […] with my friend, about me writing posts entitled; Worrying About Life, Feeling very ill, and I have my problems, has put me right back to square […]

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  2. Words are cheap ? Not when you have good ones ? Positive and encouraging, others and self. It is brave to share. Sometimes when we feel lonely, it seems the only way to get attention is to have an affair..but then it fades ..leaving us depressed and troubled again..so another fling 🙂 Harm is too many makes you addicted to the whole segment.
    But..it’s human nature to love and be loved ,even if it’s momentarily.

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    1. Affairs and casual sex are never a good answer to loneliness. ❤

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  3. It is a very thorny issue because of the many variants of the disease. As is mental, only psychologists are apparently the ones who can treat it. At least, you face your problem decisively and that is already a big step. Greetings.

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    1. Admitting I still have a problem was a very positive step.

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  4. You are brave to share and so strong, words may seem humble but are unbreakable!

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    1. Thank you sweetheart. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  5. We all have our problems Jack. You are not unique. How we address or ignore them is up to us. The biggest fear is that we might ‘jump from the pan into the fire,’ in our attempt to put the problem. The rule of life is that we must keep moving. The journey is neither predictable nor comfortable unless we find an inner peace that allows us to cope with adversity.
    May light enter your space and allow you to see peace within the dark, for darkness and light are always present. You need to force yourself to accept only that which serves your well-being. And that dear friend, is the difficult part to do when temptation is all around for self-destruction. Be strong!

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    1. Put the problem…. Should read ‘cure the problem.’

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  6. The battle is its own virtue. Fluctuation is how it works, ambivalence is common to all.

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